Angel

by Sage Runner

Just For Sidekicks

"...mix the jewels in and then ya bake!" Spike sang as he continued to stir the cake batter, absentmindedly dropping each precious gemstone onto his tongue before it had a chance to reach its intended destination. Once his measuring cup was depleted of its gems, the baby dragon opened his eyes to observe his work thus far, only to be greeted to the sight of a gem-less cake batter.

"What happened to all the gems!?" Spike exclaimed, turning to Owlowiscious.

"Hoo."

"Not 'who', 'what'! My gems are..." The aftertaste of several different flavors of gem suddenly got his attention, and he realized what he had done. "I can't believe I did this again!" he groaned. Suddenly, he felt as though the blood was rushing to his head, and before he realized what was happening, the floor impacted against his back with the force of his plummeting body weight.

"Whoa, what was in that stuff?" Spike murmured as his vision blurred.

"Hoo?"

"I dunno, Owlowiscious," Spike moaned. He struggled to sit up. "Zecora gave me these, said they were from the Everfree Forest. Guess they've got a bit of a kick to 'em." As his head began to clear, his mind returned to the tragedy that had befallen his jewel cake.

"I have no jewels," he sang sadly, "I have no cake," he sat up and bowed his head, "I'm a sad little dragon with nothing to bake..." Just then, he heard a knock at the door. Spike staggered over to the library's front door and opened it slowly. Fluttershy was standing there.

"Oh, hey Spike, I hope I'm not interrupting. Am I interrupting?" Her eyes shifted back and forth.

"Well, I do have this cake to not bake," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry then, I'll just be going..." She began to back away.

"Inside joke, talk to me," Spike said, raising his hand to stop her from leaving.

"Well, it's just... our meeting with the Equestrian Games instructor is this afternoon in the Crystal Kingdom, and I need someone to take care of my Angel Bunny while I'm gone," Fluttershy explained.

"Oh yeah," Spike replied, lowering his eyelids, "that thing I wasn't invited to."

"Oh, I'm so inconsiderate," Fluttershy said. "Of course you'd be upset about not being invited. It was stupid of me to think that a bag full of gem stones could make up for that!"

"Bag-of-what-now?" Spike asked, his interest suddenly peaking.

"Gem stones! Seven in all, but I can't ask you to look after Angel while I go off to do something you weren't included in."

"Well hold on now," Spike said. "I mean you made the trip out here, went to the trouble of getting the jewels together, so yeah, I'd be happy to look after the little guy."

"Oh, you will? That's wonderful!" Fluttershy exclaimed, pulling Spike into a quick hug. "Did you hear that, Angel Bunny!?" Fluttershy turned away to face her pet, and that's when Spike saw the most confusing sight he had ever seen. Standing there, behind Fluttershy, was a full-grown stallion in a rabbit suit.

"Yeah, sure, fantastic," he said in the accent of the nation from which all ponies had migrated to Equestria. "I get to spend the whole day with the bloke who carried me around by the foot last time you left me in his care."

"Oh, hush!" Fluttershy replied quietly, assuming Spike couldn't hear her. "Spike is doing us a favor by looking after you."

"And why, exactly, do I need a babysitter? I'm at the cottage by myself all the time," the obvious mental patient said.

"But this is your tail-fluffing day. You want your tail fluffed, right?" Fluttershy asked, tilting her head.

"Damnit, that's true," Angel conceded. "Well whatever, have fun at your meth empire or whatever."

"Anyway," Fluttershy said, turning to face Spike, "you need to make sure to—"

"Fluff his tail," Spike said.

"Fluff his— yes, how did you know?" Fluttershy asked.

"Is this... some kind of prank?" Spike asked, eyeing the drunken furry standing outside his house.

"Prank? Not that I'm aware of. Anyway, here's your pay," she said, producing the promised seven gem stones from her saddlebag.

"Whoa, these look delicious!" Spike exclaimed. "Whatever this is, I'll go along with it!"

"Happy to hear it!" Fluttershy replied with a warm smile. She turned to the costumed gentleman who still looked quite bored and gently stroked his head. "Now you be on your best behavior for Spike, I'll see you when I get home!"

"Cut it out, mum!" He blushed. "You're embarrassing me!" Fluttershy let out a slight giggle and flew off toward the train station, leaving Spike alone with a grown stallion dressed like a bunny. From either side of the doorway, they stared at each other for a few minutes, Spike not quite sure what to say.

"...May I come in?" the stallion asked.

