Joe

by JMDARE

Chapter 22

“Joe, what in tarnation are you doing here?”

“I…” Joe began, turning to face Granny Smith, “I come here to do chores every second or third day, and this is the third day of that routine.”

As the Old Mare continued to glare at him Joe continued to wonder what the problem was. He didn’t think he’d looked that surprised when he noticed the pigs and he’d accepted Big Macintosh’s explanation they cleared up the windfall apples. It had been a puzzle though as he didn’t think there was much you could get from a pig that didn’t require killing it. Fortunately Big Macintosh either hadn’t noticed his expression or had decided to not ask about it and the rest of the chores had been going quite smoothly, until now.

“So it is,” replied Granny Smith, “but it’s also at least a couple of minutes past noon.”

“Yes?” Joe said, feeling and looking baffled.

“So… you’ve done a morning of chores, now git!” Seeing Joe was just blinking at her Granny Smith unbent enough, with a creak, to explain. “Ah’m not going to let mah youngest Grandchild be upset, so shoo and get on with helping her. Mah Eldest can finish up.”

“Eee’yup,” Big Macintosh wisely agreed.

Joe smiled and shrugged to the large red stallion. “Then I shall be away, to do thy bidding,” he said, giving Granny Smith a slight bow of obedience.

“No fancy talk, just git!”

==

Rainbow Dash circled a few times and settled on a cloud to look down. She hated feeling nervous but she also knew she could overcome those nerves with action so, disdaining further hesitation, she rolled and dove off the side of the cloud to streak down. Her wings flexed and she redirected the speed of her dive into a tight arc towards her target, streaking towards it a Ponylength or less above the ground, and then she flapped hard and slowed almost to a stop. Extending a forehoof she tapped on the front door of Joe’s hut, that meagre impact being enough to stop her completely. She landed and waited at least two seconds and then tapped again, harder. Then she considered taking off again and this time not braking at the last moment, or fetching her other darts to ‘tap’ really hard.

“Great,” Rainbow Dash sighed. “I get here and he isn’t. Probably in the hills or the Everfree or…”

With that thought the Blue Pegasus streaked back upwards, the speed of her passage dislodging a tile from the roof of Joe’s porch that he’d been intending to fix for a while. It was only a short flight, for her, so soon she was curving down and towards her next target. It was not the one she’d hoped to surprise but it might be a source of information. Her hooves thumped into the ground next to that Mare as she landed.

“Oh, hi Rainbow,” Applejack said calmly as her friend arrived with the speed of a stooping Eagle.

“Applejack, have you seen Joe today?”

“Ah have, was one of his mornings for chores here.”

“But it’s the afternoon, and he wasn’t at his hut.”

“Hmm,” Applejack mused, unable to resist teasing her friend a little by drawing that out. “Well, he left here a little earlier than he might…”

“Why?”

“Ah was getting to that Rainbow,” Applejack said, pausing a little and enjoying the impatience. “Granny Smith made Big Macintosh do the rest of Joe’s chores so he could go work on a model, so if he’s not at his hut he might be at the Cutie Mark Crusader Clubhouse.”

“Thanks!” replied Rainbow Dash, taking off. Then she stopped and frowned and hovered. “Model?”

“Apple Bloom asked if he could get a model of one of those human flying thingamajigs made,” Applejack nodded, “help with some of the fillies at school who’d been laughing at the idea.” She looked around and then gestured Rainbow Dash closer.

“What?” asked Rainbow Dash, dipping her head but not landing again.

“Ah you sure you want to do this?” Applejack asked quietly. “Sounds like you made th’ first move last time ‘n’ all, so…”

“So nothing,” hissed Rainbow Dash. “I’m not going to sit and wait, I’m going to give him the chance to ‘make a move’ and if he doesn’t then I’ll decide whether to give him much choice.”

“Hwhooo-wheeee!” Applejack exclaimed as Rainbow Dash streaked skywards again. She wasn’t sure whether to feel sorry for Joe or not, she just hoped that he really did like Rainbow Dash rather than this being as one-sided as it was seeming. That it was just that she was only seeing Rainbow Dash’s side.

==

The classroom was quiet but Cheerilee was worried. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had tried to begin their usual nonsense at morning break but the Cutie Mark Crusaders had taken that far too calmly. Somehow she could not believe her warnings had taken effect today when they had never before. More worrying still the Cutie Mark Crusaders had begun their drawing at lunchtime just as they had yesterday, but this time they had treated Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon with such disdain the pair had retreated.

