Angel

by Sage Runner

A Ponyville Wedding

A hoof connected to a jaw bone, the sound of the impact echoing through the town. Drifting Wood was sent reeling, but was able to regain his footing. "What the hell is your problem, old man!?"

"My problem!?" Cranky Doodle Donkey replied. "You tried to pawn my scrapbook!"

"I did that to help you!"

"Help me!?" Cranky shouted incredulously. "That book is all I have to remember her by!"

"Exactly!" Drifting Wood exclaimed in response. "You're obsessed with her, mate! You've wasted the best years of your life searching for somepony that could be dead for all you know! I was trying to help you move on by removing it from your sight!"

"Yeah, you're a regular saint, aren't ya?" Cranky replied. "I'm sure that's exactly why you tried to sell it! I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that journalists always pay a good price for memorabilia from past Grand Galloping Galas, and I'm even more sure it has nothing to do with the valuable keepsakes collected from the places I've been being stored in it."

"Okay well when you put it that way I sound like an asshole, but-"

"When you tried to do it, you looked like one."

"Okay, well, apparently you're not ready to let go of her yet, so I'll drop the subject for now. Bygones?"

"Are you kiddin' me? After what you just pulled, I never want to see your ugly mug again!"

"What?" Drifting Wood asked, genuinely surprised. "What are you talking about?"

"Exactly what I said. You and me are done. I'm going west, and unless you want another hoof in the face, you'll get your keester headed east and never cross my path again."

"So that's it then?" Drifting Wood said, becoming angry. "After everything we've been through together, you're just gonna write me off? I saved your life!"

"Yeah, you vouched for me in front of some angry buffalo and saved my life! And I tried to save yours," Cranky replied, "but no matter how many times I lecture you, you just keep goin' down that slippery slope. And this? Coming after the most important thing in the world to me? Let's just say that was the straw that broke this donkey's back. You're settin' yourself up for a bad end, kid, and I don't wanna be around to see it."

"Cranky..." Drifting tried to appeal.

"I really did think there was somethin' special about you, Drift. Thought of you as the son I never had, trouble and all. But you're absolutely bent on alienating everypony around you, drivin' those of us who care about you away. Well today, you succeeded. Congratulations, now leave me alone." Cranky turned away from Drifting Wood and walked away.

"Yeah?" Drifting Wood said, trying to hold back his tears. "Well screw you! You're gonna die a miserable, lonely, old jackass with no one around to mourn you, and that includes me! I tried to save you from that, so you just keep that in mind when you're wishing later in life that you'd moved on! I'm gonna be just fine!" He stormed off angrily, a feeling of misery in his heart more severe than he had ever known before.

Within two months he had hit rock bottom, being run out of towns left and right for various cases of petty theft and assault. Soon enough, his greatest goal in the day to day drifting that he called his life was to never allow himself to sober up. That behavior continued on for a few weeks, before Drifting Wood was eaten by timber wolves. His legacy would live on in the form of cautionary tales aimed at young foals regarding the dangers of stealing, and even more prominently in the form of drinking songs sung in taverns. No one knew his real name, so they all referred to him as Wolfchow the Scoundrel. During the remainder of his travels, Cranky had heard those songs as well, but having an inkling as to whom they were about, he always declined to sing along, instead looking down at his mug and sighing in defeat.

...

"Thanks for keeping me company today, O-Licious," Angel said to Twilight's pet owl.

"Hoo!" said Owlowiscious.

"What do you mean nobody calls you O-Licious? I call you O-Licious!" Angel replied indignantly. They continued on their path through town. Another hoot followed. "There's going to be a wedding tomorrow, and I'd like to be there, wanna make sure I have the address right today."

"Hoo?"

"Royal wedding?" Angel asked. "Oh, you mean that business up at Canterlot that our mums went to. Nah, the wedding I'm talking about is right here in Ponyville, and it's much more important." He stuck his hoof out, gesturing for them to stop. There was a house nearby, next to which preparations were being made for a ceremony. The Cakes were setting up decorations and would undoubtedly be wheeling in pastries the following day. The mayor was there as well, rehearsing the process with the bride and groom.

"Hoo?"

"Groom's name is Cranky Doodle Donkey, bride is Matilda," Angel replied. "Cranky's... I guess you could say he's an old friend. I didn't even realize he was living in Ponyville until I heard Pinkie Pie tell mum how upset she was that she couldn't be his best mare like he had asked her to."