"...Sure," Spike replied. He stepped lightly to the side as the rabbit-horse trotted into the living room. Spike took one last look around outside to see if Rainbow Dash and/or Pinkie Pie were hiding behind a bush snickering at him, and closed the door. He turned to face Angel, and again they stared at one another.

"...Got any DVDs?" Angel asked.

"...Some."

"...I like Matt Haymon."

"...Yeah, he's good," Spike replied, his eyes continuing to widen.

"'Kay then," Angel replied, feeling slightly uncomfortable under Spike's gaze. "You get that set up while I go raid your fridge. Got any popcorn?" His response came in the form of a slight nod from his caretaker. Angel shrugged and went into the kitchen, opening the fridge. Spike stood motionless, his eyes following Angel as he rummaged through the fridge.

"Your Twilight Sparkle's not much of a drinker, is she?" Angel asked from behind the refrigerator door. "Not a single bottle nor can of beer to be found! Don't suppose you're twenty-one in dragon years, are ya? The bigoted clerks at the convenience store won't sell to rabbits."

"I..." Spike replied. "I'm not sure what's happening."

"Sorry?" Angel asked, cocking his head and closing the door.

"What is..." he waved his hand back and forth between them, "this? Who are you?"

"I'm fairly certain you know who I am," Angel replied. "You did just accept my mum's hard-earned jewels to watch me."

"So you expect me to believe that you're Fluttershy's pet rabbit," Spike replied.

"I don't really care what you believe, but why not? That is what I am," Angel replied.

"Clearly you're a stallion in a rabbit suit," Spike replied.

"Well actually you've got that backwards," Angel replied. "See, I'm a rabbit to most people. Very few can see me for what I truly am. And you're not the first dragon to do it, so don't go thinking you're special, mate."

"Again, not hearing anything believable in there," Spike replied, taking a step back.

"Well don't believe it for all I care. You accepted mum's payment, so I'm your responsibility for the day. Speaking of which, fluff my tail." Angel spun around and lifted his hindquarters.

"I'm not going to do that," Spike replied flatly.

"Why the hell not?!" Angel snapped back.

"Because it's not your tail. It's part of the costume."

"If my tail's not real, how am I moving it?" Angel began to wave his tail back and forth with his left hoof.

"Okay seriously, Dash, Pinkie, or whoever's masterminding this disturbing little play, you've had your fun!" Spike called out, glaring at each window one after another, only to find them all empty.

"Look, mate, this is real easy. Fluff my tail, then we'll kick back, watch some Bourne Coltimatum, and shoot the shit."

"I'm not doing this," Spike replied, eyelids half open. "Please get out of my house and back to whatever hospital you escaped from."

"You can't kick me out!" Angel replied, taking a step forward.

"Am I gonna have to call the police?" Spike asked.

"Whoa, hey," Angel said, backing away and holding up a hoof defensively. "I'm not on such good terms with the PVPD, there are some unresolved issues with broken flower pots, half-eaten crops, and the mayor's office which I may or may not have defecated in when she ignored my request to be her ambassador to Ponyville's rodent community." He offered a weak laugh. "Let's not go getting them involved in this."

"Then leave." Spike replied, unmoved.

"Fine!" Angel snapped. "But you're not getting paid." In one swift motion, he snatched up the gems and bolted from the library.

"Give those back!" Spike shouted, giving chase.

"Are you actually chasing me?" Angel shouted over his shoulder. "Well, if you want to look silly, I won't stop you. Go ahead and try to keep up, idiot!" Angel kicked his legs into hi-gear and the distance between them grew.

"I'll never catch him," Spike muttered as he slowed to a stop. "Unless... I can figure out where he's going and beat him there! With all those gems... the convenience store!" Spike knew a shortcut.

Cutting through Ponyville's back ally's, leaping over fences, dumpsters, and Derpy Hooves in a muffin-induced coma, he approached the convenience store from behind, looping around to the front just in time to tackle Angel, who, to Spike's surprise, was easily overpowered by the baby dragon.

"Did that kid just tackle a rabbit?" Asked a nearby mare.

"What, is the whole town in on this?" Spike asked as he lifted the encostumed stallion onto his shoulder, again surprised by the unnatural lack of weight, and carried him off behind the store.

"Help!" Angel shouted as Spike ran. "He's not my daddy! He's not my daddy! What's wrong with you ponies?!"

"Enough!" Spike shouted, plopping Angel to the ground. "I don't know if you're a prankster, a whack-job, or something crazier than that, but I've gone along with this more than long enough to get to keep those gems!"

"You want the bloody gems that badly?!" Angel asked.

