Joe

by JMDARE

Chapter 50

Joe raised his head and peered out of one of the bushes outside the cafeteria windows. They’d slept quite well but rather than spend the morning in the library they had left it. Twilight Sparkle thought she had done enough research for now and knowing what was planned for lunchtime had given her enough confidence to walk the halls as if she was visiting Royalty, which was nothing more or less than the truth. This, of course, Joe had been told by Spike when they briefly met up again as he was unable to accompany the other two. The no pets on school grounds rule would have been enough problem but there was also Cheerilee to avoid.

And avoiding Cheerilee was why Joe had reluctantly agreed to go outside rather than try to hide in the library. He’d argued that he’d stay amongst the book stacks but Twilight Sparkle had reassured him, faintly insincerely, that it wasn’t that she thought he’d fail to stay hidden, this time, but that she wanted him able to roam and keep eyes, ears, and nose on things. Which meant spending another morning in his usual bush and napping until it was time to transfer himself to these bushes.

Joe had thought he was moving quite cautiously but as he loped past the kitchens on his way he’d heard a piercing whistle. Looking around to that he’d seen Granny Smith and as she threw something underarm to him Joe had leapt and snapped and come back down with a sausage in his mouth. Hoping it was held at a jaunty angle Joe had given Granny Smith another bow and continued on his way. For now he was defying his instincts and still had half the sausage left. He’d not denied those instincts well enough to still have two-thirds.

==

The school cafeteria was beginning to fill up with lunchtime and on one table Flash Sentry was sitting and strumming his guitar. Rarity approached a different table to join the more fashionable students, though she was looking less fashionable today as she had donned a blue jersey with a horseshoe. Then she looked even less so as she slipped on the pony ears that had drawn admiration from Spike. This cue was followed by Rainbow Dash and then Pinkie Pie at the counter, who also began drumming with a tray.

Rarity picked up the rhythm with heel stomps and clapping and then the similarly attired Fluttershy with a pair of glasses. Applejack had not been parted from her hat but had at least pushed it back so her fake ears could be seen and finally Spike reached out of the backpack to start the music. All five of the girls jumped up and began the well-coordinated routine they had rehearsed the previous night. A few students seemed to be enjoying the singing and dancing while most seemed to need to finish being surprised first.

==

Joe had settled back down and begun to hope Twilight Sparkle would manage to avoid classes this afternoon. So far she had so it would be annoying if she was snagged in the final session. This could be awkward if she ran into one of the differences between here and Equestria, or even if she just showed how much greater her knowledge of some things was than high school level. The latter would be more reassuring about her actual age if she wasn’t a genius.

Then Joe heard the music and singing start and hoped this went as well as the ladies had thought it might. Even with dog ears it was hard to hear too much detail from outside but Joe remembered as much of the rehearsal as he’d not napped through, and they had been through the routine a few times by then. The basic thrust seemed to be the magic of friendship, how it crossed differences, and how despite being dissimilar they could work together to help Twilight win the crown since she had helped them see this.

As more music kicked in Joe took a chance of being seen and moved out of the bush to leap straight up. This got him high enough for a look through the window and as he landed and returned to the bush where he’d left his half sausage he sighed. Of course Flash Sentry would play the electric guitar like the charmer he was, but then of course he would be playing it to support Twilight Sparkle like the good bloke he also seemed.

Joe picked up his half sausage, managing to resist eating it rather than just picking it up with his mouth, and began moving around the building, staying close to the walls. As people wandered in and out he heard snatches of conversation and to his surprise he saw a few of them were wearing ears and tails rather than it having just been the girls performing in them, or people having taken them off again after the performance. This seemed to have gone well.

==

Twilight Sparkle and the others walked down the corridor, aside from Spike who continued to have the chance to compare riding in a backpack with riding on the back of a purple unicorn. Ahead of them they saw a happy looking Sunset Shimmer being trailed by the local versions of Snips and Snails. They were annoying in Ponyville but here they seemed to be living down to the ditty Joe had shared, with a threatening look at Spike’s rear, about what little boys were made of.

More relevant in Twilight Sparkle’s opinion had been the information that Joe had heard two sets of footsteps outside the library door and then smelt the same pair of scents there and at the sports field. It seemed fair to assume the feet and smells might have belonged to whoever had taken the video and therefore to Sunset Shimmer’s two cronies. As the others speculated on why Sunset Shimmer was looking so happy when she must know she’d lost Twilight Sparkle smiled at a sudden thought.

She was getting her eye in at telling differences between humans and that these were not fully adult humans. The contrast between Sunset Shimmer, as she assumed an air of tragedy, and Vice Principal Luna, as she was told something terrible had happened, was notable. But even if Joe had had his age reduced as a less drastic way of making him less obtrusive and had, unlike some of the ‘jocks’, become less muscular as well as younger she thought he’d still manage to be more intimidating than Snips and Snails combined.

Though, Twilight Sparkle admitted to herself, even if that would have been useful she was glad he was a dog instead. Some people here she definitely did not want to intimidate and they might have assumed the ‘new girl’ and the ‘new boy’ were together rather than just friends.

==

The school day was winding down and though it had seemed a peaceful afternoon Joe had become rather worried. Twilight Sparkle had not been with the others when they left and the temptation to say more than ‘arf?’ had been great. As Rainbow Dash gave him a quick head rub Fluttershy showed that even here she talked to animals and had explained the situation in simple soothing words. Which made the temptation to speak immense rather than merely great as Joe wanted to ask why Twilight Sparkle needed to go see Vice Principal Luna, and where they were going to meet later and why.

Once the five had left Joe retreated back into his bush and decided an entire afternoon was long enough to leave a half-sausage. That having vanished he began circling the building again, trying to keep to shadows rather than looking like one against the lighter walls. As a pair of students passed him and failed to notice the doggy eyes observing from a bush Joe had to suppress a sigh. It was good to learn what had happened because it was being discussed, it was bad that it had been that major that it was being discussed.

One fear had been that the school authorities had finally noticed the extra student they had wandering about and running for Princess wasn’t actually on the school rolls or attending any classes, and not being enrolled here was a good reason to disbar Twilight Sparkle from her entry. That the decorations for the Fall Formal had been trashed and Twilight Sparkle had been accused seemed less serious, but worth investigating in case a black dog could ‘accidentally stumble’ on some clue to direct the blame the right way.

Joe sped up a little and soon reached the open doors linking the sports field and gymnasium. A listen and a sniff and he slipped inside and had to pause to paw at his nose. If he had smelt this outside the library and at the steps at the footie field then it reeked of it in here. The fresh air blowing in through the doors seemed to have barely diminished the stench, presumably, Snips and Snails had left as they worked up a sweat in their destruction. Though Joe did hope it was that they had left more stench rather than that his nose was becoming more sensitive as he got used to this form. Only a few hours to go though… Joe winced as his thoughts turned from clearing Twilight Sparkle to whether the dance could go ahead tonight. This was impressively thorough vandalism.

He didn’t want to miss Twilight Sparkle at the main entrance so Joe retreated and had barely settled back in ‘his’ bush again when Twilight Sparkle rushed out and away. She seemed very upset, and was moving fast, so Joe loped into motion and tried to look as if he was following rather than chasing. He didn’t want some well meaning passerby to try to save the girl from the dog.

As he should have expected with there being a dance, hopefully, tonight the girls meeting point was the local boutique. Twilight Sparkle rushed past them as well and into the changing room, Joe resisting the temptation to nod to the others and say ‘ladies’ as he followed. Twilight Sparkle looked down at Joe and frowned slightly, but before she could speak Rarity’s voice came from outside the curtain.

“Yes,” Twilight Sparkle called, before she lowered her voice to continue. “Only it’s not okay, if we don’t get the crown tonight then we won’t be able to go back to Equestria for another thirty moons.”

Joe nodded. “I’ve seen the Gym, had just returned from that when had to follow you…”

“Oh, sorry!” Twilight Sparkle said. “I thought you’d have gone ahead here with the others.”

“Gambolling along like a puppy at the heels of this Rainbow Dash you mean?” asked Joe, winking and making it clear he was teasing.

“Maybe,” Twilight Sparkle said, cheering a tiny fraction. Then she sank down. “What are we going to do?”

“Hmm, we tell them the truth,” suggested Spike, “let them know what’s really at stake if you don’t get the crown tonight, they’ll help us figure something out…”

“I… am not that sure,” Joe admitted, “two talking dogs that are a Dragon and a human from a different world and a human that’s really an Alicorn.”

“You said at the sports field we should have faith in them,” said Spike.

Joe considered protesting that he’d actually meant faith that this world’s Rainbow Dash would still help, but that was irrelevant as Spike was right.

“And so we should,” Joe nodded. “These are not the same people as we know on Equestria, and they are not identical, but they are good people and they will help us.”

“But what if they won’t?” worried Twilight Sparkle, turning to look at herself in the mirror and how she looked here. “What if they find out how different I really am?”

“Twilight, these girls rallied around you because they saw what was in your heart,” Spike assured her, “they aren’t going to think differently of you when they find out you are a Pony Princess in Equestria.”

“I’m glad you followed me here Spike,” smiled Twilight Sparkle, turning and giving him a pat.

“Me too,” Spike replied, adding in a teasingly worried tone, “unless of course we get stuck here for another thirty moons.”

“Which would make me very doggy,” shrugged Joe. “Though at least there is one advantage. As if we couldn’t guess without the confirmation the same scent was around the wrecked decorations in the Gym as was near the stairs near the sports field and near the library.”

“More work from Snips and Snails,” Twilight Sparkle grumbled. “And the stairs must be where they took the pictures that they combined with the ones of them wrecking things.”

“Gah, I wondered what evidence there could be against you,” winced Joe. “Little Sons of Bi… actually that isn’t so good an insult since, for now, I literally am one of those.”

“But Flash saved me,” Twilight Sparkle added, her tone changing and her eyes going a little dreamy.

“He found the pictures in the library paper bin with Twilight cut out of them,” explained Spike when Twilight Sparkle didn’t continue and Joe looked to him.

Twilight Sparkle rose to cross to the curtain and Spike and Joe also stood, the latter a little puzzled that their foes had taken ‘cut and paste’ literally and that this had fooled anyone. At least if they’d combined the pictures in a computer they could have adjusted the lighting on Twilight Sparkle from being outside to being inside, and they’d enough skill with computers to produce the video that Joe had resigned himself to never seeing.

As Twilight Sparkle swept the curtain back and stepped out Applejack immediately asked if she was okay. Interrupted slightly by two exclamations of ‘what’ from Pinkie Pie Twilight Sparkle explained that the Fall Formal wasn’t happening tonight because Sunset Shimmer had had Snips and Snails ruin all of Pinkie Pie’s decorations. When she said it had to happen tonight Applejack swept a hand across to Pinkie Pie’s mouth to muffle a third ‘what’.

Twilight Sparkle gathered her courage. “You see…”

“You’re from an alternate world and you're a Pony Princess there and the crown actually has a magical element embedded in it that helps power up other magical elements and without it they won't work anymore and you need them to help protect your magical world and if you don't get the crown tonight you’ll be stuck in this world and won't be able to get back for like a really really long time.”

With each part of the incredible run on sentence from Pinkie Pie the jaws of Twilight Sparkle, Joe, and Spike slackened further. Rainbow Dash seemed to recover faster and, with a slight eye roll, commented that she was pretty sure that wasn’t the reason. But Spike shrugged and replied that Pinkie Pie was pretty much spot on. Him being able to talk seemed much more popular with Fluttershy than with Rarity. The latter clasped her fists to her temples while, when Spike boasted that he was actually a Dragon, the former shoved her face into his to demand he tell her what he was thinking.

Seeing the rather creepy expression on Fluttershy’s face Joe knew what he’d have been thinking. And what he was thinking was that he was glad he’d been considered boring in Equestria and had not drawn that level of attention. Even when the Fluttershy there had decided she should find out more about humans it had been in a rather quiet pleasant way.

