Caretakers
“Oh, you’re here! Thanks so much for offering to watch over everything!” Twilight said.
She stepped aside to invite Lyra and Bon-Bon into the library. Spike came down the stairs struggling to balance a suitcase that was way too big for him.
“Think you packed enough, Twi? How much do you even need for a week?” he said.
“I couldn’t decide which travel guide I wanted to take, so I’m bringing all of them,” Twilight said.
Spike dropped the suitcase with a thud at the bottom of the stairs and stood there panting.
“Spike’s not going with you?” Lyra asked.
“Trust me,” Spike said. “A week by myself here is a vacation.”
“Oh, Spike,” Twilight said. “I am looking forward to seeing Califoalnia, though. It’s the farthest from Canterlot I’ve ever traveled!”
“Have fun!” Bon-Bon said. “I’ve heard it’s lovely there this time of year.”
“Anyways, just tell us what we need to do.” Lyra glanced around the room.
“Oh, it’s not much. Spike will be handling most of it, including loaning out books, but if you two could help with shelving, dusting, organization, feeding Owloysious at night…”
“That shouldn’t be too much at all,” Bon-Bon said.
“Great!” Twilight grinned. “Oh, that’s right. Aren’t you helping out the others, too?”
“Right! We need to get over to Fluttershy’s next. We’ll see you later, Twi.” Lyra turned and dashed out, with Bon-Bon following behind.
“Make sure the bird feeders are filled every morning. The blue jays need their breakfast,” Fluttershy explained. “Oh, and the robins usually come back in the evening, so make sure it’s not empty then…”
Lyra had a long scroll floating in front of her, where she’d tried to list all of Fluttershy’s instructions. She found a small margin that wasn’t yet filled with writing, and tried to fit in another few words. “Got it. Anything else?”
“Oh! And make sure the chickens are safe in their coop every night.”
“Great. That’s it?” Lyra said.
Bon-Bon let out a yawn, trying to stay awake.
Fluttershy led them over to the side of her tree. “The vegetable garden’s right over there. The bunnies like fresh carrots the most. Angel can be very particular, though.”
“Good. So that’s all?” Lyra turned over the scroll, but the other side was already filled.
“Did I mention the squirrels like to – “
“You probably did at some point. It’ll be just fine, Fluttershy, no need to worry,” Bon-Bon said.
“Oh, it’s okay. I’ve just never left home for more than a day or two. I don’t want all the animals to get lonely. Make sure you spend enough time with them,” Fluttershy said.
“Are you sure everypony else said they were too busy?” Bon-Bon whispered.
Lyra stared at both sides of the parchment. “We’re really going to have our hands full with this...”
“Um…” Fluttershy stared at her.
“What she means is that… it’ll be a piece of cake!” Bon-Bon said, smiling. “You don’t have to worry about a thing.”
“Anyways, we’re headed over to Rarity’s next. We should get going,” Lyra said.
“Oh, I’m terribly sorry!” Fluttershy’s face turned red. “I forgot you still had to see Rarity and Applejack. I took too long, didn’t I?”
“It’s fine. Come on, Bon-Bon, let’s go!” Lyra said.
Rarity was dressed in oversized sunglasses and a gaudy wide-brimmed hat. If she was anypony else, she wouldn’t be able to get away with a flashy style like that.
“Opal doesn’t usually like anypony she doesn’t know to touch her, but I simply cannot allow her to go for a week without proper grooming. Lyra, I would suggest you keep your distance when you brush her. She can be a bit cranky. Just make sure to brush her once a day, in the afternoon. That’s our usual schedule.”
Bon-Bon stared at Opalescence. Opal stared back from her basket, scowling. Perhaps it wasn’t a scowl, since her face always looked that way, but there seemed to be such malice in it.
“ – and the sun is terribly hot this time of year, so if you let her outside you simply cannot forget a parasol.” Rarity had been talking almost nonstop since Lyra and Bon-Bon had arrived. She led them into the kitchen. “Her food is in this cabinet. There should be more than enough for the week. She is quite particular about what she eats. Only the finest for my sweet little Opal!”
Lyra suppressed a gag.
“That should cover it. Any questions?” Rarity said, grinning.
“I think we’ve got it,” Lyra said.
