The Conclusion
Experiments
Chapter 3: The Conclusion
Rainbow Dash was always known to be a pony of adventure, somepony who seemed to always thrive on the here and now. All her friends saw somepony who didn’t like to sit still, and who never backed down from a challenge.
Which is why what the pegasus was currently doing seemed rather odd to those who thought they knew her well. She was seated on a large boulder which sat lonely in an empty field, no trees within football lengths of her. The fields were beautiful grasslands with occasional patches of wildflowers, with colors ranging from blues to oranges. And the fields themselves weren’t flat and dull, instead, they consisted of gentle rolling slopes which seemed to give the area character.
Rainbow took naps in this area once in awhile, and sometimes even came down to the area to just sit and watch the sky, whether it be day or night.
The pegasus had been residing in these fields for the good part of the day, Daring Do book in one hoof, the very one which had sparked the whole ordeal she was currently in. She had forgotten her copy that day, and now kinda felt guilty about throwing it against the wall. After all, that book had been Twilight’s property, not hers.
But as the day unfolded, her nervousness had begun to simmer deep within her, and now had reached near boiling levels as she realized the time of day it currently was. The sun was starting to fade into the horizon before her, sunset following not too long after. And once sunset rolled around, Rainbow knew Twilight wouldn’t be far behind.
It had taken her a long time to craft a letter she deemed worthy to gift Twilight, and the result was a mess of paper which littered her wastebasket, as well as a screaming headache. After countless attempts, the pegasus settled on something simplistic and to the point.
Twilight Sparkle,
I’m writing you this with a purpose, a purpose stronger than you could ever imagine. For a long time now I’ve been spell blinded by your very presence. Every time I’m with you, my heart can’t help but feel like it’s going to explode, and I’d like to do something about this.
Meet me in Strawberry Fields at sunset. I’ll be near the lone boulder you see.
I hope to see you there.
Rainbow decided not to sign the letter, as she did wish to keep it a secret for as long as possible. However, there was nothing she could do if Twilight had recognized her hoofwriting, which she had tried to make neat. Too bad penmanship wasn’t one of her strong points.
The night that followed was as restless as could be, as countless scenarios for the following day had filled her head to the brink of exploding. The phrase “what if” had come up on way too many occasions for her to keep tract of.
She had tried just about every measure to try and fall asleep. She had tried warm milk, counting sheep, going for a nighttime flying session, reading, but nothing seemed to have any luck. Rainbow ended up falling asleep due to pure exhaustion, but thankfully ended up with around 4 hours of sleep, far less than she usually was accustomed to.
Her morning routine was the same as any other day, including checking the mail, which Derpy had brought in earlier than normal.
“Special delivery for Miss Rainbow Dash,” Derpy called out in her usual enthusiastic voice, which had surprised Rainbow initially, as it was early.
Rainbow had went outside to greet her mailpony friend, to find that she was holding but one lone envelope, and a signature lavender one at that. Derpy had given her the mail and went on her merry way, leaving the pegasus before her standing at her mailbox in curiosity at the envelope she held in her hoof. From all the times she had been in Twilight’s home, she knew that the lavender envelope was hers, and was a hundred percent sure when she noticed Twilight’s cutie mark gracing the back, the envelope’s back devoid of anything else. The front was addressed to Rainbow Dash, written in Twilight’s beautiful hoofwriting instead of Spike’s.
Cautiously Rainbow had opened it, and inside was a simple letter not written on Twilight’s parchment for which all her letters to Celestia were addressed. Instead, it was a regular ordinary piece of paper. Rainbow unfolded it and began to read…
Rainbow Dash,
Now before I begin, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, as initially I envisioned this as part of our research we had been doing. The idea had come up at Rarity’s, in which perhaps I could get better research if I participated in a date with a pony similar to that of Daring Do’s personality. I thought it was a good idea, as I am very similar to Rosetta in personality and likes.