Escaping Fluttershy, and further disturbing Rarity, Spike’s reply was to saunter over to Rarity and say he’d love a scratch behind the old ears. When all she did was stare at him and say ‘gaaaahaahhh’ Spike commented maybe later. Looking at this Joe gave a doggy grin.

“Wait,” commented Joe, breaking his silence, “he can sit on laps and ask for ear scritching, but I get death-glares for playing football?”

“Socc…er,” Rainbow Dash corrected, her eyes narrowing suspiciously as the last part of the word became an ‘er’ in itself. “You can talk as well? So I suppose you’re not a dog either then, so what are you?”

“Still taller than Spike.”

“Hey!” Spike protested.

“Arurr, rahrrahhhah. * Sorry, diverting question. *”

“Grrr,” Spike replied with untranslatable expletives. But despite his annoyance he knew why Joe would be embarrassed. His friend had taken weeks to get over the shock of Equestria and even after living there for months he’d had his problem with the idea of romance with a Pony. So judging from that, and how shocked Rarity here was that he could even speak, it seemed these girls would regard Joe being a human involved with a Pony as rather… weird.

“You are talking when you do that as well!” accused Fluttershy.

“Yes, but sorry Fluttershy,” Joe said, getting a disappointed nod from her as he continued. “We’ve not tried talking to other dogs and are pretty sure it’s just us and not really being dogs.”

“Which doesn’t answer what you really are,” grumbled Rainbow Dash.

Twilight Sparkle had watched the byplay as she recovered. Having Pinkie Pie interrupt like that had been like being halfway through a sneeze, you had prepared and tensed and expected the release but then been denied the last. She looked at the pink haired girl in disbelief for a moment more before she managed to ask how she’d known all that. A reply that it was just a hunch did not do more than suggest that even if Twilight Sparkle had been denied her magic this Pinkie Pie had not been denied the same inexplicable powers and ‘Pinkie Sense’ as her Equestria counterpart.

“Wait a minute,” Applejack asked, focussing on what seemed important to her, “let me get this straight, you’re a Pony?”

“You’re a Princess?” asked Rarity, doing the same.

“You’re from another world?” Fluttershy asked, glancing at Spike who still seemed more fascinating.

“A very nice one,” nodded Joe.

Twilight Sparkle blushed. “Uh-huh.”

“That is…” Rainbow Dash said, staring at her until she suddenly grinned, “awesome!”

The five girls descended on their new, Pony, friend and began to happily chatter to each other as they hugged. Sitting off to one side the two sorta-dogs looked at each other.

“See, told you,” commented Spike.

“Never doubted it for a moment,” Joe nodded, then deliberately rubbing his muzzle with a paw and saying ‘ahem’ to show he was lying.

==

The walk back to the school and the Gym was filled by more light conversation, which ended as they saw the results of Snips and Snails’ efforts. Even Joe, who’d seen it before, thought it looked worse now he was looking at how much work would need to be done rather than for clues. They moved in and started looking around and Joe had to restrain a comment about how Fluttershy’s cottage had looked after Rainbow Dash was petsitting. He knew, and had said, these weren’t the same people as the ponyfolk but listening to their voices and banter it was easy to slip and refer to something from Equestria.

Rarity drew herself up. “I simply cannot believe they did all this...”

“If I only had some sort of Party Cannon,” Pinkie Pie mused, surprising the off-world trio again, “that could decorate everything superfast.”

“I know it seems impossible,” admitted Twilight Sparkle, “but maybe if we all work together?”

“Now that's the sort of can do spirit that ah’m looking for in a Fall Formal Princess,” Applejack agreed. “Let's do it y’all.”

The five agreed and brought their hands together and after a moment of nerves, or to understand the gesture, Twilight Sparkle brought her hand to join those of her new friends. Then mutual affirmation over she went to get some cleaning supplies, a bundle of brooms for her and a bucket each for Spike and Joe to carry in their contrasting styles. Spike had gone bipedal to wrap his forelegs around his while Joe feeing doggy enough, and was large enough, that he was holding the handle of his in his jaws.

There was even more contrast in how the five girls accepted their brooms. Rainbow Dash took the chance to twirl it and make Joe feel unimpressed by his own quarterstaff skills. Applejack just caught hers. Rarity caught and then looked disgusted as she realised the prospect of dirt. Pinkie Pie showed her enthusiasm with a little hop after catching hers. And Fluttershy didn’t catch hers at all, she turned away from it and let the handle bounce off her head. Which looked painful as well as not very helpful.

As they tided and swept up debris Spike began following Rarity about. Joe shook his head at this and gave Twilight Sparkle a ‘you warned me?’ look before seeing just how well suited a dog shape was to tidying. He was glad that he was a ‘proper’ dog but at the moment it seemed that being one of the long furred and short legged breeds unkindly called ‘dust mops’ might have allowed him to test the truth of that nickname. As Twilight Sparkle struggled to move a table a pair of lads noticed her effort through the open door. Taking the sensible chance to help a pretty girl and, especially in the case of the large jock, flex their muscles they came in to assist. Unfortunately for them their display of strength, one at each end of the table, was undercut when Applejack wandered past carrying the same sort of table comfortably under one arm.

Time passed and more students noticed what was going on and joined in the redecorating. With the extra eyes Joe and Spike had to be careful to not look too smart, or in Spike’s case too adorable as they wanted the girls working rather than cooing over him. Though Spike might not have minded much as he was learning the advantage of being a ‘cute doggy’.

The faction lines seemed to have split as each group used their own skills to support the others in mutual teamwork. While trying to figure out what he could do and how that differed from what he could be seen to do Joe noticed Twilight Sparkle and Flash Sentry bump into each other again, and the extra bout of mutual chemistry and blushes and smiles. On reflection he did seem well named as you saw the Flash part first and then there was also the solid reliable protective elements of a Sentry.

“This looks soooo gooood!” Pinkie Pie declared, surveying the results.

Principal Celestia clapped for attention and as students turned, and Joe tried to stay low, she spoke. “All right everyone, Fall Formal is back on for this evening.” After a pause for the cheering she continued. “So you had better get out of here and start getting ready, and don't forget to cast your ballots for Fall Formal Princess on your way out.”

Although he was hanging well back the sensitivity of his doggy ears let Joe hear various students saying that Twilight Sparkle had their vote. It would have been nice to not immediately wonder what was going to go wrong now, but it was still nice that Joe didn’t think he could think of anything. The Gym was redecorated and wouldn’t be so easily vandalised a second time and it seemed the votes were going the way they’d hope. Fluttershy said she couldn’t believe they’d managed, to which Rainbow Dash reminded her they were awesome. Then Rarity got down to business and that they needed to look fabulous.

==

With the satisfaction of what they achieved rather than the fears they’d all felt, except probably Rainbow Dash, about if they would manage the return trip to the boutique was an even happier one. Inside Joe and Spike settled themselves in the main room while the five locals began dressing and being chivvied into shape by Rarity. As Spike began trying some fake moustaches, and admiring the different results, Joe raised his head from his paws to give him a doggy grin.

“I miss my beard,” Joe admitted, “even if dog whiskers seem more useful. And the magic could at least have made me a bearded collie rather than a mutt so I could have both.”

“What?” asked Rainbow Dash, pausing as she walked past.

Joe transferred the doggy grin to her. He was starting to like this Rainbow Dash but in the same way as he’d like a younger sister of ‘his’. Partially in her own right and partially because she shared things he liked about her older sibling. Although it had been done to swap sisters the more Joe liked this Rainbow Dash the more he detested the idea of treating her as a substitute, and the firmer his conviction that he didn’t want a substitute.

“Nothing,” Joe replied, getting a slight frown and nod from Rainbow Dash.

Rarity had some jewellery that resembled the Elements of Harmony and, even with all the parallels here and those being reasonably normal shapes, this was another mild surprise. A more important task for the off-world trio was compliment the others, Spike and Joe making polite comments while Twilight Sparkle applauded. Then the latter was snagged and subjected to the sort of full beautification that Rarity in any world was happy to provide. Spike and Joe added their compliments to the others and then they all went outside for a limo ride back to the school.

As they got out of the limousine Joe tapped Twilight Sparkle’s leg, very lightly, so she paused a moment as they hung back nearer the car and the others went ahead. “I’m going to try to stay out of sight,” Joe said, getting a nod, “avoid Cheerilee seeing me, again.”

Twilight Sparkle began up the stairs with a lot more grace than her first attempt on her first day and Joe padded away into the nighttime shadows. He paused though as he heard the engine of a sports car and, when he turned and saw the lightning bolts along either side, he was not surprised when Flash Sentry got out. It would have been more surprise had he arrived in something smaller and cheaper to insure. Joe watched as Flash Sentry bounded up the steps, talked to Twilight Sparkle, and then Joe smiled as she slammed him into the closed door when they went arm in arm and she entered the open one. He’d nothing against the fellow, and they owed him for the help with the pictures, but it was still funny and was good to see that sudden pain didn’t dent his charm.

==

As the Fall Formal got into full swing Joe wasn’t sure it was particularly formal. If the Garden Party or the Grand Galloping Gala back in Canterlot had been this much of a party then he also wasn’t sure what his friends could have done to disrupt them. Taking advantage of the doors outside having been left open for more air Joe had slipped inside to position himself near the stage and he thought he’d caught glimpses through the dancing legs of Spike in the little top hat and jacket they’d crammed him into in the limo. That it had been Rarity cramming had made Spike’s resistance minimal.

Now, although he was sure it was perfectly nice music, Joe had decided to put his paws over his ears. These were more sensitive now and this was a lot louder than he’d been playing music in the library. And even at the volume in the library and with music he’d chosen he’d had a few problems enjoying it as he could hear sounds above and below what he was supposed to.

The music stopped and Joe pulled back further into the shadows near the steps up onto the stage, then resorted to puppy eyes when Principal Celestia noticed him anyway. She gave a little headshake and continued onto the stage where she said how wonderful everything looked and what a magnificent job they had done after earlier. Joe had to resist the temptation to peek as Principal Celestia continued and announced Twilight Sparkle was the Princess and congratulated her. It seemed they had won but then Joe heard a voice he didn’t expect to hear in public here.

“Twilight, help!” Spike called.

“Spike?” asked Twilight Sparkle, looking and seeing her ‘little brother’ struggling with Snips and Snails as they dognapped him. “They’ve got Spike!”

Twilight Sparkle and the others dashed off in pursuit and Joe also chased, but he went back out the doors onto the sports field. That was less distance to try to weave between legs across and meant no doors in the way. But as he began to circle the building he wasn’t sure if it was thought or instinct guiding him. He could feel wolf instincts to rend and tear rising, and did wonder if he should have stayed with the others, but it right to go round to the side, like the out runner of the pack. To take advantage of being a black dog in the night, even if this was well moonlit.

As Joe closed in on the front of the building he realised his doggy ears could hear snatches of words and that the others had caught up enough to be talking to Sunset Shimmer. Part of him wondered if that showed Sunset Shimmer had wanted them to catch up and had lured them into a trap, which made his indirect route the better one. Most of him said that he was taking too long and he forced more effort and more speed from himself. The harder his breath came and the closer he crept and had to concentrate on not growling, as he skirted patches of light to circle around to the rear of the enemy pack, the harder understand words become, is enemy, so must bite, so not talk, bite…

Cannot get pack leader. Packmates in way and would warn if try to go other side round thing in way. Pack leader talking and threaten portal with thing in hands. Pack leader say not all night, that portal close in less than hour. That enough time to bite her. Pack leader demand answer from own pack leader, or at least alpha-female. Own leader looking scorn.

==

“No,” Twilight Sparkle said.

“What?” asked Sunset Shimmer in disbelief as she waggled her sledgehammer. “Equestria, your friends, lost to you forever, don’t you see what I'm about to do to the portal?”