Cheerilee did not think she was being unfair to be concerned. They seemed to be plotting something and drawing enough satisfaction from that plot to ignore the mockery, and those three fillies, especially when provoked by the other two, had a record of coming up with schemes that affected everyone else as well as themselves. Not to the extent that Snips and Snails had when they were idiotic enough to bring an Ursa Minor to town, which had caused problems then and when Trixie returned for revenge after being humiliated in her failure to deal with it, but enough for worry as it could be something big.

==

Surrounded by bits of cloth with tools and model parts laid out on them Joe carefully scraped at a curve of wood. Then there was a flapping and a swirl of air that made him glad that he’d put stones on top of the various pieces of paper around him. He looked up from his work and smiled and put it to one side as he stood.

“Hi Joe…” Rainbow Dash began to say, but that dissolved into an ‘erk’ as he took a couple of steps forward and hugged her as she hovered. She managed to, barely, resist the temptation to nuzzle his neck but did fold her wings to settle against him and let him support her instead. To her disappointment he released her without kissing her before he gently lowered her to the ground onto her rear hooves.

“It is very good to see you Dash,” nodded Joe as he stepped back away and sat again.

Stalling for time while she decided if that had been ‘just’ a friendly hug Rainbow Dash started to look at the drawings. They all seemed to be of the same thing but with some showing more detail of different parts and some being more artistic and others more technical. There was also quite a variation in the skill and style of the drawings and, finding something to say, Rainbow Dash looked to Joe.

“Bit of a difference in these,” Rainbow Dash commented, gesturing with a forehoof.

“Hmm? Oh yes,” agreed Joe. “Some by me, some by the Cutie Mark Crusaders.”

“Aren’t they still in school?”

“Apple Bloom said they’d left their sketches here, and they wouldn’t mind me looking at them.”

“Which explains why you are here,” Rainbow Dash nodded, moving closer to Joe, “but not why you are out here.”

“I’m not claustrophobic,” smiled Joe, clearing a space in case Rainbow Dash wanted to sit, “and inside I’d not need the cloths and paperweights, but inside is filly sized. Which I’m not.”

“No, you aren’t,” Rainbow Dash agreed, happily taking advantage of the space.

Joe leaned slightly to pick up his piece of wood and small knife again, but paused as a thought occurred. “As glad as I am that you are here, I could ask why you are here?”

“I… I saw you while I was flying along and was curious what you were doing.”

“Fair enough,” Joe admitted, leaving the wood and knife where they were so he could point easier. “You know the Cutie Mark Crusaders have problems with a pair of… well, I won’t say what… with two fillies called Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?”

“Not exactly discreet problems.”

Joe nodded. “Well Apple Bloom asked me if I could make a model to help with their latest problems,” he continued, “so what I have done is look at their sketches and reconsider my own and make some new ones, and what I am doing at the moment is working on the main wing.”

“Doesn’t look much like a wing,” Rainbow Dash commented.

“Has the same cross-section as yours and some of your feathers, and when these ribs are connected and covered…”

“Covered by what? Feathers?”

“Maybe by skin!” Joe teased, trying to look psychotic and running a finger across Rainbow Dash’s own ribs. “Aha! Raw materials have arrived!”

“Eek,” said Rainbow Dash as that tickled. “Funny.”

“Sorry.”

“I didn’t say I minded.”

“No, but anyway. If we had the right sort then I’d say metal, and be making more of the model out of that. As it is I’m using wood for the frame and only metal-skinning the fuselage pod. Wing and tail would be covered with fabric.”

“Like a balloon?”

“More like a drum,” Joe replied, trying to remember if he’d seen any here and succeeding in remembering drum skins were or used to be actual skins where he came from. “And like a drum the fabric is stretched on and attached and then contracts to become even tauter. The method I recall is making the cloth damp with some fairly volatile ‘dope’ and then letting it dry and shrink again.”

“Sounds smelly.”

“Could be flammable as well.”

“Sheesh, I am glad I have feathers.”

“They do suit you better than they would me.”

“Er… yeah. I don’t think you’d look good with feathers at all.”

“Wings like yours are what divine but otherwise human looking creatures are pictured with…” Joe stopped and chuckled.

“That does sound funny looking, but what now?”

