S3, Ch.5.5
“You’re really banned from telling scary stories?” Vinyl asked, chuckling.
“Laughing it up, radio-head,” Midnight shot back as she looked at the cards in her claw, “I’m only banned from telling children; scaring the pee out of you is still allowed.” Sapphire smacked her with a wing. “Anyway, raise one.”
“Raise one,” Lyra repeated.
“I’d take nightmares over a tornado any day,” Berry said, “See. Is it really true you ran into one on the way up to the Wonderbolt Academy? I overheard some of your guards talking about it.”
Midnight grumbled and a fang poked out. “Yes, and you can probably guess how unhappy it made me. Putting four of the six bearers in mortal danger just for visiting a stunt group is not something I wanted to check off my bucket list.”
“I thought they were an extension of the guard?” Scarlet asked. “See.”
This time Midnight snorted. “Captain Spitfire certainly thinks they are. Oh, she’s got the outfit and the attitude but actual guard training? There wasn’t one dummy or weapon anywhere, just flagged courses and spinning machines and makers know what else that has nothing to do with guard training. I would have put her in her place when shot back how my guard is just some new pet project of the princesses while hers has nearly a millennia of history, but…” She looked over at Sapphire, who shot back a miffed look of her own.
“You can’t just beat up someone for bad-mouthing the guard! Yes, it was Lightning Dust’s fault there was a tornado and Captain Spitfire should have been supervising more instead of signing autographs in her office, but the entire academy is pegasi and most of the guard is still made up of flyers, so there were plenty of people there in case something like that happened.”
“Sounds like Cloudsdale puffing, if you ask me,” Vinyl said. “See.”
“One!” Lyra quickly added, discarding a single card, pulling one from the deck, then allowing her face to break into a wide grin. Internally, everyone groaned.
“I am not defending the Wonderbolts just because I grew up in Cloudsdale!” Sapphire shot back.
“Two,” Spine said loudly, “and you’re both right. Captain Spitfire is a boaster with a head full of hot air but that doesn’t mean giving her a bloody nose will relieve the pressure. Can we get to the part where we all fold since Lyra has a great hoof and get on with the next round?”
“Heeeeey!” Lyra said, pulling her cards close, “no cheating!”
“You kind of always give it away yourself,” Derpy said, pointing at her own face. “One.”
Lyra rolled her eyes and threw in a bit. “Raise one,” she said with a huff.
“Fold,” was Berry’s immediate answer.
“Fold,” Midnight said with a look of disgust at her cards, then gave an apologetic look to Sapphire.
“Fold,” the light blue pegasus echoed, then did the same.
The rest followed suit with their own cards and Lyra grumbled as she took the pot. “Had a Royal Flush, too,” she bemoaned, flopping her own cards down for everyone to see.
“Lyra, you had a straight. There’s three different suits here. Still couldn’t beat it but still,” Berry said.
“Close enough! It’s no fun when you all give up!”
“Then don’t smile like a maniac when you’ve got a good hoof!” Scarlet admonished as she shuffled the cards and served them out.
“Raise one,” Spine said.
“You’re one to talk about maniacs!” Lyra shot back.
“Raise one,” Vinyl said.
“See. What in Equestria happened at the Apple farm last week!?”
“Oh, that,” Scarlet said, a grin spreading across her face. “Just Applejack digging herself another hole. No bunyips this time, thankfully. See.”
“I certainly hope not,” Midnight said, mulling over her cards. She already heard the story (the entire guard knew the next day) and thanked the makers she didn’t have any crazy relatives.
------------------------
Snow Bank woke herself and the others with a large sneeze, sniffled, apologized, took a candy cane out from her pack, popped it onto her mouth like a long, thin cigar, and went back to sleep.
------------------------
“Details, details!” Vinyl begged. “Three!”
“It was just AJ not seeing the forest for the trees,” Scarlet said as she picked up two new cards. “She was so focused on making everything work right she didn’t make sure everyone was enjoying themselves. Turned making apple fritters into an assembly line, had all the mares Granny’s age work on some quilt with machines like a sweat shop, and the foals all had to run some insane marathon.” Her grin turned a bit strained as Derpy picked up two new cards for herself. “It all came crashing down when the barn literally did. Some fruit bats dive-bombed the wagon they were all in and it rammed the barn. No-one was hurt but it was a heck of a mess.”
“Raise one,” Vinyl said, adding a bit to the pot, then turned to Scarlet, “barn,” she finished.
“Funny enough, that’s exactly what they did,” Scarlet said as Lyra saw and Berry folded. “Got the whole family to do one last thing and it was rebuild the barn, in just one afternoon, too. Had a whole song going and everything. Tight said it was like some jokes he heard about rural farmers and how fast they can build come to life. Amazingly everyone left happy afterwards.”
“Maybe we can get them to work on the castle out in the Everfree,” Midnight said with a chuckle, “we’d have it done with some additional wings and walls within a week. Fold.”
Sapphire stayed in while Scarlet, Spine, and Derpy folded.
“So Applejack causes a barn demolition and nearly gets eaten by a timberwolf all in one week? She needs to see Zecora to help get rid of whatever bad juju she’s got,” Berry said.
“Yeah, mare’s got some bad luck lately,” Vinyl said, “speaking of which, show’m!”
Vinyl had three kings and both Sapphire and Lyra had an almost identical hoof of two jacks, an ace, and a queen. Sapphire’s fifth card was a three while Lyra’s was a ten.
“Ah, sweet victory!” the white unicorn crowed as she swept the pile to her side.
“Wait, when did Applejack get attacked by a timberwolf?” Derpy asked.
“We know,” Midnight, Scarlet, and Spine said together.
“Spike got stuck in a hot air balloon, don’t know how, and he and the balloon landed in the Everfree,” Midnight started. “Raise one.”
