• Member Since 17th Feb, 2024
  • offline last seen 34 minutes ago

Inkquilly


She/Her I Jus wanna write and draw :> and make sure to feel free to comment on my work! I wanna get better!

E

Twilight Sparkle knew she was a smart filly. She was in the School of Magic after all, Celestia’s personal student even. She had a great family and baby sitter too. So why did she have to be so stupid and end up throwing it to burn.

Now all she had was Spike, she was alone, and somewhere unfamiliar.
(Inspired by Leave it All Behind)

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 55 )

A promising start! I'll be keeping an eye on this one.

11847261
I thank ya’ dearly!

This seems REALLY interesting... but did Twilight actually kill others?

I cant wait for more its cute, slightly dark, and it has a lot of promise

Can't wait for more

Biggest thing that is surprisingly small that pulled me from the story is Twilight having a beard. Why? I thought it an odd detail for the cover image, but addressing it as normal in the story really threw me.

11850630
Just a thing from medieval unicorns I saw. Some of ‘em will have beards :>

Neat.

I wonder if Celestia is doing the search pattern on purpose (knowing that the rest of the elements of harmony are in ponyville).

I can imagene Twilight's magic growing more Esoteric and occult like, without the teaching of standardized schooling.

How likely does anyone think Shining armor strangling Twilight before giving her a hug and telling her how he, and their family thought they lost her for good is?

Where can I read Leave it All Behind?

Comment posted by Sudrian Engineer deleted March 15th

Twilight, put her hands over her mouth

Is this story human, Anthro, or is this a mistake? It was jarring enough to knock me out of the story.

11850766
Mistake! Thanks for catching it!

This is a REALLY good story, and I am enjoying it a lot!

Wait she has a beard so is a bearded unicorn filly?

11855760
they way i draw unicorns some of 'em just have beards, Twilight's is short cuz she wants to grow it :>

“Can I touch your beard?”

Really important question!

Does Celestia have a luxurious and millennial long beard?

Comment posted by Sudrian Engineer deleted March 24th

This is really good, and it is funny that Shining and Cadence just missed Twi!

Looks like she has met all five so far though, so I am excited to see where things go next!

Sorry about my comments on other chapters, I deleted them.

Twilight found herself caught herself in a tight hug she

That second of herself is unnecessary.


I'm loving these scenes featuring Shining and Cadence.

11858831
Thanks for the heads up!

Also glad! I like writing ‘em!

Rarity stared in horror at the unconscious filly in her arms.

forelegs

Twilight looked disturbed that Rainbow that she just blew up.

Twilight looked perturbed that Rainbow had said that she just blew up.


I laughed at the scenes of Applejack and Rainbow crying. Was this chapter a partial reference to 'The ticket master' chapter?

11865022
Thanks for the corrections! Also, unintentionally I suppose they are! Glad you found them comedic as I was worried if I did it right!

"Wow, my sister has a cutie mark just like that! What a funny coincidence!" - Shining, possibly

11865046
like I said, he's not the brightest crayon in the knife shed.
also I like to think when Cadance and Shining are together they can be adorably dumb despite their intelligence

Since she didn’t have school today Rarity was indulging in her most favorite pastime, dressmaking. Currently she is trying to put together something for Twilight.

“SHE BLEW UP! SHE BLEW UP AND IT’S ALL MY FAAUUULT-” Rainbow Dash continued to definitely not cry and wail on about Twilight “exploding”.

I though Granny Smith was the only one who knew her real name. Is this a mistake or intentional?

11865089
When writing outside of dialogue I use twilight’s real name, only Granny Smith knows her real name.

11865046
In his defense, he didn't have much reason to examine her cutie mark. To him she was just the cute but obviously not Twilight colored filly spending time with her brother.

I love the story's beginning! Promising start!

11879729
Thankya! Glad ya like it!

I love the direction this story is going in! Honestly, this is making me consider rewriting the original. I've been considering it for a while, but this has really turned me over.

Don’t think I’ll keep reading. The TwiJack kind of came out of nowhere and the fact that Twilight killed millions of students (foals her age and above) by a... grilled cheese sandwich that turned into a glob of ooze dissolving everything in it’s path just doesn’t sit right with me. There’s no need for her to have killed ponies for a "running away" fic since that kind of stuff warrants jail time.

I’ll give this a PRETTY BAD, but don’t give me much thought.

11879768
Oh my gosh, that'd be amazing! Glad you like the direction as well, wasn't very sure for a bit!

11879835
Aye, sorry I couldn't make somethin' ya liked!

11879905
No need to apologise, me having different tastes isn’t your fault.

“Oh you’ll absolutely love her Twilight, Mrs. Smith is just the most delightful pony you’ll meet! Sure she might be a little kooky but every time I’ve left Sweetie with her I’ve been told there was nothing but joy!” Rarity said with praise, however Twilight had begun to look antsy. The path they were taking to this “Granny Smith”’s place was the path she had just ran out of.