“I’ve mentioned humans with powers who act as heroes…” Joe began to explain, then he blinked as he wondered if the wings were the only similarity with Rainbow Dash. Like the heroine he was thinking of she wasn’t that tall but she was fast and feisty and brave and deadly.

“Right,” prompted Rainbow Dash.

“Well, there was one who had wings and she and another heroine were invading an infernal realm,” Joe said, “but when one of the denizens there grabbed her it suddenly released her and shrank back away along with others of its kind. The heroine realised what they were thinking, so she bluffed they were right, she was one of the divine beings, and that they might want to mess with her but they didn’t want to mess with her boss. They fled.”

Rainbow Dash giggled. “Her boss?”

“The God above all Gods, or she might merely have meant the General of that God’s Armies who is powerful enough that in most other human religions he’d be considered a God in his own right.”

“Yeah,” laughed Rainbow Dash, sagging down with her laughter to rest her chin on Joe’s knee, “that would do it.”

“And feathers work out better for you or for human like things in fantasy or mythology than they do in reality.”

“Humans did try using feathers?”

“They took a mythological story too seriously… though does it get colder the higher you get here?”

“Of course it does,” frowned Rainbow Dash.

“Well either the writer of the myth or the people taking it literally…” Joe stopped and pinched the brow of his nose. “Gah, I was about to say they had been stupid as they could have just looked at a snow peaked mountain to know it got colder with altitude, but then so could I rather than asking you.”

“They thought it got hotter instead?”

“They seemed to have a very poor idea of the distance to the sun and thought you could fly high enough to get closer enough to make a difference.”

“Idiots,” Rainbow Dash scoffed, noticing with pleasure and displeasure that Joe hadn’t done anything about where her chin was, either to object or to start the ear scritches. She had warned him she didn’t want ear scritching but that was before she’d kissed him.

“I think it was metaphorical, and the writer might have made the deliberate mistake to show that. The story was of an inventor and his son escaping captivity, a king wanted to keep the inventor and his inventions, and the son ignoring his father’s instructions to not fly too high. So the wax holding the feathers together melted and he fell into the sea.”

“Weird,” Rainbow Dash said, wondering if she should flutter her eyelashes and hope Joe remembered, jocularly, warning her to be careful in case those seduced him into ear scritching. And hope he realised the message. “What was the metaphor?”

“Pay attention to instructions from the person who invented what you are using?” shrugged Joe. “Pay attention to your father? Story might be the origin of the saying that ‘The higher you fly the faster you fall’, though that isn’t true as eventually drag balances gravity and you reach terminal velocity.”

“And not true if you are an awesome Pegasus, though when flew my fastest I did need a lot of height for my dive.”

“You are awesome,” Joe agreed, too aware of that to forget what his hand was doing and managing to control it. “Was that when you blew all the roofs off?”

“How do you know about that?”

“Whatever you were talking about with Twilight the day before yesterday she shrieked at you loud enough for us to hear upstairs,” Joe explained, “and the Cutie Mark Crusaders mentioned the time you took a potion to further enhance your already remarkable abilities.”

“Oh,” said Rainbow Dash, realising that was probably the shriek Twilight Sparkle had given when she’d said she’d kissed Joe.

“They wondered if a version was one of the potions I’ve been given…”

“I doubt it, unless something has worn off like it did with me?”

“I don’t think so,” Joe admitted, “but I do wonder if that potion would help the Cutie Mark Crusaders.”

“How?” asked Rainbow Dash, shifting position a little closer to Joe.

“If it enhances a Pony’s special talent then it would enhance theirs,” Joe explained, moving to make Rainbow Dash more comfortable, “and they’d know what it is from what’s been enhanced.”

“Hmm… I don’t know, it might need them to already know.”

“True,” Joe nodded. “If there’s enough magic involved you get a Cutie Mark either side of your rear then there might be some less visible changes.”

==

Applejack made her way through the streets of Ponyville and to a part of town she rarely had cause to visit. She wasn’t sure if she had real cause to visit it today either but it seemed fair to some people to pass on some news and she owed someone else a bit of teasing after yesterday. Keeping her smile no more than usual, and no less as looking dour would be just as betraying as grinning, Applejack entered the building with models of Ponies decorating it.

“Applejack!” Rarity exclaimed, Opalescence looking up for at least half a second in greeting before returning to sleeping. “Darling, have you finally decided to let me dress you in style?”

