A Letter
Celestia walked into her room with a sigh, glad that the day was finally over, because she could finally relax and allow her sister to take over. There hadn’t been many problems as of late, and the only real thing to note was the fact that one of her Royal Guards had gone missing. Well, not really missing, as they knew where he had gone to. More accurately, he had left a note saying he was leaving for another country, as some problems had popped up in his life, and had stated that he was resigning in the letter. Highly unusual, yes, but the Princess had seen it happen before and just shrugged it off.
Other than that, the only other things to note were that the diplomatic negotiations with Gryphus, a country ruled by the Gryphon, had gone south. They claimed that Equestria was placing unfair taxes on the goods they transported here. Celestia, on the other hoof, knew that was a load of horseapples. They just wanted to get more money out of her little ponies. She hated diplomatic work and was glad to hand the awful task of negotiation over to her sister for the night, and just leave it at that.
After spending a few seconds relaxing, she happened to notice a note sitting on the table next to her bed. She wasn’t expecting a letter from Twilight. Even if she was, it would have appeared in a puff of green smoke right in front of her. Curious, she walked over to the table to examine it further. It only took her about two seconds of scanning to realize that it was a love letter. True, she was sent a couple of love letters every now and then by stallions, and even once or twice by mares, but they always arrived along with the rest of the mail. How did this get here without anyone informing her? Deciding that the most likely way to find out was to read it in depth, she proceeded to read the letter thoroughly.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Princess, there is something I have been meaning to say to you for a long time, and since I can’t seem to work up the courage to say it in pony, then I have decided that I shall do so in letter. I know this is probably wrong and outright crazy to say, but I love you. Now, I know you probably think I am crazy, that I have problems, or maybe you even outright despise me for writing this, but please know that I am being perfectly honest with you, so allow me to explain myself.
Now, you have probably never even noticed me, as I have never been of great importance, but I have noticed you moving around the castle grounds. To me it seems that you move with a certain grace that defines you in every sense. Your casual trot radiates a sense of power, while your head, held so high, lets those around you know that you are capable of using it to your full advantage. Yet, despite your obvious power, your eyes seem to convey a feeling of compassion and understanding born of many years helping others. Your smile is a thing of beauty, born of genuine joy and love for those around you.
I love the fact that even though you have a nation to rule, you always make time for your individual subjects. You never fail to help them with said problems, and even when you yourself can’t you point them in the right direction for solving the problem themselves. The very idea that you are willing to just spend time helping the common ponies is a testament to your glory. What other leader would make such sacrifices? You can’t, and that just makes my love for you grow stronger.
Is it wrong for me to feel this way? Probably, but that doesn’t make them any less true. Princess, you have inspired me to try and show the same qualities you display to others. I have attempted to be kind and help others, even when it was an inconvenience to me. I have made amends with those for whom I would usually hold grudges against. And best of all, I have become an all-around gentler and more sensitive pony. My love for you, even if you never found out, was the best thing that could ever happen to me. You have made me into a better pony and what more could I ask of you than that?
Recently, you have inspired me to take on my biggest challenge yet. I fell out with my family quite a few years ago, because they never wanted me to move to Equestria and find a job. In the end, we had a huge fight and I stormed off saying I hated them and never wanted to see them again. I greatly regret never making amends for what I said and I wish to right that wrong.
I am fairly confident my feelings are unwanted, so I have decided to hit two birds with one stone, as the saying goes. I am going to leave Equestria and speak once again with my family. Maybe I will be able to come back some day, but I doubt it. Since I am leaving Equestria anyway, I decided the least I could do is at least admit my feelings for you and what they have accomplished in my life. I feel like you deserve to know. I will end this letter on that note, knowing that you will probably never hear from me again, which is probably for the best. I slipped this letter into your room right before leaving behind a note of my resignation from the Royal Guard. I hope you won’t mind. And, if you could, thank Luna for me.
A Lonely Guard
Celestia reread the letter a few times, before finally setting it down. She didn’t know what to make of what she had just read, but she could say that she had learned something, which was a rarity for her. Slowly, she walked out of the room, taking the letter with her. Soon, she was walking along the halls of the palace, heading for the Great Hall, where she and Luna conducted business. When she arrived, she found Luna waiting for her, with an expectant look on her face.
“So, you found the letter?” She asked innocently.
“I-yeah, I did. How did you know? And why does it ask me to thank you?”
Luna chuckled, a merry sound filled with the joy of night. “Because he wouldn’t have gotten it into your room without my help. I found the poor guard trying unsuccessfully to get past the enchantment that blocks your room. He nearly had a heart attack when I found him, though he immediately explained himself. I was glad to help, after reading it myself.” She laughed yet again.
