Chapter 47
It was not one of his normal days at Sweet Apple Acres but Joe had taken the short walk there to offer his services for the morning. Yesterday he’d decided to not send the letter to Princess Celestia as that did seem so unimportant compared with helping Spike reassure Twilight Sparkle that she was well prepared and exceptionally well suited to be Princess Twilight Sparkle. He’d also learned a little more about the actual coronation and the preparations for it rather than just the ‘exciting’ part of the day which Rainbow Dash had concentrated on.
The morning had gone well, some more fence painting and helping with stacking things, and his chores at Sweet Apple Acres complete Joe was walking back to his hut to wash, have some lunch, and decide what to do with the rest of the day. There were places in the hills that would be safe enough to explore without armour. Or he could read. Maybe nap. Or stop by Sugarcube Corner to talk to Pinkie Pie.
As he walked, and it approached its zenith, the sun was just slightly behind Joe and his thoughts were not enough distraction to prevent him from noticing a shadow being cast from midair. Last time he had reacted to a shadow it had been a mistake as it had only been Rainbow Dash but, even if it was her again, the instinct to jump aside was not a good one to lose. Especially since if it was her then making him jump would amuse her.
To Joe’s surprise rather than almost stopping the Pegasus hurtled past, and rather than being graceful and feminine it was a substantially built Stallion. Dust billowed around him as he braked his speed by landing and digging his hooves into the path. The stallion turned and tensed and growled.
“Defend yourself.”
With a flap of his wings and a thrust of his hindquarters the stallion took off again to hurtle at Joe. Unfortunately for the Pegasus being a biped wasn’t very stable and being able to fall in any direction helped humans with moving those ways. Joe had been surprised how bipedal Equestria ponies could be when they wanted forelegs free for something or, as happy as they were, to dance sideways. But humans could also dance sideways, and though many things could whirl around in their own length when your body was arranged vertically that length was rather short.
Working on instinct and wishing the castle’s insurance had stretched to infantry versus cavalry demonstrations rather than his knowledge being theoretical Joe side-stepped at the last moment to pivot on his left foot and try to drive his right fist into the side of the Stallion’s neck as he passed. Then as he felt his punch strike Joe’s air exploded from him from a blow across the right side of his ribs.
Staggering and almost falling to one knee Joe condemned himself as an idiot. That sort of move might work for an infantryman against cavalry or for a matador against a bull, but this Pegasus had a dirty great wing sticking out of his side to sweep through the area Joe had dodged into. Fortunately he was not badly winded and either the punch or the mutual impact of wing and side had thrown off the Pegasus’ flight, so he was now in another cloud of dust he’d raised as he scraped a shallow furrow with his crash.
The Pegasus was trying to get back on his hooves so as his opponent’s rear end came up Joe decided to give that a helping hand. Or rather a ‘helping’ foot as he ran the few strides to close the distance and swung his right boot up under the stallion’s tail. The Pegasus’ rear lifted, his hooves seeming to come up off the ground a fraction and a whinny of pain escaped him as his eyes watered. That blow did suggest the human was right behind him so as his rear hooves settled he thrust them up again to kick backwards.
Joe had kept moving and taken a quick step back and to one side out of the way as soon as he’d landed the kick and his leg had swung back down. Although being a biped made that easier the disadvantage was that he only had two legs to brace himself. But he did have two arms and hands with which to grab one of the stallion’s rear legs as they came out to full extension and hold it for a moment against the withdrawal. This brief grasp was enough to unbalance the stallion a fraction and make his attempt to turn a little less swift and graceful.
The stallion reared up to drive both forehooves forward at him and, with the moment more he’d earned to react, Joe twisted clockwise and leaned a little to avoid those thrusting hooves, then twisted back for a straight-right punch into the Pegasus’ soft nose as he came down. A tingle ran up Joe’s arm from his fist and he had the satisfaction of knowing that was a good solid punch.
It seemed less satisfying for the Pegasus so, trying to press his advantage, Joe twisted again, stepping forward slightly for a left-hook into the Stallion’s right eye. That and the punch in the nose seemed to have distracted his opponent enough Joe took a chance and stepped away, bounced on his toes once, and then swung his right boot up again. The kick up under the other end had worked but Joe was glad he’d toecaps on these boots as his foot met the jaw.
Looking rather dazed but determined the Pegasus lunged again and, knowing how poorly trying to dodge had worked before and expecting his opponent would be alert for that, Joe met the lunge and brought his hands in to grab at either side of the Stallion’s head. His fingers slid across the fine fur of the Pegasus’ face and his thumbs almost slid into the Stallion’s eyes on their way to close around his ears. The Stallion screamed a little as it felt like he was tearing his own ears off with the force of his lunge and pulled back as best he could. Joe let go of the ears and stepped back again while the Stallion was distracted by the pain, then drove the heel of his boot forward in what on a human would be a knee strike.
Here it was more like the wrist, between the elbow near the body and the ‘knuckle’ joint to the single toe whose nail was the hoof. But the blow worked the same way as the foreleg bent slightly in the wrong direction and though it didn’t work as well when it left three legs rather than one the Stallion wobbled and his forequarters dropped a fraction without the full support of that leg. More dust swirled as the Pegasus beat his wings to retain his balance and, fearing his foe would take off, Joe decided to take a risk.
Pouncing forward Joe turned to face the same direction as the Stallion to wrap his right arm around his neck in what he hoped was a good headlock or calf-wrangling grip. The Pegasus struggled and Joe tried to apply as much pressure as he could, digging his heels into the path and bracing his right arm with his left. This did not feel as secure as he had hoped and, as well as almost lifting off the ground as his opponent’s wings and legs combined, Joe could feel a lot of strain in his shoulder. Then through the dust and the haze of exertion Joe noticed something and involuntarily his grip relaxed.
With a wrench that made pain streak down Joe’s arm and up into his torso from his shoulder the Pegasus broke free, flinging Joe to one side to briefly sprawl before, with a cough, he rolled himself to his feet again. The Pegasus had taken off and was slowly circling around, still holding the foreleg Joe had kicked as if he didn’t want to put any weight on it, not even in midair where all his weight was on his wings. Joe sidestepped a little to keep the Pegasus in sight and now there was no dust, and there was a pause, he could confirm what he’d seen between his arm and that Stallion’s neck.
“Wait!” Joe snapped.
“Why?” the Pegasus asked.
“Because if you’re who I think you are from that Mane then your daughter would prefer us to not beat each other into a pulp.”
“You think you could manage?”
“You want another kick in the nuts?”
“Not really,” the rainbow maned and tailed Pegasus smiled, “but…”
Almost faster than Joe could see the slowly circling Pegasus blurred into a rainbow streak that shot past him, and then back past him, and again so a box of rainbow blurs encompassed him and more dust rose in the slipstream. Joe had seen Rainbow Dash do her similar version but he hadn’t realised how impressive it was from the inside. The blurs faded and the Pegasus was back where he had been, almost as if he hadn’t moved at all, the same smile still on his face.
“Impressive,” Joe nodded, “though…” His hand dipped to his belt and a narrow shiner silver blur linked that to a tree as, with a thunk, his knife buried two thirds of its blade into the tough wood. “Would you have liked my knife rather than a fist in your neck, or your eye, or your nose?”
