Joe

by JMDARE

Chapter 19

The Golden Oaks Library had a surprisingly spacious basement laboratory beneath it and Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie both remembered how many machines Twilight Sparkle had at her disposal there. And how determined she had been to analyse the results of the potion she’d brewed and to try to find the mechanism for Pinkie Pie’s Pinkie-sense. Rainbow Dash glanced around and wondered if one seemingly new machine would fit Joe better than it would any Pony.

“Why does Joe have to be careful?”

“Apparently,” Twilight Sparkle replied, “he was warned by Princess Celestia that if he wasn’t he might have to leave.”

“Oh,” said Rainbow Dash, remembering that Joe had hinted at such. But rather than admit that he’d admitted it would be egotistical to think he could change Equestia and had told her about Plumbata instead.

“I doubt it was as serious as he thought,” Twilight Sparkle continued, “but I overheard him telling Spike he was concerned about the letters to the Princess and that if he had to leave, as he had been warned of the chance of, it had been nice knowing him.”

“Oh,” repeated Rainbow Dash, glad that it wasn’t that Joe had told the others directly when he hadn’t her.

“So, what did you want to talk about Rainbow?”

“Can you make me look human, or more human? Temporarily.”

“What? Why?”

“I kissed Joe.”

“What?” Twilight Sparkle almost shrieked.

“No need to sound so shocked,” said Rainbow Dash, drawing her head back away from the shrillness and in slight offence, “it’s not that grotesque.”

“No, no… I mean,” Twilight Sparkle spluttered. “Hmm, perhaps you had better start from the beginning?”

“Well, after I saw what the darts had done to Joe’s target I got a little worried… I like being awesome but despite what he’d said I hadn’t realised it would be that awesome…”

==

Joe glanced away from the papers and books as he heard the distance attenuated shriek. He’d been a little concerned at the coincidence of Rainbow Dash coming to visit Twilight Sparkle today but had dismissed it. They were good friends so they likely spoke every day and assuming what they were going to talk about had to do with him was rather narcissistic. That sounded like a noise of surprise though.

“Don’t fret none,” Apple Bloom said, returning Joe’s attention to the table, “I expect there’s no trouble. Just sounds like Rainbow annoyed Twilight again.”

“One time Twilight had been working on a potion for years,” added Sweetie Belle, “and Rainbow Dash took and drank it.”

“Which was awesome!” Scootaloo said. “The extra speed Rainbow Dash got from the effects and the…”

“Scootaloo,” said Apple Bloom.

“Yeah,” Scootaloo conceded, “and then when she tried a Sonic Rainboom with that extra power things were still awesome, but not in a good way.”

“Normal Sonic Rainboom can make quite th’ rumble,” explained Apple Bloom. “That one smacked walls and roofs off buildings all over Ponyville.”

“Interesting,” Joe nodded, “though I can see why even Scootaloo has trouble being enthusiastic about that.”

“Hey!”

“Did it just enhance her strength and speed?” Joe continued.

“Ah think so, though would work differently fer different Ponies,” replied Apple Bloom.

“Worked very differently on Pinkie Pie when Twilight Sparkle made some more,” Sweetie Belle nodded, “depends on the Pony’s talent.”

Joe chuckled. “Sounds like the Super Soldier Serum…”

“Th’ what now?” Apple Bloom asked.

“One of the fictional heroes I have mentioned was given that treatment, and at first it seemed to be just to improve him physically. I’m not sure how much they changed it in the monthly stories they publish of him but certainly in the film they made they altered it so that it also amplified what he was inside. So an evil man who stole and took the serum became even worse and it was even more important that they chose a good brave man, rather than one who was merely physically strong. So much more important in fact that they chose someone who was physically weak since the serum and treatment would correct that.”

“Is that what you think they gave you?” Scootaloo asked.

“Hah, I doubt it. I don’t feel any better mentally…” said Joe, trailing off as he remembered what he had just said. The super soldier serum didn’t make you feel better, it amplified what you had inside and in his case that could include a tendency to shyness and being introverted. It seemed a pitiful excuse though to think he’d been given something similar and blame that for his months of relative isolation.

“Joe?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Hmm? Oh. Yes, I’m certainly improved in body and whatever Twilight and Zecora did when I arrived or when they were treating me for the kitten-scratches…”

“Please don’t call them that,” Sweetie Belle said, using a touch of filly-eyes, “they are nasty so calling them that makes it sound like you weren’t really hurt.”

“Alright, or when they were treating me for being mauled,” said Joe, getting a small white Unicorn nod, “seems to have worked well, especially with my exercise and practice, but if humans can have a special talent I don’t think that mine was enhanced.”

“We can still make you an honorary Cutie Mark Crusader,” Apple Bloom nodded with a wobble of her bow, “since you are a blank-flank…”

“And how do you know that?” asked Joe with the strange looking, to Ponies, facial contortion of a raised eyebrow.

