Did you know that Colgate moved to Ponyville from Hoofington to set up her own dental office?
Did you know that Vinyl Scratch was fired by Hoity Toity after being asked to model for him? (To which her answer was "Buck off!")
Did you know that Derpy Hooves' eyes were messed up in an accident which involved Berry Punch, who doesn't even LIKE wine?
Did you know that Octavia has trouble paying the bills? Or that Dr. Whooves is really just a doctor? (Probably.)
Of course you don't know these things, they all happened off screen or in the background. Well not today!
Follow a dentist, two musicians, a d.j., a candy merchant, a doctor, a mail-mare, and a party goer on various silly adventures and shenanigans around Equestria.
((One more thing guys, I hope to submit this to EQD after I hit three chapters, and I don't have anyone to edit for me, so if you just so happen to notice a grammar or spelling mistake while you read, it would mean a lot to me if you could leave a quick comment. -Potatoarmy))
I'm liking this, it's really interesting.
Interesting take on the niche that this fandom has given to these background ponies. Thumbs up and will read this later.
I can't wait to see what Berry did to poor Derpy.
I am liking this already. I love it when background ponies get entire stories devoted to them.
In other words...
You've got my attention.
I'm really enjoying this.
It looks good, can't wait to read more!
My attention.
You have it.
Pre- Mane six chronicles? I'm liking this soo soo much!
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Thank you all so much!
Normally I'd take the time to reply to each one of you individually, but I need to get busy writing the next chapter!
Yeah! Hurry! I wanna see ponies cleaning the house!
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No prob. I love originality.
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Yay!
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If the rest of this story is anything like this first chapter, I will be one satisfied machine.
Take your time, make it awesome.
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I was just thinking the same thing!
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Me too, though I'm kind of surprised nobody else has done a story just like this before. I thought of it on my own but it still seems better than something I would come up with usually.
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Yay!
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Unfortunately, the rest of the story won't be anything like the first chapter
'Cause it will be better!
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YAY!
At first, I din't think this would be good, but I read it and it's amazing! I'm looking forward to more!
Keep at it!
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Well thanks!
And yeah, I probably should work on getting a better picture. I made this one in 6 minutes with gimp, since I'm not too great of an artist.
Chapter 2 is out! I'm afraid I did rush this one a bit because I'm leaving for a week-long vacation in a place with no internet, so I won't be able to update for a while.
However, since I did rush to finish the chapter tonight, I would greatly appreciate if anyone would point out anything they found unsatisfactory about it, so that I can fix it when I get back, and hopefully improve my writing skills in general.
I thought it was great! You're really doing a wonderful job with it. I can't wait for the next installment! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Derpy_Hooves_lolface.png
Does Colgate have any dental training of any sort? She seemed to just become a dentist by a whim. I'm confused...
The whole "earlier/later" thing is awesome, by the way. That scene at the office with the doctor was hilarious!
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_future.png Time? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Derpy_Hooves.png Buck time!
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png Wayward Mind out! Peace!
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Thanks! Now that I actually took the time to re-read it, I probably won't edit as much as I made it sound like I will, but I probably should tone down the dr.who references a bit for the people who don't watch the show.
As for Colgate suddenly becoming a dentist...................
whoops I didn't even notice I did that until just now.
I'll have to add something to chapter 1 about that......
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_OMG_LOVE.png Wait, maybe that will work! When she gets her first patient, she realiizes she has no idea what she's doing! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_dayum.png It's brilliant!
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Fluttershy.png But, whatever you want to do is fine...
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png Peace!
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That is a fantastic idea!
you don't mind if I use that, do you? I think I'll have to start writing the next chapter on paper while I'm away, because suddenly I can't wait to get working on that!
Feel free! And have a great trip! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_grin.png
Good story cant wait for more
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I am pleased to announce that this story has lived up to my expectations very well. As a self-proclaimed Doctor Who fanatic (okay, I have only seen Doctors 9 through 11), I heartily approve of stories involving him.
Also, thank you. I thought that I was the only one who prefers the name "Ditzy Doo" to "Derpy Hooves." The former as her actual name with the latter as a nickname has always been a nice balance to me.
Also, if you need a beta-reader/editor/proofreader, I would be happy to help. Just send me a message if you are interested.
I think the fanon is that Colgate's cutie mark represents 'Be sure to brush your teeth for three minutes!'
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Yeah, I treat 'Derpy' as a nickname too. :brohoof:
I just started my vacation but I couldn't resist doing a quick check-in on my sister's laptop
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Those are also the doctors that I have seen, and as you can probably guess I'm trying to base Dr. whooves after the personality of the doctor he looks like, (also my personal favorite doctor), which is of course David Tennant the 10th doctor
As for Derpy I do in fact like the name Derpy better, however it still just didn't feel right making that her real name, it's just not fitting enough as anything but a nickname.
And I may take you up on that proofreader thing later, but first I've got to write the next chapter.
