• Member Since 2nd Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Sunday


Darkness will always end up out lasting the light.

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:pinkiesick: oh celestia why! Cover your eyes twi! :twilightoops:

Twi's secretly jacking off in the bushes.

Then why is she right next to me then! NOT A changling! :flutterrage:


Oh Celestia, this makes me feel sick. I'm going to have nightmares for the rest of my life, I'm crying right now, this was terrifying. I can't stop thinking about this, I'm getting offline for the night.

~Scootaloo :scootangel:

hahahah and it's far from over

You know what, I'll be looking forward to reading this crazy shiznit.

I'll definitely read later.

Progression is a little fast tbh.

this is true, but the pace slows down considerably later on, i wanted to get to the painful part quickly when i wrote this first chapter :pinkiecrazy:



You see this pony? Yes, the stallion holding a rifle. His name's Dusty, and he doesn't take well to other ponies messing around with his adopted daughter.

You see, Dusty rescued poor Scootaloo here from the midst of a war-torn town. He gave her his heart so that she wouldn't be broken by the death of her father. And now here you are giving the poor filly a bad rap by putting her through this? I know for a fact that Dusty knows that Rainbow Dash would never let such a thing happen to her sister, let alone his own daughter. What kind of fucking monster are you?

I should give Dusty the right to shove that four foot long bolt-action carbine down your throat. Better yet, why not invite a friend or two to hammer you up and write a 5k word story about how your demise came by an angered father, pissed off grandfather, and protective brother? Would you like that?

~ Greetings from the god damn Dustyverse... :facehoof:


PS: I should knock your ass out for having that image as your avatar. Applejack does have a stallion that treats her like any special mare should be treated. His name's also Dusty.

2815618 Said Grampa is more than willing to write that story... And I think you meant "protective uncle"... Dance is your brother, not her's :facehoof:

Why couldn't I adopt a puppy instead?


Because said puppy wouldn't have picked up Scootaloo back then. You're lucky that I went back for her, otherwise you wouldn't be a happy grandpa. :scootangel: Thanks you as well. She finally woke up.

I feel offended by the chapter name.

well i imagine that's the last thing you'd be offended by:rainbowlaugh: but any suggestions for a different title? i just picked whatever came to mind soooo


I should give Dusty the right to shove that four foot long bolt-action carbine down your throat.

1st of all...
Part in red...

Essentially, the difference between a carbine and a rifle is the length. Some would even go so far as to say that carbines are shorter versions of a rifle. In fact, some carbines are simply modeled from well-known rifle types.

Read more: Difference Between Carbine and Rifle | Difference Between | Carbine vs Rifle http://www.differencebetween.net/technology/difference-between-carbine-and-rifle/#ixzz2XzCJhpFK

Also, you called it a 'rifle' first.:facehoof:

2nd. Why do people have pics of ponies holding weapons that they could never use?

The one in the pic would have to "shove it down" someones throat since ponies are not designed to use human made/used weapons. At least not without magic.


I now have more evidence to tell my grandchildren that I've seen some shit. :moustache:
Still a pretty... "interesting" read


Why do they draw them with weapons like that? Oh, I don't know, maybe because it's their story, and they're allowed to write what they wish.

Besides, if you actually looked, that carbine/rifle (speaking as a former Weapons Sergeant, the difference in names hardly matters in this case) has no actual trigger guard. The safest possible thing? No. But does it make it usable by somebody (or somepony rather) who lacks independent phalanges? Yes, it does.

So, on that note: be quiet.

This isn't what the comment section is for.

As for the story.

I didn't give it a thumbs down, seeing as I've read enough Scootabuse and foalcon stories on this site to make me rather strong-stomached when it comes to encountering them. I'm really half tempted to give it a thumbs up and a favorite just to piss people off.

So good on you friend!