Surprisingly, it didn’t take long to find a pony who matched Daring Do’s taste for adventure and courage. That’s right, you fit the mold of her pretty well.
Basically, I’m asking if you’d like to meet up sometime, maybe for a date of some sort. We could go out to eat, or even just hang out together for a night, I’ll leave it up to you.
Also, I’ve never really been on a proper date before, and the more I think about it, the more I actually would like to go on a date with you. It’s not only for research anymore, as the idea of possibly embarking on a relationship with you seems increasingly favorable.
Meet me at Strawberry Fields at sunset, by the boulder. I’m sure you know exactly where I mean.
Twilight.
Dash was more than shocked into incoherent thought, as the letter she had in her hoof was basically a request of a date by Twilight. This also happened to be the same Twilight Sparkle which she had a crush on for a long time now. It was as if everything was starting to come together in her favor, as the opportunity of a lifetime was now presented to her on a silver platter.
This had led to her current residing, as she sat on the boulder and waited patiently, the Daring Do book beside her. She had decided to finish the book which she had thrown across Twilight’s living room in so much haste earlier on, and actually had come to terms with the ending, even if it wasn’t how she envisioned.
The pegasus laid sideways on the rock, hoof propping up her head as she observed mother nature’s beautiful world at work. The sunset was filled with warm colors, golds and oranges, and it almost looked like Celestia had taken a paintbrush to the sky.
“Hey.”
She turned over to where the familiar voice had come from, and wasn’t surprised to see Twilight standing at the foot of the boulder, a smile etched out of nervousness on her face.
Rainbow tried to think of something clever to respond, but instead her mind blanked out on her.
“Hey Twi.”
Rainbow had gotten up and offered a hoof down to Twilight, who gladly accepted it. The pegasus pulled her up in one steady motion, getting a little squeak out of Twilight at the unexpected strength of her friend.
Now up on the boulder, Rainbow went back to sitting in the same position as before. Twilight mirrored her pose, only in the opposite way, their elbows touching as their heads were near one another.
They sat in silence as the sun began its slow descent into darkness, saying goodbye in grand fashion by gifting the sky with a multitude of colors. Sunsets were one of the few things Twilight and Rainbow shared a love for, as they both were mesmerized by the sight before them. It made a good distraction for the time being, as each pony continued to stall from the matter at hand.
“So..,” Rainbow started, flicking around a small pebble which was atop the boulder, “I’m going to guess that you got the letter that I sent?”
Twilight had re-positioned herself so that she could see the pegasus’ face, as well as still view the amazing sunset. “Indeed I did. And I’m going to hazard a guess here, but there seems like there is something you’d like to tell me?”
Rainbow was as hesitant as ever before, and figured that Twilight was a smart enough pony to know where this was headed. She let out a long sigh before beginning.
“That whole incident two days ago when we were reading the Daring Do book, well there was a reason for that. See I…”
“… You saw Daring and Rosetta as a couple similar to me and you. When they didn’t succeed or go into a relationship in the book, it sparked deep emotion within you because of how closely it resembled real life.”
You could hear the pebble on the boulder gently fall off and land with the smallest of plops into the grass below. Rainbow felt the air completely leave her lungs as she stared with widened pupils at the pony sitting before her. She tried to formulate some kind of response, but any time she opened her mouth, all she heard is not the sound of her own voice, but merely a squeak.
“I didn’t realize it at first, but I did pay attention to how you were behaving. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you freak out like that before, it isn’t your style, even if Daring Do is your favorite book series. I didn’t really have much of an idea until I got a letter in the mail.” Twilight had pulled out the very letter in which Rainbow had wrote, causing the pegasus’ face to turn a deep crimson In embarrassment. “I’ve seen your hoofwriting before Dash, it didn’t take me long to figure out who it was. My question is… did you really mean everything you said?"
Rainbow simply nodded a yes to the question, but put her hoof up once Twilight was about to begin talking again. The unicorn understood, and patiently waited in anticipation for what Rainbow was going to say in response.