“Ah like my style as it is,” replied Applejack, “hat to keep the sun off is all ah need.”

“And I must admit that hat suits you,” Rarity said diplomatically, “though perhaps a few others in different colours or with more decoration?”

“Ah came to say that ah had a visit at Sweet Apple Acres earlier, from Rainbow and she was looking for Joe.”

“Oh, well I haven’t seen him yet today, though I am sure I will…”

Applejack nodded. “He said he’d let you know about th’ event. But ah had seen him and ah directed Rainbow his way.”

“Oh dear,” Rarity said, looking concerned. “Rainbow can be very determined, what if she asks him to the event.”

“Ain’t nothing wrong with it if she does!” replied Applejack, making herself frown.

“I… well, isn’t usual,” Rarity admitted, “but I agree it would be better for her to ask than for him not to.”

“And ah was telling you this so you can ask Spike.”

“There is that as well,” Rarity smiled. “Poor Spike.”

“Why? Seems he’ll be right happy to be asked.”

“So I should have asked him before, but I was thinking how it does feel like I should be asking him. And you’d ask a child if they’d like to go somewhere, but expect a stallion, or adult male, to ask you.”

“Eee’yup. They do like ta think things are their idea,” Applejack nodded, “even if th’ whole situation has been set up ta guide them towards asking.”

“So you do understand why I’m worried about Rainbow asking Joe and not letting him think that?”

“Ah didn’t say ah didn’t understand, just that would be nothing wrong with it.” Applejack paused and then grinned. “And ah was teasing you, she said she was going ta find him ta give him th’ chance to ask.”

Rarity closed her eyes and nodded. “Ah, ‘the whole situation set up to guide him’…”

“Though she also did say she might decide to not give him much choice.”

“Oh my.”

==

Beneath the Cutie Mark Crusaders Clubhouse all was calm and contented and Joe had gladly summarised for Rainbow Dash what he had said to the Cutie Mark Crusaders about aerodynamics and explained how the different things on the sketches were supposed to work. Talking about how much simpler the model would be than a full size Microlight and how much simpler that would be than other aeroplanes had led onto talk about the ways in which those would be more complex. On a whim Joe met Rainbow Dash’s eyes.

“Wing please,” Joe said.

“Pardon,” blinked Rainbow Dash.

“I don’t know that much about bird wings, and less about Pegasi, but can I have one of your wings please.”

“I don’t think you are that divine,” winked Rainbow Dash, “but you can have a look.”

Reluctantly she pulled away from him to give herself room to extend a wing into his lap. To her pleasure Joe didn’t just look, he took it in his hands and began stroking and examining it. She enjoyed that for a while and enjoyed that he seemed to be enjoying it for a while before he spoke.

“One thing that has gone out of fashion,” Joe started to say, tracing a fingertip back and forth between the joints of her wing, “is what was known as variable-geometry, or swing-wing, designs. There was only the one pivot point…” He added, gently manipulating her wing to bend it. “And that was only back and forth, but it did allow the wing to be straight out for slow speeds and swept back for faster ones.”

“Mmm-hmmm,” agreed Rainbow Dash.

“Far more primitive than your wing,” Joe agreed, “with how many shapes it can assume…”

“Mmmmm-hmmm,” agreed Rainbow Dash again as Joe continued to move her wing about and she enjoyed the massage.

“I think it went out of fashion because of a different lesson that can be learned from your wing,” Joe continued, stroking a hand along the leading edge of it, “I don’t remember what they are called but… ah, here we are.”

“What?” asked Rainbow Dash, trying to show an interest in what he was saying as well as what he was doing.

“You have some feathers along here that you can raise and lower,” Joe replied, “and that affects how the air flows over your entire wing.” He stroked his hand along and across these again, getting a twitch from Rainbow Dash. “As well as having the ailerons at the rear of the wing you can have sections of wing extending forward…” He laid his hand on her wing and demonstrated each motion. “Or forward and down to extend the curve at the front, or just pivoting up, or coming up on fins to form a narrow gap between them and the wing.”

That last motion was disappointing to Rainbow Dash as it meant Joe lifted his hand rather than moving it about on her wing. “So,” she managed to ask, “why did those make the other go out of fashion?”

“One of the problems with a wing designed for high speeds was that it didn’t work well at low speeds, so the plane needed to be going faster to get into the air or conversely before it would come down again.”