“Your shorts weren’t very long,” Sweetie Belle pointed out, “and if you had one then at least the edge might have been visible.”

“Maybe, maybe not, they do seem to be right at the top of the leg,” said Joe, “but that would answer how you knew that Sweetie Belle, since you helped Rarity when she was making measurements, rather than how Apple Bloom would know.”

“I… er…” Apple Bloom started, not wanting to admit she’d peeked.

“Still even if I am a blank-flank, which I am,” smiled Joe, taking mercy on the filly, “there is the problem that would be permanent. Unless I got a tattoo which I won’t.”

“Tattoo?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“As human skin is, mostly, bare you can see designs made by injecting pigment into the skin…”

==

Twilight Sparkle nodded as Rainbow Dash finished her rather disorganised account of the morning’s events. She had not gone into great detail of the conversations or, to Twilight Sparkle’s relief, of the kisses but she had said enough that it sounded like the latter had flowed nicely from the former. That Joe had been pleasant and charming and worth kissing. It also sounded that he had been honest in those compliments and in his explanations and his concern that Rainbow Dash not be upset.

“Could Joe have been right?” Twilight Sparkle asked, deciding to raise her main concern.

“What about?”

“That it could just have been the moment, that you were excited and had to kiss someone?”

“Weren’t you listening?” frowned Rainbow Dash.

“I was, but you do seem to be rushing things.”

“Er, duh, I am me! When have you known me to not go straight for what I want?”

“But is this what you want? Would you really be happy with someone who can’t accept you as you are?”

“I… he likes me, he thinks I am… it’s not his fault he can’t… you know. With me as I am.”

“Or with any Pony, as they are.”

“What?” Rainbow Dash asked, wondering if Joe had been as honest as she’d thought about her friend having shown no interest in his person. “Have you…”

“No,” said Twilight Sparkle firmly, “I have not tried with him and, as far as I know, neither has any other Pony.”

“Then…”

“In the same conversation with Spike I overheard him, as part of reassuring Spike about his lack of interest in Rarity that way, say much the same thing as he said to you. That he knows we are people and can think we are lovely, but can’t feel it.”

“Oh! He mentioned he’d said that to Spike, but I’d not realised it was the same conversation you’d heard.” Rainbow Dash blushed. “Sorry.”

“So he wasn’t lying to you when he said it to you,” continued Twilight Sparkle, frowning thoughtfully and adding, “or if he was then he was sticking to the same lie as he’d already told Spike.”

“Twilight!”

“I don’t think he is lying, and I am trying to reassure you that it was not just you, but I felt I should mention the other in case it later occurred to you and you got worried again.”

Rainbow Dash nodded. “So… magic?”

“That might be my Element and my special talent, but I’d rather figure out Joe’s problem and solve it another way. Tell me something Rainbow, did Joe ever suggest he would be willing to turn into a Pony? Or is it only you who needs to change?”

“I didn’t suggest I’d be willing to turn into a human, to him.”

“But he was talking about how he’d react differently if you looked human or more human? And did mention Discord’s offer and said he didn’t accept it because he’d not be him if he was a Pony?”

“If he stayed a Pony,” Rainbow Dash corrected, “and I agree with him, I don’t think I’d be me if I stayed human permanently. I’d like to be human, see what it’s like, but I like being a Pegasus and…”

“And?”

“And you are right, I like being a Pegasus and I would like him to like me as a Pegasus.”

“Which apparently he does,” Twilight Sparkle said, bringing a satisfied smile to Rainbow Dash’s face. “But it is strange that he doesn’t do more than like you… unless… and he was shocked…”

“Unless? Shocked?”

“I wonder… has he ever mentioned anything other than humans on his world? Anything that can talk I mean?”

“I…” Rainbow Dash began, but Twilight Sparkle was already heading back up the stairs. With a sense of foreboding she flew after her friend.

==

To his relief Joe had managed to get away from the subject of tattoos and back onto the subject of flight. They had agreed that ‘proper’ control surfaces would be better than half-assing it and the Cutie Mark Crusaders had agreed that was an amusing way of putting it. Once they had finished giggling and enjoying Joe’s embarrassment they had managed to talk about how to control the Microlight. Joe had argued for the same style as humans and had needed to squirm slightly to demonstrate how intuitive they were.

Push forward and push the nose down, pull back and pull it up, push left or right and push the left or right wing down, push the left or right rudder pedal and the plane twists left or right in the same way as, if there was too much travel on the pedals, you’d be twisting in your chair. This seemed fair to Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle but Scootaloo wanted to use her wings as well.

“Hmm,” Joe mused, “I can sympathise with that, humans have tried to build machines to mirror the operator’s movements as that is more intuitive, but any controls that are wing operated would be useless to your friends. Besides if we build a Microlight I was hoping it would last long enough you’d be able to fly by yourself.”

“That could be a while,” Apple Bloom said, a little unkindly.

“Hey!”

“I was thinking of arranging things so you three could fit in, so one long cockpit…”

“Why’s it called that?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Ah think it might be because human pilots are male?” suggested Apple Bloom.