“Point taken,” said the Pegasus, his smile broadening into a grin. “Or rather that point was not taken there.”
With that the Pegasus turned and arched away. Joe stayed standing straight for a few moments and then grabbed at his right side with his left hand.
“Aaahh… f… I think that got closer to breaking those than the bloody Manticore did on the other side,” he commented to himself. After a few deep breaths he began limping across towards his knife. “And I think I strained my foot on his face, or maybe it was on his balls like the Scotsman and the burning terrorist.”
Not noticing the amused eyes above him Joe continued to the innocent bystander tree and winced again as he yanked his knife from it. He rotated his arm a little as he looked at the blade and returned it to its sheath.
“And ooch! My other shoulder didn’t hurt that much after the Manticore, at least not the two days later when I woke up.”
==
Rainbow Dash paced a little in the main room of her cottage. She’d hurried through her midday weather checks so she could get back here to spend more time with her father before he had to go, but he wasn’t here. If he’d needed to leave early he’d have left a note or come to find her so where in the name of Discord’s testicles was he? Rainbow Dash blinked and giggled as she realised what she had just thought and where she had got the phrase from. Fortunately for her father she was still cheered by that when her cottage door opened and he entered.
“Got to go soon sweetie,” he said, “sorry I wasn’t here when you got back, had an errand.”
“What sort of…” Rainbow Dash began. Then she noticed how swollen her father’s left eye was and that he was limping on one foreleg. “Oh, no, no, no…”
“Hang on,” her father replied, turning back to the open door. He reached down and scooped up a couple of hoof-fulls of cloud, which he whipped across to near the sofa. Then he hobbled across and sat with a wince. Using his weather manipulation skills to make the tiny clouds snowy and icy he was tempted to put them in an intimate location but, inhibited by being looked at by his daughter, he stuck to the plan and pressed one to his eye and the other to his leg. “Ahhh, better.”
“Dad, what did you do?”
“Nothing serious.”
“Dad!”
“You realise your friend can fight dirty?”
“Would that account for the wince when you sat?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Who’d have thought he could kick that hard or accurately,” her father asked rhetorically, “or that his boots were that hard.”
“Dad, you can’t beat up everyone I get involved with.”
“Why not?” grinned her father unrepentantly. “What other compensation is there for having such a beautiful daughter?”
“Daaaaddddd!”
“Oh no, I’m fine,” he pretended to grumble, “don’t show any concern for your poor old battered father…”
“I’m sorry Dad,” said Rainbow Dash, “but I am more concerned for Joe and what state you left him in.”
“Not as good a state as he was pretending until he thought I had left, but even then he just grabbed his ribs and started muttering and limping.”
“Limping?”
“I think he hurt himself kicking me…”
“Sorry Dad, but good.”
“Ah, ungrateful brat,” sighed her father, “take the time to visit her and beat up someone she cares for, and does she appreciate the latter? Oh no, she just complains about me hurting him.”
“Dad!” Rainbow Dash giggled.
“I’m still not sure about him,” her father said, face and tone becoming more serious, “but I liked that he wasn’t intimidated when I showed him just how much faster I could have been moving. So as long as he treats you right…”
“If he doesn’t then you’ll respect my right to deal with it myself,” Rainbow Dash replied, equally seriously.
Her father paused and then reluctantly nodded. “Got a hug for your old man?”
“Anytime Dad,” smiled Rainbow Dash, providing such and mischievously squeezing a little harder than normal.
“Ack,” her father said, to her satisfaction, as his daughter managed to find a bruise.
“Sorry Dad.”
“Brat.”
==
Twilight Sparkle was in her basement again but, this time, she had actual work to do rather than this being a retreat. Her intent had been to finish the spell and then assess Joe, as much as she could while they were all still so tired. But instead she’d found herself elsewhere and then a Princess. So the problem now she was back in Ponyville was that seeing how the potion and the draining had affected Joe wasn’t as simple as just putting him on the treadmill. He’d said he’d not noticed a difference so she might be looking for a more subtle difference. Therefore her first priority was to assess herself.
The wings were the obvious difference between a Pegasus, or an Alicorn, and any other pony but she knew enough about comparative biology to know how many less obvious differences there were. In some ways her scientist’s instincts were offended by how this had handled. If Princess Celestia had given her a day’s warning, or a few days, then she’d have been able to go to the Ponyville hospital and have a full series of scans done of how she used to be and have those to compare to scans done of how she was now.
That would only have told her the physical changes though. More important was how her magic had been affected as that was still her special talent, her Cutie Mark hadn’t changed, and until she knew if this was more powerful and, if so, how much by she couldn’t test the same for Joe. If her sensitivity to magic had increased then it might appear that he had more magic rather than the same or the same rather than less.
The door at the head of the stairs opened and with the hopping forced on him by his relatively short legs Spike came down them to look at her in concern as she gave him a smile and continued her tests. She’d taken inspiration from her school days and earlier and the simple repetitive drills she had gone through to check strength, concentration, and focus and how this was improving, or not. Spike watched her for a few moments and then spoke teasingly.
“I know you worried about being sent back to Magic Kindergarten, but you don’t need to send yourself back there. You are still the same Twilight.”
“I’m not so sure Spike,” Twilight Sparkle sighed, “as much as I’d like to in some ways I can’t ignore these.”
As Twilight Sparkle spread her new wings Spike belched, which seemed a strange response to his ‘big sister’ until a scroll flared into existence and showed it was not a reply to her unfurling. With the ease of long practice Spike caught and unrolled the scroll and nodded.
“We might be getting away from Ponyville for a while anyway.”
“Oh?”
==
Joe sat in Sugarcube Corner, rear on one of the low seats and legs crossed in almost a lotus position under the table. He’d been sweaty enough after the chores at Sweet Apple Acres that quite a lot of the dust thrown up by the fight had clung to him and his clothes, but unfortunately not enough for it to simply flake away again. As he limped the rest of the way to his hut Joe had found himself humming and singing the ‘Hippopotamus Song’ though.
A thorough stripping and scrubbing had removed sweat and dust and mud and given Joe the chance to check himself over. His knuckles were a little red from the punching and it looked as if he had just jarred his right foot rather than any serious harm. There was nothing visibly wrong with his right shoulder and he still had a full range of motion, though also a few twinges and he didn’t want to put too much strain on it for a day or two. The most spectacular injury was the first one. Without fur to hide it and with, despite the lake sunbathing, quite pale skin for its colours to show up against Joe knew the bruise that was forming from the wing impact was going to appear rather impressive.
Tempted as he was to hide in his hut Joe had decided he would not allow himself to be discouraged from going into Ponyville. The greater temptation was to take his spear with him and it was only when he shifted it from one hand to the other to open his front door that Joe realised he’d picked it up. After a brief struggle he managed to put it down again and continue on his way without too many regrets, or dwelling too much whether he’d have been tempted to put his armour on if he still had it.
“Right,” Joe said as Pinkie Pie returned with something that looked more like coffee than cream for him and the reverse for her. “So, you think Rarity would not take it amiss? She’d accept it was to celebrate what a good job Dash does, rather than celebrate it wasn’t Rarity trying?”
“Yeppers!” smiled Pinkie Pie. “Though,” she added with a wink, “isn’t it the second as well?”