“Sweetie Belle!” Rarity called up the stairs. “Are you all packed?”
“Just a minute, sis!” Sweetie’s voice called down cheerfully. It was followed by a crash.
“That doesn’t sound good,” Lyra said. “Anyway, one last stop left. We’d better get going, right, Bon-Bon?” She turned to her friend.
“Oh, yes. Of course.” Bon-Bon was distracted by that glare that Opal was giving her. It seemed impossible that so much hatred could be contained in such a fluffy white ball, but those eyes were unmistakable.
Lyra called back as she headed out the door of the boutique. “We’ll see you in a week, Rarity! Enjoy Califoalnia!”
They were headed through the orchards at Sweet Apple Acres to their final stop – Applejack’s house.
“I’m serious, Lyra. I do not like how that cat was looking at me.”
“Relax, Bon-Bon. I’ll take care of Opal. Do you think you can handle Fluttershy’s animals?”
“Well, all things considered, taking care of all of them is probably the same level of maintenance that Opal requires.”
“Good!” Lyra grinned. “Wait, that wasn’t sarcasm, was it?”
“Of course not."
“That’s good,” Lyra said. They reached the house and were greeted by Applejack at the front door.
“Howdy, there! Almost worried you wouldn’t show up for a bit,” she said.
“We’ve got a lot to take care of,” Bon-Bon said.
Applejack paused. “Sure this won’t be too much for you two?”
“We’ve got it covered,” Lyra said. “Just tell us what we need to do.”
Leading them past the farmhouse and out to the barn, Applejack showed them around the farm. “For the most part, just keep everything running smoothly. It’s not quite harvest season yet, but if you could get whatever shows up just bring it down to the cellar.” She indicated a heavy wooden door leading underground.
“We should be able to handle that,” Bon-Bon said.
“Oh, and, uh… Granny Smith,” Applejack said.
“What about her?”
“Her hip’s been giving her trouble again, so she’s stuck in bed. She didn’t really want to go out to Califoalnia with the rest of us anyhow,” Applejack explained. “Just make sure she gets her medication every day.”
“Got it,” Lyra said.
“Well, you two have fun. You’re sure you’re up to it?” Applejack said.
Lyra nodded. “Of course! We’re totally responsible.”
“You don’t have to worry about a thing,” Bon-Bon added.
“Glad we can count on you two.” Applejack smiled.
“Come on, sis! The train leaves soon!” Applebloom called out from the farmhouse. She was standing there waving a hoof in their direction. Big Macintosh was next to her, loaded down with suitcases and bags.
“Well, I guess that’s it. I left a list of the more detailed instructions in the kitchen, and don’t hesitate to ask Granny if you need to know more,” Applejack said. She headed off to join the rest of her family.
Bon-Bon turned to Lyra. “So we will be able to handle all of this, right?”
“Absolutely,” Lyra replied. Then she thought of something, and turned back to Bon-Bon. “So I know that Pinkie Pie lives with the Cakes, but is anyone watching Rainbow Dash’s house? She’d need another pegasus to do that.”
“I think she said Derpy would be.”
Lyra burst out laughing. “Seriously? Derpy’s such a klutz! Dash’ll be lucky if she even has a house to go back to at the end of the week.”
“Now, let’s not be unfair…” Bon-Bon said. “But…” She sighed. “You do have a point.”
“At least they can trust us,” Lyra said, grinning.
Lyra and Bon-Bon headed out early the next morning and stopped at the fountain in the center of Ponyville.
“Alright, we’ve got a lot to take care of. Where do we start?” Lyra said. She had the checklists floating all around her.
“Fluttershy wanted us to get up early to feed the bunnies. And the chickens. And the squirrels. And – “
“Yeah, we should probably start there…” Lyra scratched her chin. “Well, you said you wanted me to take care of Opal. I'll head to Rarity's. You can finish up everything for Fluttershy on your own, right?"
Bon-Bon considered for a moment taking care of all of Fluttershy’s animals against the idea of coming into any kind of contact with that monster Rarity called a “kitty.” That actually made it seem fair.
“Fine. We’ll meet back at the fountain once we’re done,” Lyra said. She glanced around at all the scrolls floating around her, picked out Fluttershy’s, and passed it over to Bon-Bon who took it in her mouth. The two of them headed off in separate directions.