“Yes, but I’ve also seen what you've been able to do here without magic,” Twilight Sparkle replied. “Equestria will find a way to survive without my Element of Harmony, this place might not if I allow it to fall into your hands.”

A bloodcurdling and rippling snarl came from behind Snips and Snails, who turned to see a medium sized black dog with all its fur on end and froth around its muzzle and bared teeth. Joe snarled again to intimidate the enemy pack subordinates and regained enough control to form words and thoughts.

“I… agree,” Joe breathed, snarling again before he could continue. “Deny. Her.”

“What the…” Snips said, looking to Snails and being very glad that was not the dog they’d needed to snatch.

Sunset Shimmer glanced between Twilight Sparkle and this unexpected new arrival. There had been rumours of a black dog around the school over the last few days, padding its way back and forth or napping not quite as well concealed in a bush as it might think. But that it was, barely, talking suggested its arrival and that of Twilight Sparkle was not coincidence. She failed to prevent the thought occurring that if she did smash the portal, which would be a stupid thing to do anyway, there would be nothing to discourage this dog from trying to tear her throat out.

“So go ahead,” Twilight Sparkle continued, “destroy the Portal, you are not getting this crown.”

“Fine, you win,” shrugged Sunset Shimmer, giving up on her bluff and on her sledgehammer. With the dog there she’d feel more secure with it still in her hands but if she was going to reverse the apparent defeat she needed to look defeated and harmless. Snips and Snails dodged as the sledgehammer almost hit them, but returned their attention to the ravening mutt and whether it had crept a little closer.

Portal not in danger, can now bite. Portal not in danger, not need to bite. But do need to bite. But don’t have to bite as pack leader… Joe took a breath. As Sunset Shimmer doesn’t have the crown, or Spike, or her sledgehammer. Instincts say need to bite, some intellect says be a good thing to end the threat, most of mind says enemy defeated so can relax. Maybe too easy after all problems. Others can judge better. Joe sank down, his chin going on his paws and his eyes closing, to concentrate on his breathing and try to reduce the pounding in his ears. His own temper had resonated with the wolf instincts so he needed to be calm, hold onto his sanity and force those instincts down, and remember who he was and that this would soon be over. A few farewells and then into the portal even, though he expected it would take longer.

The local girls started to congratulate Twilight Sparkle on being awesome and how they couldn’t believe she was going to do that for them. Twilight Sparkle glanced across at Joe, who looked to have settled like Winona did between commands from Applejack when herding sheep, and felt guilty. They didn’t seem to realise how much they should be praising him as he’d just agreed to accept, almost certainly, becoming a dog in mind as well as body. He looked fine for now though, and to check on him or go and praise him would need them to get past Sunset Shimmer and Snips and Snails.

Distracted by her thoughts and her guilt Twilight Sparkle barely heard Sunset Shimmer’s sneer about her being so very special so the attack was a surprise. As much as she had become used to walking on two legs she felt herself falling and the crown falling from her head as the other Equestrian sprang forward to take by force what trickery and threats had not gained her. Working on the basis that other humans were probably some of the things human hands were meant to hold Twilight Sparkle grabbed and wrestled.

Reacting fast Spike dashed towards the crown and, with an uncharitable hope that he’d make Sunset Shimmer’s scalp bleed like he had Joe’s by standing on it as a Dragon, he jumped on her head to use it as a springboard while Twilight Sparkle hang onto one leg to prevent her reaching the crown. Spike’s jaws closed and his short legs sped him on his way and, seeing her prize escaping from almost close enough to have brushed it with her fingertips, Sunset Shimmer twisted in Twilight Sparkle’s grasp to call to her minions.

“Grab him, you fools!”

This call and the stupid noises of acknowledgement Snips and Snails made as they turned their attention to the small purple dog rather than the, seemingly quiescent, larger black one were enough to pierce Joe’s haze. He opened his eyes and raised his head a fraction. There were those two running that way, there was Sunset Shimmer, and there was Spike fleeing with the crown. For a moment Joe almost closed his eyes again as he had faith in the others. It was six versus three, still six versus three if he discounted Fluttershy and included Spike, and with the strength and speed Applejack and Rainbow Dash had shown he’d back them against Snips and Snails any day.

But the two boys did seem vicious little thugs and… Joe tried to take some humour that he was about to think ‘it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog’ when he’d proven it. Seemed like Spike had more fight in his smaller form than he had in his larger one so, with a slight lurch, Joe rose to his paws and set off in chase of the foe as they chased his ally. Ahead of him Spike seemed to have decided inside was safer but had forgotten the problem he’d have with doors.

Spike gave the door another quick scrabble at and then seeing how close Snips and Snails were getting, and remembering how easily they’d dealt with him, he threw the crown to Rainbow Dash. The two boys turned in pursuit and, proving her strength and speed, she briefly wrestled them away to give herself time to throw the crown on to Fluttershy, who turned and let it bounce off her head but managed to turn back in time to catch it anyway. As Rainbow Dash held Snails off there was a sudden black blur and Snails crumpled around the impact of black furred dog skull in his side.

Joe managed to stay on top of Snails as the boy went to the ground and, planting his paws on the boy’s chest and a little dazed by the impact, bared his teeth as he looked down and their eyes met. “I’m going to bite your face off, nobody touches her.”

As Snips and Sunset Shimmer ignored their friend or minion’s plight and dashed towards the now fear-frozen Fluttershy Rainbow Dash took a chance of being snapped at and grabbed two handfuls of slightly shaggy dog scruff to haul Joe away. He struggled a little, and when he looked at her his eyes were wild, but then he blinked and they became more normal. He nodded to her.

“Nobody touches her?” Rainbow Dash asked, releasing Joe. “There something you want to tell me?”

“Not really,” replied Joe, taking a deep breath and glowering at the retreating Snails, “but worlds can have parallels, and you are lovely in any world.”

“Er, thanks.”

“And thank you,” nodded Joe. “I nearly lost myself to instinct.”

Rainbow Dash decided to not ask if that was dog instinct or ‘get away from my girl’ instinct. Hearing the snarl Joe had announced his presence with here had been almost as much of a shock as hearing the friendly, rather soppy looking, dog begin speaking in quite a posh accent back at the boutique. Instead she began running after Snails as he tried to catch up with his allies, and as Fluttershy continued to just stand there. Joe hesitated and then followed, he’d surprised himself as he’d not thought he’d hit his head that hard and had thought he’d got himself more back under control.

A rope settled around Fluttershy as Applejack lassoed her but, as she was pulled clear, she lost her grip on the crown and Snips managed to catch it. The pudgier minion raised it in triumph and Pinkie Pie appeared from somewhere to take it and hand it to Applejack, who transferred it to Rarity, who threw it to Twilight Sparkle. Unfortunately when Snips and Snails charged at her and she threw the crown this accidentally went to Sunset Shimmer. Joe let out a small whine at this as it seemed to him that if they were going to play any game it should be full contact rather than touch. And as little stirred as he had been by them it would be a more attractive pile if Twilight Sparkle had dropped and her friends had ‘bound on’ than when large quantities of Rugby players piled on top of the man with the ball.

“I’ll take that, at last!” Sunset Shimmer crowed. Twilight Sparkle gathered Spike up in her arms and Joe reluctantly obeyed as Rainbow Dash waved him back, though he wondered if this obedience was just as much transferred feelings as the earlier battle rage. “More power than I could ever imagine.”

Sunset Shimmer crowned herself and rings of aqua coloured magical power began rippling down around her before a column of white light flared up around her and she began to lift from the ground. Flames of aqua erupted around the base of this column and more aqua light pulsed at the top of it as it vanished. Sunset Shimmer convulsed in a patch of shadow within the column, whirling as she transformed and grew to two or three times her previous height. The size change was only a small part of it though.

It was hard to see until the magic faded but as it did it became apparent that her skin had shaded to red, the whites of her eyes had turned black, and bat wings had sprouted from her back. Her ears had extended into the sort of horizontal pointy ones some artists gave Elves but they appeared tattered and as she smiled in triumph she showed her teeth had become even pointier than her ears.

The change in her outfit and hairstyle seemed minor, though Joe was glad that her outfit had changed with her rather than tearing away from her as he had no interest in seeing her bits. She was now wearing a flame coloured dress with a jagged flame coloured thing that Joe wasn’t sure whether was a horsetail or a decoration from the belt. To complete the theme of flames her hair was now sweeping straight up into a flame shape and had also gained those colours.

Joe had heard a quote ‘chap with wings, five rounds rapid’ and he’d read an adaptation ‘big red thing, five rounds rapid’ so he supposed combining the two into ‘big red thing with wings, ten rounds rapid’ would be a fair plan, if he had any soldiers. Then he’d just enough time to decide that doggy instincts were easier to control, or maybe the doggy desire to put your belly to the ground and whimper was easier than the one to tear out throats, before the crown and Sunset Shimmer’s hands glowed with more aqua power. This streaked across and into Snips and Snails who underwent a briefer transformation though barely less thorough as they also assumed a more demonic form.

Like their mistress their hair became pointy and vertical and they had gained bat wings. Their clothes had turned into simple black suits that left their shoulders bare, accented in orange for Snips and blue for Snails, and though their ears had become pointy they were not extending horizontally and did not seem ragged. Their grins of triumph hinted that they now had forked tongues to complete their transformation.

“This is going to be so cool,” Snails declared.

Snips looked at Joe. “You said you were going to bite my face off?”

“Grrr,” Joe replied, though he’d prefer his spear and the hands to hold it his teeth were still bigger, “still might.”

Snips and Snails began to advance and the girls and Joe and Spike to retreat, Spike having no choice in the matter until he managed to get down from Twilight Sparkle’s arms. Cries of surprise from the school entrance distracted Sunset Shimmer and, rather than attack, Snips and Snails just moved to join her. She began ranting as she landed about the trouble she’d been through to get this crown, then a glow surrounded her hand and the front of the school and as she clasped her fist the latter collapsed as it was crushed in her magical grasp. Sunset Shimmer waved her hand and the debris she’d created went off to one side as she told the students they would be loyal to her.

“I was going to ask if anyone had a tank,” Joe commented, thinking partially of the story he’d mentioned to ‘his’ Rainbow Dash and partially of tabletop wargaming, “but I think she could flip one…”

“A rocket launcher worked against one demon,” suggested Rainbow Dash.

“No weapon forged by man,” Joe nodded, hoping he was remembering the right thing, “and that wasn’t forged.”

Rainbow Dash blinked. Someone from an alternate world of talking ponies referring to a tank was bizarre enough, but him getting a pop culture reference?

“Darlings, this is all very interesting,” Rarity chided them gently, “but we don’t have a tank and we don’t have any sort of firearms…”

The sound of screaming reached them as Sunset Shimmer flapped in through the newly enlarged entrance and they saw the students’ attempts to flee ended as aqua rings formed and fell on their heads. Their eyes also glowed aqua as they went slack jawed and drooling and began to wobble on their feet.

“Round them up and bring them to the portal back,” Sunset Shimmer ordered then, as Snips and Snails moved to obey, she turned her attention back to Twilight Sparkle. “Spoiler alert,” she sneered, “I was bluffing when I said I was going to destroy the portal. I don't want to rule this pathetic little High School, I want Equestria and with my own little teenage army behind me…” She gestured to them with Snips and Snails hovering above. “I’m going to get it!”

“She thinks she’s going to conquer Equestria with Zombies?” blinked Joe. They might only have Party Cannons rather than Cannon but they had spears and armour and living Goddesses and…

“She’s killed them?” Fluttershy gasped.

“Sorry,” said Joe, trying to be reassuring, “I was thinking more the sense of a living person confused and enslaved.” He sniffed and decided there wasn’t any hint of excrement as there would be if the bowels had released in death, but also decided to not say what he had sniffed for. “They still smell the same, though it is difficult to smell anything over Sunset Shimmer.”

“Which ain’t a new thing, honey bun,” Applejack commented. “Even when she weren’t all demon-like she was a mite heavy on the perfume.”

