• Published 9th Feb 2012
  • 23,168 Views, 773 Comments

Upheaval: Breaking Point - Visiden Visidane

A desperate war, old enemies returning and past mistakes come together to alter Equestria forever.

  • ...

Faithful Students

Upheaval: Breaking Point

Chapter 48: Faithful Students

"Our nearest contingent is about a week from the Heartland, your Highness," Commander Moon Haze of the Southern Equestrian Legion said. Her remaining blue eye gleamed with intensity. The rest of her face showed no emotion.

"Our nearest contingent will take longer, ten days at best," Commander Stonewall of the Western Equestrian Legion added. He frowned as he said that, clearly frustrated that his projections were not as good as the previous one.The lines of age around his face, combined his myriad of scars, made it look like his hide had turned into crumpled parchment.

"We're five days to the barrier from SummerSteel City, your Highness," Commander Frostbite of the Northern Equestrian Legion said. There was no mistaking the grin of confidence that split his lips. Several gold teeth shone from his mouth, almost as if they were carefully polished just for this moment. "I guarantee a batch of chosen recruits in a week once you give an order!"

Terrato acknowledged the reports coming from the magical images his Legion Commanders with a nod. It took less than half an hour after the meeting with his sisters and the Elements of Harmony for his commanders to respond. "Let me be perfectly clear on this," he said. "The Legion is going to the Heartland to acquire resources. 'Reprisals' of any sort from legionnaires who had a problem with the barrier will be punished severely. Do you understand?"

"Yes, your Highness," all three replied.

Terrato dismissed the communication spell, and stared at the fireplace. Dreadstep was going to vacate the commander's quarters to give to him, but he refused. He took a bit of pleasure in reminding his subjects what his title actually meant. Shaping stone came easily, even when he was tired. With a single spell, the Grand Meeting Hall had another room, complete with a fireplace. It was modest in size and amenities to suit his tastes, and because he refused to stay in a better room than Celestia.

With the Legion moving smoothly for now, Terrato relaxed a little. Great tasks loomed ahead. The transition was going to be a complicated process. Ideally, the chosen should move on their own once Celestia's decree started spreading. There would be volunteers, and they should have plenty of useable resources. Of course "ideal" wasn't expected, especially after his Canterlot visit.

Judging the Heartland's capital by Terrato's standards and tastes would be unfair. Still, the glaring colors, the excessive luxuries…he wrinkled his nose. A sudden earthquake was tempting, just to see if this hive of fops could pull it together in a crisis. That the other settlements in the Heartland might be the same was troubling.

Recruitment was only one concern, not even the first. He gave the Legion six months to produce an army of reserves. In those six months, Fangbreaker should be operational in time for a spring invasion. Six months was optimistic. If the chosen proved uncooperative, more legionnaires would have to go. Equestria couldn't afford a civil war, even if it was a well-trained army against a horde of pie-throwing foals. Converting the Heartland's resources would be a problem even if the chosen were completely cooperative. The Legion was likely going to take away their hardest workers, then make them supply the Legion on top of supporting themselves. They couldn't be expected to start producing weapons, and other materials at top-notch quality when they've never had to for centuries. Experts from the Barrier Lands would have to set up the proper industries.

And that was merely the problems within Equestria. Arugek and Sesyth have been silent for too long. Perhaps they were still lucky on those fronts: Ophidus did have the Crocodilian rebellions to worry about, and Ursinium was still recovering from its disastrous extermination campaign against Sesyth's empire.

He cast aside the worries for now. Tomorrow morning, reports would be coming in. That would be the time to be bothered by all of this. He concentrated on a spell, and pulled a bundle of letters from his personal, extra-dimensional space. He sorted them out with his telekinesis, letting them float in front of him while he read.

Dearest Prince Terrato,

The situation in Stoneguard is rather dire at the moment: resources are scarce, morale is low, and the ursans are firmly entrenched in the area. I sincerely apologize for fearing that you would send me someplace "safe" for my first assignment. Thank you for this opportunity. As a start, I thoroughly investigated the situation, and found Commander Rich Soil guilty of willful negligence, and mismanagement. He's still hanging by the courtyard as I write this letter. Most of the fort's troops have taken well to my decision, but his family appears the vengeful type. I have eyes and ears on them already. They'll prove a good source of amusement while I reorder this place.

Your faithful student,

Black Rose

Stoneguard Fortress. It was once a problem spot, referred to as "the ursan meat locker" for its high casualty rate. It was her first step, the beginning of her rise. Though faced with a daunting task on her first mission, her elegant, curving script spoke only of supreme confidence.

Dearest Prince Terrato,

Today I had the opportunity to apply your doomed spies lecture. We caught a couple of deserters this morning. I offered them a pardon, and a transfer to a less dangerous post if they would deliver a secret message while posing as food delivery to a nearby outpost. I filled them with false information, and sent them through a route we knew that the ursans were watching. My scouts told me that the ursans hadn't even mentioned torture when they started talking. Of course, the ursans caught hold of my "secret plans", and placed their troops accordingly. An entire company of them walked into our ambush resulting in a glorious victory for the day. I can only hope I have more opportunities to apply your teachings.

Your faithful student,

Black Rose

She received just that. The pride of seeing his protégé excel using the skills he taught her was one of the most wonderful things he had ever felt. When he learned that Celestia herself had a student, he could understand the reason, even if he knew where that path would eventually lead.