A few hours later, Bon-Bon slowly approached the fountain in the center of Ponyville where they’d agreed to meet. Lyra was already waiting there, with a dour expression.
“Sorry I’m late. I was having trouble reading all of your – oh my, what happened to your face?” Bon-Bon said.
There were scratch marks down both of Lyra’s cheeks. “How about you take care of Opal next time?” she said in a bitter tone.
“I told you I didn’t like that cat.”
Lyra sighed. “Never mind. So what took you so long?”
“I couldn’t read the list.”
“Sorry if I don’t have the best handwriting,” Lyra said. “Anyways, what’s next?”
“Applejack’s house. Then we’re done for today,” Bon-Bon said cheerfully.
“Can’t wait to do this every day for a week…” Lyra said.
Bon-Bon gave her a look. “You were the one who said it wouldn’t be a problem.” She led the way out of Ponyville towards the farm on the outskirts of town.
Bon-Bon gave the tree trunk a good hard kick, surprised at how strong she could be. The apples tumbled down into the baskets.
“Just a few more to go. We should be finished soon,” she said. The afternoon sun felt pleasantly warm on her face, but she hadn’t even broken a sweat.
“Yeah, but I can’t help but think we forgot something,” Lyra said. She lifted the basket up with her magic and placed it with the others in the cart.
“What else was there? We’re finishing up the apples, we fed the pigs, the house is all in order, and Granny Smith…” Bon-Bon’s voice trailed off.
They exchanged a glance.
“You gave her the medication, right?” Lyra said.
“I thought you did.”
“No, I…”
Both of them stared at each other wide-eyed.
“I’ll finish up out here,” Bon-Bon said. She shook her head. “I can’t believe we’d run late on something like that.”
Lyra turned and galloped through the orchard towards the house. Bon-Bon moved on to the next apple tree, keeping herself focused on the task. It had been an oversight, but a few mistakes were bound to be made.
She was enjoying this work. Simple, methodical, and the results were quite satisfying. If the Apple family ever needed extra help this fall, maybe she’d offer her assistance.
She filled up six more baskets, though her pace had slowed down without Lyra to help her. Bon-Bon paused to catch her breath. She leaned up against one of the trees and enjoyed the shade.
“Bon-Bon.” The voice was quiet and shaken. She turned around to see Lyra. The unicorn’s eyes were wide and unblinking. The pupils had shrunk to tiny gold dots.
“Lyra? What’s the matter?” Bon-Bon tilted her head.
“I… “ Her voice faltered. She hung her head, staring at the ground. “I… I’m too young to go to jail!”
Bon-Bon shrank back at the sudden outburst. “Lyra, what’s the matter with you? What happened?”
“It’s Granny Smith. I went it to check on her, and…” Lyra stared Bon-Bon in the eyes. “She wasn’t moving. I tried to wake her up. She’s… I think we killed her.”
“N-no, you’re being ridiculous,” Bon-Bon reassured her. “We weren’t that late. I’m sure she’s not really – “
“You weren’t there! You didn’t see!” Lyra insisted. “It’s awful! What are we gonna do, Bon-Bon?”
“Calm down, Lyra. Let’s go back and check on her. There’s nothing to worry about.”
She followed Lyra back through the orchard to the house. Lyra’s legs were shaking as they stepped through the front door and headed for the stairs. When they reached the bedroom, Lyra stopped.
“I’m not going back in there,” she said.
Bon-Bon pushed the door open. “Come on. There’s no way she’s actually…” Her voice trailed off as she looked into the darkened room. There was something she didn’t like about this.
She shook off the ominous feeling and headed around to the curtains. She pulled them open to let the afternoon sunlight shine in. “Rise and shine, Granny Smith! You’re a bit late on your medication, but we’ve got it now!”
Bon-Bon stared at the pony lying in the bed. Motionless. Oh Celestia, was she even breathing?
“It’s no use. I told you. She’s dead, and we killed her.” Lyra had finally inched through the doorway, though she wasn’t coming any closer.
Bon-Bon stood over the bed. “I’m still not convinced. She might be fine. Let’s call a doctor.”
“Bon-Bon, are you crazy? We can’t call a doctor!” Lyra said. “We can’t tell anyone about this!”
