• Member Since 25th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 7th, 2018


Who let in all the goddamn memes?


The youth of Celestia and Luna was a very long time ago, you would never have guessed that they grew up with Discord!
But sadly Celestia did something that ruined their friendship, and turned Discord into the Chaos causing monster he is today!

My first fanfiction, please tell me how it is :)

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 85 )

1: New speaker? NEW LINE! Never break this rule, EVER! 2: Always capitalize! If your unsure where to capitalize it's not that hard to look up. 3: Only use the word "and" conscientiously and if it seems like your using it to often then you have a run-on sentence and no one likes run-ons and so no one will read your work. 4: Grammar. Just... GRAMMAR. 5: Get someone to proofread your work before you let everyone see it.

It has potential but you have to put more effort into it. Great first attempt though! Here have a Pinkie :3 :pinkiesmile:


P.S. Also capitalize ALL words in your title unless it is a conjunction (and, but, or, the[unless it starts the title!])

Thx I never really was good with grammar :unsuresweetie: if you know anyone I could get to check my work please tell me!

I think I've improved a bit since my last chapter :twilightsheepish: I hope I have i love the story I've made I just don't wanna ruin it

This is good! Grammar could use some improvement, but otherwise great! :moustache:

i was wondering do any of you know an editor i can send my work to so it can be checked before i post it,if so please tell me! :scootangel:

Daw factor increased by a figure of 14%
If reaches more than 35% will reach critical levels.
If exceeds more than 70% Casualties will begin.
!00% signals Dawpocalypse.....

Fun little story there. Totally worth the follow :pinkiehappy:

Thx :heart:
I love writing fics and it's comments like yours that make it worth while :twilightsmile:

UHG! I know the pain with exams. It's not fun...

3574093 lol thx, I never was good with the thou and thys. I will change that now :twilightsheepish:

3579281 Week of reviewing. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!:fluttershbad:

Sorry, it's been about a week since I have written a chapter! :raritydespair: I have had a lot of revision! Anyhow the next chapter SHOULD be a good one and I hope to have it up soon!:twilightsheepish:

Everyone who is waiting for the next chapter I would like you to know I have continued working on it again, I'm sorry but I had to take 2 weeks off to revise for my exams. I'm doing them this week so I won't have as much time to work on this but I promise any spare time I have i will use writing this to make up for making you wait. :scootangel:

I finaly read the first chap and althought the few errors it is pretty cool.
I could help you of you want to?

3836032 that would be cool, I haven't posted a chapter in a long time because my editor isn't replying so I don't think he wants to do it anymore, and I only sent him one chapter!

3836032 that would be great! Do you mean like an editor or something?

That. Cover art. Is. Beautiful!:pinkiehappy:

Yep, like and editor. I know that I´m not the best choice, but even I can see the obvious mistakes or have a basic idea of how to make a story more smooth.

3847766 yea it's very hard to edit your own story. I did change the first chapter a small bit today.

Good chap! It gave me a weird fuzzy feeling though.

One tip, when there is a sentence describing a random or funny thing you shoudn't in, my opinion, put an exclamation Mark at the end, it makes it to the point that it feeds like it is being narrated rather then read.:moustache:

Other than that it's a really cute little chapter!:pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss:

Ah I know what that feeling is! It's the feeling of the d'aww factor being turned up to eleven!:derpytongue2:

3858738 lol thanks :pinkiehappy:

Do you think you can tell me what part has the exclamation part?

This was a really cute first chapter. I really wanna read the rest!

Nice. I like your take on the young characters, have you considered adding it to the "When They Were Young" - verse group? Work on your grammar and please carry on?


I've offered to edit this story.:scootangel:
I should get some time to do so today...

3971216 I'm glad you like it. :twilightsmile: I'm going to continue probably next week, I have just taken a break to work on my writing skills.

I am very much so enjoying the story. It's very interesting and I'm looking forward to seeing more.

3971438 Anytime bro (sis?)
Though there's one thing that bothers me: the fact that I know something is going to go wrong with Discord and Tia

3971487 yea, I wish it didn't have to happen.

Finally finished reading it! In case you ever need a proofreader or editor in the future (since I think you already have one or two editors), just shoot me a PM!
I loved the story so far, though a couple of grammar errors does deter its overall fluidity.
I await your next chapters!

3978735 thanks, yes the story hasn't got the best grammar, but now I am taking some time that I should be writing to go over the chapters that are published.

Mkay. There were a lot of grammar errors, and some uncompleted sentences but it was good for a first tic.

3542227 go to the group School For New Writers. Add in your story and they can help you out

3995149 No problem, it was well deserved for the work you put in this, it went from D'awww! to Awwww what?, but that good, it make people want to stay and read it. and i.imgur.com/13TEPqi.jpg

Oh my god, this chapter is so bad :pinkiesad2:
I definitely am going to edit bits of it tomorrow. :twilightoops:

Basketball, anime, MLP, AND Essays... What Fun!

4145035 don't worry, more is on the way :pinkiehappy:

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