“When in Rome, do as the Romanes do,” the man whispered to himself as he smugly adjusted his tie in one fluid motion. He strolled through the main hall of the Palace he had mysteriously appeared in mere moments ago. Every guard was preoccupied with another, confessing their undying love and creating intimate moments as the man walked. The unicorns touched horns together, the pegasi beat their wings in moments of ecstasy, and the earth ponies were demonstrating their stamina as few stopped to regain their breath.
He was a traveler, one who walked across the crossroads of the universe. Among friends, caped crusaders, and even ponies he spread love. Homosexual love to be precise. Females of all species were vulnerable to his charm, but he held a special place in his heart for love that only males could share. No male to this day could resist his magnificent suit, and those who claimed to do so were quick to change their minds upon his arrival.
This new world was strange, alien even to him. He was used to traveling across worlds that could only spawn from human imagination, but this one took the cake. One of his many friends had suggested they rendezvous here during their vacation. Regardless of the fact that the dominant species appeared to be equines, the man had a job to do.
The Palace was quite extravagant, even for his tastes. Most of the architecture appeared to be made out of crystal rather than marble. As the man strutted toward the crystal throne, he couldn’t help but notice that any monarchy or nobility was surprisingly absent. Strange, must be a rather laid back dimension.
Speaking of dimensions: magic in this world was abundant, most likely tied to the life-force of the planet. Magic was very useful, after all. Watching some of the more creative unicorns in the corner was proof of that. Part of the man was jealous as he observed the display..
“Ah…” the man sighed as he sat down on the throne, eyeing his new castle. “It feels good to be the king.”
Fortunately for the man, his statement was not spawned from hubris. In several civilizations across the multiverse he was hailed as their ruler, sometimes as a god. Other than the more cult-like practices, he rarely interfered in their worship. After all, he had earned it and rightfully deserved his place among their legends and gods.
He reminisced about the good old days, when the greatest homosexuals back home had taught him everything he knew. Then he grew up, became sexy as hell, and surpassed even the greatest of men in homosexuality. And that was without the suit and tie.
“You’ve done good,” the man congratulated himself. It had taken him a grand total of ten minutes (Not his best, but he was feeling a bit off today) to turn the entire castle’s guards gay for each other. “You’ve done good.”
A rip in space/time abruptly appeared before him. The man didn’t bat an eye as a strange blue box popped into existence before the tear repaired itself. It was a blue police box, like the ones in those movies back in the day. Like the ones back home. A small brown pony poked his head outside the blue door, taking in his surroundings before leaving his sanctuary. Hourglass cutie mark, rugged brown mane…
“Tennant!” The man on the throne casually lifted up and strode forward to greet his old friend. The pony whipped his head back to the man, widening his eyes as recognition took hold. The earth pony yelped and leaped into the man’s open arms, embracing him with tender feelings and tears.
“It’s good to see you again!” The man set down the earth pony and kneeled down, eye to eye. “You look… different. New haircut?”
The pony scoffed. “Well golly, I wonder what could possibly be different about me. Maybe I purchased a new tie, bow ties are rather nice. Maybe it was the fact I’m a completely new species never before seen in our dimension!” The excited pony began bouncing in place.
“Ah.” The man rubbed his chin in contemplation. “So that’s how multiuniversal regeneration works. Interesting. Very interesting”
“Yup! It’s Time Turner now, but you can call me Doctor Whooves. Everypony does,” the stallion said with a flip of his hair. “But enough chit chat for now. I have important news!” The Doctor reached into, what can only be explained as the infinite complexity know as Hammar Space, and pulled out a rather large contraption. It looked like a giant PKE meter with several knobs and dials.
“Hey buddy,” the man called out to the distracted stallion, pulling on small levers. “What is that?”
Doctor Whooves noticed the man was pointing at his thingy-ma-what’sit. “Oh, this is my Hiney Whiney Detector™ . It goes boop when there’s stuff.”
“What kind of stuff?”
The stallion grinned. “Homosexual stuff. What else?”
The man returned the smug grin, adjusting his tie as he did so. The stallion briefly swooned before shaking his head to clear his thoughts. Now was not the time to be gay, that could wait for later. A blasphemy, of course, but a necessary one at that.
“We need to hurry,” Doctor Whooves warned. “We haven’t much time. She’s on her way there now.”
The man gasped. “You don’t mean..? Where?!” He groaned as the stallion slowly nodded. There was no way that pink menace could have followed him here! Unless… this was her homeworld. There wasn’t any other possible way! Damn fangirls...
“She's on her way to Ponyville now, to spread her false ‘love.’ “
Cursing under his breath, the man adjusted his tie again. “Damn femme fatale. Shoving her heterosexual agenda down our throats. Doesn’t she understand what true love is?” The stallion nodded in agreement as he handed the gadget to the suited man. The man’s eyes widened as he saw the measurements on display.
“My god… is this what I think it is?” The measurements were off the charts!
“Yes,” the stallion confirmed, a tad excited. “You know what that means!”
“My-.” The human reached his hand down, receiving a pair of sunglasses from the stallion. He put them on without missing a beat. “-god.” He whipped them off dramatically, revealing a smaller pair of sunglasses in their place. The stallion nearly dropped unconscious as blood rushed to his cheeks.
“We found him!” The stallion stomped his hooves in excitement. The man nodded.
“The chosen one.”
The man walked to the police box as the stallion took point, leading him to the control console. The stallion entered several coordinates as the man adjusted his tie once more.
“Well Tennant. Looks like this is going to be Legen-”
“...” The stallion blinked at the man. He waited a few heartbeats before finishing. With a whoosh! the machine disappeared, on it’s way to save homosexuality as a single echo was left in its place.
“-DARY!”