• Member Since 8th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 22nd, 2016


I'm a writer, born in the United Kingdom, that's decided to take a stab at writing about ponies - don't worry my friends are worried about me to.


After a night of drinking, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash speculate on two of their absent friends.

First MLP fic, thoughts and feedback is greatly welcomed. Update: re-edited to remove some of the grammar and typos.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 52 )

I really hope this gets into the feature box, because it definitely deserves it. I might not be a fan of the heavily implied Twilight/Rarity, but FlutterDash (drunken kiss or not, it still counts) is something I can always get behind :rainbowkiss:

Anyway, keep up the great work! Maybe someday we'll even see a sequel. That would certainly be a glorious occasion.

k first off i gave you a thumbs up solely for putting "do not sue". that right there made my day. (i would've given you a thumbs up anyway, good story)

First of all really nice and easy read second, its done!? aww man, oh well twas good! :twilightsmile:

I'm beginning to get tired of all these lies I've been hearing from people lately:flutterrage:! Dude you said this was your first book, how is your first book this awesome then huh :trixieshiftright:? I agree with Toxic, you really deserve the featured box friend this was nothing short of entertaining. To be honest I had doubts this would be a good book, since it was your first time, then I got proven so wrong it makes me happy I was! You got a wonderful gift of writing stories and should continue doing so my friend. I have confidence many more people will come to read this and enjoy it, I'll refer to it on my next book for you, I really enjoyed every last second of it. It had like a few errors, but I don't even care it was terrific, so don't screw me over and not make a sequel:twilightsmile:!


Just for the record, and to clear this up. I never stated it was my first ever story, as in writing. Hell no, I've been writing since I was fifteen, I've actually written a novel which I'm trying to publish.

However, it is my first ever time writing a fic in regards to for this series. The difference with writing a fanfic to an original, is that I'm bound by established personalities of the characters and the rules of the universe. You can't just mess with it and change it, not unless you're a hack, or looking to troll - or it's AU.

Making the fic believable is pretty tricky, and I'm not too sure I've managed to really pull it off. Also, you mentioned errors? That doesn't surprise me too much, as they are bound to slip in there, hateful little things that they are. I don't suppose you'd be kind enough to point them out?

Anyway, if I've mis-communicated in regard to my writing, then I'm sorry, I wasn't fishing for compliments or looking to make myself look like some grand prodigy. Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed the fic :twilightsmile:

1056332 No I just wanted you to know I really like it and hope you make more! The errors I saw were these:
“Oh yes,” Fluttershy agreed with a quick nod. - There's a comma behind yes, shouldn't be there lol unless you were gonna write more after it.

“I really trust you to, Dash...”- the most troubling word, to,two, and too. There should be a too behind you,but its ok.

Thats all I saw, I'm not wearing my reading glasses to catch any others sorry:twilightblush:.

So I hope you're novel gets published and many sales:yay:, good luck friend!

Sequel please :pinkiehappy:

Short, sweet, and perfectly paced. :yay:

I'm a little confused at this already being a complete story... there's buildup here for so much more. :fluttershysad:


Originally this was going to be longer, but then I decided I liked the idea of an open ending. I sort of wanted the reader to wonder if it was simply a case of alcohol getting to Dash and causing her to be overly friendly, boarding romantic, but still ultimately harmless, or if there was genuine romantic feelings behind her actions towards Fluttershy.

The ending sentence sort of ended with Fluttershy concluding that, as nice as it was, it probably didn't mean anything, and if it did, Dash wouldn't remember.

If I get enough requests for it, I'll probably end up penning a "sequel", but in meantime this is just stand alone, it's up the reader if Dash and Fluttershy got together after this. Hope that answers your question. Thanks for your comment.


"it's up of the reader"
I really... REALLY hate that sentence...

The reason I read stories is because I want to know what the author of the story (you) made of it...:facehoof:

I suppose I'll have to hope for that sequel then.... :fluttershyouch:


I guess I see your point, and to an extent I agree you. However, the point of this story, at least from my point of view, was to show the seeds of a potential relationship to be planted. To that ends, as the storyteller, I've done my job and shown my "view". This fic wasn't intended to be "wubby-dubby" with the two confessing long held feelings for each other.

There is a connection between the two, but how deep it is is unknown. The fic was more a case of looking at the moment, or the events, that might cause such feelings to suddenly change, causing the metamorphosis from the platonic feelings to romantic.


And you did a good job with that.

However, the story leaves (at least me) without the sense of contentment I usually get when finishing a story... in it's place is a very big: "But I wanna know how the rest goes! with both Rarity and Twilight and between Fluttershy and Dash.

Just an explanation of why....now... waiting time for me :twilightsheepish:

Even though dash was drunk and probably will not remember that, I still count that as fluttershy's first kiss

So awesome. I want more! Dude, you are awesome. I think you should write part II, or at least write more pony fics. Also, what is your book about? (OR at least, what's the name of it so I can look for it if it gets published?) Always willing to help out a fellow writer.

