I feel it whenever I see her. Whenever I look into her emerald eyes. I've never felt this way about anypony before. I can't explain it... Am I falling in love?
Barely active anymore. Feel free to read my plethora of stories though. I’ll reply to any PMs I receive
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Apple bucking, eh?
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120430002743/dragonball/images/5/50/If-you-know-what-i-mean.png
4485618 I should smack you
This is a really good piece of writin' right here! If a bit fast paced, but heck, I can easily forgive that.
Also, what's with the 'sad' tag? I don't see anything particularly sad here.
Anyway, keep it up!
4486440 how Dash was feeling, being in love with AJ but having no clue why she felt that way and all the confusion and depression it caused her. I know how that feels and I can say it is definitely not a happy place to be.
Short and sweet.
I would say that is all a one-shot needs, but there needs to be phasing as well. Witch there was, but way to fast.
For what it is i'll give it a nice 8/10 Not perfect but very well done.
~Tobben
4486796 yeah, as I said in the blog post right before I published this, I'll need to make some revisions later, but this is all for now.
4485918 nu
gooby pls
4486873 imma do it! *rears hand back*
4486530
Hmm...
I suppose. I've been in that position, It hurts.
Okay, rereading it, I do see some depression in there. Just a little thing, but you could make it clearer how she is feeling if you go into detail in her thoughts, like in the beginning.
Just a suggestion, but it could go something like this:
Whenever I look at her, I can feel my heart aching. It burns, and I don't know why. But whenever we talk or whenever I look into her emerald eyes... I can just feel it in my chest. The heartache welling up inside me. Pain and confusion clouding my mind. I've never had this feeling towards anyone before. I can't explain it, I can't even try. But I think it might be... love? Is that what I'm feeling? Am I in love with her, my best friend who I've known since we were kids?
Now, I'm no 'professional' writer, heck, I'm an amature and this is only a suggestion of what I think might work better.
Don't take this the wrong way - I love the story. You don't have to do anything to it, it's brilliant the way it is, I'm just trying to help.
4486920 I just might add that bit... Thank you!
Dang I loved this story.
God dammit why'd have to make this so damn cute!?!?
4487409
4487415
You are both perfect.
4487448
Why thank you. (Even when I said I liked RariDash?)
4487455 *eye twitch* Stop reminding me.
4487470
Err, okay.
I love AppleDash! (Which is 100% true)
4487482
4487495
Hi... Heh.
4486882 rears.
huehuehuehuehue
4487586 *sigh*
4487597
cdn.alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/large/troll-i-lied-light-l.png
4487527 You're bad and you should feel bad.
4487022 No problem, glad I could help!
Every damn time I read a cute story, my cousin makes me say D'aw!
Great story , I'm wondering why he sad tag though?
4494875 4486530 there ya go
Love it. It's short, simple and to the point. The feelings are there and it makes me feel it too.
This goes to favs, right now.
Mother of god 33/7!!! This is what happens when I don't monitor a story for a week.
43/8?! Was this featured and I just never knew about it? Because this is doing really well for a one shot, let alone one of mine.
Too short, too much cuteness packed into a few seconds, not good for my heart. I think i'm dying.
4888589 'twas my intention.
So cuteee.
Love it!!
Real RD would just grab AJ and take her to RD-Skyhouse)
6006078 oh dear god XD
AMAZING! GOOD JOB THE RAINBOW DASH WOULD APPROVE!
Nice