Interlude: My Little Immortals
“When in Rome, do as the Romanes do,” the man whispered to himself as he smugly adjusted his tie in one fluid motion. He strolled through the main hall of the Palace he had mysteriously appeared in mere moments ago. Every guard was preoccupied with another, confessing their undying love and creating intimate moments as the man walked. The unicorns touched horns together, the pegasi beat their wings in moments of ecstasy, and the earth ponies were demonstrating their stamina as few stopped to regain their breath.
He was a traveler, one who walked across the crossroads of the universe. Among friends, caped crusaders, and even ponies he spread love. Homosexual love to be precise. Females of all species were vulnerable to his charm, but he held a special place in his heart for love that only males could share. No male to this day could resist his magnificent suit, and those who claimed to do so were quick to change their minds upon his arrival.
This new world was strange, alien even to him. He was used to traveling across worlds that could only spawn from human imagination, but this one took the cake. One of his many friends had suggested they rendezvous here during their vacation. Regardless of the fact that the dominant species appeared to be equines, the man had a job to do.
The Palace was quite extravagant, even for his tastes. Most of the architecture appeared to be made out of crystal rather than marble. As the man strutted toward the crystal throne, he couldn’t help but notice that any monarchy or nobility was surprisingly absent. Strange, must be a rather laid back dimension.
Speaking of dimensions: magic in this world was abundant, most likely tied to the life-force of the planet. Magic was very useful, after all. Watching some of the more creative unicorns in the corner was proof of that. Part of the man was jealous as he observed the display..
“Ah…” the man sighed as he sat down on the throne, eyeing his new castle. “It feels good to be the king.”
Fortunately for the man, his statement was not spawned from hubris. In several civilizations across the multiverse he was hailed as their ruler, sometimes as a god. Other than the more cult-like practices, he rarely interfered in their worship. After all, he had earned it and rightfully deserved his place among their legends and gods.
He reminisced about the good old days, when the greatest homosexuals back home had taught him everything he knew. Then he grew up, became sexy as hell, and surpassed even the greatest of men in homosexuality. And that was without the suit and tie.
“You’ve done good,” the man congratulated himself. It had taken him a grand total of ten minutes (Not his best, but he was feeling a bit off today) to turn the entire castle’s guards gay for each other. “You’ve done good.”
A rip in space/time abruptly appeared before him. The man didn’t bat an eye as a strange blue box popped into existence before the tear repaired itself. It was a blue police box, like the ones in those movies back in the day. Like the ones back home. A small brown pony poked his head outside the blue door, taking in his surroundings before leaving his sanctuary. Hourglass cutie mark, rugged brown mane…
“Tennant!” The man on the throne casually lifted up and strode forward to greet his old friend. The pony whipped his head back to the man, widening his eyes as recognition took hold. The earth pony yelped and leaped into the man’s open arms, embracing him with tender feelings and tears.
“It’s good to see you again!” The man set down the earth pony and kneeled down, eye to eye. “You look… different. New haircut?”
The pony scoffed. “Well golly, I wonder what could possibly be different about me. Maybe I purchased a new tie, bow ties are rather nice. Maybe it was the fact I’m a completely new species never before seen in our dimension!” The excited pony began bouncing in place.
“Ah.” The man rubbed his chin in contemplation. “So that’s how multiuniversal regeneration works. Interesting. Very interesting”
“Yup! It’s Time Turner now, but you can call me Doctor Whooves. Everypony does,” the stallion said with a flip of his hair. “But enough chit chat for now. I have important news!” The Doctor reached into, what can only be explained as the infinite complexity know as Hammar Space, and pulled out a rather large contraption. It looked like a giant PKE meter with several knobs and dials.
“Hey buddy,” the man called out to the distracted stallion, pulling on small levers. “What is that?”
Doctor Whooves noticed the man was pointing at his thingy-ma-what’sit. “Oh, this is my Hiney Whiney Detector™ . It goes boop when there’s stuff.”
“What kind of stuff?”
The stallion grinned. “Homosexual stuff. What else?”
The man returned the smug grin, adjusting his tie as he did so. The stallion briefly swooned before shaking his head to clear his thoughts. Now was not the time to be gay, that could wait for later. A blasphemy, of course, but a necessary one at that.
“We need to hurry,” Doctor Whooves warned. “We haven’t much time. She’s on her way there now.”
The man gasped. “You don’t mean..? Where?!” He groaned as the stallion slowly nodded. There was no way that pink menace could have followed him here! Unless… this was her homeworld. There wasn’t any other possible way! Damn fangirls...