“She might just be sleeping. You’re overreacting,” Bon-Bon said.
“Does that look like sleep to you?” Lyra said, pointing a hoof towards Granny Smith.
“Well…” Bon-Bon had to admit, this was a bit creepy. And as much as they’d been talking, Granny Smith hadn’t moved at all. “I still say we should tell somepony. She was very old. Perhaps it was just… just her time, is all.”
“Applejack is going to be home in just a few days…” Lyra said, staring at the floor. She lifted her head. “What’s she going to say? What about Applebloom? This is bad, Bon-Bon. This is really bad.”
“Let’s not start getting irrational,” Bon-Bon said.
“What don’t you understand?” Lyra yelled. “Applejack told us that Granny Smith needed her medication. We forgot about it. And now look!”
Bon-Bon turned back to the bed, and the reality started to sink in. “So… what do we do?” she asked quietly.
Lyra paced back and forth across the room. The floorboards creaked under her hooves. “We still have a week before anybody comes back. There has to be something we can do…” She stopped. “That’s it!”
“What is?”
“Just follow me, Bon-Bon. I’ve got the perfect idea!”
“What do we need at the library?” Bon-Bon asked.
She was following Lyra through the middle of Ponyville. It was a perfect summer day, and all the other ponies were milling about completely unaware of what was going on back at Sweet Apple Acres.
“Just follow my lead. Don’t mention anything about Granny Smith. Got it?” Lyra whispered.
They reached Twilight’s house, and Lyra opened the door and headed inside. Spike greeted them immediately.
“Oh, hey, guys! How’s it going?” he said. “It’s been pretty quiet around here.”
“Has it been? That’s good. Anyway, I was looking for a book,” Lyra said. “I’m sure Twilight would have it. Advanced Spellcasting, Volume Three?”
“Yeah, it should be in the section on magic…” Spike said. He headed over and stared at the shelves with a claw on his chin. “Why do you need that?”
“I’d like to know the same thing…” Bon-Bon’s eyes narrowed.
“No reason,” Lyra said quickly.
“Here it is!” Spike said. He pulled out a heavy book and gave it to Lyra. “By the way, how’s it been going? You guys have a lot of work, don’t you?”
“Yep. Better get headed back, actually,” Lyra said. “Come on, Bon-Bon.”
“Right…” She frowned.
Spike stared at them. “You’re leaving alread – “
Lyra had already turned and dashed outside with the book. Bon-Bon ran to catch up with her.
“So, Advanced Spellcasting?” Bon-Bon said.
Lyra had her eyes fixed straight ahead, the book floating at her side. “Like I said. I have the perfect idea.”
Once they got back to their house, Lyra glanced around nervously, and slammed the door shut behind her. She dashed around to all the windows and pulled the curatins shut. Then she dropped the book, flipped it open, and started searching frantically for something.
“Alright, Lyra. Mind telling me what you’re up to?” Bon-Bon said, raising an eyebrow.
“Hmm…” Lyra put a hoof to her chin, then glanced up at Bon-Bon. “Do you think it would be under ‘R’ for ‘reanimation,’ or ‘N’ for ‘necromancy?’”
“Lyra!” Bon-Bon stared at her in horror.
Lyra tilted her head and put a hoof to her chin in thought. “You’re right. Magic isn’t exactly your forte, is it? I should handle this on my own.”
“It’s not that, it’s just – “
“What else are we supposed to do?” Lyra stood up, and the book slammed shut. “We’ve only got six days until everyone gets back. What do you think we should do?”
“Maybe we should just talk to a doc – “
Bon-Bon was cut off by a knock at the door. Lyra jumped a foot in the air and ran behind her.
“Don’t answer it!” she whispered.
With a sigh, Bon-Bon shook her head. “You’re being unreasonable.” Ignoring Lyra’s protests, she trotted over to the door and opened it.
“Telegram for… Lyra and Bon-Bon?” It was a stallion wearing a blue mail service uniform.
“That’d be us,” Bon-Bon said, taking the slip of paper. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome!” He stared into the darkened room, and stepped away uneasily.
Bon-Bon closed the door and carried the telegram back inside, where Lyra stared at her wide-eyed.