“I’ll admit that was seeing the contrast that made me consider if a Party was needed…”
“As if a party ever isn’t.”
“Weather team though,” Joe frowned. “I can make absolutely sure with Rarity, will be seeing her tomorrow about a hat, but I can’t ask Dash if her subordinates deserve a Party without spoiling the surprise.”
“Why wouldn’t they deserve it?” asked Pinkie Pie, bemused by someone ever not deserving a party.
“As Spike said, while standing on my head,” Joe smiled, enjoying the slight giggle from Pinkie Pie at that image, “even if they thought it was Rarity’s job they could still have offered to help the Pony they probably thought was their boss. But none of them did, they left her struggling.”
“Ooooh… thinking of weather bosses I met someone yesterday…” began Pinkie Pie, breaking off as she saw the door open. With a bound and blur of pink she was across to greet her friend. “Dashie!”
Joe unfolded his legs and disentangled himself from the table to stand. “Hello Dash.”
“Hi Pinkie, Joe,” Rainbow Dash replied, sounding a little more enthusiastic about the former than the latter. She looked at him and then nodded. “Sit.”
“You see what I mean about her ordering me around?” shrugged Joe to Pinkie Pie.
“Aw, you love it,” Pinkie Pie winked.
Rainbow Dash waited for Joe to obey and then calmly walked across, raised one forehoof, and prodded him hard. Right on the bruise on his side.
“Aaah!” Joe exclaimed, loud enough to draw some Pony eyes. “Dash…”
“What did you do that for?” asked Pinkie Pie.
“Joe met my dad earlier.”
“Oooh, I was about to mention he was visiting when Joe talked about weather teams and bosses… wait is that why Joe is limping a little?”
“At least I am walking,” Joe smiled, noting he’d been right about who’d fought him, and rubbing his ribs and looking at his marefriend. “If her father hadn’t held back I’d have to hope he’d at least send somepony to take me to hospital.”
“Story time!” declared Pinkie Pie, pulling a cupcake from somewhere and devouring it in one bite to give her the stamina to listen.
“I’ve heard one version,” Rainbow Dash said, continuing to look less amused, “from my dad before he left…”
“Phew! He left!” nodded Joe with exaggerated relief. “Maybe I can get by without armour…”
His voice trailed off under Rainbow Dash’s frown, but fortunately for Joe that was when Spike arrived.
“Spikey-Wikey!” Pinkie Pie squealed, appearing to almost teleport across to rub the top of his head.
“Spike,” nodded Joe.
“Hi Spike,” Rainbow Dash added.
“Rainbow, good, I can tell you at the same time as I tell Pinkie,” Spike replied.
“Tell us what? Tell us what?” asked Pinkie Pie with a quick series of bounces around the small Dragon.
Spike moved across to the table so he lower his voice for at least a little more privacy, even if everypony in the shop was watching after the Pinkie Pie greeting and, unknown to Spike, after Joe’s prod induced ‘Aaah’. “Twilight’s been invited to some sort of ‘Princess Summit’ in the Crystal Empire, and the invitation includes her friends. I don’t think you have to go, but I do think she’d like you to be there.”
“I should be able to,” Rainbow Dash nodded. “Pinkie?”
“Mr and Mrs Cake?” asked Pinkie Pie, turning towards the counter.
“Depends how long it will be for, dear,” Mrs Cake replied, showing Spike’s efforts at discretion had been wasted.
“Though we should manage a few days,” agreed Mr Cake.
“But much longer than that and we’ll have to ask somepony to come in,” Mrs Cake finished.
Pinkie Pie turned back to Spike and taking his cue he continued. “It could be a few days, maybe more, we’ll have to leave this evening to sleep there overnight and be ready for a full day tomorrow.”
“Ah,” Joe smiled, “advantage and disadvantage of Ponyfolk not wearing as many clothes. Don’t need to worry so much about how much to pack, but also don’t need to be told how long you need to pack for.”
“I’ll get Fluttershy and Applejack,” said Rainbow Dash, managing a smile at the weak witticism, “come along with me Joe?”
“It would be a nice walk,” Joe agreed, “but for now I’d rather walk, and even if I could jog or run I’d still slow you down a lot.”
“Why would he rather walk?” whispered Spike to Pinkie Pie. “I thought he could run that far now?”
“He met Dashie’s Daddy,” Pinkie Pie whispered back, “so he’s limping a little.”
“Be glad you’ve met Rarity’s father in a less… abrupt manner,” winked Joe.
Rainbow Dash sighed and rolled her eyes. “See you guys in a while.”
Then on impulse, and while he was sitting and within easy range, Rainbow Dash darted her lips forward and wrapped one forehoof around the back of Joe’s head to hold him in place for a quick but intense kiss, leaning back before Joe could overcome his surprise. She winked to Joe and left, ignoring the buzz of gossip about how that rumour had been confirmed. Joe looked around with a distinct blush, that had been a little more ‘passionate’ and a little less ‘friendly’ a kiss than he’d expected in public, and then stood. He hoped the blush would fade before they reached the Carousel Boutique and the questions it might raise from Rarity.
==
Twilight Sparkle looked up from her study of the scroll and the few details it had of the Princess Summit. She really hoped the library door was opening to admit one of her friends rather than a gawker. To her pleasure it was two of her friends, Rarity and Pinkie Pie, along with Spike and… Twilight Sparkle’s smile of greeting faded and was replaced by one of embarrassment.
“Joe? I’m sorry but…”
“But I’m not invited?” Joe asked.
“Well, no,” replied Twilight Sparkle, surprised that Spike hadn’t made that clear as he’d read the invitation. “Sorry.”
“What?” Spike frowned, to her further surprise. He walked across to his big sister and looked again at the scroll. “He’s not not invited either. The coronation we got personal invitations, so didn’t know for sure until he was already almost offering to pet sit but…”
“Spike, it’s fine,” Joe smiled. “We all know I’d rather stay out of the way of Princess Celestia. Can I take a look at the invitation though?”
“Okay,” Twilight Sparkle nodded. None of this was a secret so that seemed fair.
Joe joined Twilight Sparkle and Spike and added his own nod. “Hmm, I can see the confusion. But I think ‘whichever of her friends may attend’ is intended to say it’s not compulsory, not that it’s a general invitation. And anyway I’m not here because I thought I was invited…”
“Going to offer to pet sit again, darling?” Rarity asked.
“As perilous as that is, nearly get an embolism trying to match Angel Bunny raspberry for raspberry, it does seem safer than going. Though I don’t have to go to the summit to go to the Crystal Empire, and I should be able to steer clear of it while exploring the rest of the city.”
“You really are scared of Princess Celestia, aren’t you?” Twilight Sparkle marvelled.
“Yes,” said Joe. His first response was to mention the swelling towards the sky, his second was to say he was scared enough he wasn’t going to mention what he’d seen, and simply saying ‘yes’ seemed safer than either of them. “So I’m here to find out what’s going on so I know how and if I can help.”
“Alright,” Twilight Sparkle replied. She considered reassuring Joe that her mentor was, perhaps, more forgiving than he assumed. That Princess Celestia had forgiven Fluttershy for taking Philomena as her intentions had been good, even if mistaken. But it didn’t seem that Princess Celestia had found the same amusement in Joe’s actions as she had in the idea of trying to ‘cure’ a Phoenix that was simply getting towards her time to be reborn in flame.
