- Member Since 20th Aug, 2013
- offline last seen Aug 17th, 2023
Raidah
Barely active anymore. Feel free to read my plethora of stories though. I’ll reply to any PMs I receive
Raidah
Joined 20th Aug, 2013 ·
Offline
Featured In17
Shipping 💖11,690 stories ·9,752 members
Crossovers10,958 stories ·7,369 members
Rainbow Dash7,272 stories ·4,149 members
Dark8,363 stories ·3,770 members
- Dead Space Crossover38 stories ·331 members
Applejack2,130 stories ·1,769 members
Game Crossovers4,414 stories ·5,478 members
- Organized Shipping (Most Common)2,161 stories ·1,334 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.178 seconds
Total duration
850 users online
964,901 hits today, 1,870,739 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
As a Dead Space avocado – I mean, aficionado – I wasn't all that interested. The only thing that relates the story to the series is the Marker, and even then, none of the miners have even had the slightest bit of a strange thing happen to them. Although I feel like the sudden sex scene goes against Dead Space, I can't keep you from doing that, as there's nothing that says you can't do that in Dead Space. Maybe you should try writing a prologue that's about one or two thousand words long about the miners before they find the Marker. Try putting in some small talk to make them feel more like living beings rather than characters.
Also, I'd suggest looking at the Writing Guide on the site. Hover over the FAQ option, and it should pop up.
3609664 you realize that the insanity, homicides and suicides comes in chapter 2, right?
3609664 also, you said that a sex scene wouldn't fit in Dead Space? You clearly haven't seen Aftermath...
3611642 I saw Aftermath, and it sucked. It is the ONLY thing Dead Space I will never re-visit. The combination of 3D modeling and 2D animation was a horrible idea, manly because the 3D had barely any shading and had clunky movements. The sex scene you are talking about lasted about 30 seconds and, if I recall, had barely any sexual acts. The only thing good about that movie was that they brought in Nolan Stross, and it seemed to me that was only done to fit it in the timeline somewhere. The O'Bannon is never mentioned in any of the games.
As a response to your first comment, the Marker will effect anyone and everyone in the vicinity when it is found, as well as when anyone sees it for the first time. Examples include Deakin Abbot and Sam Caldwell. You don't have to even see it to be affected by it, as we see with Isaac in the first two games. Usually, what happens is that, when a Marker is discovered, the suicides start to come first caused by hallucinations of friends or family members. Anyone exposed to the Marker for long amounts of time will experience hallucinations that will cause them to go mad and kill those around them, as seen with Dantec and Hennessy in Martyr.
Things do not happen suddenly with the Marker. It builds up like a volcano and suddenly bursts with action.
3611760 I'll just say that chapter 2 is called "Within Two Weeks..." You can guess what went down in said two weeks...
3611774 But you can't just skip two whole weeks! Readers need to know what went down! They can't just guess! I know people want to skip to the action, but that doesn't make it a story. You have to write feeling into the character, make us have emotions directed towards them. Do we want them to survive? Do we want them to die? Your story may look cool, but it'll be two dimensional. Characters will be just characters, not beings.
3611780 tell that to Downfall. Because I'm doing the same thing as it did. At the start of the chapter Fluttershy is giving Twilight a report on a spike in violent incidents all over Ponyville. It's not like I'm leaving it out. Hell the outbreak is about to start. Stop judging me!!!
3611789 Downfall never skipped major details. It skipped over a couple of weeks, yes (which I can assure you were laid out in the Dead Space comic), but nothing that wouldn't contribute to the movie.
3613345 exactly, which is wha I'm doing with this.
3613355 But you said you're skipping right to the murders and insanity and death everywhere. Something had to happen.
3613549 wait... What? Gah never mind. Just wait for the next chapter...
Well this HAS to be better than Dead Space 3... Hopefully.
3618487 Hey! I like Dead Space 3!!!
3621026
"It must be one of the aliens that lived on this planet."
3622555 I don't even remember that line... But whatever, to each their own
3622595
Oh... You remember. JK do well at this bro.