Twilight herself was quite taken aback when she had opened her mail that morning. It had been an interesting thing to occur on her normal routine, as her mail had contained the usual stuff like a catalog and a couple of spam pieces, but down at the very bottom was a simple white envelope, Twilight’s own full name etched in script on the front. The script itself wasn’t very impressive, and Twilight was quite curious to see what it was.
Once she had opened and read the letter, her mind became a smorgasbord of shock, glee, worry, guilt, and many more emotions and feelings she couldn’t keep track of. She began to wonder not only how strongly Rainbow feelings towards her were, but also just how long this had gone on. Twilight was also quite impressed in Rainbow’s ability to keep this crush completely unknown, as Twilight had no idea it even existed.
What the unicorn was feeling more of than anything else was worry. She had written a letter to the pegasus basically asking her on a date, and while Rainbow had done the same, Twilight was nowhere as serious about the whole ordeal as Rainbow was. Sure, she was excited about the prospect of going on a date with her best friend, but that was just it, they were going to go as friends. Rainbow looked at her as a love interest, as a pony she wanted to ask to be her marefriend. Their expectations were completely on different paths, and now Twilight was faced with a tough decision.
On one hoof, she could go ahead and make the date with Rainbow, and see how it played out. “Maybe there is something between us I neglected to see all this time,” She thought. The possible outcome could be extremely rewarding, but however, what things didn’t click between them like that. The last thing Twilight wanted to do is shatter her friend’s heart.
On the flip side, Twilight could play off the date she offered as purely research, and just be completely honest with the pegasus. She could tell her that she just didn’t feel the same way, and hopefully Rainbow would understand. But the outcome of a shattered heart seemed nearly unavoidable in this context.
Twilight sat with a war in her mind as Rainbow looked at her, finally ready to speak.
“It’s been a long time since I was taken over by Discord’s dark magic. The moment where you used your magic to save me from myself, this was the moment I first felt something more towards you, something I couldn’t exactly explain.” Rainbow started, her memories flashing back to that chaos filled day.
“And yes, that was nearly a year and a half ago. All this time my feelings have felt, sort of like a shaken bottle of soda pop, to put it like Pinkie had told me once. Each day, the pressure grew, and sometimes I would be so close to coming right to your door and kissing you, thinking it would be the perfect opportunity. But instead, I chose to wait.”
Twilight merely stared into Rainbow’s violet eyes, the only color of the Rainbow not present in her multicolored mane. She watched as a stronger breeze pushed a lock of Rainbow’s mane onto her face, so that it was partially over her left eye. It didn’t seem to bother her at the slightest.
“And so I waited. Days turned into weeks, which turned into months, which turned into a full year. The anniversary of that day we defeated Discord was probably one of the most difficult days I had ever experienced. I felt like two different ponies that day. One side of me as screaming at me for waiting an entire year with this feeling for you, and by now it had become a raging wildfire. The other side wanted to celebrate the victory we had a year ago to that date.”
Twilight had remembered how odd Rainbow had seemed at the huge party Pinkie had thrown that evening. At times, it seemed she was truly enjoying herself, but at other times Twilight thought Rainbow would rather be anywhere else in Equestria.
“Now here we are, sitting atop this boulder, all due to a bunch of unforeseen circumstances that came together out of the blue,” Twilight responded, looking to the remaining slivers of sunset which streaked over the horizon. “I just realized now that we both picked the same place to meet one another, without either of us knowing the other’s place. Irony…” Both of them smiled at that fact.
“That afternoon in the library,” Rainbow continued, “the pressure never had gotten as high as it was then. The little relationship between Daring and Rosetta, the one I thought I saw, was a fantasy and possible reality. As I started to read it, I used the potential relationship between them as a way to calm the pressure, but once Daring kissed Silver, it enraged me because I saw it as something that would happen to me. I’m not saying you were going to run off with some stallion or anything.” Rainbow gave the glimpse of a smile at Twilight, who returned the favor.