“Could be, I’m not sure,” Joe said, not admitting the possible link with the shape of the pits in which fighting cockerels were pitted against each other. “But one long one, like a bobsleigh, rather than separate, so it could be three small chairs now and then two and maybe only one as you grow.”

“So how would this stick and pedals make the flappy things flap?” asked Scootaloo.

“Or the engine go faster and slower, would also have a throttle,” Joe pointed out. “And the answer is probably pulleys and cables.” He made yet another quick sketch and looked at it. “Have to work this out properly but basically you move that, it pulls the cable, and the cable pulls the ‘flappy thing’. Has the advantage that you can feel how hard the ‘flappy thing’ is becoming to move, if you are going too fast.”

“Problems?” said Scootaloo, noticing Joe had only said ‘probably’.

“Cables can jam, get caught on their guides. So the alternative would be hydraulics, move the controls, that presses the cylinder there and the pressure pushes the cylinder at the ‘flappy thing’, as long as the hose hasn’t leaked. Though can double or triple up, make it two or three small cylinders and narrow hoses rather than just one bigger one…”

“Or you could use magic.”

Joe turned in his chair and smiled to Twilight Sparkle. “Or that, and especially since the ‘engine’ would be magical.”

“Sorry for the interruption girls and Joe,” Twilight Sparkle continued.

“Not at all,” said Joe reassuringly. “We’d appreciate your and Dash’s ideas. I’ve talked about control surfaces and how to use them, but magic might alter the airflow better and be more intuitive to use.” Joe quickly ran through the position of the ‘flappy things’ and how they made the plane roll, pitch, and yaw and then how those motions were reflected in the control stick and rudder pedals combination. “But if you could, I don’t know, make it so they put their hoof on a glowy thing and glows on the wings respond to their thoughts…”

“What makes you think that would be possible?” Twilight Sparkle asked, looking baffled at the way his mind worked.

“Because humans can almost do that,” winked Joe, “getting towards being able to read brainwaves and translate them well enough that things could be controlled without doing more than twitch at most. Fun thing is that had some science fiction set two hundred and fifty years from now and we can already build far better aids for paralysed people than was shown in that series fifty years ago.”

Twilight Sparkle exchanged a glance with the uncharacteristically quiet Rainbow Dash as Joe once more mentioned that humans could do something rather than that people could do it or that anything else on his world could. “Joe,” she said, “are humans the only intelligent things on your world?”

“Depends how you define intelligence,” replied Joe, sounding a little puzzled at the change of subject. “Nothing else that we can talk to properly, we have taught some Chimpanzees and Gorillas sign language…”

“Sign Language?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Sometimes humans can’t talk or can’t hear, so there are a few languages based on gesture,” said Joe, making a few before admitting, “not that I know any proper signs, but that sort of combination of hand shape and movement and position.”

“And these Chimpanzees and Gorillas are able to learn it?” Twilight Sparkle asked.

“To an extent, well enough to make them seem even more like people but hundreds rather than thousands of signs and their conversation is simple.”

“Even more?” Twilight Sparkle asked again, continuing her questioning.

“There is enough of a gap between humans and everything else, even the other Great Apes… the Gorilla, Chimpanzee, Bonobo, and Orang-utan who are our closest living relatives… that some religions divided the world into Man and Beast. But we have found many of our supposedly defining traits are also present in other animals, and on a spiritual level it is hard to think your species unique and separate when you look into something’s eyes and see a person looking back at you. So it’s more of a sliding scale now, or at least that’s how I feel.”

“What do you see when you look into our eyes?” Rainbow Dash suddenly demanded.

“I told you that I see people, and to the full extent,” replied Joe, looking puzzled. “You have towns and books and culture and technology and history…”

“And nothing but humans have that on your world?” Twilight Sparkle interrupted.

“Dolphins seem to have a language and pass every intelligence test we can think of, so there is some debate if they don’t have things because they aren’t smart enough or if it’s just they don’t need anything more than their bodies. As to the other Great Apes…” Joe paused and thought. “The Chimpanzees and Gorillas are smart enough to have learned some sign language, and I think one Chimpanzee taught it to her children and the rest of her group, but not smart enough to have invented it. Some Orang-utans are smart enough to paddle a boat along with their hands, but humans are the only ones smart enough to not only make that simple boat but vast and complex ships…”

“As you said, there’s a gap. No wonder your response when you woke up here was ‘talking horsie’.”

Joe gave Twilight Sparkle a mild glare as the Cutie Mark Crusaders dissolved into fresh giggles. He’d forgotten he’d mentioned that to Spike in the conversation that she had confessed to listening to. But then he saw the funny side again and grinned. “And no wonder after that response they checked me for brain damage and reassured me they could bring a simpler book if the History of Equestria they had given me was too difficult for me to read.”