“Rainbow has gone to get the others,” Spike added as the conversation entered a lull. “She was at Sugarcube Corner when I went to get Pinkie.”
“Right,” nodded Twilight Sparkle again.
It was not long before Rainbow Dash returned and demanded Joe provide the lap to which she had become accustomed. He cheerfully sat and she sprawled across it for the brief wait until Applejack and Fluttershy arrived and things could get underway.
“So, what’s this about ah ‘Princess Summit’?” Applejack asked, getting straight down to business.
“Princess Celestia didn’t give many details,” replied Twilight Sparkle, “but it would be a few days in the Crystal Empire and I would prefer you all…” She gave Joe an apologetic glance. “…to be there.”
“Hmm, ah could have th’ days away from th’ farm,” Applejack nodded. “If it’s important and the Princess an’ all.”
“As I said in Sugarcube Corner I should manage,” added Rainbow Dash, “my weather team could handle things that long…”
“From his twitch I don’t think Joe agrees with you,” Rarity pointed out with a smile.
“They, erm…” said Joe.
“Didn’t help when Rarity was struggling, so although you wondered about a ‘thanks for good weather’ party you weren’t sure if they or only Dashie deserved it as well as not wanting to upset Rarity as it might seem like you were partying to be glad it was Dashie doing it again rather than her.”
“And,” Joe said, looking to Pinkie Pie, “as I said, had intended it as a surprise if I decided to do it.”
“Oops.”
“Thanks for the thought though,” said Rainbow Dash, squirming slightly to get absolutely comfortable.
“I’m not sure about leaving my animals though,” Fluttershy ventured, biting her lower lip a little.
“That’s why I’m here,” nodded Joe. “I’m not invited to the summit, but I could probably find a hotel and it might be nice to do the tourist thing in the Crystal Empire…”
“And ah’m sure you’d not be unwelcome, right Twilight?” Applejack reassured him.
“I think Cadance would find him a room,” agreed Twilight Sparkle, taking the hint, “so there wouldn’t even be a problem with a hotel.”
Joe blinked. That was hardly steering clear of the summit if she meant in the Castle. But if that was what she meant then he was certain it was because she thought it would be fine for him to be that close to the attention of her mentor. Not that she was trying to prevent him going by denying him the relative safety of a hotel. He’d not the same bond with Twilight Sparkle as he’d developed with Applejack and Big Macintosh over the months or with Rainbow Dash over the last couple of weeks, the last week and a half especially, but he did trust her motives.
“So there’s that, or there’s what Applejack and Fluttershy were saying,” Joe continued after his pause. “I can’t help at both places all the time but I could some of the time.”
“It would be… nice to have someone looking after my cottage and my little friends,” admitted Fluttershy.
“It would be nice to have Joe along to entertain me,” Rainbow Dash contradicted her friend. “A summit sounds boring.”
Ignoring this Joe explained. “I was thinking of moving into Fluttershy’s cottage for the few days and taking a few hours here and there, while somepony covered for me, if something at Sweet Apple Acres needed doing that would be simpler for me to do.”
“Makes sense,” Applejack nodded.
“No it doesn’t!” said Rainbow Dash, contradicting a second friend.
“Make more sense to go to the Crystal Empire and us take an hour here and there during breaks in the summit?” Joe asked.
“Yes!”
“Maybe some organisation?” Twilight Sparkle suggested. “The train ride is not that long…”
Despite Rainbow Dash’s disdain for any sort of compromise they managed to agree that Joe would spend at least a couple of nights at Fluttershy’s cottage looking after her animals. Tomorrow was Joe’s normal day for chores at Sweet Apple Acres Fluttershy would talk to some of the Ponies that normally covered for her to see if anypony could take over during the morning. Somepony would certainly have to stop by to deal with the bird feeders. By the end of the first day of the summit tomorrow they’d have a better idea of how busy they’d be in the Crystal Empire, how long they might be there, and so if it would be worth Joe taking a day trip during one of the remaining days. Assuming that anypony could cover for him covering for Fluttershy.
Of course the advantage of a day trip as far as Joe was concerned was that it sidestepped the potential risk of a room at the castle. He trusted Twilight Sparkle’s motives but was less sure he agreed with Applejack about him not being unwelcome. Knowing he’d been discussed by Goddesses gave him even more empathy with how a mouse felt as it huddled and hoped if it stayed still the cat would forget it. Thankfully huddling rather than running about entertainingly seemed more what Princess Celestia wanted, so he’d likely not get a metaphorical paw swat to stir him back into motion.
The group broke up as Fluttershy left to check with the Ponies and Applejack to tell Granny Smith and Big Macintosh of the plans and see about how her chores and Joe’s could be organised. Since it was likely she would bring more outfits than the rest of her friends combined Spike took the chance to go with Rarity and help her pack. Twilight Sparkle looked at the still comfortably sprawled Rainbow Dash and the still trapped Joe and, with a slight shake of her head, went back downstairs to finish what Spike’s belch had interrupted. Pinkie Pie bestowed a giggle on the pair and then bounced away.
A few moments passed of silent companionship and then Rainbow Dash twisted in Joe’s lap to smile up at him. “Fancy that walk now?”
“My foot is feeling better,” Joe nodded.
Rainbow Dash nodded back and rose to her hooves, brushing her lips across Joe’s and stepping back. This encouragement backfired a little as, rather than follow more instantly, Joe spent a moment on surprise that he’d got a light ‘public’ kiss when they were alone and more the opposite when they’d been in a crowded bakery. Then he stood as he wondered if this came back to her wanting a way to mark him. Acting the gentleman he stepped past his marefriend to open the Golden Oaks Library door and hold it for her.
With another smile she trotted past him and Joe followed. They walked a short way from the library before Rainbow Dash frowned at the slight remaining limp and continued their conversation. “So, you hurt your foot when you kicked my Dad under his tail?”
“More likely when I kicked him under the jaw,” Joe replied, wondering how much detail Rainbow Dash’s father had gone into. “The other end was squishier, though I am glad of what it produced.”
“What it produced?” asked Rainbow Dash, giving Joe a very strange look.
“If he didn’t have those then how would he have fathered you?”
Rainbow Dash gave a slightly embarrassed giggle. “Oh.”
After another moment, and turning the corner for the general direction of Sweet Apple Acres, Rainbow Dash demanded that Joe told her all the details of the fight. This was something that Joe was not keen to do. Whatever desire he had to boast of his victory was overshadowed by the feeling that it had been a draw, at best, and that as well as he had done these blows had been landed on someone dear to his marefriend’s heart. He therefore focussed more on the embarrassment of forgetting the wing when he tried to dodge and of not noticing the Mane and Tail with all the dust.
“And of course,” Joe said as he finished his summary and they passed out of Ponyville, “I took a big risk with that knife throw…”
“Because you’d disarmed yourself?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“That too,” Joe nodded, “but I was thinking that, as much as I’ve said humans are good at throwing…”
“And proved it in Canterlot.”
Joe winced at that memory. “Yeah, but I was going to say different things need to be thrown differently. I’ve practiced throwing a spear and that worked with your dart as well, but knife throw is a very different action. Wouldn’t have been very impressive if it had gone wide or struck handle first.”