“So they swung the wing between being fast and slow,” Rainbow Dash almost purred as she felt Joe’s hands moving to manipulate her wing that way.

“Right,” said Joe, surprised that Rainbow Dash had anticipated what he was going to say. He was glad she seemed so happy though as he’d begun to feel like a dirty coach taking the chance to put hands on a nubile student. “But you can use the other method to keep lift at lower speeds and use it to keep air flowing over the wing even if they are meeting at a strange angle.”

“Mmmmm-hmmm, makes sense then.”

With that Rainbow Dash retracted her wing and shifted position again. Rather than return to where she had been she moved in a lot closer and then extended her wing again behind his back, as she had when they were hugging side by side. Joe waved his arm indecisively as he tried to figure out where to put it and Rainbow Dash looked up from where she’d put her chin on his thigh.

“You’ve got some work to do, so get working.”

Joe nodded and, rather belatedly, reached again for the rib and knife. He wasn’t sure he wanted to have both hands free but it was kind of Rainbow Dash to allow him that freedom.

==

“Spiiiikeee! Twiiiilight!” Rarity called as she entered the Golden Oaks Library.

“Hello Rarity,” replied Twilight Sparkle, as expected looking up from a book.

There was a faint sound of claws on floorboards and Spike trotted in from where he’d been dusting. “Rarity,” he smiled.

“Hwhooo,” Owlowiscious commented from his perch, rolling his eyes at this enthusiasm.

“Rarity, that’s who,” said Spike, never tiring of that joke.

Owlowiscious blinked at Spike and decided to not dignify that with a response. He rotated his head slightly away from the small Dragon and closed his eyes to ignore him and return to rest and dreams of mice squirming beneath his talons and the shrill cries of terror that made them so tasty. Not knowing his thoughts the Ponies thought he looked quite sweet as he went back to sleep.

“I am sorry Spike,” continued Rarity, moving across the library to join him with a slight apologetic smile and lowering her voice in deference to Owlowiscious’ efforts. “I should have thought to ask you before, especially after you were not asked to help with the greeting in the Crystal Empire, but would you like to go to the event in Canterlot?”

“Anywhere with you,” Spike reassured her, knowing who he blamed for the lack of an invitation to the Crystal Empire and just glad that things had worked out even if Shining Armour had again, as with the wedding, prevented him from helping Twilight Sparkle.

“No,” said Rarity, giving Spike a serious look, “that is the point. I know that you are willing to do much for me, even be silly and go to visit the Diamond Dogs, but I’d like what you do to be something you’d enjoy even if I wasn’t asking or I wasn’t there. So do you want to go?

“I’m not sure,” Spike admitted, frowning a little as he took a moment to consider it. “I mean, I do like art and I do like music…” He gave his ‘big sister’ a smile. “Twilight has taught me a lot about them, but I am not sure about an entire evening of them.”

“I didn’t think you would be,” nodded Rarity before apologising again, “but I should have asked you rather than simply assuming, I asked rather than assume with our other friends…” She sighed. “I certainly should have asked you before Joe.”

“You asked Joe?” Spike blinked.

“And he told me I should be asking you,” smiled Rarity, fluttering her eyelashes as she added, “though he didn’t say to me that I am your porridge.”

“What? Oh… er.”

“Rarity!” Twilight Sparkle protested. “I am embarrassed enough about eavesdropping and that I mentioned that when we were talking about the… er… problem yesterday.”

“Sorry, darling. It is just so delicious a metaphor.”

“Like gemstone porridge,” Spike added.

“Now,” continued Rarity, “another reason for Joe delaying his answer was that there was a Mare he should ask instead.”

Spike had to look at Rarity for a moment to be sure she wasn’t joking. “Who?”

“I’ll let that be a surprise,” winked Rarity, “but I have heard that she was looking for him today so he’d have the chance to ask her. Which I think he will…”

“Maybe. Almost definitely,” Twilight Sparkle conceded. “But Rai… ra… Rarity, you know that mare wasn’t keen on the event.”

“And you both know who it is,” mused Spike, not sure if the stutter was significant, “and it must be one of our friends…”

“Joe is a friend now,” Rarity pointed out, “so I might just be extending Fancy Pants’ invitation from ‘friends of mine’ to ‘friends of mine plus their date’.”

“Right,” nodded Spike, unconvinced.