The giggling of the Cutie Mark Crusaders redoubled and even the worrying dour looking Rainbow Dash managed a smile at that. Eventually the Fillies wound down and Apple Bloom looked to Joe. “Why do y’all need ‘vast and complex ships’ anyhow?”

“You know I said was only a narrow sea channel between my country’s island and the country where they talk fancy?”

“Uh-huh?”

“Well about three quarters of my world’s surface is covered in oceans and seas and though the ocean between my country and the country Equestria seems to have the most parallels to is only the second largest, by a long way, that is more like a hundred times as far.”

Joe paused and wondered if he had got that wrong. But it seemed pernickety to correct himself and he was sure there was some route you could take to some part of that landmass that would be about that distance.

“Parallels?” Scootaloo frowned. “Like what?”

“Well, here has Manehattan and there has Manhattan,” said Joe, making Scootaloo’s frown deepen. “and Rainbow Dash mentioned Fillydelphia…”

“Only because they got the Equestria Games rather than Cloudsdale,” Rainbow Dash muttered.

“With Clydesdale being a sort of large horse on my world,” smiled Joe, “but to get back to country parallels… I told Rainbow Dash about the people who first had our version of the Equestria Games, the Olympics, and they had words for three sorts of love. There was Eros, romantic love, Agape, love for people in general… which seems to be what Pinkie Pie has, and Philos, familial or brotherly love.”

“Why brotherly?” Apple Bloom objected.

“Yeah, why not sisterly?” added Sweetie Belle.

“Because they were a male dominated society,” Joe replied, “and the parallel is that you have Fillydelphia, as in you three fine Fillies, and the country on my world has Philadelphia, also known as the City of Brotherly Love…” He looked around. “Where did Twilight and Dash go?”

“Ah think they went downstairs again,” said Apple Bloom.

“I didn’t think I was being that boring,” Joe shrugged. “Back to aeronautics?”

“Sure,” agreed Scootaloo, before the others could make Joe digress any more.

==

They had slipped away and the door had been securely shut and there had been several seconds of mutual silence. It did seem Joe was proud of humans and of being a human, and perhaps still believed more in the distinction between Man and Beast than he was claiming or admitting to himself. At the same time though he did seem to accept much of it was a matter of degree there and that intelligence of that degree was far from unique here.

“Well,” Twilight Sparkle finally said, “that would explain why he is so used to thinking only of humans as… er… partners.”

“Which doesn’t solve the problem,” frowned Rainbow Dash.

“At least he looked puzzled when you asked him what he saw looking in our eyes,” Twilight Sparkle pointed out, “as if he couldn’t understand why you’d doubt what he’d see.”

“No, I believe him,” sighed Rainbow Dash, “that he thinks we are people and so is everything else that can talk. It just seems that it will be harder to ease him into dating outside his species.”

“You did only kiss him today for the first time, so presenting yourself as a human would hardly be easing him.”

Rainbow Dash thought and then nodded. “I still want that magic, in case I need it, but not today.”

“It would take some research anyway,” Twilight Sparkle pointed out, “and we’d have to be sure if Joe would be able to ‘forget’ what you really look like.”

“I think he would,” mused Rainbow Dash before her eyes widened in horror and her wings beat to put her between her friend and the door. “But please don’t go and ask him!”

“I wasn’t going to!”

“So what would you need for the magic anyway?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I’d need Joe, I know what he looks like but I’d need to understand his body better.”

“No way to do it as a surprise?”

“No… though… maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“The way I am thinking to turn you into a human, or him into a Pony, I’d need both of you so I could use the other as a guide…”

“Following you so far.”

“If it was turning him into a Pony I feel he’d have to know what was going on, but if it was turning you into a human…”

“Get him there and then… wham! Suddenly he has me looking like he’d imagined?”

“And,” Twilight Sparkle said, having second thoughts, “suddenly he is having to deal with that with me there.”

Rainbow Dash reluctantly nodded. “I can see how that might go wrong.”

==

“Mah head hurts,” complained Apple Bloom.

“I think our next step would be building some models,” Joe said, trying to console her.

“Apple Bloom is good with tools,” smiled Sweetie Belle.

“Why did we have to do all this mathematics anyway?” Scootaloo asked.

“Maybe we didn’t have to,” winked Joe.

“Whaaaat?” Apple Bloom protested.

“Sketches to look right and making and scaling up models might have worked,” continued Joe, chuckling slightly, “but now we have the rules of thumb…”

“Joe,” Apple Bloom pointed out, “we ain’t got thumbs.”

“Just means rough measurements or guides,” smiled Joe, demonstrating along the edge of the table how he could use thumb lengths, “but now we have these ratios and rules worked out as a guide we have a better idea of what will work. Especially how a working model will need to be modified as well as enlarged for a full scale Microlight.”

“So, if it is that important,” Sweetie Belle asked, a pretty little frown appearing near her horn, “why did you say maybe we didn’t need to do it?”