“Oh, please. You’re just fearing the worst.” Bon-Bon opened up the paper and started reading. Her smug look vanished as her eyes moved back and forth, reading the message, then reading it again.
“What? What is it?” Lyra asked.
“There was a problem with their reservation dates at the hotel. They’re coming back,” Bon-Bon said.
“Now?”
Bon-Bon nodded. “Tonight, most likely.”
Lyra stared at the ground, then raised her head back up and stared Bon-Bon in the eyes. “We can’t waste any more time. Let’s get back to Sweet Apple Acres.”
They were waiting in the first floor hallway. The sun was beginning to set outside, but neither of them wanted to go back upstairs to Granny Smith’s room at the moment. It had smelled like death.
“We need to figure out what to do, and fast,” Lyra said.
“Why are you whispering?” Bon-Bon said. “Who do you think is going to show up, the Mayor?”
“I don’t know, just suppose somebody comes around and – “
She was interrupted by a light knock on the door, and she flinched.
“Oh Celestia.” Bon-Bon had gone pale.
“Relax. We just need to act normal,” Lyra muttered. “After all, we’re supposed to be here.” She turned and headed for the front door, and swung it open.
It was the Mayor.
“Oh, Lyra and Bon-Bon?” She stared at the two of them in confusion, then smiled. “Oh, yes. I heard you would be taking care of the farm. How are things going?”
Lyra shook her head. “O-of course!” Her grin was a bit too wide. “We didn’t expect anybody to be here, actually.”
Bon-Bon gave a nervous laugh. “Why would you expect a body? There’s no reason to – ow!” Bon-Bon was cut off by a sharp kick from Lyra’s back hoof.
“That’s not what I meant!” Lyra hissed. She turned back to the Mayor. “Anyway… what brings you out here?”
“Well, I knew the rest of the Apple family would be out. I only need to talk to Granny Smith. As I’m sure you know, the anniversary of Ponyville’s founding is coming up in just three short weeks!”
“W-well, actually, she’s – “ Lyra stammered.
“Is something wrong?” the mayor asked.
“Of course not!” Bon-Bon choked out.
“Good. I’ll just head upstairs to discuss things with her. I’d like to get some help from one of our oldest citizens for the celebration this year.”
The Mayor was headed for the stairs. Bon-Bon was about to run after her, but Lyra put out a hoof to stop her.
Bon-Bon stared at her in disbelief. “She’s going to find – “
“I’ve got a plan,” Lyra said.
"Another one?"
Her horn glowed, and with a bright flash they reappeared in the dark upstairs bedroom. Bon-Bon noticed her mane was singed, and patted it with her hoof until the smoke went out.
“What are you doing?” she whispered. “And I didn’t know you knew teleportation!”
Lyra was headed into the closet. “You go under the bed. Time to put those weird voices of yours to work.” She pulled the door shut so that it was just a crack.
“Lyra, this is absolutely insane!” Bon-Bon heard the floor creaking down the hall, so with another glance around the room, she dashed under the bed.
The door opened, letting a patch of light into the dark room. It fell across the bed, and Bon-Bon inched away from it hoping she wouldn’t be noticed. Every part of this was so wrong.
“Oh, I hope I’m not waking you, Granny Smith,” the Mayor said. “Is this a bad time?”
“You’re…” Bon-Bon coughed, then continued in a perfect imitation of Granny Smith’s voice. “Yer darn right it’s a bad time! Can’t ya see I was tryin’ to sleep?”
Lyra watched from the darkness of the closet. She hoped the green glow of her horn wasn’t too noticeable. She picked up Granny Smith’s body so that it looked like she was sitting up in bed.
“Oh, well… I just wanted to ask you about the celebration in three weeks. Could you perhaps come and give a speech?” the Mayor asked.
“Eh… I’m getting’ too old to be doin’ speeches and whatnot!” Bon-Bon continued. She peeked over at the closet, trying to figure out what Lyra was doing. “Now, go on and git!”
Granny Smith’s arm flopped over limply towards the door. Lyra was having a hard time making the motion look natural. And she was a tad distracted by how sickened with herself she was.
The Mayor stepped back. “I’ve been asking around town. I couldn't find anypony else willing to come by. Are you sure you won’t be able to make it?”