"Hoo?"

"It's complicated," Angel replied quickly. "Like I said, he's an old acquaintance."

"Hoo."

"Right, I did say friend, didn't I?"

"Hoo-hoo!"

"I'm not hiding anything, stop with the third degree already!"

"Hoo!"

"Don't!" Angel said, backing away. "You know I don't like it when you go all predatory, nobody likes that game but you!" Owlowiscious began to aggressively chase Angel around the area as though he were hunting him.

...

"I still can't believe you didn't invite a single guest of your own, Doodle," Matilda said.

"Well, it's like I told ya," Cranky replied, "all of my old buddies are scattered all over Equestria, and most of 'em are too old to make a trip out here. The ones that are still alive, anyhow."

"You never did tell me about this one," Matilda said, thumbing through Cranky's damaged scrap book, stopping on the page that had a receipt from a diner for two meals and a free ice cream sundae taped to it. "All you said was 'He's dead now,'."

"Doesn't matter," Cranky replied, gently taking the scrapbook away from her and nuzzling her cheek, "we'll have plenty of guests with just your Ponyville friends, anyhow."

"Shame about Pinkie not being able to make it."

"Well, she had already committed to that wedding up in Canterlot first, and I firmly believe that if I had been the one she said yes to first, she would have turned down the other thing."

"Probably, knowing her," Matilda replied.

...

"Looks like I made it just in time!" Angel said, panting heavily as he came to a stop on the outskirts of the Donkeys' property, just out of sight from the guests.

"Mares and gentlecolts," the mayor began, presiding over the ceremony, "we are gathered here to celebrate the union of Cranky Doodle Donkey and Matilda Brayworth. The strength of their commitment is clear. The power of their love, undeniable. May we please have the ri-" The mayor was cut off by several screams among the guests.

"What's that in the sky!?" someone shouted. All eyes turned upward to behold a swarm of pony-sized insect-looking creatures covered with small holes flying down towards them. One by one they began slamming into the ground, leaving craters beneath their feet and eyeing the Ponyvillians hungrily. From their jagged horns came green bursts of magic energy, visibly draining the strength of any targets they hit.

"Doodle!" Matilda called out, as a Changeling approached her, charging up another magical attack.

"Oh no ya don't" Cranky shouted, bucking the creature and knocking it unconscious. "Come on, we gotta find someplace safe!"

"Crap," Angel said as he watched the two donkeys begin to flee, a pack of Changelings in hot pursuit. Angel quickly ran after them, passing them up and getting in front of them. "Follow me!" he shouted, waving his hoof.

"Is that rabbit trying to tell us to follow him?" Cranky asked.

"I think so," Matilda replied, panting.

"Well, not like I've got a better idea," Cranky said as they galloped forward with renewed vigor.

"That's right, just keep up with me, and everything will be fine, mate!" Angel shouted, knowing that no one could hear him. The Changelings that flew after them in pursuit continued with their attacks, and Angel noted how spry Cranky and Matilda were. At last, they came within sight of the Everfree Forest.

"Look at where he's leading us!" Matilda shouted.

"Maybe we actually can lose 'em in there," Cranky replied. Into the forest they ran, unaware that the Changelings had anticipated this and began to spread out. After a few seconds of running between trees, Cranky and Matilda found themselves completely surrounded. "So much for losin' 'em," Cranky said. "Dumb rabbit."

Suddenly, a bright flash illuminated the dark forest, causing everyone around to cover their eyes. Cranky looked at the rabbit again, and couldn't believe what he saw. In its place stood Drifting Wood, looking as though he had strutted right out of the donkey's memory back into the world of the living. He looked far more unkempt than the last time Cranky had seen him, but he didn't appear to have aged in the years since they had last seen one another.

"...How is this possible?" Cranky asked.

"Explanation's gonna have to wait a bit, mate," Drifting replied. "As for you," he said, turning to the Changelings, "what's that you're holding in your hoof?"

"What are you talking about?" a Changeling replied, confused but undaunted. "I'm not holding anything!"

"You don't say?" Drifting Wood replied. "'Cause from here, it looks like you're holding the short straw." Before the Changeling could respond, the force of a powerful kick knocked him through a grand total of three trees. As the trees fell, the other Changelings looked from their fallen comrade back to Drifting Wood, their jaws practically touching the ground.