“Because when humans started we hadn’t worked out the mathematics, it was a case of ‘Works as a model? Build it and try!’ But as fearless a reputation as that gave test pilots, and that they still have, I thought a little paperwork was better.”

“Ah’m not so sure,” Apple Bloom muttered.

“These days,” continued Joe, “everything is thoroughly calculated before anything flies so less has to be worked out in the air. But for most of the history of human flight the way to see how fast something could go before its wings fell off was to put it in a dive and hope the airframe gave a warning creak before that happened.” Joe winked and switched to a drawl. “Continuing dive, controls still good, confidence is high… speed increasing, controls beginning to lock…”

“Why…” Scootaloo said, “are you talking like that?”

“Oh… First human to fly faster than sound did it with broken ribs,” explained Joe, “little plane dropped from a bigger one before it started its engines. And that human’s reward was that he became famous enough that, despite how many accents and languages humans have, a lot of pilots started trying to talk like him.”

“Ah like that!” Apple Bloom said.

“Been even more popular to talk calm and slow if a famous actor had publicised that the break in his filmmaking was because he was busy flying planes in wartime and being very good at it…”

Joe winced and stopped as he realised what he was saying. Talking about breaking the sound barrier was fine, risking talking about strategic bomber offensives was not. As much as he thought the troops and guns, especially the heavy flak that could also be used for anti-tank, and resources used to counter those bombers were almost drain enough even without the actual damage caused by the bombs he still had a great deal of trouble with the damage being so indiscriminate. So he certainly didn’t want to think how the Ponies would react to cities being turned into firestorms.

“I think it is time for the Fillies to be getting home,” Twilight Sparkle said, startling Joe from his thoughts and making him wonder how much she had heard and how long he’d been silent and lost in them. She looked around. “Though I am surprised to not see Spike.”

“He arrived a while ago, but he was looking tired so I agreed he could have a nap,” replied Joe, standing and starting to shuffle papers together. “Once of course I had assured him that this didn’t affect him being your number one assistant.”

“Would you see the Fillies home please Rainbow?” Twilight Sparkle asked, turning to her friend.

“What?”

“No need,” Joe assured them, “I can see them home, two in town and then I can circle back to my hut after I’ve seen Apple Bloom to Sweet Apple Acres.”

“There is a need,” said Twilight Sparkle, firmly contradicting him, “as you and I need to talk Joe.”

“Er, okay,” Joe replied, looking as nervous as a baby bunny being herded by a sleep deprived Applejack.

Rainbow Dash also gave Twilight Sparkle an anxious look but the Fillies, especially Scootaloo, were too busy chattering at her about what Joe had said about human flight to notice. As the quartet left and Twilight Sparkle fixed her attention on Joe his concern increased. Whatever they had been talking about seemed to have worried Rainbow Dash, and that combined with the earlier noise of surprise did worry him.

“So…” Twilight Sparkle said, letting the word linger, “how do you propel those darts?”

“What?” blinked Joe. “Oh…er… that is related to one of the weapons I thought you had relinquished,” he continued, the words tumbling out of him with his relief that he wasn’t going to have to talk about his feelings. “Pinkie Pie’s Party Cannon looks a lot like human cannon from about two hundred years ago, though that was when that design was reaching the end of its use. The basic shape had been established by a hundred… two hundred?… years before…”

Twilight Sparkle had to suppress a grin as Joe began talking about muzzle loaders and gunpowder, then different propellants he wasn’t sure how to make and interrupted breeches for breach loaders, touching on hydraulic recoil absorbers and how they meant the gun didn’t jump backwards and have to be relaid. It was a dirty trick to play on him but Rainbow Dash had asked her to not talk about the other subject and it was not her fault that Joe seemed eager to keep the air filled with different words instead.

==

As they approached Sweet Apple Acres Rainbow Dash had to admit to herself that she was nervous what Twilight Sparkle might be talking to Joe about. She dearly loved her friend but sometimes she was rather more book smart than life smart. There had been all that trouble during one Hearts and Hooves day and Rainbow Dash did fear more of the same innocent misunderstandings. Apple Bloom galloped a little ahead and greeted her sister as she saw her.

“Rainbow?” Applejack said, sounding a little surprised. “What brings you here escorting mah sister?”

“She and the other Cutie Mark Crusaders were at the library and Twi asked me to see them home.”

“Twilight wanted to talk to Joe,” Apple Bloom added.

“Oh, ah wonder what about,” mused Applejack. “Maybe th’ Olympic Games?”

“Where did you hear that term?” Rainbow Dash asked, eyes fixing on the orange Earth Pony.

“Ah heard it from Joe, he mentioned it was similar to th’ Equestria Games when ah said why ah needed him to look after Winona,” said Applejack calmly, “but he didn’t go into detail.” Rainbow Dash nodded to this. “As you are here would you like to come in for some apple pie? Freshly made today.”

“I…” Rainbow Dash began, then she considered if she wanted to get back to the Golden Oaks Library too soon and risk interrupting. She managed a more normal tone. “Hah, have you ever known me turn down that pie?”