“When I exploded like that, I was sure you finally realized my secret and the situation at hand. Truthfully, I agreed to the whole research idea you came up with because I thought it would be a way to maybe finally admit my secret to you. I guess I planned that right in a sense huh?” Twilight giggled a bit at Rainbow’s self-jab.
“But everything I wrote in that letter, I meant every single word of it. You don’t know how much paper I used in writing that. Twilight, you’re awesome… and I don’t really know what else to say really. I consider you more awesome than myself, and that’s saying something coming from the now 2nd most awesome pony in Equestria. I mean where could I begin? You’re funny, intelligent, cute…” Rainbow was hushed by Twilight as she put her hoof gently over her mouth, signaling her to stop talking.
“Now, here is another experiment for you. The hypothesis is if you like how you feel after this action.”
Twilight closed the gap between both ponies quick as her lips met Rainbow’s, the pegasus seemingly shocked and surprised at the sudden display of affection. Rainbow savored the moment, as it was everything she had hoped it would be, and then some. Her arms wrapped around Twilight’s neck as she pulled the unicorn closer to her body so that Twilight was on top of her. Sparks flew in both of their bodies as Rainbow extended the kiss as long as possible. The sunset seemed to last just an extra minute longer it seemed, almost as if to prolong the moment.
The two broke away, each of them gasping for air as they had used all their oxygen in their disposal. Twilight’s face was that of a tomato as she realized what she did, but couldn’t deny just how much enjoyment she had gotten from it. Rainbow was like a love drunk puppy at this point, still basking in the afterglow.
“So..,” Twilight began to ask, still breathing a bit heavier than before, “What is your conclusion for this experiment?”
“Well other than you being a damn good kisser, I sure as heck liked, no, loved that! I never knew a kiss could be that powerful,” Rainbow exclaimed, now giddy for the first time in days. “Wait… this was your first kiss too right?” Twilight responded with a slight nod of her head.
“So, what is your conclusion then Miss Sparkle?” Rainbow asked in a teasing sort of manner.
“I’ll admit… it was really enjoyable. I didn’t expect it to turn into a make out session though.” Both of them laughed at this fact.
Rainbow was spell blinded at this point by Twilight, who was sitting at such an angle where the last of the sunset created a silhouette of the unicorn, the remaining light around her acting as if Twilight was glowing like some godly figure.
As she sat there, out of the blue Rainbow remembered the whole research ordeal they had just went through, and was curious at the answer Rarity had given Twilight.
“Say Twi, what did you end up getting from Rarity about the whole Daring and Rosetta thing.”
“Well, Rarity said yes,” Twilight answered. “She mentioned something about opposites attracting, while also giving a couple of ways any relationship would work. They were unconditional love, acceptance for who a pony is, and endless care.”
“Hmmm… Fluttershy mentioned the whole idea of opposites attracting too,” Rainbow replied. “She was also the one who gave me the idea of writing you a letter.”
Twilight’s cocked her head slightly at the mention of the letter idea. “Wait… Rarity gave me the idea of a letter as well.”
“You don’t think…”
…
“Nah.”
“So Twilight, I guess that leaves me with one last question.” Twilight had been watching the moon which was now rising behind Rainbow, illuminating her in its soft glow.
“I think I know this one.”
“Twilight Sparkle, would you like to go on a date with the most awesome Rainbow Dash?”
Twilight brought her hoof up and began to stroke her chin if in deep thought, and continued to do so for a little while. She watched as Rainbow got increasingly impatient, and giggled internally.
“I’d be delighted to.”
Rainbow hopped up and flew into the air like a lit firework, only this one didn’t explode into thousands of pretty little lights. She flew directly at Twilight, picking her up off the ground and hugging her close. Twilight in the meantime tried to stay as calm as possible, even if she was afraid to be dropped from high up in the air. But for some reason she felt save in the pegasus’ arms.