"Yeah, that just happened," Drifting said, as though he had already guessed the question on their minds. "I'd say you should run, but let's be honest, you're not nearly fast enough." In spite of his warning, the Changelings did, indeed, attempt to take to the skies, but with Drifting's incredible speed, he was able to dispatch them all before they got out of jumping distance from him. "Hey, Cranky," Drifting said, turning to face the stunned donkey.

"...Yeah?"

"Zecora's hut isn't far from here, do me a favor and go borrow some rope from her. We need to tie these blokes up before they regain consciousness."

"I'll do it," Matilda said. "Something tells me you two know each other, so I'll let you catch up. Thank you for saving us, whoever you are."

"Name's Drifting Wood," he replied, "and it's an honor to meet you, Matilda." She nodded and left for Zecora's hut.

"You need a shave, kid," Cranky said, walking over to Drifting's side.

"That's what you're gonna lead off with?" Drifting replied, skeptically.

"I'd heard you were dead," Cranky said, a touch of frustration and sadness in his voice. "Why didn't you come find me?"

"You told me never to go near you again, and you punched me," Drifting replied. "What was I supposed to do?"

"Ignore me, like you always did," Cranky said. "I was stompin' mad that you tried to pawn that book, don't get me wrong, but it's not like I could have stayed mad at you forever."

"Sure seemed like you could have."

"More'n anything else I was looking for a little honesty from you. So I'll ask you again, why did you try to pawn my scrapbook?"

"For the money," Drifting replied, sadly. "I'm through lying to people. I told myself I'd be doing you a favor so I wouldn't feel as guilty, but yes, I did it for the money."

"I know you did," Cranky replied.

"I'm sorry."

"I forgive ya, kid," Cranky replied. "It's not like things didn't work out for the best anyhow."

"Yeah, finally found her, eh? I'm glad."

"Somethin' about you has changed. I don't feel like I need to watch my pockets when I'm around ya now."

"Well, old habits die hard, but this is a serious moment, I wouldn't ruin it by picking your pocket," Drifting Wood grinned.

"Now onto my next question," Cranky said. "What in the heck was all of that!? You moved so darned fast my eyes couldn't keep up with ya, and am I going senile, or were you a rabbit five second ago!?"

"I could give you the long version," Drifting replied, "but it would make about as much sense as the short version. Might be hard to believe though."

"After what I just saw? I doubt it."

"Well then, what you heard about me dying, that was true. I was eaten by Timber Wolves, but because I sacrificed myself for a little filly, I was reborn as a rabbit, and now I'm supposed to watch over the grown up version of the aforementioned filly and protect the Everfree Forest from an assortment of horrible creatures. And I guess I have super powers, too."

"You're right," Cranky replied, "in the grand scheme of things it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but it does explain everything I just saw you do."

"I'm back!" Matilda declared, being followed closely by Zecora, who was carrying a rather large amount of rope.

"Wise to lead them here, Guardian," Zecora said, "now please tell me there's more to your plan!"

"'Course there's more to his plan," Cranky said. "He's gonna trot back into town and curbstomp some bugs!"

"Yeah, see, the problem with that is I can only do this stuff inside the forest. We'd have to make the Changelings come here." Drifting Wood explained.

"Well then, that is a problem," Cranky replied. "Zecora, I don't suppose you've got some Changeling bait, do you?"

"I have many things, from large to meek, and I happen to have the bait you seek!"

"Really?" Cranky asked excitedly.

"No, there's no such thing," Zecora replied flatly.

"Look, I'm just tryin' to come up with a plan," Cranky replied. "What are they even here for?"

"The Changelings come out when they need food, and anything less than the power of love simply will not do."

"I've heard that," Matilda said. "They feed off of the love between ponies."

"Well, that's somethin'," Cranky said. "So how do we use that?"

"I... might have an idea," Drifting Wood said, "but none of us is going to like it."

...

"Oh, this is completely asinine," Cranky said angrily, reading over a piece of paper.

"Just suck it up and read your lines," Drifting Wood said.

"Where'd you even come up with this drivel?"

"A couple of ponies in town drank a love poison a while back. They said some... things to one another. These are some of them." Drifting explained.

"Is this really going to work? It sounds so... forced," Matilda said.