Joe nodded and as he felt his shock wearing off and the aggressive instincts returning he tried to distract himself by thinking more clinically. And tried to concentrate on that rather than wishing he was talking rather than thinking and was talking with ‘his’ Rainbow Dash as he had when considering Ponies versus something or humans versus something before. Equestria ponies were magically strong, but were these humans? Applejack was strong carrying that table… Joe took another deep breath… and Flash Sentry jumped those steps. But… enemy there, bite it… might be just them. Mirror portal closing soon so… portal is too small for… Joe gave up and concentrated on breathing and listening.

Twilight Sparkle’s eyes widened as she caught sight of the zombiefied Flash Sentry. “You’ll not get Equestria!” she shouted, squaring up.

“Oh please,” Sunset Shimmer mocked, “what exactly do you think you’re going to do to stop me? I have magic and you have nothing!”

“She has us!” declared Rainbow Dash as she and the other girls rushed forward to join their friend.

Joe glanced to Spike as they padded forward to join the six ladies. “Aruuuuu… * Been nice knowing you Spike… *”

“Grrrar… * Not dead yet… *”

“Grruff, rrggrhff… * I notice you said yet, but let's die well… *” Joe replied, baring his teeth in a snarl and smile. “Grarrrfffrr. * Valhalla and all that. *”

“See, the gang really is all back together again,” chuckled Sunset Shimmer, gathering her magic. Her hair seemed to become literal flame as it flickered and the colours began to play up it, and energy crackled from her hands in streams to gather in a ball between them. “Now, step aside… Twilight has tried to interfere with my plans one too many times already…” The ball of magic had grown huge. “She needs to be dealt with.”

Sunset Shimmer released the magic ball and the five girls flung themselves in to hug Twilight Sparkle. Joe and Spike had been moving up on one flank, and been a little further back, so as they lunged in to add themselves to the human shield the magic ball struck and the concussion flung them away again. Once he’d finished bouncing and rolling Joe wobbly raised his head. Then he blinked.

Sunset Shimmers evil cackling broke off as she did a double take. “What?”

“Glowy sparkles?” Joe commented insightfully, shaking his head a little. “Well, I am sure that is a nice colour, if not for doggy eyes…”

The purple glow continued to surround Twilight Sparkle as she stood and pointed at the shocked Sunset Shimmer. “The magic contained in my Element was able to unite with those that helped create it.”

As Twilight Sparkle spoke the crown glowed purple rather than aqua and Sunset Shimmer’s eyes crossed as she tried to look up at the centre of her own forehead at the wobbly purple line of magic that had begun flowing from the crown.

Staggering slightly Joe got himself across to Spike who’d been a little closer, or a little quicker to react. “Hup, my friend.”

“Ow, careful of the teeth,” Spike complained as he was lifted by the scruff, “and we’ve got to help Twilight.”

“Getting beyond us,” replied Joe in a rather muffled manner, since he had a smaller dog in his mouth, “duel of mages.”

As Joe moved there was a large pulse of white light and Twilight Sparkle continued to speak.

“Honesty, Kindness…” Twilight Sparkle began, and as she continued through laughter, generosity, and loyalty each of her friends acquired Pony-like ears, their hair lengthened to flow far enough down past their rears to look almost like tails, and Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash gained their feathered wings.

“Yeee…” Joe commented.

“Ow,” said Spike, being dropped.

“Sorry,” Joe said, picking him up and muffling his words again, “I couldn’t help but go slack jawed.”

“…Magic,” continued Twilight Sparkle, gaining her own wings. “Together with the crown they create a power beyond anything you could imagine. But it is a power you don't have the ability to control...”

Joe angled his course to the side, trying to get a better view as well as out of the line of fire. He could see the magic was continuing to flow into the ladies and could see Sunset Shimmer trying to break the flow as she shook her head around and clasped her hands to it. This had been a surprising reversal and almost made up for being a dog, and unable to have simply punched Snips and Snails and kept them from the crown that way.

“The Crown may be upon your head Sunset Shimmer, but you cannot wield it,” explained Twilight Sparkle, “because you do not possess the most powerful magic of all… the magic of friendship”

Twilight Sparkle linked hands into a heart shape and began to float up into the air with a white aura around them.

“Yelp!”

“Sorry,” Joe apologised again, sounding muffled before he put Spike down. “I tried to not let my jaw slack, and went the other way…”

“Ssssshhhh!” replied Spike, eyes glinting in anticipation. “Watch this!”

A rainbow double helix streaked up from the ladies so the two spirals linked together into a single brilliant white glow. Then from that glow a rainbow curved down at Sunset Shimmer as she spluttered and protested this turn of events. Rather than strike her directly, as Spike expected from his experience witnessing the Elements of Harmony, it ended below her to form another white glow. From this sprouted a single rainbow spiral that began to wrap itself around Sunset Shimmer in the same way as Joe had seen ‘his’ Rainbow Dash do to the supposed-Changelings or as ‘his’ Rainbow Dash’s father had shown he’d have been able to do to him.

“What… is… happening?” Sunset Shimmer managed to ask before she was completely engulfed. A glow formed in the mouth of the rainbow tornado and fireworks to streak from it.

“Here, and in Equestria,” concluded Twilight Sparkle, “it is the only magic that can truly unite us all.”

A single rainbow column formed from the united friends, Twilight Sparkle having assumed a position in front of them with the others in a line across behind her. A straight rainbow beam linked them to Flash Sentry, and this ping-ponged off and past him as his eyes cleared and he turned. Their eyes following this beam Joe and Spike had the impression that two more rainbow tornadoes had formed around Snips and Snails to give them the same treatment as whatever it was that Sunset Shimmer was, hopefully, suffering.

Light flared to brilliant white and when this cleared the freed students began to emerge. Joe and Spike could see their friends were unconscious and still had the pony ears and longer hair and Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash still had wings. The two sorta-dogs trotted over and Spike began licking Twilight Sparkle’s face to wake her up. Resisting that doggy instinct Joe started to work his way around the others to plant a paw on their shoulder and shake them lightly. This seemed to work as well and he wasn’t even tempted to ‘slip’ when it came to Rainbow Dash.

As Twilight Sparkle hugged Spike and the others began to sit up Joe looked to where Sunset Shimmer had been. “Now that is a big crater.”

This Rainbow Dash seemed just as keen, now she had wings and the ability to fly, as ‘his’ to stay in the air so Joe moved across to the crater. He didn’t want to risk looking up her skirt and he especially didn’t want Twilight Sparkle to accuse him of doing that. The strain of being on this other world seemed to have made her alert for his mistakes, and in return had made him less tolerant of her pointing them out. Looking down into the crater Joe saw that Sunset Shimmer had reverted to her human form, though not past that to her pony form, and was in the middle of a rising column of smoke.

“You will never rule Equestria,” Twilight Sparkle said, also crossing to the crater’s edge to look down. “Any power you may have had in this world is gone! Tonight you showed everyone who you really are!”

Joe glanced at her and decided to not comment that Twilight Sparkle still had pony ears and wings, so she’d got closer towards showing everyone here who she really was as well. It seemed like Twilight Sparkle was on a roll so it was better to stay quiet.

“You’ve shown them what is in your heart.”

Sunset Shimmer sat up, covered in grazes and scrapes and tears filling her eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she wailed, “I didn't know there was another way.”

Frowning at this Joe stayed tense and quiet. It was quite a turn around and the last time Sunset Shimmer had seemed to be accepting defeat she had then jumped Twilight Sparkle. Sometimes you could scare yourself though, like when you threatened to bite someone’s face off, and having those dark instincts exposed might lead to self-knowledge. But he was still ready to spring and bite if there was a trick as Sunset Shimmer began climbing out of the crater and Twilight Sparkle continued to speak.

“The magic of friendship doesn't just exist in Equestria, it’s everywhere…” Twilight Sparkle said, glancing to the other five, “you can seek it out, or you can forever be alone. The choice is yours.”

“But all I’ve ever done since being here is drive everyone apart,” replied Sunset Shimmer as she reached the top of the crater slope. “I don’t know the first thing about friendship…”

“At least you didn't nearly leave the Elements of Harmony unusable,” Joe commented, feeling the need to speak even if he didn’t feel much need to reassure this girl, “after spending months hiding in a hut.”

Twilight Sparkle helped Sunset Shimmer up and gave a slight nod and smile towards her new friends. “I bet they can teach you.”

“Their counterparts did me,” Joe commented again.

“Grarrh! grrrffrrffrgg, * Shut up! This is Twilight’s conversation, *” said Spike as he joined them.

“Arooggrrfff, grrfgg, * Talking to her reminds me of my mind, eases the urge to bite her, *” Joe replied.

“Aggggrrr! * Still shut up! *” grumbled Spike.

When Joe nodded in agreement Spike moved away again and stood on his hind legs to clap. “Those are my girls, whoohoo!”

“Wait,” one student said, having noticed the brief exchange, “were those dogs just talking? Whoa, weird!”

“Seriously?” commented Spike. “Talking dogs are the weird thing about all this?”

“I for one think you are adorable!” Rarity declared, scooping him up.

“Oh yeah!” said Spike, enjoying the attention and giving Joe a grin.

Joe rolled his eyes at Spike, but he understood why Twilight Sparkle trusted Spike this far and had been concerned about him. Aside from the conversation of eleven days ago, and that she seemed to still be judging things by that standard, there was the fact that Spike was her ‘little brother’ that she’d hatched and raised and who was worthy of her most implicit trust.

“I believe this belongs to you,” Principal Celestia said as she arrived, holding the crown. “A true Princess in any world leads not by forcing others to bow before her…” Twilight Sparkle decided to bow to the counterpart of her mentor anyway. Even if this one was a Principal rather than a Princess it felt right to emulate the way she’d seen Joe bowing back in Equestria. “But by inspiring others to stand with her. We have all seen that you are capable of just that. I hope you see it too, Princess Twilight.”

“I do,” replied Twilight Sparkle.

Briefly she wondered at her reaction of bowing and at Principal Celestia’s words. That rather than demand to know what was going on she had given such reassurances and referred to ‘any world’. However as students cheered, and Spike remained in Rarity’s arms enjoying attention from Fluttershy as well, Twilight Sparkle decided that if Pinkie Pie could have ‘Pinkie Sense’ here then the counterpart of a Goddess could also have extra insight and wisdom. Though maybe not the degree of omniscience that had allowed Princess Celestia to show her scenes from her own life on the star road.

Her thoughts were interrupted as she noticed a very welcome arrival.

“Now,” Flash Sentry said, a touch of uncertainty that Twilight Sparkle found utterly endearing in his voice, “would be a completely awkward time to ask you for that dance…”

Despite her immediate reaction of joy, and relief that even when he’d seen her do such strange things and when she still had the ears and wings of her true form he still wanted to dance with her, Twilight Sparkle didn’t take the offered hand at once. She thought it would have taken her a moment to overcome that joy and relief and surprise anyway but there was something else to consider. She glanced to Joe who was sitting quietly to one side, as usual.

“I know the doggy instincts are…” began Twilight Sparkle.

“Go for it,” Joe assured her, noting how instantly she took the hand as soon as he said that. Although the rest seemed unneeded he continued. “Some more peace and quiet to get myself back together before we return might be better for me, and I’ve an apology to make.”

Twilight Sparkle nodded to this as she took Flash Sentry’s arm and he led her back towards the Gym. The other five and a still contented Spike followed as other students began to cluster around them and marvel at their ears and wings, and ask the simple question of what had just happened. Pinkie Pie launched into the same explanation as before and everyone seemed satisfied enough with this, and that the girls they had known for years were still the same girls, that they went back to partying. And as the local Scootaloo did the chicken dance she was delighted when Rainbow Dash took advantage of her wings to scoop her up for a flight around above the heads of everyone else.