Eventually, Rainbow placed Twilight back down on the boulder, sensing that the unicorn was a bit uneasy about flying at the speeds Rainbow was used to. She watched as Twilight took a minute or so to recollect herself, her heart melting at just how cute she looked right now.
“There is one thing I need to ask of you though,” Twilight started, her tone taking on a seemingly more serious nature. Rainbow listened intently.
“If this doesn’t work, I don’t want you to become heartbroken in any way. I don’t want to see a friend so close to me in pain, when I know it can be avoided. Just know, that if the relationship doesn’t work out, you’ll still be one of my best friends for eternity.” A single tear escaped from Rainbow’s eyes as she made a mental note of Twilight’s request.
“You have my word.”
The pair embraced silently as the moonlight bathed them in a cool yellowish glow.
Hundreds of feet away stood a lone tree, a couple of yards removed from the rest of the forest which was next to Strawberry Fields. It was a rather sizeable tree, big enough for two ponies to hide behind, as it had a little patch of bushes which aided in this fact.
At the present time, there were two ponies hiding here, one being an alabaster unicorn, the other being a yellow pegasus. Both of them held binoculars in their hooves as they stay still and in stealth mode, making sure nopony knew they were there.
The pair waited for the inevitable to happen, and eventually it did as they observed two ponies kissing on the boulder a couple of hundred feet out.
The two ponies both dropped their binoculars and embraced, jumping up and down while celebrating in silent glee.
“Mission accomplished,” they both whispered to each other.
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Strawberry Fields
I love that reference.
Hahahah! That ending! Beautiful!
I must say, this was a nice little fic to read.
Good luck with the contest!
~Skeeter the Lurker
2863318 What is that a reference to? I just made it up
2863324 Thanks buddy!
2863337
It's a Beatles song.
A VERY good song, no less.
And your welcome, too.
~Skeeter The Lurker
2863337
Unintentional?
It looked like it was a reference to this:
uh... This link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeZcI4u0ZQg
I'm such a noob to embedded videos.
Did anyone else find it ironic that rainbow met twilight at twilight.
Just an observation.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
2863337>>2863613
I'm sorry, I hope I don't sound like an arse when I say this, but. . .
These are not examples of Irony. Irony is the opposite of what one expected or meant, like how Dictionary.com says, "The irony of her reply, "How nice!" when I said I had to work all weekend." What you both have here is more fortuitous and coincidental than anything else.
Again, sorry if that comes across rude; meant more informatively.
This is a peeve of mine, how so many people call something ironic these days and being wrong, so the annoyance at it might have accidentally come through here.
However, I did enjoy the story! That was my only gripe.
Rarity and Fluttershy.... The new special forces. CIA, FBI. Or maybe SAS? We will never know...
2866155
It's okay. I thank you for correcting my wording, I often get irony mixed up with another word which escapes me right now but I don't hate you nor do I think you're an arse because I do the same things sometimes.
Great story, good luck in the contest.
2863474
Well, not really. I'm an editor at heart, so I'm just kind of inclined to point out grammatical errors. It's my way of showing love and affection
Also, you're one of the first people I've seen here that doesn't instantly assume any unknown person on the internet is a guy. Just thought I'd point that out lol
2872878
But.. but.. it's just Americans being dumb and lazy
This was a good read! Well paced, and lots of 'daawwss' to go around! I particularly liked the little Rarity/FS bit at the end - it was a nice touch. :)
Good luck in the contest!
-GMP
The overall plot seems like a super light version of Twilight's List.
I really liked this story. It didn't try to drown the reader in adorableness, and it didn't outstay its welcome. Other people have already complained about the first-person narration, though I honestly didn't find the switch that jarring -- especially because, having written my own entry for this contest, I knew that you needed a way to establish that Rainbow had been harboring this attraction to Twilight for a while.