"The emotion behind this little schtick will make certain these words do the trick," Zecora replied, grimacing at Matlida's lines.

"Yeah, now make with the lovey-dovey bullshit!" Drifting commanded.

Cranky and Matilda faced one another. "You're my... shmoopy-doopy... sweetie-weetie... screw it, let 'em take Ponyville!" Cranky said, tossing the paper aside.

"Doodle," Matilda commanded, authoritatively, "I want you too look me in the eye, and put all of your love for me into your voice, just as I'm going to do for you. If we don't do this, our wedding will be ruined, and our friends will all become Changeling food."

"Son of a... fine!" Cranky said, glancing down at his lines.

...

"Alright, it's taken us an hour to rehearse, and Ponyville's probably conquered by now," Drifting Wood said.

"That may actually be good for us. If we are the only prey left, they'll kick up more of a fuss," Zecora replied.

"Let's just get this over with," Cranky said, sounding more calm now.

"I'll start us off," Matilda said, clearing her throat. "You're my shmoopy-doopy sweetie-weetie, pony pie!"

"You're my shmoopy-doopy sweetie-weetie pony pie..." Cranky appeared as though he were dying.

"You're my cutie-patootie, lovie-dovie, honey-bunny!" Matilda replied, playing up her inflection.

"I'm going to vomit," Drifting Wood muttered to Zecora, who simply nodded solemnly.

"You're my heartie-smartie, smoochie-woochie, baby- you know what? No!" Cranky stopped, leaning in and kissing Matilda. "There," he shouted, pulling back, "Matilda and I love one another!" He began shouting. "Ya hear that, you love-sucking bastards!? Come and get us!" Sure enough, the horizon grew dark as countless Changelings began to swoop in for their prey.

"Crickey, that's a lot of 'em," Drifting said, nervously. "You three better find some cover, this is gonna get ugly!"

"Nothin' doin', kid," Cranky said, cracking his hooves. "It's been too long since you and me have been in a proper brawl, I'm anxious to see if I've still got it!"

"Well look at you," Drifting said, impressed, as the Changelings grew closer. "Alright then, just don't break a hip, old man!"

"I'm marrying an idiot," Matilda sighed as she and Zecora prepared to fight as well.

"This is it!" Drifting shouted, as the first Changeling came within striking distance. Suddenly, a giant wall of transparent pink energy came tearing through the forest. Though it passed over Drifting and his companions without harming them, the Changelings were all blasted away at the same time, shrieking as they were sent hurtling off into the distance. The four would-be combatants stared silently at one another for a few seconds, before Cranky broke the silence. "Are... you... KIDDING ME!?"

...

"So once you leave the forest, that's it?" Cranky asked, as he and Drifting Wood sat upon a hill, Zecora and Matilda waiting for them at the bottom.

"'Fraid so, mate. Ninety-nine-point-nine percent of my existence occurs in the form of a rabbit."

"Guess that rules out bein' drinkin' buddies."

"Only if you don't want to be seen getting shitfaced with a bunny rabbit. Ah, but then, I also don't want mum finding out the truth about me."

"How come?"

"Because it would change the nature of our relationship. I'm beginning to suspect that these 'memory dreams' I've been having were my subconscious trying to show me where I had gone wrong, so that I could make amends with you. They started right after you moved here, after all. Still. aside from a few key points, most of the memories of my past life are still gone. For all intents and purposes, I am Angel."

"Guess that's what I'll call you from now on, then," Cranky replied sadly. "You'll be at the wedding tomorrow, though, right?"

'You can count on it," Drifting said, smiling.

"I sure am gonna miss ya, kid," Cranky replied sincerely. "Maybe I'll name my first born daughter after you."

Comments

[Bad_Seed_72]

Yet another awesome chapter! Glad Angel and Cranky patched things up.

[Sage Runner]

3003589

Not dumb, Wilfred is basically these two things:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilfred_(Australian_TV_series)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilfred_(U.S._TV_series)

[Max Caulfield]

Is it okay if I make Angel sound like Morgan Freeman?

[Sage Runner]

3023944

Why not? It was probably a bigger stretch for me to make him sound like Jason Gann XD

[SoarinPie]

Finished all published chapters and all I can say is, more please!!! Awesome series, love your writing, very entertaining, shame now that I'm done...so please write more soon