“Throwing wasn’t the only risk you took with your knife,” Rainbow Dash said, after pondering for a while.
“How so?” asked Joe.
Rainbow Dash stopped and gave him a serious look as he stopped in response. “You took a big risk not using it.”
“Well even before I belatedly recognised your father I didn’t think a pony would kill me,” Joe argued, “and I’d rather lose than kill when it wouldn’t have been to the death.”
“What if you’d had your spear?”
“That could have been messy,” Joe sighed. “I’m not sure I’d have done more than get out of the way, but might have met first swoop with that… and big and obvious enough a weapon that if somepony kept attacking, maybe after a warning, then I’d think… er”
“Think they’d deserve to get stabbed?” asked Rainbow Dash, starting to walk again. Normally by now she’d have started to fly but it took more concentration to fly close to Joe than it did to walk and she wasn’t feeling like the effort when it was just a lazy walk in no particular direction.
“Pretty much. They’d be able to see the danger, so they’d know they were taking that risk. Is the saying ‘you mess with the bull, you get the horns’ so…”
“I get it,” Rainbow Dash said, looking up and giving Joe a brief smile. “pick the wrong fight and what happens is your own fault.”
“Like kicking a Dragon?”
“Watch it,” Rainbow Dash mock-growled to the teasing, “you’ve said where my Dad hit you so I know where to prod.”
“Besides,” admitted Joe, “if I was thinking anything more complex in the heat of the fight than ‘got thing to hit and stab with, so hit and stab with it’, which I doubt I would be, I’d also feel that if they’re willing to risk being killed then they probably intend to kill. So definitely use the spear.”
Rainbow Dash looked worried as a concern that had been growing finally flowered. “Joe, you realise you can’t always assume ponyfolk are nice? You were so surprised that you were nearly having to fight that other stallion and you’ve been so embarrassed about human violence.”
“Hmm,” Joe nodded. “I might have let myself misjudge things by extremes… be embarrassed that humans have done or still do those things rather than remembering they’ve never happened to me or anyone I personally knew. So in terms of day to day life their absence doesn’t make much difference.” He paused and glanced down at Rainbow Dash. “Don’t get me wrong, I still think ponyfolk are nicer than most humans but…”
“But my dad was the first angry father to want to beat you up?”
Joe sighed and nodded again. “Just because Ponies don’t do the dreadful things doesn’t mean they’ll never do the less dreadful ones. The sorts of things that would just be embarrassing and might cause only minor trouble, like punching someone for being rude to your wife.”
They walked a short way on before Joe winced and pinched the brow of his nose.
“Gah, I think I didn’t take as much notice of Twilight’s warning about arrogance as I thought I had.”
“Arrogance?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“She pointed out it was arrogant, or at least over confident, to assume I could fight a Manticore well enough with the blunt end of my spear that I’d have time to switch to using the spearhead if… as it proved… I couldn’t drive it away with clubbing.”
“Well, you were able to fight it well enough,” Rainbow Dash pointed out, “even if that was helped by it being only a small one.”
“True,” agreed Joe. “But there was also assuming I could fight Diamond Dogs well enough to give Pinkie Pie and Spike time to escape. I thought I had listened but then, when we thought we were fighting Changelings, I used a tentpole only as a quarterstaff rather than a spear. And now I’ve assumed I could fight a Pegasus stallion well enough I wouldn’t need to draw my knife to stab rather than punch.”
“Which was better,” Rainbow Dash reassured him, “maybe stupid, but lucky. I don’t think you’re arrogant and, even if my Dad was holding back, you did well enough that you might be able to take a chance to be sure. I just want you to remember that you would be taking a chance.”
Joe slowly nodded. “Afford to be careful, but not too careful. Try not to die surprised.”
“Try not to die at all,” Rainbow Dash frowned.
“That would be preferable.”
The sun was warm enough as they continued their stroll that Joe thought of hats and realised that if Rarity was getting ready today, and would be in the Crystal Empire tomorrow, then he’d have to wait for her return. Still the sun was also bright enough to let him admire the colours of Rainbow Dash’s Mane and Tail and decide they looked far better on her than on her father. As well as beautiful she was looking pensive though.
“You say you don’t think a Pony would kill you,” Rainbow Dash said, returning to her topic, “so you wouldn’t stab it…”
“I might get some broken bones,” nodded Joe, “but, though I’ll try to be more cautious assuming it, I’d think it more likely a fight to defeat rather than death.”
“What would you think would be trying to kill you?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Other than things like the Manticore?”
“Hrm,” said Joe. “This isn’t a very cheery topic. I’ll admit that I don’t think another human would be trying to kill me, maybe hit me on the head and steal my money, but I’d draw my knife to warn them off. Though that would risk escalating it rather than ending it.”
“Voice of experience?”
“Had someone try to mug me once, they punched me, I punched them, we punched each other, they ran off. Not scary at the time but I did realise how lucky I was they didn’t have a knife.”
“So that tells me about your world…”
“Yeah,” Joe winced, wondering if he should have made that sound theoretical.
“But what about here?”
“Well, of things that can talk probably a Minotaur or a Griffon,” Joe mused, then he nodded. “Definitely a Griffon.”
“I can understand that,” smiled Rainbow Dash. “Though I did have a Griffon friend who was a Junior Speedster with me.”
“And when I was going through immigration there were a few, and some Minotaurs, in the classes on local custom. Though they were only visiting.” Joe sighed and continued. “I might be being unfair to the Minotaurs, be too influenced by their bloody place in human mythology… but Griffon? Even discounting every scrap of human mythology and stories they’re still carnivores with razor sharp beaks and talons and claws.”
“Can be bad tempered as well.”
“So now a knife seems even less compensation,” Joe smiled, “though going to warn me the opposite way? That I can’t assume all ponyfolk are nice and I can’t assume all Griffons are not?”
“Eh… not so much,” admitted Rainbow Dash. “If a Griffon attacks you then they might not eat you, but almost certain you’d get some more scars. They are one of the main reasons we have soldiers, despite also having Goddesses as rulers.”
“Certainly seems a good reason.”
“So,” Rainbow Dash asked. “How well would humans do against Griffons?”
“What?”
“You said Ponies could defeat a human army…”
Joe blinked before he remembered the battle he’d mentioned, and he had to chuckle before he could reply. “No… I said you could defeat a human army of more than two thousand years ago.”
“Oh. Right.”
“Griffons might do quite well against them, or could be a real stalemate,” Joe continued, tugging at his beard as he tried to picture it. “It wouldn’t take a very long spear to outrange beak and talon and keep the Griffons away, but would be difficult to hit them with arrows if they’ve got anywhere near Pegasus speed and agility. As one being a 'junior speedster' suggests.”
“And ‘modern’ humans?” asked Rainbow Dash, wondering if Joe would relax enough to answer properly.
“Wouldn’t find it so difficult to hit them. Be smaller targets than aeroplanes or helicopters, but…” Joe shook his head and gave a slightly feral grin.
