Luna "11" 11
Luna closed the metal doors behind her, she was once again in the throne room. "Ok," Luna thought to herself "We must find a way to get to the top of the castle."
She sat down so she could think of a plan, "We could always fly up, no that would be to obvious; if Sombra made it that easy we are sure that the civilians would have flew up already and stolen some of the kings treasures."
Luna looked around the room, all of the doors looked the exact same. "It seems we will just have to check every door in the castle," She said out loud with a moan. Luna got up and started to walk over to the hall so she could begin her search, but just as she took her first step, the ground began to shake.
"What in Equestria!" Yelped Luna. She looked behind her and saw that a hole was forming in the middle of the room. "Somepony must be coming out of there!" Said Luna.
She looked around desperately for a place she could hide, the only thing remotely hide-able that was close to her was a table that had a few scrolls on top of it. Knowing it was the only thing she could do Luna ran over and squeezed under the table.
The hole in the throne room kept getting bigger and bigger until finally the ground stopped shaking and the hole stopped growing, then there was a flash of green and King Sombra stood at the top of stairs, that Luna guessed lead down into the hole. "hmm, we think that shall be the first place we check." Thought Luna.
Sombra looked around for a few seconds as if he were checking if anypony was there, then he shot a beam of dark magic onto the crystal on top of the throne like he had when bringing Luna and Discord into the cellars. The hole started to close again and Sombra walked out into the hall. Luna held her breath and closed her eyes while he passed, hoping not to get caught. Luckily he seemed to be in a bit of a hurry and didn't stop to look around the place.
Luna opened one eye and when she saw that he was gone she stepped out from under the table. "Right, back to the mission at hoof." Said Luna.
She trotted back into the throne room and looked at the crystal on the throne, she knew that the only way she would be able to open the hole again was if she cast dark magic. "Alright Luna, thy can do this." she muttered.
Luna closed her eyes and started to summon all of her greatest fears and angers into her head, they flew around her mind, making it harder to contain her magic by the second. She thought about bullies, failing tests, nightmares and any other thing that made her cower a little in fear, then she thought of a haunting image that made her yelp, it was the thought that her parents might be chained up in this castle somewhere, continuously getting whipped by guards and spat on.
She couldn't contain it any longer; Luna opened her eyes and they shone a light shade of green, a large beam of dark magic shot from her horn and smashed into the crystal. Luna put her hoof to her head and rubbed it, it was quite painful casting the spell and she hoped that she wouldn't have to do it again.
The ground started to shake again as the hole started to form behind her. Luna turned around waited for it to grow to its full size.
Once the ground had stopped moving Luna walked over and looked into the hole, it was pitch black and seemed to go on forever. She looked over at the steps, but then shook her head deciding it would probably be quicker to fly down.
Luna took a deep breath and jumped into the hole, she fell for a few second and then she started to flap her wings. She hovered in the same spot, looking around. She couldn't see anything at all. She really wished that she could cast normal magic, then she would be able to light the place up with her horn.
Luna started to fly straight down as slowly as possible, hoping she would spot the ground and not bash into it. She continued to fly downwards for about 5 minutes. "Oh for Equestria's sake!" muttered Luna. "We feel like this is a wild goose chase. How do we even know that this hole has a bottom?"
Luna started to fly down the hole as fast as she could, her face was being blown back and the wind was shooting through her mane. Luna squinted her eyes, she could see something below..... could it be..THE GROU-
Luna smashed straight into the floor. There was a loud crunch as she cracked some of the hard crystal. Luna slowly sat up, her face had a terribly sore tingling feeling through it, she took a deep breath, then she let out a loud scream, "AHHHHHH WE ARE SICK OF THIS CASTLE AND ITS INFERNAL SECRET PASSAGES!!"
Luna looked around, growling and muttering under her breath, there seemed to be nothing at the end of this silly tunnel. She turned her body around and looked at the other side of the hole. There was a door at that side, Luna stood up and walked over to the door, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself down. But when she opened her eyes again the door was gone.
"WHAT!" Shouted Luna. She turned around and spotted the door at the other end of the hole. Luna walked over to it, trying not to blink encase it moved. But then as soon as she reached her hoof out to open the door it shot to the other end of the tunnel again.
Luna growled, starting to get agitated; she really was not in the mood for messing about with a door. She ran as fast as she could over to the door and took a leap straight at the door, but it shot away again and she bashed into the wall.
Luna slid down the wall onto the ground, she lay there for a second and then picked herself up off the floor and turned around slowly to the door, "Oh, so that is how thy is going to play this? Is it not?" Luna gritted her teeth and then screamed, "WELL THEN TAKE THIS YOU FIEND!"
Luna's horn lit a dark shade of green and she shoot a mighty blast of dark magic at the door. There was a huge explosion, Luna put her hooves over her head and closed her eyes, having no idea what she could have done.
When she opened her eyes there was a light in front of her. "Huh?" Thought Luna, "Have we killed our self in the explosion?" Luna started to walk towards the light, not knowing what to expect. Having no idea she had been captured in a trance by the door...
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All in all I'm on the edge of my seat for Luna, but there was one thing that caught my eye... I don't want to call it a mistake, but... it is a mistake... but an easy one to make... Anyway, this paragraph...
When Luna is giving herself the pep talk she say's "Thy" which is actually the classical form of "your" basically making Luna say, "Alright Luna, your can do this." I think you might have being going for "thou" which is "you"
So really just a plain old fashioned typo... very old fashioned... but other than that I didn't see anything else. Have fun with exams!
4328714 thanks
Yea, I kinda suck at Victorian English. I don't even write it fully. I just occasionally stick a thou and thy in.
I'll change that now
4328714
spoiler below!
also just because it may not be a while for the next chapter I will tell you one thing, The next chapter is going to be associated with one of the reasons Luna turns into nightmare moon
4328725 You are quite welcome.
4328730 Actually... um... I kind of... already figured that out. I'm a huge fan of mysteries(Specifically Sherlock Holmes and some of the newer crime shows on TV like Bones, Psyche, and Criminal Minds.) as such I have developed a bit of a knack for guessing the murderer, or deducing a future part of a plot line long before it is revealed.
Sorry if I ruined the big reveal for you...
4328822 it's fine, I knewthat some people would have already guessed.
Hehe, but you don't know the rest of the story
4329057 No I don't... for now it is locked safely within your head... or wherever humans are keeping their brains these days.
4329872 i don't like to write my ideas down, I just plan the chapter in my head and then start typing
4331596 Heh, I would distract myself if I tried to keep all my ideas in my head. I never put down perfect details, but rough ideas have several word documents for their respective stories to keep me from the bad kind of insanity and Mary Sue... also plot holes and inconsistencies.