This fic is rather dark but that'a okay since far to many people believe that MLP fan fictions should be light and happy. I being a brony of of the darkest yin find it rather interesting and hope you continue it as I would like to see where you plan on taking it. Far to many people forget the ugly side of life and try to forget about the darkness the lives in the hearts of all creatures as this world is made up of both light and darkness. Not every story has a happy beginning, middle, or end and this story is on of them. People shouldn't forget that Luna try to plunge the world in eternal night twice because of the darkness in her own heart, so the stallion in your story is much like Nightmare Moon in that regard. He only wants to hurt and abuse Scootloo for the same reason Nightmare Moon wanted an Eternal Night, the darkness in his heart is great and Scootloo's suffering the only thing that brings it peace.

I say damn the Naysayers and keep up the good work for you have allies the want to see the fullness of your vision and are ready and willing to fight for you so that you may bring it to light in the fullness of time.


Why do they draw them with weapons like that? Oh, I don't know, maybe because it's their story, and they're allowed to write what they wish.

I never said they couldn't. I just don't understand why they're not drawn more for the actual user. Meaning, since poines are built different, the whole thing needs to be re-thought.

Besides, if you actually looked, that carbine/rifle (speaking as a former Weapons Sergeant, the difference in names hardly matters in this case) has no actual trigger guard. The safest possible thing? No. But does it make it usable by somebody (or somepony rather) who lacks independent phalanges? Yes, it does.

I just pointed out he used 2 different terms for the same weapon.
It's either one or the other. Not both. But then a 'Weapons Sergeant' should know that right?

And speaking as someone who knows what they're talking about, if YOU actually look, you'll see even without a trigger guard, the design is wrong for hooves.
The stock is wrong for where their shoulders are, (for aiming).
Working the bolt won't be possible.
Firing while aiming the damn thing is a no go.
And loading will be a huge challenge. Given they have FUCKING HOOVES!!

So, on that note: be quiet.
This isn't what the comment section is for.

Look sunshine, my comment was just a passing thought/question and I know what comment sections are for.

Now, having said that, you don't get to tell anyone to be quiet.
So how about you stop being a jackass?

All of the dark themes in this story seem a bit excessive and somewhat forced. Or maybe I'm just too desensitized to be bothered by it, (if that was your intention). But honestly, it's all just too much.
I think a more subtle approach to the darker elements would really benefit this story, in my opinion.

i thought i hit at the darker elements lightly, and if you really are so used to it i feel rather sorry for you


How so? I play a lot of horror games, so this kind of stuff doesn't really bug me. That's what I meant.

:pinkiesmile: Oh that silly scoots...

Not a monster, not a bogeyman.
Nothing but another reason to feel better about yourself.
Understand that it's just a person (pony) -
not worth devoting any nightmares to.
:pinkiecrazy: - NNY (Johnny the homicidal maniac)

:moustache: Even if the story ends in a blood bath, this will be interesting.
:pinkiehappy: Please keep up the good work my friend and thanks for the inspiration.

Yours truly... NecromancerX69

Ps... :rainbowhuh: Is the evil monster (I will call him Bob for now) just a pony with enhanced power or a real monster like slender?
Ps2... :pinkiecrazy: Because if Bob is just a pony, scootaloo reaction in hearing his voice as nothing more than just an hallucination is simply glorious!

he's a normal pony, as you probably noticed scootaloo has been hearing and seeing things, blood in the shower, and when dash shouted at her, she heard his voice not dash's
it's a mental problem not him actually in her dreams :pinkiesmile:

2821211 :fluttercry: You bring tears to my eyes my good sir. In a good way.
:pinkiecrazy: Its... glorious!

Where Is my VC5 Arc Rifle. I'll make this Pony Pay for what he's doing to Scootaloo. :flutterrage:

I'll make him suffer as I snap off his horn and force it up is bum hole.

They have such a cute relationship.

This story is horrifyingly well written :/

This is really interesting.