3622973 I don't know what you mean by that... Is it a good luck wish or something?
I'm glad you like the cover, hope your story goes well
3623805 thanks! For both the cover and the good luck wish.
3623805 the irony is that I just finished ch2...
3623650
No I'm condemning you to hell... YES I'M WISHING YOU GOOD LUCK.
At least it wasn't like Chapter 1. I think I looked the most like AVGN the day I read that...
3624553 love you too Bigiqua!!!
Omfg! You made a dead space comic lol!
Is Isaac Clarke in it?
3833440 comic? Wat? Please tell me you read this?
3833453 yes! I love dead space no matter what!
3833453 sorry I mean story.
3833498 oh, well to answer your question; no. If he were in it, there would have been a human tag
3613549 if you played dead space:extraction you would know.
3833560 Know what, exactly?
3833543 oh yeah that's right.
I like this story it's like dead space: down fall.
3833625 how the sudden murders and deaths happened. It tells you that the people who got close to the marker went crazy. In which they say it told them to kill people.
3833658 They weren't sudden. They were built up. First, there were tons of cases where people couldn't sleep. They were prescribed sleeping medicine, but it didn't help most people. Then, people started to see their dead friends and family, warning them about the Marker and telling them to leave the Marker alone. Fights then began to break out – usually between Unitologists and the people calling them out. All this built up to where we see Sam Caldwell help with taking the Marker off its pedestal. People started to go nuts and kill each other, Sam having to survive the whole ordeal. Finally, as he's in the Megavents, the main event that set everything off occurred: Deakin Abbot led a mass of Unitologists to commit suicide in Union Square.
All hell breaks loose, and P-Sec deals with the fallout for the following two weeks before the Necromorphs start to come to life.
3833711 I know all of this I've played all the games, seen all the movies, and read all the comics. Sam was one the ones who went crazy. Not only P-sec had to deal with the murders but Ishimura security as well.
3833771 So then why are you trying to say that the murders and suicides were so sudden?
3833830 because at the time in this story they were just a few then a sudden increased number of murders came out of no where.
3833899 I'm trying to point out how that's a bad idea for the story, though!
3833915 and I'm saying that not a single fuck was given. It's my story, I'll write it however the fuck I want to. People seem to like it the way it is, so if it ain't broke don't fix it.
3833915 I understand at what you're saying but it's good that he's doing that. Cause it will keep people interested in the story to find out later what happened. It did with me.
3833915 see?! 3833946 gets it!
3833931 Look, I'm trying to help your write a good story in general, never mind the Dead Space stuff. Your pacing is fast, the ponies seem pretty OoC to me, and the only way you're relating to the crossover material is in the two things that are widely known about it and nothing else that would make the reader think, "Wow, I never knew that!" if they weren't familiar with the crossover in question. I'm trying to explain to you how to improve your story so that more people will like it while being neither rude nor constricting to your imagination.
I've just put it bluntly what's wrong, so please take it into consideration.
3833962 I have gone too far to rewrite the entire thing, thank you very much. And which characters are OOC? Definitely none of my OC's, since this is the second appearance of two of them, and the about eighth of the other.
3833954
thank you.
3833992 I agree with you are too far to rewrite the story. Plus you are doing a great job right now.
3833992 some people don't know a good story when they see one.
3833962 I'm not trying to educate people on Dead Space, have you seen me try to explain a storyline to someone? Not capable of it. So I sure as hell am not going to try to write something like that. Maybe if I do another one, but not with this one. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get some stuff done.
3834086 I'm not telling you to educate people, I'm telling you to immerse them.
OCs can't be OoC, because you decide how they act. I was talking about the Mane Six.
You are never too far to start re-writing a story.
3834185 did I only just start this? Maybe actually... Whatever! That's beside the point. The point is, I'm not going to unpublish this and completely rewrite it because one person has a bad opinion about my writing style. I have the entire plot planned out, and am not about to do this all over again. Like I said, maybe I'll do this in another story, but not this one
3834313 hey dude are you ok?
seems like your getting really pissed at tunalock.