The greatest day of Scootaloo's life becomes perfect till it ends broken and torn, only to find that her nightmare doesn't end there.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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3872486
because like some many you love scootaloo
3872486
Because you have a mental deficiency.
Also it's an heart warming story of true love between a full-grown stallion and an underage filly.
Is that like his goddamn catchphrase?!
I have nuthin to say and i still wonder y I read this lol
jeez this just goes on and on
WHY CANT I STOP READING
I really should stop reading this! It's just... Wrong.
I just want to see the ending!!!!
Is Jerard ever going to die?
i remeber reading this when it just had chapter 1 - 3 its come a long way and its adorable keep up the good work my sick and twisted friend cheers
oh...please hurry with the next one? i keep re-reading this and i cant/dont want to stop...im still jealous of scoots btw
3873140 then wait until complete and read last chapter
3874235
3872486
3804969
3874235
3872949
wow 5 new readers
this can only mean evil is a-foot
3875608
make that 6
Loving the story. I just can't stop reading it. When is the next chapter coming out? No rush or anything.
3879291
this story is a grim nightmare, this probably goes a level higher than most
Urgh, need new chapter. Damn it, this doesn't update enough.
3879944
next chapter is in editing
3880411
3879971
this is true, but how i have it they can't because he's just that important
3881937
But why? They need to die somehow. Why not send an assassin? or at least a Sergal. Ooh, yes, we should send Rain Silves after Jerard.
3827205
Screw ripping his sternum out, Let us go find a Sergal named Rain Silves and sick her on him.
Do not kill Jerad send him to a mental hospital where he gets raped
Author, I think you're over-selling Jerard's connections.
You paint a picture that he has ties to several countries and makes a fuck-ton of money that supports each of them to say the least.
How could a character of such importance go largely unrecognised in society? I've been following this story for a while and I've noticed that (as I stated) over-sell Jerard's connections but for some reason is somewhat unknown from my understanding. Sure he has connections and others know him but that's about it. He claims to make more money in a month than the entirety of Equestria in taxes combined in a month. If I'm going by that, he should be THE richest individual in the entire nation!
I just found it to be inconsistent is all, and I don't know if what I'm saying will make too much sense?
3884495
mlp has so many over powered characters and things that unless i make a strong enough shield, he'd be dead already
so am i over-selling his connects?
yes
is it required to keep him alive and keep the story going?
yes
is he one of the richest ponies in Equestria?
yes
is he unknown to normal pony?
no, he's more well known than twilight and is very well known for his deeds and what he spends his money on.
3884263
In Soviet equestria, jerard rapes mental hospital.
well, i am enjoying the the fanfic so far (read the first three chapters).
but something irritates me. i've pretty much always been a fan of R34 (in relation to ponies). but i never thought of clopping to ponies ... i couldnt even imagine it. but chapter three pretty much caused a change, for some reason ...
also, there's something else to this fiction that kinda confuses me. but i dont wanna post it as a public comment, because i dont wanna post a spoiler
You should make a hearts and hooves day chapter!!!!! cause you know...valentines day...
3949773
you mean a Hearts and Hooves day of "Scootaloo's Master"?
i cant imagine how that might work, since it's not that lovely kind of story. but i wouldn't mind
3948505 you are too sensitive to fictional horses
3948643
Sure, why not? Let's also go get Zer0 to help.
I don't mean to sound winiey but whens the next chapter commin? huh huh?As much as i hate to admit this i fuckin love this fanfic sooooo much...I neeeeeeeed moooorapweas
opps for got someting for
Please
1.let aj loose
2 then rarity
3 rd
4 pinkie
5 twi
6 every pony reading this
7 if still alive let scoots kill him nice and slowly...
thank you and mora plz
3978678
realized i did something wrong, doing a major rewrite it'll be out once i'm done writing it and editing it
i want this to go on foooooorrrreeeeeevvvveerrrrrrr but every one makes mistakes so as long as it WILL come out I'll be fine also when i started reading this i thought to my self *well fuck now im interested...* so kept reading forgot it for a month now im back on read all of them from chap 3-30 and just about cryed repededly yelling you to go fuck your self but i am hooked and love it this is liked and Favorited! also wow only bout 2 hours to reply! that's pretty fucken fast cooljwj...
3983461
yay
sooo how is the rewriting and editing going can you give us a sneak peak?pweas also soooo glad i made this account and can now comment! oh yes please do sir tell me if you know what the "Herobrine" part of my name is I would love to know
3988942
not a clue, i've been, um busy over the last few weeks and haven't been able to do much of anything, but the newest chapter is about 4k so far, just needs a little mroe and it'll be finished
yay! so soon and no sneak peak?
3991642
nope
awwwwwww but awww how close though im checking every daymalso i read some of your other fics i shouldn't have... do you have any mind bleach?