“Not now, not ever!” Bon-Bon said. How was she supposed to convince her to leave? There was a thud, and it suddenly got dark. She turned her head and saw a body blocking the side of the bed, and stifled a scream.
“Granny Smith! Are you alright?” The Mayor stepped forwards in concern.
Lyra picked up the body, trying to shuffle it back into the bed without making it obvious that she was levitating.
“I, uh… I’ll be just fine! Fer goodness’ sakes, just let me sleep! It’s getting’ late!” Bon-Bon said.
“I see…” The Mayor took a nervous glance back towards the door. “Well, thank you for your time. Let me know if you reconsider.” She turned and left.
Once she was sure everything was clear, Lyra stepped cautiously out of the closet. Bon-Bon pulled herself out from under the bed.
“What – “ Bon-Bon cleared her throat, and continued in her normal voice. “What are we doing, Lyra?” she demanded.
The Mayor’s voice came from downstairs. “Lyra? Bon-Bon? Did you two leave already?”
“I’m not proud of it, either,” Lyra said. She listened for the door to close. “How do you have so many voices, Bon-Bon? It’s honestly kind of creepy how you’re able to do that.”
The two of them headed across the hall to Applejack’s bedroom and stared out the window. They could see the dark silhouette of the Mayor headed down the long path through the orchards back to Ponyville.
The sun was setting. The orchards were covered in an orange glow. And soon the remaining members of the Apple family would be coming back from Califoalnia.
“It’s getting late… We’re going to have to finish this,” Lyra said. “Let’s move quickly.”
An hour later, Lyra and Bon-Bon stood solemnly in front of the body. Neither of them took their eyes off of it.
“You got the shovels out of the barn, right?” Lyra asked.
Bon-Bon nodded.
“We’ll bury her out in the Everfree by the Zap Apple tree.” Lyra hesitated. “I think it’s what she would have wanted.”
“Yes.”
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Lyra said, “We’d better… get this overwith, then. You go ahead and get the door for me.”
Grimacing, Lyra lifted the body out of the bed and slowly guided it out of the bedroom. She walked slowly backwards, staying focused on it. As she got to the stairs, she glanced behind her to watch her hooves.
“We’re going to have to leave Ponyville,” Lyra said, reaching the landing and heading for the front door. “Change our names. Let’s see, I’ll be… Heartstrings, and you’ll be – “
“Uh, howdy, you two. What’re you two doin’ here so late?”
There was a thud as Lyra’s concentration broke and she dropped Granny Smith on the floor at the foot of the stairs. Applejack was in the doorway, staring at the two of them. The rest of the family was behind her.
“What’re you doin’ with Granny Smith?” Applebloom said. Her eyes were huge.
“Oh, uh… It’s not what it looks like!” Lyra’s eyes darted around the room, and settled on Bon-Bon. “You go ahead and explain it, Bon-Bon.”
“Me?” Bon-Bon stared at her in indignation. “This was your idea!”
“If you hadn’t taken so long with Fluttershy’s animals, we wouldn’t have been late!”
“I said from the beginning we should’ve called a doctor!”
The Apple Family stared at them in confusion. Big Macintosh silently walked over and looked down at Granny Smith, lying on the floor.
“I’m… so sorry…” Lyra choked out. “We didn’t mean to.”
Big Macintosh took a hoof and gently prodded Granny Smith in the side.
“Eh? Whuzzat?” She picked her head up. “What’re y’all standin’ around fer? Why am I on the floor?”
Applejack turned to Lyra. “I’m not sure what y’all are doin’, but Granny Smith needs her bed rest.”
Lyra and Bon-Bon both had their mouths hanging open. Bon-Bon was the first to find her voice. “We thought she was d – “
“We were just taking her out for some fresh air!” Lyra blurted out. “She was in her room all day. Felt like a tomb in there.” She laughed nervously.
“Uh, ‘fresh air?’ In the middle of the night?” Applejack said.
“Why not?” Lyra said. “It’s nice out. We can listen to the crickets, look up at the stars – “
“Feels like I threw out my gosh-durned hip again! What in tarnation have I been doin’?” Granny Smith said, standing up on her shaky legs.
“Uh, well, you see, Applejack…” Bon-Bon said. “We may have… forgotten that medication you told us to give her. And we might have rushed to conclusions, and maybe assumed that… she was dead.”