==

Joe had not followed everyone else at once. He was tired of being a dog and wanted to return but he was glad that here, unlike Equestria, he could be more unobtrusive. The students had spent most of the final confrontation in their Sunset Shimmer induced haze and when this had lifted their attention had been on Twilight Sparkle and the other ladies, and then on Spike as he played court from Rarity’s arms. So Joe had been able to slip away into the dark and find a comfortable bush to breathe and think under.

He wasn’t sure how long he spent there and was sufficiently unsure that it was a relief when he finally continued to the Gym, in through the doors to the sports field, and saw Twilight Sparkle. It seemed unlikely that he’d been calming himself long enough to have missed the time to leave and unlikely that he’d have not noticed if she had called for him but two unlikelihoods did not make an impossibility. Joe wandered a little until he saw the floral skirt he was hoping for.

“My apologies Madame,” said Joe, surprising a few people as he spoke and bowed his head, “for attempting to make you doubt your sanity. I panicked as the cause was important…”

“You didn’t clear the browser history,” Cheerilee interrupted.

“Eh?” asked Joe.

“I had the proof of your browsing,” Cheerilee smiled, “and a video with Polish subtitles of a song by a Swedish Heavy Metal band about the Battle of Britain does not seem like something one of my students would be looking at. So that it was being looked at by a dog was not the strangest thing about it.”

“Well they bloody well should do,” replied Joe, a little nettled that his taste in music was being considered stranger than a talking dog.

“Besides,” Cheerilee continued, “it takes more than a polite talking dog to make me insane after years of dealing with students. Especially when the dog is large enough and shaggy enough it could have had a mobile phone concealed on it to provide the speech.”

“Nonetheless I apologise,” bowed Joe again, trying to not be distracted as he saw Twilight Sparkle had begun pony style dancing.

“Accepted.”

As Joe moved away from Cheerilee he saw also that Flash Sentry had joined in with the pony style. This continued kindness and adaptability made Joe wonder if he should have a conversation. He wasn’t sure how well any lad would take being given advice by a dog and even if he’d been in his normal form there was a chance it could go wrong. But when Flash Sentry moved away from the girls and they started to leave Joe summoned his courage, subdued his concern that he was about to be patronising, and moved in for the talk.

“You’ve been good to her, so I don’t have to bite you.”

“What?” Flash Sentry said, tearing his gaze away from the departing Twilight Sparkle and down to the black dog that had appeared at his side.

“I’m no relation to her, but I’m sure you’ve encountered actual big brothers and protective streaks.”

“And what do you mean by that?” asked Flash Sentry, eyes narrowing a fraction.

“You’re a tall handsome bloke who’s charming, plays guitar in a band, and has a sports car,” Joe replied, wishing he had his usual height so he wasn’t being looked down on and his usual fingers to tick points off on. “The sort of boy that makes girls swoon and fathers and brothers wonder if their daughter or sister needs protecting.”

“So you’d have ‘protected’ her from me?”

“I knew how off-balance she was, and I don’t mean having to use two legs rather than four, so I might have let the superficial things fool me. Probably a good thing I got turned into a dog… so thanks for all your help.”

Flash Sentry began to look vaguely baffled. Not only was he having this talk with a dog but he wasn’t sure why the dog couldn’t have just said ‘thank you’ rather than talking about not having to bite him. “She was worth it.”

“And you treated her well enough that not only am I not going to bite you I’m going to warn you.”

“Of?”

“Did she say the portal will be shut for thirty moons?” Joe asked.

“Yeah,” sighed Flash Sentry, sagging slightly, “I’m not going to see her again, or not until then.”

“Not going to see her,” Joe replied, “but from what Pinkie Pie has said there might be a counterpart of Twilight here.”

“But she won’t be the same Twilight as the one I’ve met.”

“Which is why I’m warning you,” Joe nodded. “So you are not surprised if you do see her.”

“Thanks,” nodded Flash Sentry. “It could have been… awkward.”

“Twilight has lectured me about getting confused between counterparts,” Joe continued and admitted, “and I am just as satisfied that you’d not do that as I am that I was not. So I think you’d treat the local Twilight right, as herself, but there is one other thing I like you well enough to warn of…”

“Which is?”

“Back home,” Joe said, pausing as he realised he’d said ‘home’ rather than ‘in Equestria’, “ah, Twilight has a brother. If the parallels hold then so would the one here, and we’d not have seen him as he’s her older brother who’d not be hanging around a high school. And if the parallels continue to hold then he’d be the local equivalent of the former Captain of the Royal Guard.”

Flash Sentry managed a smile. “Be careful or get my legs broken by an ex-military big brother?”

“I don’t think you’d need that motivation,” Joe replied, giving a doggy grin back, “or I’d have let that part be a surprise. But I’d better catch up…”

==

Although the front doors had been ‘removed’ there was still the door into the rest of the building from the Gym and still the problem of having to get between all those dancing legs. So Joe had gone back out around the building again and as he reached the front and saw Sunset Shimmer peeking around the edge of the shattered wall he decided that had been a good choice. Although it felt like he’d filled his quota of advice and threats for the day he wasn’t sure if he could have passed without some comment.

The girls were locked in another group hug and as Joe approached and heard Twilight Sparkle confirming that they would look out for Sunset Shimmer he silently agreed that they should, though he felt more in the way you looked out for a bus when crossing the road.

“Of course we will,” Rarity agreed, adding, “although I do expect some sort of apology for last spring’s debacle.”

Twilight Sparkle glanced across to the shattered entrance as Vice Principal Luna handed Sunset Shimmer a trowel and Snips and Snails arrived with a load of bricks. “I have a feeling she’ll be handing out a lot of apologies.”

“We’d better get going,” Spike added, “now Joe is here.”

“I know we’ve only been friends for a short time,” smiled Twilight Sparkle to the others, “but I’m going to miss all of you so much.”

Then Twilight Sparkle began towards the plinth and portal, Spike immediately following, and Joe giving them a pony style bow first. Then after a few steps following Twilight Sparkle the bowing reminded him of something, and he stopped and turned back.

“Applejack, if that is your Grandmother who works in the kitchens…”

“It is,” Applejack confirmed.

“Then please thank her for giving sausages to a hungry mutt. Both of them were appreciated.”

“Will do, sugar cube.”

Joe nodded, turned, and trotted to catch up with the other two.

“That crown really does suit you, Princess Twilight,” Spike said, as Joe fell in on the other side of her.

“You know what Spike,” admitted Twilight Sparkle, “I am starting to feel a little more comfortable wearing it.”

“And the wings?” Spike asked.

“I’ve been walking on two legs and picking things up with these...” began Twilight Sparkle, before she glanced at Joe as she gestured with a hand. She was making it sound as if wings were not as bad as being what Joe was normally, which was true for her but sounded impolite.

“And I’ve not been,” Joe said with a doggy shrug. “Depends what you're used to.”

“And I am used to the other,” nodded Twilight Sparkle, mildly relieved he understood, “so I’m thrilled that wings are all I'll be dealing with back in Equestria.”

They entered the portal and unseen by them behind them the moon of the other world briefly pulsed with extra light as the portal closed and the five girls lost their pony like properties. This was disappointing for Pinkie Pie and a little painful for Rainbow Dash as she was in mid air when her wings vanished.

==

The world swirled and as it reformed Twilight Sparkle was glad. Glad she’d not passed out on the return trip. Glad that her friends were there waiting for her. And very glad that she was suddenly wobblier on her back legs and that as she came down she landed on hooves. As they greeted her Joe came through the portal on all fours and had a similar problem of suddenly mismatched limbs and posture. His hand slipped on the smooth stone and he rolled down the step from the mirror with a thump.

“Ow,” Joe commented as he looked at himself. Rainbow Dash was also looking at him so he gave her a smile, which she returned, to reassure her that he was okay and to show how glad he was to see her again.

“Sunset Shimmer,” asked Princess Celestia, “is she alright?”

“I think she’s going to be fine,” Twilight Sparkle smiled. “I left her in good hands...”

“Hands?” asked Rainbow Dash, exchanging a glance with Rarity. “Like Joe’s?”

“Not like mine while I was there…” Joe began, but that was when Spike arrived. Twilight Sparkle had dodged slightly to one side at Joe’s arrival so the, now-restored, Dragon continued on to hit Joe between the shoulder blades. “Ooooffff!”

“What do you mean not like yours while you were there?” asked Rainbow Dash as Joe coughed a few times.

“With respect, Your Majesty,” Joe said, answering his marefriend indirectly as he looked at Princess Celestia, “you could have mentioned I was going to get turned into a dog and Twilight a purple skinned human.”

Princess Celestia blinked very slightly before she restored her regal calm. “Would it have made any difference had you been warned, or had you remained human while you were there?”

“I’d have still gone,” Joe shrugged, “I’d have still come back, and I’m not sure it affected how much help I could be. Though it did affect what sort of help I could provide.”

Rainbow Dash was still looking at Joe. Talk of Twilight Sparkle being turned into a human and that Joe could have remained one was worrying. He’d said he would still have come back but she had to wonder if being turned into a dog had forced him to pass up a chance to return home. And what if she had followed Spike’s example and joined him and been turned into a human like Twilight Sparkle had? Everything had seemed to be working between them at Fluttershy’s cottage, and she wouldn’t have wanted to move to his world, but would he have been happier living there with her like that?

Seeing how worried Rainbow Dash was looking Spike tried to advise Joe of this, but he forgot he was back to being a dragon. “Aruff….”

“Spike, darling,” Rarity asked as the advice turned into a bout of coughing, “did you just try to bark?”

“He was a dog there as well,” smiled Joe, looking to her as Spike recovered, “and we found we could bark to each other as well as talk.”

“I hoped that would be useful,” Princess Celestia commented. Everyone blinked at her and she smiled. “Oh, come now… you don’t think Spike’s dash for the mirror was a surprise, or that I could not have stopped him?”

“Oh…” said Spike.

“But be at ease Spike,” Princess Celestia said, before turning to the worried blue Pegasus, “and you as well Rainbow Dash, I would have had to stop you so I am pleased you trusted my judgement.” She looked back to Spike. “But I am not insulted or displeased by Spike’s actions.”

“As he was, and is, cuter and smaller,” said Joe, a little belatedly giving his sweetheart another, hopefully, reassuring smile, “he could stay with Twilight…”

With Twilight Sparkle mostly taking over, so Joe and Spike were only commenting on her retelling, the tale of where they had been was told. How Twilight Sparkle had been turned into a schoolgirl and had needed to run for Princess of the Fall Formal to win back the Crown. How Sunset Shimmer as another schoolgirl had tried to prevent this. How Spike had spent his time in Twilight Sparkle’s backpack and Joe spent most of his time napping in bushes. And of all the strange strong parallels to Equestria and that these extended to there even being human counterparts of ponyfolk.

Listening to this Rainbow Dash realised that it had not been Joe’s home world, so that concern eased a fraction. But it was replaced by concern about this other ‘Rainbow Dash’ whose natural shape was the one Joe would have been able to react to without needing to adjust. She reminded herself again that judging from Fluttershy’s cottage he had adjusted but there was still that doubt. In some ways she was feeling the same self-doubt as when the others had created Mare do Well and, although it had taken their combined efforts, she’d been unable to compete.

As she looked at the floor she suddenly felt strong arms wrap around her neck and shoulders, and snuggled gratefully into the hug, extending one wing to put it on his knee as Joe knelt in front of her. He kissed her on top of the head and then whispered to her. She nodded as he suggested they talked later and then blushed a little as he said he wasn’t going to do more than whisper in her ear in front of Royalty, especially after the whack on the nose from her ear flick last time.

“We hoped you’d all be back sooner,” Rarity smiled, her horn glowing as Joe pulled back from Rainbow Dash a fraction and she floated something across to settle on his head, “but at least it gave me time for this.”

Joe took one hand off Rainbow Dash to feel his head. “Hat?”