“But I am telling you, and sorry again as I should have asked for your sake rather than this,” Rarity continued, “because although she seems determined Joe seems unsure about things.”

“Unsure?”

“He’s not sure if she wants friendship or romance, and he has the problem Twilight also heard him mention.”

“Which doesn’t mean she needed to mention it to everypony else,” Spike replied, looking at his ‘big sister’, “some things are said in confidence and should be kept as such, even if you accidentally hear them.”

“I know,” admitted Twilight Sparkle, wondering if this was one of the universal male-things, to keep more to themselves, “but she, the Mare, seemed so downhearted I wanted to reassure her and the others it wasn’t her in particular.”

“Aha!” Spike declared. “It is one of our friends.”

“Er.”

“You can guess if you like, Spike,” smiled Rarity, “but the important thing is that if Joe went with just me and her he’d feel uncomfortable. Having you there would make things easier, I think.”

“So you are asking me for his sake?” Spike asked, looking back to Rarity.

“And for hers, I don’t want things spoilt by Joe being too nervous,” said Rarity. “To make it clear though, I should have asked you before but I am asking you now and saying that if you want to go then we shall, whether Joe and his friend do or not. If you don’t want to go then Joe will just have to feel awkward as I’d rather he suffer that than you do something you won’t enjoy.”

Spike nodded. “I’ll go,” he said. “I do like music and art, I would like to share those with you, and I do like Joe so this sounds like fun.”

“Thank you Spike.”

==

Joe had continued to work and despite the growing ache in his hip had continued to remain still as Rainbow Dash had continued to snore. When Joe realised she’d fallen asleep he’d been quite touched and it had been cute when she started snoring, until she really got into her rhythm and it went from little contented noises to something reminiscent of the contented noises the pigs he’d been puzzled by would make. It was nice to find something that wasn’t awesome about her though, even if Joe realised that he was sufficiently stupid about her to think the snores harmonised nicely with the sound of sawing as he roughly cut out each rib from its rectangle of thumbnail thickness sheet.

As he finished one and put it aside Joe noticed that despite his care there were a few shavings of wood and a little sawdust decorating the top of Rainbow Dash’s head so he put his tool down and, as lightly as he could, began attempting to brush those away with his hand. Rainbow Dash made a sleepy noise though and lifted her head a little to push it into what Joe tried, but didn’t manage very well, to keep more as brushing than stroking. After a little of this and another sleepy noise she settled her chin back down on his thigh and opened one eye.

“Have I been napping?”

“Yes,” Joe replied, “and sorry Dash, I didn’t mean to wake you.” He gave her a smile of apology. “You have such a lovely sheen on your mane and coat and feathers from your Spa treatment…”

“You couldn’t resist?” winked Rainbow Dash, the wink threatening to turn back into her just closing that eye again.

“I was going to say that it seemed wrong for it to be marred by some wood dust and shavings, so I was dusting you off.”

“Awww,” yawned Rainbow Dash, managing to get both eyes open, “and you have a nice shiny mane as well, and shiny skin… especially when you get sweaty.”

Joe briefly pondered the old adage ‘Horses sweat, men perspire, ladies simply glow’ and how little that applied when the lady was a horse. Those thoughts were interrupted as Rainbow Dash gave a huge stretch, fully straightening her left wing that had been pressing against Joe’s back, her right wing extending, and her hind quarters coming up as she bent her back and neck and her forelegs stretched out in front of her and across Joe’s lap. As she did this Joe took the chance to quickly shift position a little and relieve his hip.

“Were you uncomfortable?” Rainbow Dash asked, folding her wings and bringing her rear down and bringing her weight back onto it to sit upright and look him in the face.

“Not bad.”

Rainbow Dash nodded. Then she blinked at him. “Well,” she smiled, “I seem to have a crick in my neck, so if you could?”

“Could…” Joe started to say, but then Rainbow Dash settled again, and far enough across onto his lap that her chin was almost resting on his opposite thigh.

Taking the hint of this bringing her neck under his hands Joe set to work on solving the crick rather than carving wood. The colours of her mane blurred slightly along the edges as he buried his fingers in that longer hair and began kneading and working his way along her neck, but Joe was surprised at how naturally and quickly they separated out into their distinct portions again. How much the Spa treatment had helped Joe didn’t know but it was very soft and silky so it felt as nice against his fingers as it seemed she thought his fingers were feeling against her neck. He didn’t neglect the sides either, though with how she was lying he nearly twisted his wrist trying to bring his left hand to mirror his right. It seemed better to have right hand fingers down and left hand thumb down instead. For a few minutes the only ‘conversation’ were some happy noises from Rainbow Dash as Joe found a good spot.