“Nope, but always a first time.

==

Although Joe had collected together the notes on flight and flying machines the table was once more covered in paper. Joe had worked his way through what he knew of cannon and artillery until he linked those that looked like Pinkie Pie’s to those that would fire the darts. He’d digressed onto the word sabotage coming from workers throwing wooden shoes, sabots, into machinery as he spoke of how sabot was also the term for what the darts were fitted inside. The idea that you had that ‘shoe’ fall away once the projectile left the gun muzzle so the dart had less drag and would apply its impact to a smaller area made a strange amount of sense to Twilight Sparkle. She could also see why Joe thought cylinders and cannon were similar as her knowledge of steam engines was helping her follow what he was saying. He had said something strange before though.

“You mentioned helicopters being tank killers,” Twilight Sparkle said, “but you’ve been talking about the recoil on these ‘guns’.”

“Right,” nodded Joe, “different method. They carry missiles… that is to say guided rockets…”

“Guided?”

“Can be steered at a distance or can steer themselves rather than being simply ballistic.”

Twilight Sparkle gave Joe a look. She was not going to dispute this, and risk breaking his flow of words, but she was not going to fully accept it either as this seemed so unlikely. Then again so did a lot of what he was saying. “Go on.”

“I am not exactly sure how shaped charge warheads work,” Joe continued, ignoring the look he’d been given, “but I think it was accidental they were discovered, some explosives were being used for demolition work and they found the letters on the embossed metal backing were being blasted into what they were trying to cut.”

“Right,” said Twilight Sparkle sceptically.

“So what you do is have a explosives with a concave section at the front,” Joe said, sketching, “I think it’s a copper liner, and when the explosive goes off the force of it melts the liner and is concentrated on a single point, like light being reflected by the… er… reflector of a lamp. But that doesn’t work well if the projectile is spinning, that makes the molten metal swirl rather than all hit the same point, so rifling is not good for that either.”

Twilight Sparkle nodded. Joe had mentioned the idea of a Spiral groove along the gun bore so the projectile was stabilised by the spin that caused and had also mentioned the darts were fin stabilised instead. He’d admitted he wasn’t sure why the fins couldn’t be offset to let the dart spin as he knew at least some ‘iron bombs’ had offset fins to let them be spin stabilised as they fell, and then had needed to be asked a question quickly as he almost realised just how much he was saying.

“So as two sorts of anti-armour round that a rifled barrel is not good for,” Joe continued, “Tanks are reverting to smoothbore cannon…”

==

Apple Bloom had gone upstairs to put her notes away and start on her homework, Big Macintosh was somewhere doing chores, and Granny Smith was making a nose similar to the creaking of her rocking chair as she snored in a nap. So that left time for pie and uninterrupted conversation. Especially pie.

“Hwhoo-whee!” Applejack said. “Sounds like an awful lot of sports at those Olympics, and that Joe said an awful lot to you.”

“He didn’t say that his country had only hosted them last year,” grumbled Rainbow Dash.

“But that was about all that he said to me,” Applejack pointed out.

“True.”

“So tell me more about what he said about how to stop you cheating…”

“I was not cheating when I used my wings!”

“Oh, ah suppose not. But ah do think they were too big an advantage in some events.”

“Puh,” Rainbow Dash snorted, “and an event with lassoing wasn’t tailored for you? Or kicking a target when, as you said, years of applebucking?”

“Ah’ll concede that, but what about the push-ups? Th’ first event you ‘cheated’ in?”

“Where I’d been having to lift my wings and flight muscles each time I pushed up?”

“Fine, ah’ll concede that as well. But th’ long jump?”

“I’ll concede that,” Rainbow Dash said, blushing slightly, “and that was an event Joe mentioned…”

==

To Twilight Sparkle’s relief it seemed Joe had gone straight from talking desperately about anything but what he might have been intuitive enough to suspect had been discussed downstairs to having got enthusiastic about what he was saying. Seeing him talk freely was interesting and although he was edging towards lecturing he did seem to be trying to talk to rather than at her. So she could understand why Rainbow Dash, if he’d been as pleasant with her, had enjoyed the conversation. Though still perhaps not why she’d enjoyed it enough to kiss him.

“Tanks sound rather cumbersome.”

“That can be their image,” Joe smiled.

“Image?”

“The idea people can have of them is rather like Dash’s tortoise Tank, armoured but slow.”

“Are you going to tell me,” said Twilight Sparkle in disbelief, “that something like you have described is fast?”

“Oh, when they were invented they were barely able to go faster than a slow human walking pace,” Joe admitted, “and they did stay slow for a while, or some of them did…”

“Some?”

“In my country there was a split between ones designed to be fairly slow but better armoured and those with less armour but more speed, depending on whether they were intended to operate alongside men on foot, infantry tanks, or independently, cruiser tanks,” Joe explained. “But as engines got more powerful and the suspension able to withstand harder bumps, from more speed or more weight of armour, the two types converged.”