Everypony, most of all Lyra, stared at her in disbelief.
“You just had to open your mouth, didn’t you?” Lyra said.
“What in blazes were you sayin’? I ain’t dead yet!” Granny Smith said.
“Sometimes when Granny Smith is taking her rest, she can get a little… still,” Applejack said. “Probably should’ve warned you. It even rattles me sometimes.”
There was a very long pause.
Lyra broke the silence. “It’s… getting late,” she said in a small voice. “We should go now.”
“Yes. I think we should,” Bon-Bon said.
As they headed out, Lyra turned to her friend. “How about we go on vacation? I don’t care where.”
The next day in the royal gardens, Princess Celestia was sitting down for tea and decided to read the latest report that had just arrived from Ponyville.
Dear Princess Celestia,
It’s always great to offer to help out your friends. But sometimes, you can take on a little bit more responsibility than you’re cut out for. It’s always best to keep yourself from being overwhelmed, or else who knows what could happen?
The Princess smiled, and nodded to herself. It always made her so happy to hear a valuable lesson learned. She took a sip and continued reading. Then she spit it out all over the scroll floating in front of her once she read the next sentence.
Also, you should always call a doctor before you declare somepony dead. Being buried alive would be a terrible thing.
Your faithful students,
Lyra and Bon-Bon
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First dark story I've ever really enjoyed reading. Hilarious.
Great twist, and it was very dark at times. Still, it was pretty funny, and at this point the only thing that would have made it better is everything ending in complete disaster -- zombie apocalypse, Ponyville in ruins, mushroom clouds in the distance, dogs and cats living together, Lauren Faust shunning MLP, the works -- and then when Lyra and Bon-Bon are sitting on a bench looking at the destruction with stunned faces, and then some human like Captain John J. Sheridan or William Churchill saunters on in, gives a rousing pep talk, and then leaves. Bon-Bon just grows even more stunned while Lyra's face gets stuck in a grin . . . On second thought: nah. It's fine the way it is.
Keep up the fine work, sir.
That was great man! I really like how you included the letter to the princess at the end.
Overall, that's reading time well spent.
I was afraid this was going into "Weekend at Bernie's" territory ... and I was right XD
Glad that she wasn't really dead, tho. I kind of expected it, but I didn't expect it to go on as long as it did. Good stuff!
I was thinking it might go to the "Weekend at Bernie's" territory as well. Sure enough.
LOVED this line: “Sometimes when Granny Smith is taking her rest, she can get a little… still,” Applejack said. “Probably should’ve warned you. It even rattles me sometimes.”
...and the last part of the Letter to Princess cracked me up!
All in all, a great story!
Dear lord, the punchline
My sides, hurts oh god
Have some things I can't give you anymore and a
or two. Loved it 
Oh my god, how have I not read this before? 5 stars and 2 thumbs up.
dat letter
Oh wow... How have I not heard of this before? In fact, if it wasn't for the anthropology tv tropes page I would have never found it! You sir, are a master at writing Lyra! Keep it up!
296473 wat.
296473 Is that a Ghostbusters reference I see?
I love this! I was laughing all the way through it!
I finally found this side story through TV Tropes. Whoops!
Well then... I have no idea what to say about this at all.
~ Timid
It's under n for necromancy Lyra.
But the spell is pretty difficult to learn. Let alone in a week.
~ Scare
Dat ending....
We seriously need more dark comedies around here. Romantic comedies are over-rated.
Loved it, the whole premise is absolutely hilarious, and it felt fresh. bravo sir
Started funny. Turned dark. Became "Weekend at Bernie's." Ended funny. I approve.
1780623
Nah. "Weekend at Bernie's" dragged the joke out way too long. This didn't beat the dead horse at all.
(I don't apologize for the pun. It was necessary.) 
I'm scared now.
What's up with this dark tag I don't even... Omg what this is terrible I ... Oh shoo its just a "Weekend at Bernie's"
Funny ending
Pretty amusing story. Nice to see that morbid humor is not restricted to Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy or Twilight. The letter at the end was probably the best part.
Also, you should always call a doctor before you declare somepony dead. Being buried alive would be a terrible thing.
Your faithful students,
Lyra and Bon-Bon
Love that line!
Weekend at Grannie's.