To Rainbow Dash’s pleasure Joe didn’t seem to be choosing his words with care. He gave the disclaimer he was going on fiction and guesses but rather than try to hide or downplay things he appeared to be talking quite freely and answering the questions she asked in the same way. A story where human Tank crews were pleased that demons were just as crunchy as anything else when they rolled over them didn’t seem like something he’d have mentioned a while ago. Then when she wondered if he was being too confident for his people he actually sounded more proud than embarrassed as he argued the flip side of human history was that if you have that many wars then you tended to stay in practice.
Eventually Joe wound down and looked a little embarrassed. “Oh, and I got trapped into lecturing Twilight and I’ve told you but please don’t tell Pinkie Pie.”
“Tell her what?”
“That when humans had cannons that look like her Party Cannon they were used to fire solid lumps of metal to kill and maim, rather than party streamers and decorations.”
“You got it,” Rainbow Dash smiled, flapping up briefly to hover and snap Joe a salute.
Joe smiled at that. Somehow when he was with her he forgot his troubles, even the one that an Immortal Goddess of the Sun might have been able to watch the entire conversation since she had claimed she could be observing him that closely. So by that token it was a mixed blessing that it didn’t seem he’d ever been able to be as guarded with Rainbow Dash. He’d told her about throwing darts while they were walking back from the hills. Then when she’d brought some he’d happily shared the use and tactics of Plumbata and then onto talking about Ponies versus those humans. Then rather than leave it to just the math of kinetic energy he’d mentioned tanks and armour piercing darts. And all of that before they had kissed, if the last only just before.
“Actually, darling, can you keep most of this… quiet,” Joe asked.
“You’re still worried about things?” asked Rainbow Dash in reply, landing and noticing the endearment.
“Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to talk to you and feel like I can share. You did wince a little at some of the descriptions…”
“You made them quite vivid.”
“It’s just…” Joe stopped walking. “I’ve said more to you than I did to Princess Celestia before she warned me to be cautious, though not as much as I said to Twilight when she ambushed me with her questions…”
“So you still owe me some words?” teased Rainbow Dash.
“Maybe the opposite,” Joe replied, managing a smile. “Was the day we kissed for the first time so I was preoccupied.”
“Er, yeah, and she knew that,” said Rainbow Dash, not very diplomatically. “I’d talked about it with her.”
“Gah, and I’d decided it would be too conceited to assume you were talking about me,” Joe said, giving an exaggerated wince. Then his expression soured as he realised that even if it hadn’t been malicious it had been deliberate.
“Joe?” asked Rainbow Dash, seeing the shift in her special somehuman’s face.
She’d noticed that there still a distance between Joe and Twilight Sparkle. At the lake the latter had seemed more interested in the facts than the banter surrounding them. Twilight Sparkle wasn’t treating Joe in the same way as, rumour had it, she’d treated Pinkie Pie when the mystery of Pinkie-Sense caught her attention, but she seemed to want to assess him physically and mentally and solve his ‘mystery’ before she could relax. So Rainbow Dash didn’t want Joe to also feel he couldn’t relax.
“So, how Pegasi fight Griffons?” Joe asked, trying to change the subject. In hindsight he had regretted answering Twilight Sparkle’s questions so fully but she’d been enough help with the aeronautics and then the cosmology and metrology that it was easy to forgive her seizing the chance of him being confused. Not forget as he did intend to take more care with his words around her, but forgive. “I hope not the same way as you fought the supposed Changeling.”
“Why not?” frowned Rainbow Dash, looking up at Joe as they continued their walk.
“They are partially bird of prey so I’d think they’d want to get to grips. So maybe emulate a shark, they make a pass and a strike and then leave larger prey to bleed and weaken. Which also worked with human aircraft, had faster fighters and nimbler fighters so the former dove through the latter and then climbed to dive in another attack.”
“Which is fine for them,” Rainbow Dash pointed out, “since I suppose they have these ‘guns’. Though if those work for humans then…”
“Hmm,” nodded Joe, “recoil and reloading though. Perhaps we should get back to your throwing darts, be hard to hit with one but I did mention tanks could fire a lot of little ones rather than one big one…”
“So we are actually getting back to your arrows,” Rainbow Dash nodded back. “Drop several from a quiver at once.”
“Maybe a head to head pass, but back-flap and pull up and leave those to continue on… wait…”
“Wait?”
“I’m finding it interesting,” Joe admitted before giving her a dubious look, “but I’m walking along on a lovely day with a lovely lady and this is what I started talking about?”
“Would you rather talk about foals?” winked Rainbow Dash.
“I’d rather not imagine what your father would have done to me if we were at that stage of things.”
“True…” Rainbow Dash giggled.
“At least it means I met him without having to go to Cloudsdale,” sighed Joe.
Rainbow Dash gave him a slight frown. “What’s wrong with Cloudsdale?”
“Nothing, I just can’t fly.”
“You could always ask Twilight for the spell she gave Rarity, I think you’d look cute with butterfly wings.”
“Yeah,” Joe winced, exaggerating his expression, “I think I’d rather ‘borrow’ the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ Microlight.”
“You’d still need a cloud walking spell,” said Rainbow Dash, taking off to look Joe in the face, “but what?”
“The reason I couldn’t use the barn for the petsitting,” Joe smiled, “is they’re already building a full sized one.”
“Whoa,” blinked Rainbow Dash, turning in the air and rising a little in automatic reaction before she settled, “I have got to see this.”
“Okay.”
Pivoting on her wings Rainbow Dash looked at him again. “Not sounding as enthusiastic.”
“Just hadn’t expected them to not need my help this soon,” Joe admitted, “so was a surprise to be shown the skeleton.”
Rainbow Dash nodded to this, though she thought Joe was underestimating the sheer enthusiasm of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. He seemed to be assuming the fillies had made a well thought out decision to go ahead without him and that they were right to think they could. Maybe she was biased but she didn’t think her special somehuman was as dispensable as he seemed to feel. She was sure he’d have to step in at some point to help solve some problem. So she had better get him there so she could see this for herself and check if his feelings were right or if, far more likely, he was wrong and she was right.
“Come on then slow-poke,” teased Rainbow Dash. “had enough walking, so now you can test your foot.”
“And you can just as effortlessly keep pace,” Joe smiled back.
Trying to be obliging he sped from a walk to a jog and after several seconds to see if the twinges were too bad he tried speeding up. They’d been taking the path that led past his hut but Rainbow Dash zipped straight past, doing little loops and spirals to waste some time and energy as Joe tried to speed up again. As they passed some scuffmarks Joe nodded to them and commented what had caused them, hooves or crash or wrestling, and Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. Then did a spiralling upward roll to show off, making Joe nearly trip as he watched that rather than where he was going.
Before Joe could get too out of breath or be tempted into trying to sprint they reached Sweet Apple Acres and, with a final flourish of side-slipping back and forth to come down almost vertically like a falling leaf, Rainbow Dash landed lightly next to him. Joe smiled to her and they approached the barn, fortunately managing to get inside without having Granny Smith spot them and demand Joe come and help work out his chores. As the Cutie Mark Crusaders noticed their visitors Scootaloo did her humming bird impression and buzzed over to greet her heroine.
“Rainbow Dash!”
“Hi squirt,” replied Rainbow Dash, giving Scootaloo a quick mane-ruffle that made no difference to the smaller Pegasus’ hairstyle.
“As soon as I mentioned this to Dash she had to come and see,” Joe smiled to the three fillies, “though, alas for Scootaloo, you were denied her arriving five minutes sooner…”
“Ten,” corrected Rainbow Dash.