“I am glad to see you,” Joe said, starting to move his hands along her neck again and this time to always make the same motion with left thumb and right fingers rather than wriggling both hands’ fingers or thumbs in the same way.

“Mmm-hrmm?” asked Rainbow Dash, not minding the occasional bout of synchronisation.

“I intended to come and visit you today,” Joe continued, weighing how much simpler this would be if Rainbow Dash was more facing away or towards him and a little further away against how much less cosy that extra distance would make it.

“Oh?” asked Rainbow Dash again, keeping any hint of suspicion out of her voice.

“Rarity has mentioned an event in Canterlot…”

“Hmm,” said Rainbow Dash, rolling slightly onto her right side to reluctantly end the neck rub and so she could turn her head to look at Joe. “She’s mentioned it to me and the other girls as well, sounds stuffy.”

To her satisfaction this brought a flicker of disappointment to Joe’s face as he realised this was something she might not want to do. She didn’t want him to be disappointed enough that he didn’t continue and ask though so she gave him an encouraging look and smile. If she hadn’t been watching so closely she’d have missed the tiny nod of decision Joe gave.

“It could be,” Joe admitted, “and I have some qualms about my manners at a formal occasion…” His voice subtly changed as he moved onto the part it sounded as if he had rehearsed. “But whether for the sake of friendship or romance I would be happy if we went together.”

“I don’t know Joe, your manners?” asked Rainbow Dash more seriously, and a little surprised at the qualms. “Have you heard what happened the last time some of us went to a formal party there?”

“Would that be why Rarity warned me some Ponies like petty victories in social warfare, and reassured me that Fancy Pants frowns on that?”

“Did she go into any detail?”

“No,” Joe said simply, adding a short head shake.

“It was Twi’s birthday and, as Rarity was in Canterlot and couldn’t travel back to Ponyville, we were having the party in the Castle Ballroom. After a while Twi realised Rarity had been going in and out and to the Garden Party as well, and said she didn’t mind as if Rarity could make some contacts in the Canterlot elite then that could do a lot of good for her dress shop.”

“Twilight has a good heart.”

“She does, and Rarity thanked her a lot, but then the rest of us caused problems when we decided to join the garden party as well.”

“I don’t see the problem,” Joe frowned, “you are delightful company.”

“Thanks Joe,” replied Rainbow Dash, blushing a little from the combination of the compliment and the memories. “But the Ponies at the other party didn’t think so and we embarrassed Rarity enough she seemed tempted to not admit knowing us when some of the Canterlot Ponies asked her.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, but she rallied and said we were her best friends, then when one snooty pair called us ruffians Fancy Pants defended us and said he found us charmingly rustic.”

“That doesn’t sound much better,” Joe commented, “actually it sounds worse.”

“Worse?”

“Ruffians have a certain rough energy, but ‘charmingly rustic’ sounds incredibly patronising. Especially since if Rarity’s dress was suitable for both parties you must have all been dressed quite well.”

“No, Twi was the only o… wait… Rarity was wearing a formal dress.” Rainbow Dash frowned in suspicion. “One that was a lot better for the Garden Party than what we were doing for Twi’s birthday. And she was wearing that dress when we arrived and told her we’d moved the birthday party to the Castle Ballroom.”

“Ah,” said Joe, wondering if he had just caused trouble for his tailor.

“Anyway, whether Rarity was lying about why she had to stay in Canterlot or not, she claimed it was because Opal was ill, you were right that we had a ‘certain rough energy’. So Fancy Pants was being nice to say he thought us charmingly rustic instead.”

Joe shifted position as he thought, not realising he’d taken Rainbow Dash’s left forehoof, that was extended towards him rather than folded beneath her, and was cradling it in his right hand while stroking just above it with his left. “It still sounds like ‘oh look at the quaint country cousins’. And stupid since I thought you and Fluttershy were originally from Cloudsdale and that was quite a large town…”

“We are, and it is.”

Joe nodded. “And even if they, as capital city Ponies, looked down on Ponies from any other town…”

“Even if the Ponies in that town could look down on them,” winked Rainbow Dash.