“We had to do something while we were waiting,” Rarity nodded, as he looked to her, “we all took it in turns to be here, though as it got closer to the portal closing we all congregated.”

“And now I feel guilty,” sighed Joe, taking the slouch hat off and looking at it. “Never occurred to me to bring something back for any of you.”

“I don’t think that would have worked Joe,” Twilight Sparkle reassured him, “or I’d have come back laden with books.”

“Or we might have been able to snag a laptop,” chuckled Joe, deciding it was a shame that world had been so advanced. There had been several years between encyclopaedias being on paper and online, and if that world had been in that interim period they might have been able to snag a CD-ROM encyclopaedia as well. “Still feels like a shame, but this hat looks good and felt to fit well.”

“And now my little ponies,” Princess Celestia said, adding with a smile to the other two, “and Dragon and human, it is time for rest. We have all had a long day and it would take hours for all our questions to be answered.”

“But I will answer them,” whispered Joe to Rainbow Dash, getting a nod against his chest.

With some expressions of disappointment they agreed to leave most of their questions for the morning, though that didn’t stop them from starting to ask some of them as Princess Cadance ushered them from the room. She’d been tempted to use her power of love on Joe and Rainbow Dash but though the human had taken a little long to notice he had not disappointed her with his actions when he had. It was not limited to human males, or even limited to males, to find it harder to show affection in public but that hug seemed to have sufficed.

Princess Celestia watched them go and realised there was a simple solution to her puzzlement. She’d not lied when she’d said Spike’s actions were no surprise, that she could have stopped him, and she’d hoped the ability to speak in barks would be useful. But she hadn’t expected Spike would be using that magic to speak to Joe, and Joe using it to speak to him, as she hadn’t expected Joe to be changed and thus also have the benefit of that aspect of that magic. She swung around and stared intently at a seemingly empty corner.

“Discord.”

“Yes Celly?” Discord asked, from one side of Princess Celestia.

She turned and looked at him, not fooled and not amused. Her perceptions were keen enough that she could tell he had moved in an instant from where she was looking to where he’d appeared. It might amuse the Chaos God to try to make her think she had been looking in the wrong place but it did not her.

“That was your doing, wasn’t it?”

“Of course.”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

“Discord,” Princess Celestia warned.

“You are allowed to use sentences with more than one word you know…”

“Explain yourself.”

“Two words, getting back to normal.”

“Discord!”

“Or not,” Discord shrugged. “What answer do you expect, other than it was another game?”

“Your ‘games’ can be complex, so explain yourself.”

“Very well,” Discord chuckled. “It is so dreary and orderly to repay a debt, and so lovely and chaotic to ignore all obligations, but I won my game against myself and managed the former. And might manage it again or I might not, depends how the whim takes me.”

“Debt?”

“Oh, back to single words,” Discord sighed. “But if you need it explained in simple terms than I shall. My actions affected your previous test of your precious student, so I repaid the debt to you and her by correcting your mistake…”

“Mistake?”

“And,” Discord continued, “repaid the debt to Joe for bringing him to this world and earning him your disfavour, though that debt was minor as I had already repaid it in part by deflecting your… oh so righteous… anger from him.”

“Never mind that,” snapped Princess Celestia, taking a step closer to Discord, “what mistake?”

“When you look at Joe you see a mere human don’t you, Celly?”

“Of course,” Princess Celestia replied, sounding puzzled. That was what Joe was.

“Have you considered what a human might see looking at him?” asked Discord. “As strange as he found that world, which was somehow so perfect a test for your newly fledged Princess, he did have the knowledge you sent him there to use. He’d have not wandered watching and wondering, he’d have gone straight to your… sorry Principal Celestia’s… office to ask if a Crown had been found.”

“You are saying that he would have tried to solve the problem himself? Like he did with the misplaced Cutie Marks?

“No, and you really are being remarkably obtuse tonight Celly, even for you. I am saying that rather than the path your student took, that through a vast coincidence was one that taught her exactly the lessons you wanted her to learn, he would have suggested a different one. Simply because rather than the schoolgirl you made Twilight Sparkle appear he is an adult man, so that would be the perspective he’d approach the problem from. And those would be the options he’d have and could offer, in assistance, to your student.”

Princess Celestia nodded. With the immensity of her lifespan a scant apparent several years had seemed utterly insignificant to her. But Twilight Sparkle had gone from shy recluse to Princess in about half that time. So it was likely that Joe would have been approaching this as a matter between him and Twilight Sparkle and the school authorities rather than something to be dealt with within the school. She wasn’t sure what Joe would have done and didn’t think Discord knew either, but it would have been likely to be well-intentioned, make perfect sense in the narrow context, and be utterly disruptive to what she’d intended.

“How,” Princess Celestia demanded, the thought occurring, “do you know all this?”

“I said chaos was eternal and universal,” smiled Discord, “and whether that was another world in this universe or a world in another makes no difference to me when I choose to peek in on matters. Or choose to bestow minor extra insight for my own amusement.”

“Your own amusement?”

“It was funny, and it will be funny,” chuckled Discord. “Though not as funny as Joe barking, reminds me of a doctor not noticing she’d been turned into a red furred dog… and continuing to lecture an aspect of Me.”

“So,” accused Princess Celestia, “that was why you turned him into a dog? Amusement?”

“Not entirely, I’ll just not deny the amusement in it just as I’d not have denied your student his advice. And had I simply made him younger to alter his perspective then, as she realised, your student would have had a bodyguard and minion rather than that role being filled by the analogies of her friends and this… ‘Flash Sentry’.”

“And you ensured he’d return here,” Princess Celestia accused, “rather than remain on that other world.”

“Have you managed to get your mane over both your eyes Celestia?” asked Discord, his normal scorn absent as he sounded simply disbelieving. “You think there was any chance he’d not return? That was no more his world than here.”

“Yes, but there he could have the things he missed but also close parallels to the things… or people… he’d miss from here…”

“And you thought he would sacrifice the friendships he had made here for mere parallels?”

“Maybe, such was the test of him as well,” Princess Celestia said, raising her nose and sniffing regally. “Should he make that choice then he would be no further concern of mine, both because he would no longer be here and because he would have proved himself unworthy of my concern.”

“Believe me Celly,” said Discord, regaining his scorn, “with as much amusement, exceeded only by the nausea, he and that Pegasus have given me as they fumble towards a relationship, and with each other, that was never a choice.”

“But you thought you’d make sure.”

“He’s not as amusing as he used to be, but he can be entertaining. So either I was making sure or by making him a dog… and not shielding him from the effects of that body… I showed he was right what would happen if he became a Pony. But was I repaying more debt with that knowledge, or was I discouraging him from the choice because he’s marginally more amusing as a human?”

“Or both.”

“Or neither. Or any combination.”

==

As Princess Cadance guided them down the corridor Twilight Sparkle began to feel a little harassed from the continuing barrage of questions. Joe meanwhile was feeling quite happy as it seemed Rainbow Dash had cheered up as she joined in this cross-examination. The ladies might have had more luck in getting actual answers if they’d let their friend answer before asking another question and some of them Joe could answer. But he didn’t feel any need until he heard Rainbow Dash ask if the other Rainbow Dash had been as awesome as her.

“No,” Joe said, getting a grin from his sweetheart at this immediate and unqualified response.

“I want to tell you everything, I do,” sighed Twilight Sparkle, “but I’m just so exhausted from all the dancing.”

“Dancing?” chorused the others. They’d realised the Fall Formal had probably been a dance, but not that their friend would have done so much that this was why she was so tired.

Twilight Sparkle staggered ahead as the others paused to exchange looks, but she found her progress halted as she bumped into a yellow furred and golden armoured Pegasus. Rather than give immediate apologies, and take all the blame for getting in the way of her Royal personage, he gave a familiar looking smile and spoke in a familiar sounding voice.

“We’ve got to stop bumping into each other like this.”

Twilight Sparkle blushed as the Guard continued on his way. Seeing the blush combined with the smile and the voice Joe had a suspicion, and crouched to share and discuss it with Spike.

“That smile,” Joe muttered, “and it sounded like…”

“Yes,” muttered Spike back, “and she bumped into this one before as well, when we arrived.”

Spike and Joe exchanged looks as Princess Cadence answered Twilight Sparkle’s question and they found this Pegasus was a new member of the Castle Guard and had it confirmed his name was Flash Sentry. When Twilight Sparkle’s friends began teasing her about having a crush on the new guy Joe pinched the brow of his nose, feeling happy to have fingers to do that with an a nose to do it to. Then he nodded slightly to himself.

As young as humans could join the army it did seem less likely there was an age gap between them here. And it seemed an utter certainty that if the one here did something inappropriate then his commanding officer, the Unicorn married to his head of state, would break all four of his legs and both his wings. So this Flash Sentry had three times the motivation to not annoy the Shining Armour here as his two legged counterpart had with his counterpart.

“Do you think we should flee?” Joe muttered again, the thought occurring that the longer Twilight Sparkle denied things the more likely it was that the ladies would turn to them as a source of information.

“Might be wiser…” began Spike, before Pinkie Pie interrupted the latest denials and him.

“Totally reminds you of a guy you met in the other world who played guitar within a band and helped prove you didn't destroy all the decorations for a big dance so you could still run for Princess of the big dance and then asked you to dance at that dance?” Pinkie Pie said, with not quite a run on sentence as her counterpart and not quite managing to make Twilight Sparkle, Joe, and Spike as slack jawed. She took a breath. “Right?”

“How did you know that?” asked Twilight Sparkle.

“Just a hunch,” Pinkie Pie replied before bouncing away.

The others looked at Twilight Sparkle and then, to their fear, back at the conferring Joe and Spike. Under the gaze of so many eyes it was hard to think but Joe decided to allow himself a small revenge for all the death glares.

“Ah, universal constants,” Joe marvelled, “trans-universal constants even, if there is a Pinkie Pie then she knows what Twilight is hiding.”

“But you didn’t have to confirm it!” snapped Twilight Sparkle as the others looked back at her with interest.

“And you didn’t have to confirm it by saying I’d confirmed it,” Joe smiled.

“Gah!”

==

Joe laid in the moonlight on top of the covers of the bed in his assigned room. He wasn’t sure how far away this was from the others but it didn’t seem they were in the same corridor. As they reached a corridor junction Princess Cadance had told him which door was his before leading the rest of the group on. So how much further and where in the Castle she had taken them Joe didn’t know. While considering things he’d taken the chance to freshen up, even if he’d been a dog for those days and had avoided rolling in anything it still felt right to clean his human body. So he had stripped to give himself a once over and don a fresh pair of shorts.

That other world had been so strange that he felt like he needed more peace while not distracted by doggy instincts. It was so similar to here rather than the world he’d known and yet had so many elements of where he’d come from. As he lay atop the covers and pondered he recovered what he’d been thinking when they were confronted by Sunset Shimmer’s ‘army’ and realised something else peculiar. He’d wondered about the lack of supply lines with the portal being due to close so soon and the lack of deadliness of unarmed zombie teenagers.

But it hadn’t occurred to him to wonder where the Police were. With spectacular rainbows and columns of white light, and what looked like houses nearby it seemed someone should have noticed and called them. Even if they assumed a hoax call, at first, when they got the same report from other places they might have responded and the dancing had taken long enough for them to arrive. Though it was probably a good thing they hadn’t as they might have just fallen under Sunset Shimmer’s control and become part of a better army, especially if actual troops had arrived in response to what was going on…

Joe’s thoughts broke off as the door opened and he smiled and sat up as he saw it was Rainbow Dash.

“A few more minutes and I’d have got dressed and started searching,” Joe called as she shut the door behind her, “though I didn’t know where you were.”

“Well, I’m glad I got here before you got dressed then,” grinned Rainbow Dash, flying across to settle against him as he scooted up a little to lean against the headboard and be sitting up slightly.