"Uh, duh!" Spike replied, placing his hands on his hips.

"What is it with dragons?" Angel sighed and shook his head. "And after that incident on your birthday, I actually thought you were different from the others. But you're just a slave to your base instincts like all the others!"

"What is that supposed to mean?!" Spike asked.

"You chased, tackled, and carried what you believe to be a crazy person in a rabbit suit clear across town for seven tiny gems, and you ask me what I mean?" Angel leaned forward, and Spike recoiled.

"Well, I—" Spike held his hand over his mouth as he looked back and forth, trying to come up with a retort.

"And the trip to the Crystal Empire," Angel continued. "You literally helped save them all and they can't be bothered to send you a bloody invitation when it's time to go back! I'd be pissed if I were you! But throw a couple of gems in your face and suddenly anyone can treat you any way they want! Are you content being everyone's jewel-bitch?!"

"So what should I do?" Spike asked, realizing that Angel had a point.

"Stop kissing everyone's ass..." Angel spun around. "And fluff mine!"

Spike's lower left eyelid twitched, and he clenched his jaw. His tiny claws tightened into fists and he shouted, "Enough with the fake tail!" Grabbing the ball of fluff in his hand, he tore it off of what he thought was a costume. The agonizing scream that escaped Angel's throat was like nothing Spike had ever heard before.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Angel shouted, clutching at his flank as he tried to rub the pain away.

Spike gasped as he realized that the novelty-costume sized tail he had yanked a moment ago was now a small, very realistic looking rabbit's tail. "It's... it's real!"

"Of course it's bloody real you sick bastard!" Angel screamed. "What kind of psychopath rips off a rabbit's tail to see if it's real?!"

"Angel!" Spike protested. "Angel, I'm sorry!"

"Yeah, well, I'll admit I share some of the blame on this one," Angel whimpered, holding back tears. "You were put in a strange situation you didn't understand, and I didn't exactly make your transition to Angel-vision an easy one."

"So... are we cool?" Spike asked, smiling meekly.

"Not like it won't grow back," Angel said, finally beginning to recover from the pain. "Score us some booze and we'll call it even."

"I'm twelve!" Spike replied indignantly.

"Blast," Angel hissed. A passerby caught his eye. "Yo, Zecora!" The zebra turned and smiled at Angel. "Would you mind buying me a six-pack? I'm totally good for it!"

"I should not enable you, but my home you defend. Just this once I'll help you, my drunken little friend," Zecora replied.

"Bitchin'!"

***

"So..." Spike began as he and Angel relaxed on the library's sofa. They both held unopened beer bottles. "Zecora can see you too?"

"Aye," Angel replied, hooking the tip of his beer bottle between Spike's protruding green scales and popping off the cap, earning him an angry glare. "Do me a favor though, and don't tell my mum about any of this. She doesn't need to know that other people can see me this way."

"Why not?" Spike asked, cocking his head and using his scale to open his own beer the way Angel had done.

"My relationship with her is... a unique one. Simply put, her finding out that non-magical beings can see me the way she does would get her asking questions that I don't want to answer. Anyway, you ripped off my tail, so you keep my secret and I'll keep yours." Angel grinned before taking a sip. Spike gulped at the thought of Fluttershy finding out what he had done and simply nodded, perspiring a little.

"There's a good lad," Angel replied. "Tell you what, you've got an impressive Matt Haymon collection."

"Yeah," Spike agreed. "They're not all mine either. Twilight's a total action-movie buff."

"No-friggin'-way!" Angel laughed. "She hides it well."

"No kidding," Spike said with a laugh.

"So you let me come hang out here to watch 'em once in a while, and you and me'll be fast friends in no time."

"I can live with that." Spike nodded. "And you were right about what you said, about the dragon-greed. I do want to be different, to be my own person. I'm gonna give Fluttershy back her jewels when she comes to get you."

"I'm proud of ya, mate," Angel replied as they clinked their bottles together. Just as Spike was about to take his first sip, the bottle was yanked from his hands.

"Hey!" Spike grunted.

"You're twelve years old, kid," Angel said, taking a swig from Spike's beer, followed swiftly by a swig from his own. "I can't give alcohol to a minor, that just ain't right!"

Comments

[Bad_Seed_72]

Love the banter between Angel and Spike! That cheeky little "rabbit," swiping that beer from him at the last minute... *insert sad Spike emoticon here*

[MrPockets]

Am I a bad person for hoping Spike was going to get drunk?
Also, this story is still awesome!

[Sage Runner]

5630461

Thank you for reading, I'm glad you did!