“I’m not sure I even took that long…” Joe protested, looking at her.
“Okay, nine and a half,” offered Rainbow Dash.
“Thanks to her not flying ahead,” Joe said, looking back at Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, “she didn’t arrive an unspecified time sooner.”
“Ten minutes sooner,” nodded Rainbow Dash, going back to her original figure. “Still, as delayed as I was, I’m here now so how about you show off what you’ve done so I can be as impressed as Joe sounded.”
With a vast amount of enthusiasm, and a few corrections from Apple Bloom, Scootaloo launched into it. This chance was not one to be missed and she was really pleased at how much this was seeming to impress Rainbow Dash. A little disappointed that her heroine didn’t ask more questions and give her even more chance to show off, but still really pleased. After a while Scootaloo wound down and Rainbow Dash had long since realised she didn’t know that much about how this thing was supposed to work.
She could give them a lot of advice when they got it flying on how to fly, spotting updrafts and downdrafts, avoiding or using wind shears, how they should try to make it move to avoid stalling or losing control. But as useful as she knew that would be, and as awesome as she expected Scootaloo would think it, that was no help right now. The length of the lecture and how much it seemed the Cutie Mark Crusaders knew hadn’t changed her opinion though that Joe was going to have to do a lot more than he thought.
“You’re going to have to make things filly sized,” Rainbow Dash teased. “I learned about this because Joe threatened to ‘borrow’ it if he was going to visit Cloudsdale.”
“Maybe less embarrassing than butterfly wings,” nodded Joe, “though I would have a problem since when I say I can’t fly I do also mean that I’ve never flown an aeroplane or anything.”
“You could still borrow it if you liked,” Sweetie Belle assured him, wincing slightly as her eye for design saw Joe with those wings.
“Thank you,” nodded Joe.
“Even if you’d already advised us ta arrange the controls in a way much better for us than for you,” Apple Bloom added.
“That would be another problem, filly shaped as well as sized,” smiled Joe. “Be a little cramped for me.”
Joe looked at the Microlight and chuckled.
“What?” Rainbow Dash asked, recognising the signs that her special somehuman was about to go off on a tangent.
“I had a rather vivid dream,” said Joe, giving her a smile, “maybe because was the night before the talk at the school, maybe because I’d seen how magnificent you were fighting that supposed Changeling… and I was flying something faster and more powerful than this.”
“I’d still be flying rings around you,” Rainbow Dash winked.
“Oh yes, you were,” admitted Joe, “and I did say to Scootaloo that we’d not be able to build a scramjet for several times the speed of sound.”
“What were you thinking of then?” Apple Bloom asked.
“You remember I mentioned the last generation of propeller driven fighter planes, though not that they were fighters designed to destroy other planes?”
“Yep!” said Scootaloo, managing almost as much enthusiasm for this as she had for the arrival of Rainbow Dash. “Almost the speed of sound in a dive!”
“There’s one that is rather dear to my nation’s heart, so was one of those I was flying, and having rings flown around me by Dash. Same plane as the test pilot book I mentioned with the prototype and the dried peas.”
“And you’d rather be flying one of those to Cloudsdale?” Rainbow Dash teased.
“No offence to the Microlight,” said Joe, nodding to the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
Apple Bloom nodded back. “Got to make a good impression on Rainbow Dash’s folks.”
Joe and Rainbow Dash exchanged smiles and he decided he’d rather not say that her father had tried to make an impression on him. It looked like a comment his marefriend might be about to make though so he tried to fill the brief silence.
“Though Dash mentioning Griffons, and thinking of that plane, reminds me of an anecdote from the same book…”
“Which he is telling to avoid saying my dad was visiting Ponyville from after the coronation until earlier today,” Rainbow Dash interrupted, “and so Joe has met him.”
“How did it go?” asked Sweetie Belle, far more interested in this than an anecdote she’d have to politely endure.
“Better than it might have done,” Joe replied.
“By which he means he escaped without broken bones,” grinned Rainbow Dash.
Sweetie Belle gasped as she’d been thinking more of tea and conversation, but Scootaloo just nodded at this news. “Good. Anecdote.”
“The later marks of that aeroplane had a larger engine called the Griffon, which was why I was reminded,” Joe nodded back. “Though I was also reminded in Canterlot when they mentioned a Wonderbolts Derby and I thought of air races.”
“Right,” said Scootaloo encouragingly.
“At that point the production models were still using the smaller engine, but there was very little difference in width or height and with the extra parts to keep performance at higher altitude there was not much difference in length either…”
“But if humans are watching then a race would be close to the ground?” asked Apple Bloom, picking up on what else had reminded Joe.
“Skipping ahead a bit, but yes,” Joe smiled. “They could fit the larger engine into the existing airframe, and had tried it, but to have enough room for the extra parts and take full advantage of the extra power would need a proper redesign. Then one day the test pilot got a message from a friend that there was going to be a race, his plane against two newer ones… one of which had been captured from the enemy… and realised the Spitfire…”
“Spitfire?” repeated Scootaloo, looking puzzled. “Like the leader of the Wonderbolts?”
“Spitfire. Like the Supermarine Spitfire,” Joe replied, a little more firmly than he realised or intended.
“Okay,” said Scootaloo appeasingly. “I think I see where this is going.”
“I did rather give away the ending,” Joe admitted. “Anyway, the Spitfire was going to be the average boring fighter, with the drama being which of the other two would win and how much they would beat it by. Which as the test pilot had been flying them since the very first prototype he felt quite insulted by, insulted enough to ask his boss if he could take the innocent and normal looking prototype with the Griffon engine in it. And his boss was insulted enough to give him permission…”
“How much did he win by?” asked Sweetie Belle, hoping this was as short an anecdote as it seemed.
“Very comfortably,” Joe grinned. Then he looked at the Cutie Mark Crusaders and clapped his hands. “So come on girls!”
“Eh?” asked Scootaloo.
“Now you have to build me a Spitfire so Dash can have another new flying buddy…” Joe replied, starting to pace and gesture, “except out of wood like a De Havilland Mosquito rather than metal.”
“Right,” said Apple Bloom.
“And,” Joe continued, his voice rising slightly with each point, “with a magical engine rather than petrol. And probably with the undercarriage folding in towards the fuselage rather than out towards the wing tips. And unarmed. And maybe hydraulics rather than cables. And enough room that Apple Bloom or Sweetie Belle can come along to teach me to fly it…”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders had started to giggle as Joe continued to list and gesture and pace and they realised he was being silly.
“Ah get th’ idea,” smiled Apple Bloom.
“Seriously though,” Joe replied, his voice and expression suiting that opening word, “you have continued to do excellent work and as much as I have a right to be proud of you I am. This does look sturdy and powerful enough to be closer to the stunt plane Scootaloo wanted than the simple Microlight I’d already doubted could be built. I can see why Apple Bloom said you three together were mad geniuses who could build anything.”
“Thanks Joe,” nodded Scootaloo.
“Though ah didn’t say mad,” Apple Bloom corrected him.
“Though you two are,” said Sweetie Belle, correcting her.