For a while they just enjoyed the feel of each other. His right arm down her back to rest that hand near where back turned into rump. Her head on his chest and shoulder and her right wing unfurled slightly across his bare belly. Neither wanted to spoil this but they both knew they were going to have to talk. Rainbow Dash got a moment’s warning as against her cheek she felt Joe take a deep breath before he spoke.

“Twilight was concerned about you, about us, when she found me playing football against your counterpart. She didn’t seem to realise how much has changed between us since I spoke to her about magic to help my ‘problem’.”

“And how much has changed?” Rainbow Dash teased, tilting her head up on his chest so their eyes met.

Joe squeezed her tighter against him with his right arm and hand while he craned his neck down, his left hand coming across to cradle her cheek and hold her gently in position as he gave her a long lingering and passionate kiss. Rainbow Dash squirmed slightly against him and, as his thumb began to stroke her cheek, she ran feathers of her right wing lightly down across his belly and upper thighs and the area between. To her satisfaction she felt a definite twitch of interest.

“Good answer,” purred Rainbow Dash as Joe finally pulled back.

“You do deserve words as well though,” Joe smiled.

“I do?” said Rainbow Dash, assuming a mock pout of disappointment.

Unable to resist this Joe gave her another kiss, and though he managed to make it briefer that was not saying much.

“I know what worries I had that I have lost,” Joe said, making an effort to talk rather than kiss, “but what is worrying you? You seemed very unhappy back in the other room.”

Rainbow Dash looked pensive and studied the centre of Joe’s chest for a few moments before she met his eyes again. “Would you have been happier on the other world if you’d not been turned into a dog?”

“Happier to stay there than return here, you mean?” Joe asked, getting a nod against him in reply. “No. It did not feel like home and one of the worries I lost is realising how much I now think of Equestria as home. I could have been happy on that world with you, I could be happy on the world I came from with you, but I am happier to be here with you where we have our friends and we can both be our own shapes.”

“But could you have been happy there with the other Rainbow Dash?”

“I…” Joe began in instant denial, then he paused and decided on honesty. “That is part of how things have changed, we’ve got closer emotionally as well as me being able to respond. Or I’m able to respond because of that and without that fear blinding me I can see how much it is you I love rather than caring what shape you are in…”

“Love?” squeaked Rainbow Dash.

“Crap,” Joe replied, thinking aloud. “I did say that didn’t I, surprised myself again…”

Rainbow Dash’s powerful left hindleg pushed and like a seal flopping up a beach she plopped herself further up her special somehuman. His words were first lost to the impact of so suddenly having more weight on top of him and then to the kiss she gave him. He trailed his fingers through her Mane, and up and down the back of her neck, as she kept him pinned down until she was happy to pull her lips away.

“Actually I do care what shape you are in,” Joe smiled, “because I find you beautiful rather than not caring. I am attracted to you rather than your shape being something to ignore and not care about. But I do care more about who you are. Days ago, when I spoke to Twilight Sparkle, I might have been tempted by the other Rainbow Dash, but not so much because she is a pretty girl as because I was so unsure I could be what you needed. So worried about if I could adjust and give us what we both wanted.”

“And now?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“I do seem to have adjust…”

“No. And now how tempted were you?”

“Ah, yet another surprise and a worry laid to rest,” Joe nodded. “I had been wondering. I was feeling this more, and I was feeling it a lot, but I still wondered if I’d feel even more. Then I saw this lovely lithe lissom human version of you, who’ll I admit looked young but old enough for me to notice and then shake my head at myself, and although I did notice her I felt nothing but some appreciation.”

Rainbow Dash frowned. In some ways she’d have preferred him to have not ‘noticed’ and not praise the other Rainbow Dash’s appearance that highly. “Are you sure it wasn’t just because you were a dog?”

“Well, Spike had no trouble being enraptured by the Rarity there,” Joe smiled, “and I did say I had noticed rather than the admiration being completely platonic. I seem to have adjusted to see the attraction of a lovely Mare like you as well as a pretty human girl rather than instead, and I could give your counterpart paeans of praise, but could say almost as much about the counterparts of the others.”

“Only almost?” asked Rainbow Dash, picking up on that.

“There are many things I like about you,” Joe replied, “and those are things I liked about her, and so I noticed them. But I decided it felt as if you had a sister, the same things to admire in both of you but I prefer them in you. Or as if you’d the same seed, but as fine as it had grown there, and would continue to grow, I prefer you and how your life has shaped you.”

“So… you are sure of things now?” said Rainbow Dash, not hiding her concern as some of this sounded a bit rehearsed. She did trust Joe though that he’d have thought things through and rehearsed the truth through in his mind rather than rehearsing how to better lie.

“Very sure,” Joe nodded. “A month ago, before I got dragged from my hut by the Cutie Mark Crusaders, I’d have had no hesitation moving to that other world. A fortnight ago, the day after you kissed me… or two days since it’s after midnight, I would have missed you but I was still scared. And now I am not scared and this feels like home. I’m not sure you can know how much you no longer want something until it is offered.”

“Good enough,” Rainbow Dash nodded back. She’d been confident that Joe wasn’t lying to her, but now she was more convinced he wasn’t lying to himself and thought he was telling her the truth.

Rainbow Dash slid down off Joe again and back to snuggling against his side. Which was a relief to him since as pleasant as it had been having her lying on top of him one of her elbows had been digging in a little and it was easier to breathe without so much of her weight on his belly. Joe laid there and wondered about suggesting they got under the covers but he was comfy and so was she and the room was warm enough. Gradually her breathing became slow and regular and Joe felt his also slowing as he relaxed. He was just drifting off to sleep when he had to control the urge to jump at the sudden noise instead.

As his beloved gave another of her impressive snores Joe smiled. He could let her sleep or… gently he began to stroke her right wing as it sprawled across him and she stirred a little with a sleepy protest. Then she woke a fraction more as Joe shifted position so he could begin lightly kissing her and start tracing patterns with his other hand across her back. Realising she was being kissed, and what Joe’s hands were doing, Rainbow Dash woke up even more to properly enjoy his efforts. Joe pulled back from the kiss and Rainbow Dash smiled as she saw the look in his eyes.

“Are you trying the Bonobo sol…”

Joe kissed her again and enjoyed the feel of her muffled giggle against his lips…

==

After the incident with the Crown and everything that Shining Armour had had to say about it the Unicorn Guard was trying to stay very alert. The Guards having not prevented the theft of such an important thing would have been cause for anger from any commander. That the crown had belonged to the commander’s younger sister would have been cause for even more. That his younger sister was having to go to another world to retrieve it had left Shining Armour wanting to assign every Guard that had been on duty to guard some distant rocky outcrop instead. Or count pebbles. Or… it had been impressive just how many ideas Shining Armour had come up with for better places than the Castle to assign Ponies who had shown such incompetence.

His ear and head twitched as he heard a noise. Despite this only being the third night the Holders of the Elements of Harmony had stayed in the Castle the snore of one of them had already become notorious, but that was not the right room or even the right corridor. This still seemed no matter of real concern until it cut off in mid ‘srrrrggrrrrrrrr’. Dimming the light he’d been projecting from his horn the Unicorn Guard tried to balance speed and stealth as he moved across to the door this had seemed to be coming from.

The Unicorn Guard listened a moment and then pressed his ear against the door. He could hear a faint murmur of two voices, then what sounded like a giggle, and then more murmuring and giggling and… a squeal? One that sounded more of pleasure or delight than of pain? He removed his ear from the door, fast, as he realised what might be going on and retreated to continue his patrol, hoping he wouldn’t meet another Guard until he’d finished blushing. And until he’d figured out a way to make it sound like a stallion-to-stallion warning rather than an embarrassed one when he warned other Guards against the same mistake.

==

…

“Hmm.”

“Hmm.”

…

…

“Tickle Tickle.”

“That’s nice, but it’s not going to work that soon.”

“Nearly worked in the spa bath. Tickle Tickle.”

“True.”

“Worked even better tonight when you showed me how things had changed. Tickle Tickle.”

“I do need some recovery time.”

“Tickle Tickle.”

“It’s working?”

…

…

…

“Oh, tasty…”

“I may have worked up a light sweat, but I’m not a salt lick…”

“Mmm. Getting tastier…”

“Yike!”

“Well, that got a result…”

…

…

…

…

“Hrm… nice… but, I’m not going to get any sleep tonight am I?”

“Was that why you woke me up? So you could sleep?”

“Well there is the snori… yeek!”

“Apologise.”

“Well, deeds speak louder than words…”

“Mmhmmm!”

…

…

…

…

…

“Dawn?”

“At least you’re an early riser… after a nap at least…”

“What?”

“And I see why Applejack talks about how good it is to wake with the cock’s crow…”

“Whoa! I was right. Cider would have fatal results if this is what happens without it…”

“Hush.”

“I’d say ‘your dad is going to kill me’ but looks like his daughter is going to save him the job…”

“I said hush. Better things to do with your mouth than talk.”

“Right…”

“Oooooh! Like that.”

…

…

…

…

…

…

“Hehe…”

“You were accusing me of the Bonobo solution?… Mercy.”

“Never!”

Author's Note:

And so it finishes. A ‘quick for fun’ story that I decided to do as something new before starting a much delayed and heavily planned out sequel. Where I surprised myself with how much I had written, decided that was too much and should finish it off, ended up twice as long as estimated, and then took a gamble to extend the timespan and got closer to thrice as long as estimated.

I don’t know if I’ll rewrite sections if the gamble doesn’t pay off.

I don’t know if I’ll do a sequel. I’d go to a more normal pattern of not making it day-to-day so time would pass faster. The question would be if Joe would do anything that would put a different angle on events. He’d be there for his special somepony so any episodes where Rainbow Dash is the focus might change significantly. Like if Joe had been around at the time then he’d have asked Rainbow Dash if she was getting too full of herself as Ponyville’s hero and, his efforts having failed, when Mare do Well appeared she’d have been competing against Rainbow Dash and the ‘amazing’ Sidekick-Man…

Slower than a speeding Pony!
Less powerful than one as well!
Able to leap model buildings in a single bound!
Look, there on the ground…
Is it a Chimp? Is it a Bonobo? No, it’s Sidekick-Man…
Strange visitor from another world with powers and abilities beyond those of not very much!

…but there’s no point in retelling episodes without significant change and where a side-story can’t be invented. And there is only so often Joe can do petsitting (and as he gets better at that and I run out of ideas for problems for him that gets even more boring).

If I get an idea for a non-Joe story, other than the grimdark of Sunset Shimmer versus the human world (*), and it would be shorter than ‘Yeek! I typed that much?’ then I might do it. But for now I am out of pony words.

(* = Soldiers killing mind controlled comrades and civilians, spreading blight of her influence, her getting better at mind control so her slaves can do more than drool and are more slave than zombie, probably a stalemate after she manages to whammy people with control of nukes, millions dead… whee, cheerful.)

Comments

[RandomEncounter]

Your Celestia is incredibly OoC and lacks most of the empathy she displays in the show (as well as do the other ponies as well at times). Friendship is Magic!

... except for dirty humans!

[JMDARE]

Final chapters posted. I had got halfway through chapter 47 when I posted to chapter 45 and the plans to the end were detailed, but I can’t say that way I’ve expanded and detailed things didn’t get affected by the comments on the previous chunk. So tempting to keep thinking of ways to let Joe solve things but left him as only useful rather than him annoying Princess Celestia by derailing Equestria Girls too much.

Right. I’ve been answering in one large lump on the story page but let’s try answering on chapter pages instead. So onwards with those replies.

[JMDARE]

2926908
Everyone has a bad day, especially when you’re feeling paranoid about what Discord’s plans are. Celestia loves her little ponies in general but almost all the interactions we see of her on the show are with the Mane 6, her faithful student and her five friends who returned her sister to her and have saved Equestria from many threats. Joe has not earned any gratitude and until she learns why Discord brought him she has to consider the broader picture rather than any personal sympathy.

Thanks for commenting. I hope you found something to enjoy in the story.