“See,” Scarlet continued, “It actually landed near the farm so AJ saw it and went to investigate. Three timberwolves were nearby and chased Spike but AJ managed to beat them and give me and the others who followed near heart attacks.”
“You mean when she actually antagonized the wolves or when she dove through that hole with one right on her flank?” Spine asked.
“Yes,” Scarlet said while Derpy saw and Vinyl raised by one.
“Well, that doesn’t sound so bad, all things considered,” Derpy said.
“It gets worse,” Midnight supplied, tossing another bit in, “Spike now has some “dragon code” or whatever he calls it which includes life-debts.”
“Which is not something any dragon has, by the way,” Spine added, throwing in a bit as well.
“And proceeded to drive the Apples crazy,” Scarlet continued. “I really don’t know what got into the little guy because normally he’s so helpful but when he tried to help around the farm he became a walking disaster. It got so bad we all came up with a plan to fake him saving AJ’s life just so he’d stop.”
“Oh, come on,” Berry said as she picked up three cards, “it couldn’t have been that bad.”
“The kitchen was covered, covered, in raw pie batter,” Scarlet said, eyes tabled.
“Anyway, so we come up with a plan to fake a timberwolf attack, and it almost works,” Midnight said, also picking up three cards, “until Spike sees through it. Of course, things in Ponyville can’t go smoothly, so those three timberwolves came back. Fun fact, did you know multiple timberwolves can reform into a single, big one? Now we do.”
“For real?” Vinyl asked, raising by one and looking at them over her shades.
“Yep, and while Midnight is yelling “come on!” Spike throws a rock at it. Somehow he nails it right in the back of the throat and starts making it choke,” Scarlet supplied.
“That still does not make sense,” Midnight muttered.
“Then it just collapsed. Didn’t reform afterwards either. Turns out AJ’s leg got caught in all the hub-bub so Spike did actually save her life, freeing him from the debt.”
“Afterwards the two of us had a talk about why life-debts aren’t exactly a good thing,” Spine said.
“And speaking of dragons,” Scarlet said as they all either saw or folded, “why are you sending Shoal to Baltimare?”
“It’s for that delegation Celestia told us she was going to bring to town later this week. Something about how they can tell a nation’s true health or wealth or something like that from how the common pony lives. Also, they don’t get a lot of seafood where they’re from, so it would leave a good impression,” Midnight explained. “The princesses want there to be a big spread and with Shoal’s size she can cover the distance quickly with the whole load in one trip.”
“They’re from Saddle Arabia; fish don’t tend to stay fresh for long out there,” Sapphire said, “and I’m curious to know what you added to the order.”
“Who says I did?” Midnight asked innocently. The knowing look Sapphire gave her, however, cracked the façade. “Some lobster, shrimp, and scallops, nothing too much. I’d like a little something different besides wild game now and again.”
“Please tell me you’re going to wrap those scallops in bacon!” Scarlet asked, her mouth visibly watering.
“That’s the plan, also why I ordered two bags and not one. Oh, stop, I’m not going to get fat on a few bites of scallops and bacon!” Midnight defended when Sapphire gave her another look, “and I’m not eating it all myself anyway!”
“Well, let’s see if your girlfriend can cover the cost! Cards out!” Vinyl said.
Both Vinyl and Berry had two pairs, but Vinyl’s were jacks and tens while Berry’s were nines and eights.
“Mama’s getting a new turntable!” she cackled.
“So, while we’re still in the betting mood, who wants to bet on how south this diplomatic visit goes?” Midnight asked.
Sapphire gently patted Midnight’s whither. “Optimism, please.”
“Fine, I say five bits only ten houses get demolished.”
Sapphire rolled her eyes.
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Midnight you are an expert at digging your own grave.
Cheers! *drinks chocolate milk*
Also, you dropped the e from Spine's name a couple of times Ink. You might want to fix that.
Also, also, how many times is Sapphire going to wing slap Midnight this season? Just curious.
Also x3, does Sapphire actually remember that they live in Ponyville?
At this point Midnight considers it foreplay. She knows it's serious when Sapphire uses a hoof.
Doesn't stop her from being an optimist
You'd think she'd have a ton of gems by now, seeing as the dirt in Equestria is full of them (sited source: Bats! episode when Pinkie drills away)
11102243
Fixed
11102301
Fair enough.
True enough.
I know, right?
Well, about that
The only thing I can think of is that he got so overeager that he kept making mistakes, which made him panic and feel like he had to do better, which led to more mistakes and a downward spiral that just went on and on
11102505
Yeah, I might have over exaggerated this point here. But, like the game Telephone, things do tend to get warped with each new telling and as time goes on. Plus, the those caught in the midst of it, it probably seemed excessive at the time.
Also,
They could either start playing with two sets or Hold'em, to make it more feasible? Love their banter, feels very natural
11102768
Wasn't sure if two decks would "break the game" (with two decks it's possible to get five of a kind) but it's something to more seriously consider.
The plot thickens... and then gets scrambled
11102782
Hey Ink, is the next chapter of the 'The Witching Hour' series almost ready by now?
11503994
*looks at you intensely*
I must break you
11504011
??? Is something wrong Ink?
11504035
Get it? "I must break you"? Break Windy? Breaking Wind? Fart? Even used an Ivan Drago line for a joke within a joke?
11504052
Can you answer my question now?
Oh, ha ha.
11504055
It is not.
11504086
Hey Ink, I just had a funny idea for the next poker chapter. Discord shows up to join. The result is CHAOS! Mostly because he replaces several poker cards with randon trading cards and board game cards. What do you think?
11782478
You're on to something, but it won't be Discord. That's all I'm gonna say.
*chuckles in the background*
11782481
Can Discord join a future one then?
11782487
It's possible