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Really? Well I guess that makes some sense
I'm back from vacation! Time to get the next chapter done!
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Sorry it seems the next update is taking a good bit longer than expected.
I've had kind of a crazy summer with no less than 3 vacations that have taken me all over the world, then my laptop broke, then my cousin got married so all of my other cousins were visiting, and just left about an hour ago after staying for a week. Also sometime during all of this I adopted a puppy and have been training him, not to mention 4 books and 2 packets worth of summer homework, most of which I still don't have done.
I'll finally be able to resume work on the next chapter tomorrow once my new laptop charger comes in the mail, sorry for the delay!
When I see Colgate now, I think of her personality seen in this fanfic, and her Rina-Chan voice!
Win, lol
I'm liking this already, but one quick tip. When two characters talk space out what they say.
No, no.
Oh, and no -GAAAAAAAAASP-, I know that's Pinkie's thing, but just type "The curly-maned mare let out a loud gasp." or something like that, k?
TO THE SECOND CHAPTER!
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Thank you soooo much!
I'll go through the chapters and fix that!
Great stuff! noticed some typos so I'll send you a pm later on. Can't wait to read more.
Yay!
Lyra is awsome!
Dashie is best pony.
Congrats on making the feature box!
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WOAH!
I didn't even see that there!
You guys are the best!
1668175 ahahaha, don't mention it
Well, the feature box seems to be working. I've found a few little gems in there the past few days!!!!
... No I'm pretty sure I'm a timelord... I'm also sure I would know...
ANDIAMO!!!
Ah time travel. So damn confusing.
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7zzgj85en1ruf44ao1_1280.jpg
She always insists on flying instead of using a bucking TIME MACHINE!!!... OH and by the way have you happened to not remember seeing something lately Welllll... four something's Welllll... Four something's and a lizard named Fred...
ANDIAMO!!!
I really really really want to know what happened to Derpy!!!!
YOU GO TO A GIFTED SCHOOL!!!! AWESOME! I would to if I ,ahem, '' Aplied myself." I am a year ahead in spelling and reading on tests!
I love this shit so far! Pinkie Pie is crazy as ever in this, too!
Adolf Hoofler, clever!
Interesting concept, but I see quite a few problems already
.
There is inconsistent formatting and comma splices out the wazoo. However, those can get fixed with a keen eye for grammer in under an hour. What the big kicker is that you TELL a lot, but you need to SHOW more. In one of the opening paragraphs, you say she made the best clocks in Equestria, what you need to write is some examples of such work. Did she make one for the princess? Did she make one for some of the Canterlot Elite? SHOW SHOW SHOW!
I respect that you're trying to get on EQD with this story, but you need to get an editor or two to help go through these mistakes.
(Not me, I'm writing my own stories.)
OH NO! DERPY AND THE DOCTOR MUST BE TIME TRAVELERS! WHY AM I TYPING IN ALL CAPS?!
I wish someone would explain to me how an hourglass is meant to represent The Doctor's "special talent." Shouldn't it be something less straightforward? I mean, its only possible implication pertains to him being a time traveler. So does that mean that every Time Lord has an hourglass? That's just something that comes naturally to them. It's like giving a fish a "water" cutie mark, or an elf a "pointy ears" cutie mark. It's a very casual aspect of the Doctor's identity.
In fact, from his perspective, of all his extraordinary skills, time travel is actually one of the things that DOESN'T overly contribute to his identity as an individual. He's an explorer! He's a rogue who broke from tradition to travel, and he's since been in and out of all corners of space, even parts that don't technically exist. He's a legendary scientist and trickster! Considered by some to be the cleverest fellow in all the Universe. He's heroic! He found himself taking up the cause of moral indignation. He's a thief! He scarpered off from his homeland with a beloved antique that he decided his whole life would revolve around. He's an enigma! No one knows who he is, his name is a mysterious, cosmic, world-shattering secret which must never be uttered! Why not a field of stars? Why not his sonic screwdriver? Why not a shield decorated with Gallifreyan symbols? Why not the TARDIS itself? Why not a question mark, signifying his ineffability? Of all his traits, just being a time traveler is easily one of his least distinctive characteristics.
Heck, it's not even an appropriate time piece. Offhand, I can't recall a single instance in the history of Doctor Who when the Doctor ever once even used an hourglass. Ever. Maybe once or twice. But he's much more of a "clock" kind of guy.
My best guess, if we must insist on making that one background pony "Doctor Whooves," is that the cutie mark was stamped on him as a kind of brand or ironic punishment by some higher power. Like maybe that's just the generic identifier for imprisoned Time Lords.
"An hourglass!? Why an hourglass? I don't even like hourglasses!"
"WE KNOW YOU DON'T, DOCTOR."
"But it's supposed to represent my innermost soul, or something! Can't you do better than that?"
"YES. BUT WE WANT TO BOTHER YOU. NOW GET YE TO PONYWORLD!"
"Bugger."