[RandomEncounter]

2926993
Your logic is that she should blame the victim for simply existing. Despite your reasoning Celestia (and other ponies) are nonetheless OoC. As I said, you've stripped a lot of the empathy from the show out of FiM for this story. Despite being well written, your inability to make the character seem like more than a punching bag willing to take almost anything dished out to him is a rather unappealing trait.

Honestly the main problem you have is that you write from your own sort of cold logic point of view without taking into account how the characters generally are in the show. That is the major flaw of this story and one that is largely holding it back.

[pvtspoon]

2926999
Ah, many thanks. I was very much confused.

[JMDARE]

2927050
Princess Celestia does not blame Joe for existing and nor does she blame him for his presence. You can be concerned about something without blaming it personally for causing that concern. Perhaps I had taken Joe too far towards being a ‘punching bag’ but he’s meant to be a rather normal rather quiet sort of person, as I said in the description the sort to keep his head down and try to get along. A background-pony human rather than a Mane 6 human. And the major flaw of the story you see has held it back, past tense, as I’ve finished.

Comments by you and the other people I’ve annoyed have been appreciated. Sometimes a touch baffling as (despite the assurances of ‘well written’) things are read differently than I intended, but nonetheless appreciated. Thank you for reading.

2927182
No problem.

[Valtium]

Good job, its a good story and you did well in showing what joe would have done.

As for your future plans personally i preferred the story you made rather than the one you inserted joe into. and if you were to continue rather than continuing to include him in the shows adventures you could have him have his and include them.

Either way you have done well, and this is a good ending as is. thanks for sharing.

[JMDARE]

2944854
As for your future plans personally I preferred the story you made rather than the one you inserted Joe into, and if you were to continue rather than continuing to include him in the show’s adventures you could have him have his and include them.

My attitude was that Equestria Girls was too perfect a test and lesson for Twilight Sparkle so either something Joe can’t be involved in at all or if he is involved he can’t derail. It did seem there was a way for Joe to resolve some of his own issues so first came the idea of how to limit his options and then the idea of whose fix to the plans that was.

On the other hand it was uncomfortable and didn’t feel like it was working as well as Trials and Tribbleations since was only ‘meanwhile elsewhere, sometimes’ rather than a proper parallel plotline. Joe did help a lot with Twilight Sparkle’s plan… unfortunately that was the one she had to abandon so that left him and Spike approaching being Statler and Waldorf. And Joe skirting the edges between fair IC comment and nitpicking.

I don’t so much want him to be involved in the show’s adventures as to know whether he should be involved in an episode, be completely uninvolved, or if I had an idea for a parallel plotline. And although I have a few ideas noted down I do need to another story done first.

Have an alternate-scene.

==

“She has us!” declared Rainbow Dash as she and the other girls rushed forward to join their friend.

“Does she?” Sunset Shimmer purred, “and what exactly do you think you have?”

She gathered her magic, she had parted so many friends from each other, threatened Twilight Sparkle with the consequences of letting the people here know she didn’t belong, and now she had this power she could indulge her skill and show this interfering Alicorn she should have paid heed. The power crackled between Sunset Shimmer’s hands for a moment and then triple forked lightning struck from her, a prong striking each of the three interlopers from Equestria before anyone could react. She savoured Twilight Sparkle’s convulsions as her form shifted and she returned to her true appearance.

Twilight Sparkle took a few deep breaths as she tried to adjust to the sudden change and stared down at her hooves. Wait, hooves… she gave a tiny experimental flap… wings as well, which meant…

“Yeah,” scoffed Rainbow Dash. “Pony Princess from another world, exactly what we thought.”

“What?” Sunset Shimmer began in disbelief. Where was the instant rejection? The horror at who, what, they had befriended?

Then a streak of purple magic slammed into her gut and drove her back in the air before she could compensate. Sunset Shimmer coughed and realised she’d been lucky she was in mid air so being pushed back had taken some of the impact, but had to hurriedly raise a hand and deflect a second bolt. Perhaps turning a human with no magic back into an Alicorn with immense power had not been such a good idea.

“Be fair, darling,” commented Rarity. “We thought Pony, rather than being quite so magical looking.”

Twilight Sparkle glared at Sunset Shimmer, planted her delightfully returned hooves, and sent a third attack, this one aimed at the ground beneath her foe to send dirt and rocks up at her rather than being a direct attack.

Then things got even worse for Sunset Shimmer as a roar came from one side and she finally turned her attention to what the true form of that purple dog had been. She’d expected a Dragon and she’d got one, but what was unexpected was that in his heart Spike was the ferocious fire-breathing Dragon that he had claimed to be to try to impress the Rarity here. And every bit as magnificent in spirit as the Equestria Rarity had assured him. Of more pertinence to Sunset Shimmer was that he was at least ten times as long from nose to tail as she’d seen while stealing the crown, though much slimmer built, and as he roared again his eyes were almost level with hers despite the fact she was flying.

Spike took a deep breath and exhaled and fire curved around Sunset Shimmer’s hastily erected bubble shield.

“Careful Spike, people behind her,” Twilight Sparkle warned, loosing another bolt of magic while Sunset Shimmer could see nothing but flames.

“Sorry Twilight,” rumbled Spike, rising to his hind feet.

==

But the problem with this was that although you can still get back to magic of friendship, and it does resolve Spike’s body-image problems, what do I do to Joe? Making him just him seemed anti-climactic, making him awesome superpowered seemed against the run of normal. Though in some ways it would be pretty awesome to just calmly go ‘hmm, got hands again, armour is back, check back, got bow and arrows, stab spear into ground, string bow…” and get on with making Sunset Shimmer a pincushion.

[JMDARE]

Aaagh.

So I start on the sequel to a different story and the lack of views compared with another I was also posting chapter by chapter bothers me. Meanwhile I have an increasingly more detailed plan for the sequel to this and the siren call of “you know… it won’t make it any more awkward if you extend the timeline another week. You wouldn’t have any more problems getting things back to having the background-pony-human not affecting things significantly and doing things off-camera if you took it as far as that…”

So after a brief diversion into plotting a proper-AU, until I realised I preferred the actual series opener, I seem to be working on the sequel for this. At least to the end of the first week and at least to get plans converted to vignettes, and hope that purging those thoughts will let me concentrate on the other story. Of course before I can get to the end of the first week I need to get to the end of the first day.

EDIT: Owww... the little "space out the Joe parts" vignettes add up. Especially when the four Princesses get chatting and I make up some history. Seemed fair to say what the others were doing as they aren't up to their normal routine, but been a long first day.

Summaries for sequel:

Short-
Her counterpart thought you were an ‘awesome dog’, but now your marefriend seems to be trying to make you an ‘awesome human’… while you are still trying for ‘sort of harmless.’

Long-
When you wake up naked in a strange bed you can feel uncertain. But when your visit to another world has let you realise Equestria is home, the bed is only strange because you’re staying at the Castle in the Crystal Empire, and the ‘talking horsie’ you see is your marefriend things seem a lot better than they did months ago in Canterlot. Even if she does smack you in the head with a padded hoof in the morning when she suggests sparring practice, and doesn’t seem as pleased as you were that you managed to come not too far fourth with more sparring in the afternoon.

But perhaps you’d have had more chance of returning your life towards quiet and uneventful if you’d not gone along with all her suggestions of how your exercise and training could be improved, and if it didn’t seem like she wanted to show off the results.

[JMDARE]

Having found a story where Sabaton and other heavy metal defeat Princess Celestia I think I'll make this reply to myself.

This is what Joe would cite as an example of Tanks being fast and popping "wheelies" (about 1 minute 30 seconds):

And this is what he got caught listening to, since Sabaton probably stil exist even on a world with blue and purple and green people:

Now to vanish again for a while.

[Sixpence]

Alright, I'm done. Well, done as in I finished the story.

I really liked it, it was completely different from most of what I've read so far, which is a good thing. I agree with RandomEncounter that Celestia seemed a bit too... worried? Easy to anger perhaps? Honestly she appears less than a goddess, and more like a demi-god still not entirely sure of her place. Then again, the 'old gods' of our world were quick to anger and had no idea how to properly deal with things other than 'hit it on the head with mjølnir until it goes away'.

The romance happened a bit quickly for my tastes. Sure, it took a while to properly develop, and well... it's Rainbow, she is fast. And again, I'm very rarely satisfied with romance in fanfiction, especially ponyfiction, as that's the only fanfiction I've read.

But, other than that it was a very enjoyable story, and it's sad to see that it hasn't gained more appreciation. I'm pretty sure it's because you posted mostly everything at once, as many much worse stories have gained more attention simply through having a longer exposure due to new chapters being posted every now and then. I don't mind full stories being posted really, but if you want exposure, try posting a chapter or two a week even if they're all done. That way you'll gain more readers and so on.

[JMDARE]

3289640
It’s been a rough three years, and might not even have been that long. She’s sure of her place but she had enough to worry about already without Discord adding the complication of this strange creature. He thinks differently as he has a different culture, history, and biology and his lack of any special destiny (and so lack of any real link to the connections I suggested exist between Ponies) means she is denied the (very limited) precognition of watching the shape of that web. Once Twilight Sparkle had safely gained her wings and the possible crisis was past then she relaxed, though would take a while for Joe to trust that.

Romance… yeah, pacing is off. Deciding to use the reformed Discord gave me only “yay” long before I ran out of season and then I made it a busy three weeks (including the extension). Spreading those events over two or three times as long and allowing some time skips would have been less hectic and is more the pace in the sequel. And that they did rush things will be addressed, though no particular unhappiness planned for them.

As to how to go about posting things I’ve tried posting weekly as chapters are written, I’ve tried writing all in advance and posting chapters weekly, and I’ve tried (with this… almost) writing it all and then posting it all. As tired as I have got of a couple of stories on another site where I took the second option, and as tempted as I am to post the remaining chapters and be done with them, the third option and accepting less views still seems attractive.

[Godiswithus3]

Here is my verdict. It was well written, and I give you praise for that. I just hated the story, mostly the protagonist. His constant tendency to be self-conscious, pacifistic, and a wuss was enraging me. I endured because everything else was good, but I hated Joe's pacifism. It is for this reason why I am not choosing to favorite this.

[exelsiar]

Just finished, it was a fairly decent story, but this version of Celestia certainly wont be getting added to my head cannon. What can I say, she's a complete bitch and way out of character here. I saw JDMare mention that this was due to Joe being such a totally different being to anything in equestria.. except he's not he's pretty similiar to a minotaur, just with hands and feet and lacking horns.
But again a decent enough story. Thanks for the read ^_^

[grouchopony]

I love this story. Think I'm re-reading it for the third time now.
Okay - I was put off by Celestia's antagonism (and even Twilight's to some extent) - but overall I loved the story.

Anyway. It's such a shame that JMDARE has abandoned FimFiction. (97 weeks offline and counting.)
I hope nothing bad happened to the author.

[edgeman]

BombShelter's A Full HIE Story in 1411 Words made me think about this story and how crapped on the main character was the entire time. I left a sour taste in my mouth the first time I read it, but it might be time to give it another try.

[damnaion]

G. writer : this story is more a slow past and fleshed out then my mane cup of tea but it is very good for what it is thow it still need some polishing work on it so it can shine as good as it should as the gem it is from G.W. .

so far loving the story so far and hope to see more of it and you yay.

[GunsmithPete338]

“I had the proof of your browsing,” Cheerilee smiled, “and a video with Polish subtitles of a song by a Swedish Heavy Metal band about the Battle of Britain does not seem like something one of my students would be looking at. So that it was being looked at by a dog was not the strangest thing about it.”

Fuck yes.

[ChubbyBane]

Was happy to understand the song reference before looking at the comments. This is my thank you for writing an awesome hie story. This kind of story is exactly what I look for on fimfic minus the equestria girls part, but loved the story regardless. Kind of wish the cmcs had finished the plane and flown it befroe the end though. Thank you