“I’ll not ask where the outlets for Cloudsdale’s toilets release, or suggest you could do more than look down on them.”

“Joe!” said Rainbow Dash, twitching enough in her shock for him to realise what he was doing to her lower leg.

“Erm,” Joe said, releasing the hoof and clasping his hands together instead. Trying to get back to what he was saying he continued. “But there was still that the one whose birthday party it was had been born and bred in Canterlot.”

“True, and I think Fancy Pants did, like you suggested the author of that humans-with-feather’s myth did, know the ‘mistake’ he was making and was testing the other Ponies there. Certainly about Twi.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, his approval had changed the attitude of the snooty Ponies. But then he started gently chiding them for not recognising Twi after she’d spent so much of the last Grand Galloping Gala greeting people alongside Princess Celestia,” Rainbow Dash replied. Then she stopped and blushed vigorously. “Unfortunately that reminded them of the chaos at that Gala and some of them remembered us from there… we’d… er…”

“Been ruffians?”

“No! Well… no. Things had gone wrong though and one even asked what made us think we were welcome in Canterlot after that.”

“Arsehole,” Joe growled.

“Was a Mare.”

“Still an arsehole.”

“And she got her comeuppance,” Rainbow Dash grinned. “Twilight just looked so puzzled as she replied that Princess Celestia had seemed happy for them to use the ballroom for her birthday party.”

Joe grinned back. “That does seem like a good answer.”

“Then Fancy Pants wished her happy birthday and, in case somepony was stupid enough to have not got the message, commented that if Princess Celestia thought we were welcome in Canterlot then could her subjects think less? Then I pointed out we’d saved them all from Discord since then as well.”

“And the Changelings?”

“The Garden Party was longer ago than that…” Rainbow Dash began before she stopped and chuckled.

“Hmm?”

“Twi said the Ponies looked posh when she looked out the window at the Garden Party, which was funny enough since we’d been given the Castle Ballroom for our party, but then we found out when the Royal Wedding was announced that Twi’s posh enough her brother was Captain of the Royal Guard.”

“That could be hard work?” Joe asked and suggested. “Maybe fairly well to do, but he had to work his way up to that position? Like his sister did when her talent and willingness to study caught the attention of Princess Celestia?”

“Oh, I’m not saying he wouldn’t have worked hard for it,” said Rainbow Dash, eyes sparkling with amusement as she prepared to unleash her punchline, “but they were still posh enough Princess Cadance was Twi’s foalsitter…”

“What?”

“Yep, wasn’t the handsome Captain of the Guard, who’d come up from nothing or little, catching the eye of a Princess. It was an older brother marrying his baby sister’s foalsitter.”

Joe chuckled back. “Yeah, I’d say that was pretty posh and that he probably wasn’t a must… crap.”

“Must… crap? Maybe that was his feeling when he realised he’d been making up to the Changeling Queen,” Rainbow Dash winked. “But tell me.”

“Erm.”

“Tell me or I tickle, has to be my turn after what you’ve been doing.”

“Mustang is a term for a wild horse, where I come from…” Joe began.

“And Shining Armour isn’t really wild, quite civilised really,” mused Rainbow Dash naughtily. “Though Princess Cadance seems happy with him…”

“And in the country where they call wild horses that,” Joe ploughed on, “they also use that word for officers who have come up through the ranks. Started at the bottom rather than going to their Military Academy and entering the service as a junior officer.”

Rainbow Dash laughed and prodded Joe with her left forehoof. “You said horses were symbols of speed and power,” she managed to force out, “why didn’t you mention that as well?”

“Maybe the same reason as I didn’t mention the phrase ‘peeing like a racehorse’.”

That destroyed Rainbow Dash’s last vestige of control and Joe began to wonder if he was going to get bruises with how hard she was prodding him with her hoof between laughs. Hopefully she wouldn’t ask what else was sometimes compared with a racehorse, Joe remembered walking by a field and seeing what looked like a length of rope suddenly extrude and dangle down almost to the ground. And he wondered if that memory was one reason why his own ‘parts’ were still unresponsive, if laughter like this was an aphrodisiac then fear was the opposite.

Comments

[spiketen]

“I’ll not ask where the outlets for Cloudsdale’s toilets release, or suggest you could do more than look down on them.”

Brilliant!