3997754
nope
dammit so no mind bleach oh well but i still need more
i sound like a whiny bitch right now...still cheaking every single day...when... WHEN WILL IT COME?!?!?!?!?!
4039756
it'll come when i comes, real life is a bitch, so slow your horses, it's not like she's going to die any time soon
ok... also thanks for the comment on my page
4050220 I stopped reading this a long time ago. I came up with a better (faster) ending in my own mind. It basically has everything to do with my previous comment.
3881556
Sorry, I will not be completing your story. He cannot possibly be that important.
Also, I hope the author knows that not every dislike is from an upset Scootaloo fan who doesn't appreciate that she is going through this torment. I for one disliked it because it's way too drawn out for what it is. I gave it a chance, I read 18 chapters of it. Had to push myself to go that far, it's not fun to read, just annoying.
I think it started off as a promising story. Nothing made me want to stick around for the end though.
It's not all bad, it can't be when it has such a following. I'm not sorry to have read it or anything, it was an experience if nothing else.
Sad to hear that LAMB.
Anyway, I am currently checking every day now as well. I hope Cooljwj finds the time to work on this fanfiction. I get kind of curious which end it would have.
The epilouge would be considered as a sequel to get everything back to normal hihi.
4051459
first off, i the author purposely have the story drawn out because that's how i like it, it's on it's own level because no other slave story draws it out as long as i have nor flows like it. long stories like this isn't for most, but it allows for a certain mind frame to develop for scoots which is what the story is all about
as for Jerard being important, that has to be a factor because otherwise he just dies, there are too many overpowered character in the show to count, from Celestia, to discord from the Crysilist to even freaking twilight, and i couldn't draw out my story if i didn't put him on equal footing or they'd have just slaughtered him the second they found out, there are plenty of slave stories under 12k, only 2 above at least 30k really
also the negative vote thing was just to troll people, you're sadly the only one that has commented on it though So i understand if you can't stand the story, i'm just glad you took the time to read it much at all.
4055980
As far as I know, Jerard doesn't have any godly magical abilities that are above any ordinary magically trained unicorn. If that's the case, Jerard isn't a powerful character, all he has is money and these so called "connections". He could fall victim to a random mugging if he were out by himself late at night. If the mugger didn't know/recognise him or even care who he was, they could just kill him as easily as any other average unicorn when he refuses to cooperate (and he would). Hell, that exact scenario could be staged just as easily, and the murder could be pinned on some other criminal. Then only the criminal that was framed would get in trouble with Jerards "connections". Scootaloo is free, Jerard is dead, only at the cost of one (other) delinquent. It's not like Jerards death (that was caused by some random killer) would wage a war with the surrounding areas by itself. Maybe it would, maybe Jerard is the only reason there is peace with other nations.
I have to ask, would Jerard dying by any means cause war? Say.. If he had a heart attack or some rare, unknown illness that kills before there are even noticeable symptoms? I just don't think it makes sense that these super godly characters are powerless to do anything about it. Maybe he wouldn't even have to die. Discord can corrupt ponies, who's to say he can't un-corrupt them? I just see a lot of ways he could be stopped, that's all. If you want to write a super long story, then go ahead, you have every right to do so. Just as I have every right to write a super long comment on your story.
Anyway, keep writing, the most important thing is that you enjoy it, not me. I'm rather picky when it comes to fan fiction in general. So I'm sorry if I came off as an asshole.
4055509
Wait... What are you sad to hear? Sad that I don't want to finish? Don't be if it's no sweat off my back, it shouldn't be on yours. As for an epilogue... I think he should just kill off Scoots. What's even the point of saving somebody who is so far gone? So long as Jerard also dies, I don't think it matters too much. The ponies will move on knowing Jerard won't be doing any heinous acts ever again. I doubt it'll end like that though. I would assume cooljwj hasn't even considered a happy ending. Jerard will get his way. He's just that important.
Best of luck with your story cooljwj.
even though' i am not even close to chapter 30 (in the middle of chapter 6 "by the rod" right now), i am also wondering when the next chapter will come out. not that i am impatient or something ^^ just curious how long it takes, without the need to rush.
unfortunately i dont get the time or nerves to read what i want to read.
i'd love to read at least 3 chapters a week, or more.
and when i start reading, i do read more than a few lines. so that's not a problem (i actually have to force myself to stop reading and start sleeping). but when i am worn out in the evening i can't just grab my tablet and read 6k words, as i'd want to.
sooo ...
hopefully i'll soon be able to make some progress in reading, read more often, and go through the story.
4058470
i'm writing it, just came into a few problems.
4058162
na you don't come off an asshole, i explain it all later on why, but i understand if you won't find out, anyway, i'm glad you took the time to read as much as you did
4061676
yea, i noticed your comment a while ago that made a mistake or something, and you had to rewrite the whole thing. not that much of a problem to be honest.
a really nice story that takes some time is much better than a crappy stroy that's relaeased in a week