“So you knew about this?” Celestia asked, still trying to process that her personal privacy had been so easily invaded, and also the letter itself.
“Yes, I did. I thought you could learn a thing or two from it.”
“Well, you were right, I did learn a something.”
“Don’t keep it to yourself, enlighten me.”
“Now, I realize that I will never truly understand love, and you know what? I’m perfectly fine with that, as long as good things keep happening because of it.” She said with a smile.
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Aw, that was sweet. Well done sir, bravo!
cute fic, not perfect, but it at least puts Celestia in a nice light. not faverite or track worthy, but it deserves a green thumbs up.
Nice to see another Celestia-centric story that shows her in a good light.
It was... nice.
I'd be very happy to see your name next to another Celestia story.
I really like her... Mane? Good story, sweet. Unlike storiesatandrom though I think it is favorite worthy. To each man his own though.
Wow, this received a much better reception than I thought it would. Thanks everypony!
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in all honesty i thought it was discord that sent the letter
Congrats, BronyMaster. I look forward to reading your future projects.
Really nice story....I expected the admirerer to be Discord, but it was a good twist to make it the guard. Can't wait for some more of your fics!
While I can't understand how others could have thought the author of the letter to be Discord (Seriously dudes, wtf?) when it was obviously the guard, I will say this:
It's a good story. Not good enough to fav, but you have a positive rating from me just on the fact that you have Celestia in a positive light (a frustratingly rare trend in the fandom) and it's very...fluffy and sweet.
In other words...
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486778
Thank you! I've always seen Celestia in a really positive light. I have no idea where everything about her being evil or a troll popped up from.
487688
Alternate character interpretation, and her own slightly prank-happy nature. The tyrant or molest-happy bit...
Yeah, I got nothing. Just more alternate character interpretation.
500003
I'm actually surprised anyone liked this story. I wrote it at like five in the morning while I was half-dead, and every time I go back over it I cringe at the ending in particular.
500031
I once thought about writing a story about Spike's moustach growing a beard.
Very nice.
Why the heck do you not like this story? Apart from your current WIP this is some of the best writing that I've seen from you. There are a few problems here and there, but there's nothing nearly as bad as with your other story that I reviewed.
You mentioned to me that Celestia's characterization was off, and you're right. Both her and Luna suffer from dialogue that sounds more forced and wooden. Remember that your dialogue has to differ from your prose in that you're fleshing out a living, breathing individual, and not a puppet that you're putting on strings. You already know that problem though, and thankfully it's really the only one that I'm seeing here.
I'd like to point out quite possibly my favorite line in this whole thing:
"True, she was sent a couple of love letters every now and then by stallions, and even once or twice by mares, but they always arrived along with the rest of the mail."
At the risk of diverting into ranting territory, if there is one thing that I can't stand about shipping stories, it's the common assumption that ponies have just as much prejudice as some of our cultures do with homosexuality. I've read God knows how many stories with that very theme, two mares or stallions trying to accept the oppressive society that doesn't approve of such a relationship. Having Celestia here acknowledge something like this in such an open-minded manner is exactly how it should be. Equestria is supposed to be a paradise of acceptance and generosity, and such petty things like our resistance against different forms of sexuality should not be expressed in pony fanfiction. That's why I love this line, because you manage to only use a few words to illustrate what makes Equestria so special in the first place.
Let's move on, then!
The actual letter was well done, though if I were to give any form of feedback I would suggest that you try and divert the letter's stylization from that of the prose. I can't tell whether or not you were attempting that in the first place, but if you did, then it needs to be more clear. Have the guard have his own writing style. One of the easiest ways to do that would be to make him poor with words or concise instead of descriptive.
Luna feels especially 'off', though that can be stemmed from the dialogue problems, which I already explained. Otherwise I don't think that I have much else to say... this was a great read, and I think that it would really benefit from an overhaul now that your writing has improved. Thankfully it's a shorter piece, so that shouldn't be as hard to accomplish.
500103
[youtube=7dchiYx5Hzo]
893341
I've already seen that and can I ask why you posted that here?
893347
It's a good story, then i tried pasting a quote i forgot it was a video quite
An interesting story. A few mistakes and errors, like the ending where you forgot, or neglected to keep the reader informed on who was talking. (I hate that!) Also, the sad part about it was the whole time, I'm thinking to myself "Where's the slice of life tag?" Overall, I did like it... but then I didn't as It's just a letter and a lesson. To earn my liking, you need an actual STORY! This was simple, mushy romance. It was good... but then is was unappealing at the same time.
Over all grade: C (%76)
1122605
*Shrugs* I personally don't care. I wrote this back in February, when I had first ever begun writing. I already told you it was bad. Again, *Shrugs*
Interesting. I like it.