“So they are faster then humans can walk now?”

“Not only that,” Joe chuckled, “they are faster than humans can run and… you know how a runaway wagon acts when it goes over a bump? Front wheels come up or even off the ground?”

“Yes?” asked Twilight Sparkle, her eyes narrowing as she suspected what Joe was about to claim.

“I’ve seen footage of modern tanks at full speed, and when they go over a ridge they go up onto the rear of their tracks. Not only are they about the weight of the steam locomotives on the local line they are about as fast, and when going cross-country rather than on rails.”

“What?” said Twilight Sparkle, her determination to just let Joe talk fraying at this claim.

“I could be wrong,” Joe shrugged, not taking offence at the disbelief. If a lot of humans wouldn’t believe it then why should a Pony who’d never seen one. “I’ve not ridden that train so I’m only guessing how fast it is and how heavy the locomotive is.”

“But you think your guess is a good one.”

“Weight wise certainly,” Joe said, not mentioning this was partially because you seemed to need a similar lorry to take a preserved steam locomotive of about that size from one heritage line to another or to act as a tank transporter to take those longer distances. “And they are definitely fast enough that if they had room to manoeuvre, and until she got her eye in, Dash would have problems trying to drop darts on them.”

“Ah, so that’s one of those you didn’t mention,” smiled Twilight Sparkle, trying to not argue.

“Put it this way, ocean going ships are absolutely immense by comparison and the ones I am thinking of were also not quite as fast,” Joe nodded, “but they still managed to weave enough to throw off the aim of aeroplanes trying to drop things on them in a dive.”

Twilight Sparkle doubted that anything Joe described as being ‘absolutely immense’ was of a believable size. Even if water creatures and, she supposed, water going craft could be bigger as the water supported them there were limits to her credulity. Therefore it seemed better to avoid the subject for now and try to continue discussing the barely more plausible ‘Tanks’.

“You shall have to tell me about those another time, but how do Tanks move cross country? I remember a pair of brothers called Flim and Flam and how the wheels of their steam powered cider maker dug into the road surface.”

“Tanks have a lot of wheels and, more importantly, wrapped around them are what we call caterpillar tracks, a band of connected links…”

“Oh! You said tracks, and we have those!” Twilight Sparkle interrupted, happy to find a similarity. “On our cranes and demolition equipment.”

“So do we, and I think they are called caterpillar tracks because caterpillar was the name of the bulldozer or tractor company that invented them.”

“You mean,” Twilight Sparkle said, unable to resist teasing Joe, “humans invented something and then only later turned it to warfare?”

“We’re not that bad,” grumbled Joe, worried that Twilight Sparkle could justifiably say ‘yes you are’.

“Sorry… Tanks?”

“Our Tanks have kettles built into them…” Joe began, trying to argue that things made of incredibly hard metal had a softer side.

==

Bidding Applejack and the freshly awake Granny Smith goodnight Rainbow Dash streaked up into the sky and away from Sweet Apple Acres. She’d not wanted to get back too soon but too late was almost as bad. Hopefully Twilight and Joe had finished talking but in case they hadn’t she decided to aim for the balcony of the Golden Oaks Library and the doors leading from that rather than the door at ground level. She hesitated and hovered for a moment as she approached but with some misgivings she landed and entered. There were still voices so she crept across to peer down and saw Twilight and Joe were still talking.

“And so,” Joe said, sounding weary, “every Tank built for our army for the last sixty or seventy years has included the means to make Tea. Which some think just as important an addition as gyroscopic stabilisation to keep the gun barrel level over the bumps.”

“Or as much as that can keep it level if you aren’t exaggerating about them rearing up with their speed,” replied Twilight Sparkle, “though it does sound as if Tea is important to your country.”

“Er, yes,” Joe admitted, “as embarrassing as it is to say we did have a couple of wars a hundred and fifty, hundred and thirty, years ago whose motive was they wouldn’t sell us tea.”

“What? I know I keep saying that but, what?”

“I am talking about vast quantities,” Joe said a little defensively, “dozens or hundreds of ship loads a year, and we did want to trade for it, and some of the people there did want our goods…” He closed his eyes and decided to not admit the ‘goods’ that were most wanted was Opium. “But their Emperor decreed they didn’t want to trade for anything we had…” Which Joe admitted to himself was fair as so much was Opium. “So, er, yes.”

“Not one of the stories you’d tell with ‘enthusiasm and pride’?”

“Definitely not, and even if it was I think I have said more than enough.”

“I do have some questions still.”

“Of course you do,” Joe sighed, “and while I was talking I enjoyed the conversation. Now I just hope that answering as much as I have, in private, does not cause your mentor to think I am being as chaotic as Discord expected of me.”

“I’ll be careful in my letter.”

“Thank you.”

With that Joe got his bag and left with somewhat undiplomatic speed. Twilight Sparkle pondered for a moment and then began gathering the papers from the table. She’d got a lot from him and she doubted that there was much else he could say or that he would say much of it if there was. But, as Fluttershy had said, he might be happier for having said all this rather than keeping secrets and holding it in to try to avoid trouble.

