• Member Since 5th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen 36 minutes ago

yodajax10



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I'm honestly quite surprised no one did this kind of story yet. But I guess 'll take my shot at it.

When Twilight becomes a princess, Spike starts to worry about the future and feels his relationship with Twilight will drift away.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 16 )

Aw..:fluttercry::pinkiesad2: Tears of both sadness and joy my friend. That picture at the end. :heart::heart::heart::pinkiehappy::twilightblush::scootangel:

Despite using a fresh concept you rushed through this and the whole Twilight is immortal has been disproven. Sorry but this story was just another cheap attempt at producing tears courtesy of Alicorn Twilight. :eeyup:

Feel free to rewrite this and make it better. Maybe make it a multi parter. Then we'll see just how good this could be. :trixieshiftright:

(Sorry for the harsh criticism but what I've said is true.) :ajsleepy:

:applejackunsure: Meh. Not exactly the most creative piece on FiMFiction. I'd say the scenes that are not directly pulled from the show take place in about two or three minutes total, and are not very original. Any potential conflict this could have had is resolved instantly before they can even become an issue. That does't make for a compelling story, and it's not something most people want to read, regardless of what they say in the comments. Even the worst stories have people who compliment them.

Needs more work on punctuation, on top of what others have said. And one of the writers said on twitter that Twilight isn't immortal, for whatever that's worth.

This story was so touching.:fluttershysad::pinkiesad2::twilightsmile:

I think that somepony left a bowl of feels on this story. :applecry: this was touching :heart::heart::heart:

Aw, man. Don't tell me you got suckered into that whole Twilight immortality nonsense. Do you know how many bronies took that seriously? ...Or did you just want to write this story? Forgive me, but fanfiction has been known to be taken seriously. For one, it was never stated directly that any alicorn is immortal. Still, nice story anyway. :raritywink:

3196858 Black Kyurem came down far less hard for that.

3297163 Sorry but the whole Twilight is Immortal because she's an Alicorn is a very cliched trope by this point and Meghan has stated that "Twilight will not outlive her friends". It's become an idea that like Fluttermac has been done to death and rarely gets any sort of fresh take.

3297955 Yeah, Black Kyurem knows that the whole immortality thing was merely made up by bronies and was never stated at any point in the show. Ah, so that shipping is as persistent as Scootaloo chicken, is it? It never ends... What to do, what to do...

Even if twilight is immortal I don't think the show would ever get to the point were the characters die of age so I dont think it really matters :ajsmug:

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