“She's on her way to Ponyville now, to spread her false ‘love.’ “
Cursing under his breath, the man adjusted his tie again. “Damn femme fatale. Shoving her heterosexual agenda down our throats. Doesn’t she understand what true love is?” The stallion nodded in agreement as he handed the gadget to the suited man. The man’s eyes widened as he saw the measurements on display.
“My god… is this what I think it is?” The measurements were off the charts!
“Yes,” the stallion confirmed, a tad excited. “You know what that means!”
“My-.” The human reached his hand down, receiving a pair of sunglasses from the stallion. He put them on without missing a beat. “-god.” He whipped them off dramatically, revealing a smaller pair of sunglasses in their place. The stallion nearly dropped unconscious as blood rushed to his cheeks.
“We found him!” The stallion stomped his hooves in excitement. The man nodded.
“The chosen one.”
The man walked to the police box as the stallion took point, leading him to the control console. The stallion entered several coordinates as the man adjusted his tie once more.
“Well Tennant. Looks like this is going to be Legen-”
“...” The stallion blinked at the man. He waited a few heartbeats before finishing. With a whoosh! the machine disappeared, on it’s way to save homosexuality as a single echo was left in its place.
“-DARY!”
Sorry for the short chapter, but I wanted to foreshadow something. I promise another, longer chapter will be here in awhile. And then the epic finale! Just who is this mysterious pink menace? Surely, Pinkie Pie would never get in the way of true love?! Also, I kind of don't want to be beat to death by a dildo so I decided to play it safe.
Also, for anyone who gets it: a little reward
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ALL HAIL NEIL, KING OF THE HOMOS
I know I have said it before... but my life, is now complete.
Wait, NPH and a gay Doctor Whooves a la David Tennant? Am I reading this correctly?
3216203
Only two of the sexiest men alive? Well yes, I think you read that correctly.
3216199
Damn straight. Wait to you see the finale. You're going to have to change your pants because it's going to be that epic.
3216181
You got that buckin' right.
3189793
HA! Now you can't hurt me!
I see you've gayed it up some, but I still think you can do better. Right now, this story is about as gay as two dudes going down on two other dudes. I think, at a minimum, it needs to be as gay as four dudes going down on eight dudes. That's just my opinion, of course...
Proofreading could still be a little tighter, though.
3216452
I keep trying with the proofreading!!
But keep in mind I can't gay it up too much until it runs into a mature rating. But I guarantee, guarantee that the finale will probably be the gayest thing a T rating will allow.
You have no idea.
3216497
It doesn't need to be explicit to be gay. Just a few options open to you include drag shows, interior decorating, girly drinks, and feather boas. I mean, if you're going to open the carton of sterotypes, don't use that little spoon, use a gigantic ice cream scoop!
3216528
*takes notes*
Oh, I see. Well, alright. I'm building up to the grand finale.
Spoiler: Flash isn't a true homosexual yet
3129721
>Name is anon
>obvious trollpost
0/10
Looks like I won't be beating you with a dildo.
3129721
What do you have against authors using Flash Sentry in their stories? He's as much a legitimate character as the rest of them!
Wait what do you mean I'm completely missing the point?
I
this fic
3129721
If you don't like the fandom accepting gay people, there is one thing you can do: you can leave. Don't let the door hit your bigoted ass on the way out.
Will prince blueblood come by to help flash sentry? It would explain why he doesn't get along with mares to much.
3264768
In my head cannon, Blueblood is actually a closeted homosexual.
3311832
Gay Sombra? Hm....
Someone write a gay fanfiction of him and I will write you a free clop.
3129721
Isn't there some kind of a fandom motto about tolerating people? Admire and accept? Adore and respect? Something like that?
3129721
3311879
On it
3348364
You better PM me the link. This gunn be hilarious.
3129721
look at all those downvotes god damn
3457451
each time somebody uses bronyspeak outside of a story, i lose a little more of my faith in humanity
just fyi
3699832
As a joke, I think it's fine. But if someone's being an ass, why hold back?
At least it's not "anypony" or "everypony" this time.
3699958
If you're going to say 'fuck you' to someone, I think you should at least have the balls to actually say it. Filtering your words through the fantasy dialect of a children's show is immature, to say the least.
3699988
Though to be honest, I don't get why people keep responding to that guy. He probably doesn't even care.
Agreed. In this context, holding back only makes you look foolish.
This story is fucking magnificent.
4061562
Who says what Shining was up to? He might've moved away already with Cadence.
Also, dude, it was just a joke.
This fic is absolutely incredible, I can't stop laughing! That 5th chapter, oh man I just about died.
This is the gayest bucking story I have ever read...AND I LOVE IT! I have lost it so many times while reading this. Just like
. I love this so much.
Write more, damn it!