What did throw me off a bit was that Rainbow's narrative voice didn't really sound like her: there were too many big words and not enough colloquialisms, and she spent a lot more time pondering her actions and words than I'd have expected of her. That said, it could very easily have been Twilight's narrative voice, so maybe when you try first-person again, you could do it from her perspective?
Oh, and by the way, good luck in the contest!
Hmm, something tells me that Twi wouldn't be that interested in astrology. Also, how does knocking on a door work when the door is made of clouds
I'm very sorry but I cant give you a cookie
I can give you a cake
But
[[}o
Well done awesome story!
Thanks for this amazing story!
It's a good story to start TwiDash shipping as it includes both points of departure in detail without going into a relationship (too soon).
Personally I liked the switch in person in the first chapter. Yeah, it was random - I guess - but it strengthened my connection to Rainbow's perspective.
2863337 Have a cookie, my good man!
Great story!
2874578
and yet it appears in the dictionary, and therefore is actually a proper word.
see: http://oald8.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/dictionary/alright
2938183
Well... *looks at entry*
First off, every entry in the dictionary isn't actually a word. Dictionaries include abbreviations, obsolete words, proper nouns, acronyms, slang and other such entries which only qualify as words based on definition and context.
Next, it not only states that "Some people consider that this form should not be used in formal writing" in the entry, but also has it marked as "informal," which is basically only a step up from slang.
Additionally, I'm getting kind of tired of this argument, so let's just agree to let it drop, 'kay?
My official critique as a contest judge, as requested
This story is cute and shows something really nice about how Twilight and Dash relate, in a way that’s adorably at odds with one of the central conceits of the story and plays rather nicely into why they work so well together. Despite all the discussion regarding how opposites attract and whatnot, both do rather well at being pretty much exactly like each other.
It is probably known, by people who dig deep enough into comments I make in forums, in my blog, how I write my own stories, and comments on other stories, that I don’t really buy in to the whole ‘opposites attract’ thing myself. Certainly two people can be infatuated with each other, and make a lifelong relationship work, while on the surface appearing to be polar opposites. There are plenty of real world example couples that have seemingly nothing in common that have strong and loving relationships, and that is certainly part of Twidash. The jock/nerd pairing at it’s (my opinion) cutest.
But it’s one of those things where the differences only really go skin deep. Dash might not be one to bury her muzzle in a text book and get straight As on all of her tests any more than Twilight is the type to work out until she drops just to shave off a fraction of a second from her lap time. But at their cores, they’re incredibly similar, driven, insecure, rationally-minded, excitable ponies. Even if they’re talking about completely different things, all those similarities allows them to relate to each other on a deep level.
So for all of the romance novel ‘opposites attract’ stuff that Fluttershy and Rarity were busy saying, it was very nice to see the two of them mirroring each other every single step of the way. They might think, and the conspiring pair of romantic ponies might think, that they’re coming from a place of difference and are somehow going to transcend this difference in the name of True Love, but they did the same things the same way. They’re a pair of goofs here; wonderful goofs who find somepony who they will always understand, even if they seem to be complete opposites.
It’s quite lovely to see that subversion here.
I know others have complained about the POV shift, and I’m going to have to agree with them. You did a suitably fine job conveying everyone’s emotional place throughout the rest of the narrative, so I don’t think it was necessary to go into Dash’s head for one scene just to hammer home her feelings. That can be done in third person just fine and it’s jarring to have the switch. I think stories should stick to one perspective throughout unless they have an extremely compelling reason to do otherwise. I don’t find the bit here to have been all that compelling, so as a result, it was just sort of jarring.
You’ve said that this did not go through a proofreader, and it shows in places. Typos here and there and a couple of sentences that an editor worth his salt would have asked to be clarified. Nothing terrible by any means, but I’m of the opinion that everyone everywhere always should get a second set of eyes to look over something before posting. Errors always get through (ALWAYS), but that safety net really fixes a lot of little mistakes and leads to stronger reading.
What’s here is pretty solid for no editor, but there’s enough that it can pull a reader out at times when they see a missing bit of punctuation or a typo. Having that reduced could really help make everything shine.