They talked with and helped the Cutie Mark Crusaders for half an hour or so, mentioning the Princess Summit and that if Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle wanted to spend some time with their sisters they’d better go and see them soon. Most of Rainbow Dash’s time however was spent encouraging the fillies to make Joe move heavy things from one place to another, and then catcalling him as he had to move and bend and stretch and flex. Though she did restrain herself to comments not unsuitable to be said in front of fillies of that age the flush that appeared on Joe’s cheeks was more embarrassment than exertion.
“Got revenge for your father?” Joe asked as he set down a wing spar, very close to where he had got it from.
“I was just helping you put on a show,” said Rainbow Dash innocently.
“And making me use this shoulder,” Joe smiled, rotating his right shoulder, “and flex the side with the bruise he left, and you prodded.”
“Oh,” replied Rainbow Dash. With as little as he had made of it she’d genuinely forgotten.
“Anyway, if I’m going to be staying at Fluttershy’s cottage…” Joe began.
“You ain’t going?” asked Apple Bloom.
“No, pet sitting and house sitting,” Joe nodded, “but I still have to get some things packed.”
“But the Crystal Empire is so… crystally and romantic,” argued Sweetie Belle. “Don’t you want to spend some time there with Rainbow Dash?”
“Yes,” Joe nodded again, “so if they aren’t going to be too busy I might take a day trip.”
“That isn’t the same,” pouted Sweetie Belle.
“You said it,” Rainbow Dash grumbled, “but I had better get some things packed as well, and go get Tank to take him to Fluttershy’s.”
“See you there?” asked Joe.
“Depends how soon you get there,” Rainbow Dash winked, “I’m not going to wait for you to plod your way there for too long.”
Joe smiled at this and with some farewells to the Cutie Mark Crusaders the pair left the barn. Rainbow Dash took off, hovered for a moment to give Joe a smile, and then arced away towards her cottage. Joe waved to her before jogging into motion towards his hut, he expected she’d wait until all the others had delivered their pets but he didn’t feel like dawdling. And he didn’t notice the faint line of Rainbow Dash changing direction to circle around.
==
Fluttershy smiled as she heard the knock. Knuckles made a subtly different noise on wood than hooves did so she was sure who was on the other side of her door and that when the ‘prank’ was sprung he’d enjoy it. Restoring her face to her usual calm and slight shy smile she fluttered over, she was trying to use her wings a little more, and opened the door.
“Hello Joe.”
“Hello Fluttershy,” Joe replied, shifting his grip on his large saggy bag. “Everything go well with your visits?”
“Oh, yes…”
Fluttershy went through the Ponies she had spoken to and how they could help and Joe made some notes, interrupted only a few times by a raspberry from Angel Bunny and Joe feeling the need to respond in kind. There was not much difference in spending a few days at the cottage rather than one, although Joe was not pleased that, as he’d part suspected, there was a midnight feed for the nocturnal creatures. He commented that some humans did prefer to sleep a few hours, be awake for an hour or two, and then sleep the rest and he and Fluttershy had a brief chat about how that had become unusual rather than normal. She also took the chance to ask Joe about the fish and Joe admitted feeding the pets, why he’d had second thoughts, and agreed to stick to pet food.
Gradually the others arrived with their pets and those were settled. Opalescence found herself the top of some shelves to glare at Rarity despite the Unicorn’s attempts to apologise that she had to go away for a few days. Applejack had shown the foresight to run Winona around until she was ready to snooze, though Joe remembered how brief a nap the Collie had needed to have boundless energy before. Owlowiscious gave a young smaller whippersnapper of an Owl a look and claimed himself a perch. Angel Bunny scowled at all the intruders. And Tank and Gummy found themselves a patch of floorboards to stand and blink at each other and amuse themselves that way.
They chatted for a while to firm their plans and for Rarity to make sure that her precious Opalescence would be pampered as she deserved, an effort that earned her a tiny degree of forgiveness from the white Persian. Then it was time for the Ponies to leave after a final round of pet loving and Applejack and Rainbow Dash telling Winona and Tank to ‘stay’. Although Fluttershy gave Angel Bunny the same instructions Joe decided to scoop him up as the Ponies moved towards the door.
“It’s not that I don’t trust you…” Joe told the rabbit.
“Ppppbbbbbbbttttttttt!” replied Angel Bunny.
“It’s that I don’t trust you,” Joe finished. “And ppppbbttt back.”
As the others left Fluttershy suddenly squeaked as if she had remembered something and turned back to face Joe. “Oh, before you do anything else can you go and see if I left the bird seed bucket out the back?”
“Sure,” Joe nodded.
The door clicked shut behind them and Joe released Angel Bunny. An exchange of mutual raspberries and Joe headed for the back door. Seemed no point in sitting down and getting up again when he could just check now. He went outside, turned to shut the back door behind him, turned back to look for the bucket and suddenly had a face full of Rainbow Dash. Her lips worked on his as he caught her and rather than just cradle her rear he found his fingers moving to squeeze and massage it a little as well. She pulled back and smiled at him.
“I think I prefer this method of attack from something with a rainbow mane,” Joe said, one corner of his mouth quirking.
“Silly!” replied Rainbow Dash, returning to the attack.
As this second kiss went on Joe leaned back so he could slide down the wall and bring his marefriend into his lap. Rainbow Dash twisted as the kiss finished and they settled so she was sitting with her left side against him, his left arm supporting her and unfurling her right wing along that arm as she placed her right foreleg on his left shoulder. Joe took advantage of the profile view to begin trailing kisses down the left side of her neck, from the base of her ear, and his right hand came around to stroke back along her flank and across her hip and Cutie Mark…
Rainbow Dash squirmed with a happy giggle. “I get it!”
“Get what?” Joe asked, reluctantly using his lips to talk.
“You remember after I kissed you the first time?”
“Hard to forget…” Joe replied, nibbling at the base of her left ear a little.
Rainbow Dash’s ear flicked slightly in reaction. “Oooooh.”
“Ow,” Joe protested as her ear whacked him lightly between the eyes. He felt like rubbing there and the bridge of his nose, but he felt far more like leaving his hands where they were on his sweetheart.
“Ooops,” said Rainbow Dash, turning her head to grin at him. “But you remember you said it felt right me being in your lap? But it felt cosy?”
“Yes?” Joe asked, smiling back.
“Well,” replied Rainbow Dash as she moved her lips towards his again, “I get what you mean about it still being cosy, but with a little more passion…”
Joe blinked as his conscious thoughts caught up with his reactions and he realised just how much he’d been working on instinct. And therefore how much his instincts were working. “A litt…”
Rainbow Dash closed the final fraction to end his protest very enjoyably.
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A comment on the note of this chapter. The Harrier Jump jet. The only currently working fixed wing VTOL. American engineered and built, then we turned around and sold the only jet able to curtsey to the British. So yeah, if you want to get in an aviation pissing match, that is about the only ammunition I really need for at least two jokes about British engineering and British customs. Any ways, on with an enjoyable twist on an existing concept!
Excuse me forgiving? This celestia wanted to either banish or turn Joe to stone when he first arrived and I never saw an end to her xenophobia towards him and then threatened to turn him to stone for acting like a friend and has not once been friendly towards him heck Luna is being far less impulsive about judging him in this story and she is shown as the more impulsive one in most of the stories I've read
At least if they get that fast plane made dash dad will be more impressed by him.