But this story, right, it was amazing. I loved it.

that was good. reading this made me want to go back and read some of the old flutterdash stories i read from way back cus this is my first in months.

i needed this. you sir shall have a fav and a follow for you trouble :twilightsmile:

Well written, well-paced and well handled.

I'm going to have to throw in with the crowd who want a sequel though. Sometimes ambiguous endings make me smile, in others they make me want to pound my head on the keyboard. This one falls into the latter category. Nothing to do with how well written the story is and more my personal attatchment to the subject matter.

Aside from that I have no complaints. This is awesome and you should feel awesome.


Then you shall be happy to know I've nearly finished chapter 1 of a sequel to this. I'm looking to make that story around six chapters long, but I can't fully say until I've hammered out the last few details. I will say, however, that part of the story deals with Rainbow Dash wondering if there was a deeper meaning behind her actions.

Anyway, it was lovely to wake up to your kind remark and wonderful to read (as have all the other comments here). So I shall offer you a very warm thank you and I hope you, and everyone else, continue to enjoy my future work.


I am absolutely overjoyed to hear that a sequel is in the works.

As to the kind remark, thanking me is redundant. You are the one who needs thanking. You've actually written something. So thank you. I'll be watching the metaphorical skies.

*promised to read it at the train station.

Well I for one really enjoyed the ending (didn't think I was going to).
I liked the raritysparke shipping description, that was sweet.
I was kind of thrown by dash being nice to spike (Friendship is witchcraft has really corrupted me).
Overall I felt that the characterisation of Dash and Fluttershy was slightly off centre (though this could just be me being corrupted by outside influences) (sorry :fluttershysad: )

Would like to see more of your work though,
Goodnight and Goodluck



Chapter 1 of the sequel has been written and is currently being edited :twilightsmile:

1169979 Question. Couldn't you just make it chapter 2?


I'll be honest, I did consider that. But the thing is I want to leave this story as a one-short, so the people who just liked it as a one off, can it enjoy it in that regards. Those who wanted a sequel can have that. To put that another way, I'm catering to both parties.

1169991 awwww, i don't wanna wait for 5 hours tho =\
but i will...


Thank you very much, but it won't be out yet :twilightblush: I'm going really spend some time on it, making sure everything is polished, before I release it. Hope you can wait :twilightsheepish:

Very much enjoyed this and am looking forward to the sequel.

Seeing as you seem to be determined for this story to be free of errors - a good and sadly uncommon thing - here's one I noticed:

"But there are those I really admire; like Rarity and Applejack... oh! Twilight, Rarity, of course, and Derpy."

Fluttershy said Rarity twice. Unless that's not a typo and she's just stuttering a bit?


EGADS! I shall correct that at once! Thank you so much :)


:flutterrage::flutterrage:MOAR!!!! MOAR DAMN IT MOAR!!!:flutterrage::flutterrage:


Um... yay and thanks? :derpyderp1:

No... problem....
Too cute....

1173819 You don't know what "HNNNNNNNNG" means?

It's essentially a onomeatapeoa... Blearg. onomatopoeia... I hate that word... For when someone has a heart attack. I'm guessing you've read My LIttle Dashie? Well, when he says his heart explodes, he's having a "heart attack" due to the sheer amount of cuteness or adorableness or D'awwwwww-ness emanating from Dashie. And the longer the HNNNNNNNNG is, the more pronounced and descriptive it is. In other words, when someone says "HNNNNNNG", that's a good thing, because you've made something really cute and adorable.


Ah, I see, I see. That explains a lot. Thank you for taking the time to explain that :twilightsmile:

No problem! I always have time to help a fellow brony!
Not to mention how behind I was when it came to memes when I join this fandom myself.

I absolutely love this! I particularily liked the layout. You did a great job at writing this, and I cant wait to see more of it!

yay:yay: ive been mentioned!:pinkiehappy:

more! more! more! more! we want more!

the story left me hangin. ya, that mean't MORE!


Actually there is a sequel, go and check my profile, it's call "Risks and Consequences" :twilightsmile:

Best fic that I ever read that reminded me of a fic similar to this one!!!:pinkiehappy:

It is about derpy finding Rainbow Dash drunk and they go on a crazy adventure then derpy get kissed by rainbow!:rainbowkiss:

Still faved!!!:heart:
And liked because you deserve one!:twilightsmile:

Meh...its alright. Wait for it... :pinkiehappy: (By the way that means I liked it)

Normaly this kinda stuff is pretty predictable, but this wasnt, could just be the fact that it is 1:30 in the morning but still a good story. :derpytongue2:

This was a cute story; I liked it. A bit melancholy, but still sweet.

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