“So… you didn’t…”

“Yeek!” Twilight Sparkle said, whirling, the papers scattering as her magic released them and her horn glowed brighter with defensive magic instead.

“Oops,” said Rainbow Dash. “Sorry Twi.”

“Rainbow,” Twilight Sparkle hissed. “I suppose you think that was funny.”

“No… well maybe…” admitted Rainbow Dash. “But I hadn’t meant to startle you.”

Twilight Sparkle looked at her and then nodded as her horn faded and she returned to gathering the papers. “If you have been listening then you heard me say I would be careful in my letter to the Princess,” she said, “and I also have to be careful with these.”

“What are they?” Rainbow Dash asked, flapping over and hovering. Then landing and looking apologetic as Twilight Sparkle glared at how this caused the papers to start blowing off the table.

“Diagrams and notes on how darts like the one you mentioned are fired at supersonic speed, amongst other things.”

“So, as I was going to say, you didn’t talk about people changing shape?”

“You asked me to not ask him if he’d like you in human form,” Twilight Sparkle smiled, “and I’d not ignore that.”

“Well… no…” blushed Rainbow Dash.

“But I do think Joe thought he was going to be asked about you, that he’d wondered if that what we were talking about privately was what you and he had done,” Twilight Sparkle went on with a wink. “And he was so relieved to be asked about something different he talked.”

“And talked, and talked…” commented Rainbow Dash, looking at the amount of paper Twilight Sparkle was putting away. “I can see why he said he used to be more of an egghead back home.”

“Did he say that, or did he just say he was well read?”

“He admitted it, though he said he wasn’t a genius like you.”

“I…” Twilight Sparkle blushed.

“Just the truth,” shrugged Rainbow Dash. “We all know it.”

Twilight Sparkle’s blush redoubled and it took most of the time she and Rainbow Dash spent on putting away the notes and sketches for this to fade. Once she had exchanged a few more words with her friend and the Pegasus had streaked away into what was becoming more moonlight than sun Twilight Sparkle checked on Spike. He was still sleeping peacefully and it was close to when Owlowiscious’ would take over anyway so she let him be and went to her desk to write the letter herself.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned that people can have hidden depths and that although they might be reluctant to show them that they can overcome that reluctance to help others. For a long time Joe has been living quietly but yesterday and today he was asked about human flying machines by the Cutie Mark Crusaders…

==

The Alicorn and Goddess of the Sun shook her head. “…Admitted ignorance where not sure of things. Patient. Helped them,” she summarised aloud, “Going to help them with models. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.”

“Thee sound most displeased,” Princess Luna commented.

“I am hardly pleased, no,” admitted Princess Celestia, floating the letter to her sister. “I had told him to be careful what he said, as you know.”

“I grant thee that,” Princess Luna said, starting to read the letter for herself. After several seconds she looked up from it. “Though will thee grant Joe that he spoke of such because thy subjects have Skydiving and the pet of the Element of Loyalty what he refers to as a ‘helicopter rig’?”

“I will grant him that, though why do you defend him?”

“Not for his sake, but thou art precious to me and thy conscience bleeds with each decision thee consider wrong. So if my words can avoid thee making a mistake, or by countering what I say help thee realise thy decision is sound, then is my duty and my love to offer them.”

“I missed you so much little sister,” Princess Celestia admitted, for perhaps the thousandth or ten-thousandth time, “and in this case I shall agree that Joe has his reasons to think he can say things. That he is showing some care.”

“Then what signifies thy disgusted tone?”

“It is easy to say something and accidentally imply more. Or say something and mention something else as an aside.”

“Thee worry that Joe will take care in his chosen words, but that not all his words will be chosen?”

“Things are connected, one subject to another, and you recall Joe was puzzled we had things without also having the related weapons.”

“And that this was part of thy concern, that he saw or knew of how means of destruction were linked to those of peace.”

“I am glad that Joe is making friends,” Princess Celestia said, extending the love she had for all her little ponies to this strange immigrant, “but the less isolated he becomes and the more relaxed he is in their company the more he might let slip.”

Comments

[Fancies himself a lurker]

Not likin princess Celestia's little slip that freedom of speech is not part of her Diarchy.

[Godiswithus3]

Princess Celestia is really becoming unappealing.

[Amethyst Blade]

Celestia is making me wanting to kill her.

[Seeking Dusk]

Not to beat a dead horse but... seriously Celestia... It's like you're afraid of your nation changing at all. Not just for the worse, but change, full stop...

[Theresa]

6511905
I agree. And maybe having the ability to kick any butt into the next world will discourage anyone from starting trouble like the wedding incident. She might not have realized what it looked like from those who didn't know it was planned point of view and how frightening it might have been for them. And does she want him to be friendless considering the pony who forced her student to make friends want to stop friendship.