Time for some intense theory crafting/wishful thinking. I believe that this stallion, the "Master" as he has named himself, is nothing but the beginnings of a sever form of psychosis triggered by the initial trauma.

The use of a condom means that their would be little if any remaining evidence, therefor making the usual signs of abuse nonexistent. Making it even worse for poor scoots when no one can see the signs of the pain she is being subjected to by her own mind.


sorry no, he's real, and she only wishes it was in her mind
the next chapter puts that to shame

hahahahah i love your comment!!! also i'm glad to know people are down voting it for the type of story not for my writing, that brings me never ending joy!!!


2824710 (Secretly sobbing about her situation)

oh how i would love to comfort you, :heart:

2824732 Just wondering, as I've become somewhat invested in the outcome of this story, when can we expect updates?

well if you like i could post it right now if you like, i normally post every day till i get tired of editing

2824976 Man, I would love to read it. But not if it puts you under any sort of pressure. I've been reading fanfic for a while now and I've learned that it is better to allow people to post at their own pace, free of luming deadlines.

However if you feel up to it, I 10/10 would read now.

If this motherfucker is Blueblood I'm going to punch a god damn pug I swear.

This story just went from "rape fic" to grim-dark.

What's the difference you ask? One has a much, much more advanced plot. I remember seeing the Rarity character tag and wondering when she would enter the scene, but this is much more grand of an enterence than I ever could have imagined.

At the risk of sounding cliche, I must say: The plot thickens, significantly.

Write on friend! Write on! You hold within your mind the key to this young filly's salvation, as well as the many trials and tribulations she is bound to experience before this story's enevitably grand conclusion.

I look forward to seeing more of your work in the future. And would like to say that you have a real nack for dark and serious literature. Something I think you could capitalize more on in future writings.

ah it's not blueblood, he's been well over used, the OC is the monster, also i never saw blueblood as a bad royal in all honesty, the things he did during the gala weren't any different from what women expect men to do so

2825295 I totally agree, he is completely overused. But I just had to confirm, as I had begun to build an unhealthy amount of rage.

And just FYI, I plan to follow you asap, but I'm on an iPhone right now :p and the mobile site has no follow button for some reason...

why i thank you greatly,

Just some background information, while I read stories with a darker slant such as this one I tend to listen to music that is fairly aggressive and pounding. As to why I end up doing this I couldn't say... However, on the off chance you would like some head pounding beats to thoroughly mash your skull while you continue to contemplate this poor filly's demise, I will link you to the full track list I have selected for this story. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, Qlimax 2010.

Now that I got that out of the way, I would like to begin by saying that the story continues to progress nicely. The situation is believable, and the reactions are presented such that they seem both viable as well as almost preferable to the multitude of likely alternatives.

I must say that my favorite part about this story is how Scoots seems to flat out refuse to play the helpless victim; a role she would be more than qualified (and justified) to accept. She continues to fight on with the strength of a brave soldier. Always pressing forward, and never looking back for fear what they may find.
Scootaloo has, with the exception of her latest fit of rebellion, managed to keep incredibly cool under the extreme pressure she has been put under. Something I personally believe will be the ultimate catalyst of her eventual escape from the hell of her current reality.

As an ending to this chapter's comments, I would like to discuss something that I find very interesting.
My original theory about this all being a part of a massive psychological break down on Scootaloo's part had a great deal to do with the difficulty I originally had distinguishing her reality from the night terrors she had been experiencing. At first, I was slightly bothered by the sometimes confusing flow of events until I began to realize that I was successfully beginning to understand (in some small way) the horribly confusing nature of situation Scoots was forced into. I found this method (whether intentional or not) to be a stroke of genius. I rarely identify with characters, but the raw emotion expressed in this writing allows even the most disconnected reader to take more than a small amount of interest in the fate of this unfortunate little filly.

I'm kinda ok with this. Messed up but then again I am a sick motherfucker.

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