In the beginning "1" 1
In the quiet of the equestrian night, one could stare off beyond the horizon, basking in the twinkle of the jeweled sky. One would be hard pressed to find a landscape more saturated with relaxation.
As with all beautiful things, it was brought to an end by the thunderous clash of metal doors being thrown to the walls. The cause of this noise was merely an alicorn filly, with a snow white coat and a flowing pink mane.
"Drat!" Whispered Celestia. She was trying to be as silent as possible for she was not meant to be out so late. To tell the truth she wasn't really meant to be out at any time without supervision. But she didn't care, tonight was the night were she would be not a princess but just a normal filly.
She wanted to go out and play without having to learn anything or have to be extra careful not to get her hooves dirty! And with her parents so distracted with her new little baby sister this was the perfect time to sneak out for a bit!
The palace gardens where beautiful, they were her favourite place in the world, she began to run around the place, looking at the beautiful scenery. There was one flower in particular she liked. She ran over to another part of the garden to go see it, when she got to it she smiled, It was a beautiful golden rose that only bloomed in summer. Her mother had said it was a special rose that represented the ruler of the sun.
Celestia was busy admiring the rose when suddenly she heard some giggling coming from a bush behind her, "a giggling bush, how odd" thought Celestia. She went over to investigate.
As Celestia advanced towards the bush she saw something move inside it, the giggling had stopped but the bush had started to rustle like mad. She couldn't see what was in it so she leaned down to get a closer look, as soon as she leaned down a small furry creature jumped out and roared at her! " AAHHHHH!" Screamed Celestia, she tripped over and fell down a hill.
The creature followed laughing. " are you ok?" It asked still laughing its head off. Celestia looked at the creature, she was able to see what it looked like now. It was very strange looking indeed! It looked like somepony had gotten lots of different animal parts and stuck them all together.
"What in all of Equestria are you?" Celestia asked brushing the dirt out of her hair.
"Well... to be honest, I don't actually know!" Replied the creature.
"Well" said Celestia finally satisfied with her mane, "what's your name?"
" I'm Discord!" Said the creature proudly.
Celestia looked at the creature with a confused look on her face, "I haven't seen you before, where do you live?"
"well....I haven't really got a home." Said Discord
Celestia looked at him, she was confused, "Don't you live with your parents?"
Discord didn't reply, instead he looked down at the ground. Celestia stared at him for a few moment still expecting him to answer, when he didn't she leaned closer to him, "Haven't you got any parents?"
Discord sighed and looked up at her, "No, I haven't"
"No parents?" Yelled Celestia "but how is that possible?".
"I dunno" said Discord shrugging his shoulders " I remember hearing a voice telling I have a purpose in this world to fulfil, whatever that means then next thing I know I'm lying in a forest somewhere left to fend for myself. So I walked for a while until I came across this village, I saw this garden and knew I would be the perfect place to hide until I had a plan of where to go."
"Wow" said Celestia, "I just can't believe you haven't got any parents, I wouldn't be able to survive without mine."
"Well I just get on with life". Said Discord getting bored with being so serious, "anyhow wanna play together?" As Discord said this a glass of chocolate milk appeared in his hand.
" you're magic?" Asked Celestia, "How is that possible, I thought only alicorns and unicorns could do magic."
"I dunno", said Discord, I've just always been able to do it".
"Cool, I'm magic too!" said Celestia.
"Soo...wanna play a game or not?" Said Discord flying in circles.
"What would we play?" Asked Celestia,
"How about...pin the tail on the pony?" Said Discord grinning.
Celestia was confused for a few moments, then she looked behind her and gasped seeing her tail was gone, and Discord was holding it in his paw smirking.
"Hey!!!" Yelled Celestia.
"Oh don't panic" said Discord clicking his talons and making her tail appear back on her rear end.
" I'm not sure if I want to play anymore..." Grumbled Celestia.
"Oh lighten up", said Discord "how about...tag!"
"Tag?" Said Celestia "I have heard of it but never played before"
So you know the rules then?" Said Discord
"Well sort- "
"TAG YOUR IT" yelled Discord running away laughing!
"Wait, what?" said Celestia. After a few seconds she got it "oh, I get it now! " she yelled chasing him.
xxxxxxxxxxx
After about an hour of playing suddenly Celestia heard her mum yelling.
" oh no I'd better go" she said.
"Wait" yelled Discord running after her. "Can we meet again tomorrow night?"
"Sure" said Celestia.
"Promise?"
"Promise".
She was about to leave again when suddenly Discord shouted 'I never got your name!'
'It's Princess Celestia.'
And with that Celestia flew off to meet her raging mum.
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1: New speaker? NEW LINE! Never break this rule, EVER! 2: Always capitalize! If your unsure where to capitalize it's not that hard to look up. 3: Only use the word "and" conscientiously and if it seems like your using it to often then you have a run-on sentence and no one likes run-ons and so no one will read your work. 4: Grammar. Just... GRAMMAR. 5: Get someone to proofread your work before you let everyone see it.
It has potential but you have to put more effort into it. Great first attempt though! Here have a Pinkie :3
P.S. Also capitalize ALL words in your title unless it is a conjunction (and, but, or, the[unless it starts the title!])
Thx I never really was good with grammar
if you know anyone I could get to check my work please tell me!
3542227
I finaly read the first chap and althought the few errors it is pretty cool.
I could help you of you want to?
3836032 that would be great! Do you mean like an editor or something?
This was a really cute first chapter. I really wanna read the rest!
Mkay. There were a lot of grammar errors, and some uncompleted sentences but it was good for a first tic.
3542227 go to the group School For New Writers. Add in your story and they can help you out
Cute, and not bad for a first fic. Although like others before me have said, watch your grammar.