Wait hold on. Twilight? Didn't she say her name was Sparkling Cider?

This gets more and more interesting by the chapter!

Though, them being in the forrest, and the others now coming in too, is very interesting...

Are we going to get an earlier element assignment too?

11892686
Maybe, likely won’t happen too soon though.

This is getting better and better!

“If she goes back we’ll have peace of mind, but people will still want just punishment. A-And I know that she got people hurt, but I know Twily! I-I know that however it happened that she didn’t mean it! …I dunno. Uh, sorry. Y-Your just a filly and I shouldn’t have dumped all that on to you. Just forget the second part, just know that…I love my little sister no matter what.”

This brings up a question though... just how much damage did she do, and how many were hurt?

Ok so let me get this straight; Twilight caused an accident at the school due to a spell gone wrong and basically destroyed the school and killed tens or even hundreds of ponies and then takes spike with her and go on the run to Ponyville where she comes across AppleJack and then comes across Rarity?


So far my only quastion is what is up with the story cover? Is that what Twilight currently looks like or what she will look like later in the story?

11904356
What she looks like currently

“I would like to make the first point for the search to be innn…..” Her hoof hovered over Ponyville. Then moved all the way to Manehatten.

“Here.”

So close.

Twilight wasn’t sure how long she sat in that tub. But man those bubbles felt great. It also helped her decide. The princess was a smart pony, so she would definitely check Ponyville next.

“Perhaps next I should send them to Cloudsdale…Twilight has always been interested in learning about pegasi, perhaps she tried to run there?”

Twilight gives to much credit to Celestia.

But Celestia is acting kinda dumb, isn't Ponyville the closest settlement to Canterlot? That would be the first place I would look for.

"It's you!" Applejack's face lit up as she pointed at Twilight.

It's her! :trollestia:



So they don't know Twilight was the cause of the accident and due to her disappearance, there guesses would either be she's dead or she was kidnapped, if they thought the second option than they would probably think that the school getting destroyed was only a distraction and kidnapped Twilight to hold for ransom against Princess Celestia.

Unless there's a 3rd guess that they have, but I don't know where they would jump to the conclusion that Twilight just ran away especially since they don't even think Twilight caused the damage so there would be no reason to run away.

11904359
She looks like a mix between an Ursa Major/minor and a Unicorn.

She actually looks really cool, could be cooler if she was more cleaned up.

“Golden Oak Library.”

Library.

Spike let out a little groan of exasperation and shoved his face into the back of Twilight’s neck as she began to bounce in place.

“eeeEEEEEEE-”

Curious if someone already lives in the library or not.

Shining Armor wasn’t the brightest knife in the crayon shed, but he was smart enough to put together a few things about Twilight’s situation. One, she probably caused the accident. Two, she ran out of fear and took Spike with her. Three, they could be anywhere in Equestria now, and were alone and terrified. He ran a hoof through his frazzled mane as he considered the possibilities of where Twilight and Spike could be, there was the chance they didn’t even have food or shelter. Even worse, there was gonna be rain scheduled tonight!

Now where the heck did he get to that conclusion? He's completely right about one and two and half right about three since there not exactly "alone" but they are terrified, terrified of getting caught and getting banished or placed in a dungeon.


Will the image be updated in the Author's notes?

“...Really?”

The image below this paragraph needs to be updated.


What is up with the images needing to be updated? I don't think I ever saw images needing to be updated in a story that's not even 2 months old.

Usually it's stories that are over 5+ years old or even 10 years.

Shining Armor stroked his beard in boredom. His girlfriend had stopped her cute reactions to being on a common train, so now he had nothing else to do but wait until they reached the station, which luckily was coming up just now.

What is up with everyone having beards.

“Oh look! A Library! Twilight’s sure to be in there!”

Warmer.

“Ah, um…d-don’t go anywhere! I’ll be right back!”

Wow really? As if she could go anywhere she wanted while being unconscious, even if she did gain consciousness again she wouldn't have head what Rarity had just said!

“DO YOU HAVE ANY BOOKS ON NON-DRAMATICALLY FAINTED PONIES?!”

Cadance screamed, and instinctually teleported her fake mustache back on her face.

Ok that was funny.

“If ya’ didn’t wan’ ‘im to touch ya’ ya’ coulda said sumthin’.”

Yes.... That's totally the reason...


Also the coat and mane color isn't permanent, right?

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