I very much enjoyed the story. Your plot is a cute one that feels in character for everyone and the pacing is fine: nothing feels rushed through, although you might have benefitted from scenes of both characters writing their love letters (another opportunity to highlight how similar they can be) after their romance conversations. This is touched on while Dash waits for Twilight for herself a little, but it would have been nice to see Twilight coming around to the idea as she wrote the letter to dating not as an experiment but because she wanted to do it.
Overall a nice piece and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
My two cents.
2966149
I wish I hadn't left this to the last minute, which is the reason I didn't get it proofread. I think I ended up finishing with a day or two to spare, which thinking about it now I could have had time to get someone to go through it and at least point out more noticeable mistakes. Something I'll definitely keep in the back of my mind for next time.
Reading back the story to myself, I can understand why the POV shift wasn't well favored. I always had a plan in mind to use Dash's POV in the story somewhere, but I never was sure how to use it, or if I really had to put it in at all. Option 2 would have been having a 4 chapter story, with her POV and maybe Twilight's together in a chapter, so it would flow better overall and not seem disjointed.
Its interesting to see people actually dislike the whole POV shift actually. I've written many stories before this one, as I've been on FF.net for years before the whole MLP explosion. Never did I get a complaint about that. I find it interesting.
I'm glad you enjoyed how the pair seemed to mirror their movements, I did that on purpose and you nailed it on the head. Twilight's reasoning behind the letter was what it was mostly because at the time I wasn't sure if I wanted to do a whole realization of "hmm, maybe I do like Dash." The whole idea of doing it for research's sake and being a bit oblivious fit Twilight well in my eyes.
Thanks a bunch for the in depth review! Highly appreciated!
Awww!! That was so cute!
Amazing. There were some minor spelling and grammatical errors, but they didn't subtract from this wonderfully written short story at all. I very much enjoyed how you portrayed all five of the characters, and can't think of any pressing problems, opinion-related or otherwise. Liked and favorited. I'd very much like to see some of your future work, especially more Twidash.
Well done.
3185918 Thank you very much. Much appreciated!
As for some of my other stuff, I'd defintely take a look at my current story that I'm working on. It's called Journey to the Center of the Rainbow, and will be my longest to date. Otherwise I'd take a look at Constellations and Colours if you want good Twidash stories.
3180978 Thank you!
The Rarity/Fluttershy bit at the end is... confusing... Mostly because of the way you wrote Fluttershy's internal monologue last chapter. This little bit at the end seems to suggest that they were conspiring, but Fluttershy herself seemed to not know about it until Dash brought it up (and you mentioned she was going to keep it to herself), and presumably Rarity and Twilight were talking at about the same time was Dash and Fluttershy were.
About the ending... You're saying that Rarity and Fluttershy are stalking secret date creators..... Wait! Yeah, I can imagine that.
Only took, like, months of waiting on my read later list, but I finally read it!
Anyway, that was great. i can't remember how you did in the contest, but if I recall correctly you were in the top three. I could go and check but... I'm lazy. And top three you certainly deserved. The pacing of this was beautiful, even if Twilight's idea came a little out of left field, but still remained believable for her character. The ch- I'm done praising; I have other things to do tonight and I don't need to spend this long typing out my praise for this. Just know I think it's a fantastic story. Have a fave and a like, and I can finally have an empty read later list!
Okay this was so cute and full of Twilight a-dork-ableness! I loved this story!
4111387 I do realize this now, and I'm probably going to rewrite that entire section in the future so that it has a constant POV, and not the 1st person shift.
that was such a sweet story
Normally, I tend to go for the more "adult-oriented" fics. Y'know... clopfics. That being said, this story was a great way to end my night, and I can go to bed happy thanks to it. Seriously, this was a wonderful bit of fluff-ness. I loved it, 5/5 stars.
Aww. This was so nice. The fluff was almost too much for me! :3