Dearest Prince Terrato,

Things have become rather interesting these past few days. My scouts report of a growing rift between the ursan commander, Gro-bor-haf, and one of his more popular warriors, Dro-reg-rob. It seems our recent victories have resulted in a questioning of their commander's leadership. This is the time to finish them off. I'm about to launch a two-pronged attack on their main camp during which I will personally lead a force to inflict heavy casualties on Gro-bor-haf's forces while having the ponies engaging Dro-reg-rob retreat. The effects should be telling.

Your faithful student,

Black Rose

Dearest Prince Terrato,

I am writing this in the ursan camp. When the dust settled from our two-pronged assault, I had my scouts check up on the ursans. Their in-fighting was so loud that I was already preparing troops before the scouts even returned. The final attack was rather disappointing. The remaining ursans were either too injured from all the fighting, or drunk from their celebration of their new leader. For a none-too-bright brute, Dro-reg-rob has surprisingly soft fur. He'll make a fine rug and I shall have a wonderful present for you upon my return. I look forward to my next assignment.

Your faithful student,

Black Rose

A knock brought a frown to Terrato. With a wave of his hoof, he sent the letters back to his extra-dimensional space. "You should be resting by now," he said sternly when the door opened.

Luna entered the room despite the harsh welcome. "And your temper should have cooled by now."

Terrato turned around. He quietly swore that, if Luna looked bedraggled enough, he was going to wrap her in chains, and put her back in her quarters. He relented when he saw her. She did look a little better. Again, he was underestimating her. "How is Celestia?" he asked.

Luna let out a sigh. "She's fine. If you're so worried, you should visit her."

Terrato returned to staring at the fire place. "After threatening to force the truth on her chosen if she didn't tell them, followed by shouting her student down, and smashing a door in front of her?"

"I don't understand you, big brother. There is nopony in this world who cares more for big sister, but you keep ending up like this."

Terrato smiled morosely. "Clearly I've been going about things wrongly. You're still on a roll, little sister, advise me."

Luna raised an eyebrow. "You can start by not picking on her student from now on," she said. "For both their sakes."

"I never picked on that grape of a pony." Terrato snorted.

"You had her whipped, and you just shouted her down a while ago."

"First of all, I didn't have her whipped. I was going to hang her friend as the laws dictated. She should consider it a favor that I let her be whipped."

"And the shouting her down part?"

Terrato frowned slightly. That was just an hour or so ago, and thinking about it was still irritating. "What about it? She knows that I'm not going to kill her because Celestia values her greatly, so she's flaunting that fact by tempting fate repeatedly."

"Twilight is a good pony, big brother. She came to this place by her own will to help out. At a great cost, I might add. You make her sound like a smug, spoiled filly hiding behind our sister when you can see how hard she's fighting."

Terrato snorted. "Well, both can be true, can't they?"

"Please, try to get along better with her," Luna said with a sigh. "I'm sure big sister would be able to relax more if you treated her student well."

Terrato rolled his eyes. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm not going lose my temper with Celestia's precious little student again." His voice hardened. "I will still enforce my laws strictly, though. The next time she's slated for thirty lashes, she gets thirty."

"I suppose that's good enough for now," Luna said.

"Now that the small matters are out of the way, tell me what you really came here for."

As Terrato expected, his sister fell silent. This should be the time he would assure her that she could tell him anything, that he would listen calmly and reasonably. However, he already had an idea of what this might be about, and having her overcome with nervousness, and deciding not to go through with it after all wasn't a bad prospect. Luna did speak again, however. For the first time, Terrato was less than pleased by his little sister's new-found courage.

"I want to talk about your student this time."

Luna approached the subject nervously. Black Rose. Of course she wanted to talk about Black Rose. Saying nothing until Luna went away was tempting. Let the others see Black Rose as simply a deranged and rebellious student of his, and leave it at that. "Go on," he said, consigning himself to the painful recollection that followed. He deserved this after all.

"How did she do that, big brother? No matter how gifted she is, she shouldn't have the knowledge to transform herself like that! The only way to even put together such magic would be to--"

"Glean it from the Eternal Herd," Terrato said. "You already have your suspicions, Luna. Out with them."

"Then, it's true," Luna said sadly. "You taught her the means. I didn't even think it was possible. But why? And how?"

"Why would it matter now?" Terrato snapped. He rounded on Luna so quickly that she hastily took a couple of steps back. "It was a stupid, and reckless mistake from a long time ago, and it doesn't change what we have to deal with right now!"

"It's not about changing our situation now," Luna said softly. "I just thought it would put you more at ease if you told somepony."

Terrato caught himself. He was lashing out again when he should be coming clean. 'So this is for me, is it?' He snorted, and went back to staring at the fireplace. "I've already told you how important Black Rose was to me, remember?"

"Yes," Luna replied. "She was your greatest legionnaire and companion."

"She was also mortal," Terrato added. "And that never left my mind. It didn't matter how many victories she won, or how many favors I showered her with. I knew that she was closer to death with each passing day."

Terrato recalled those days. Such a strange time it was when looked back to them: days of fierce pride, nights of fiercer passion, and those waking hours when it was just him, an ache in his chest, and a growing sense of dread inevitability. Faced with Luna's questioning eyes, he forced himself to talk past the melancholy.

"I didn't care for these mortals," he said. "They were just tools to fulfill Celestia's wishes, statistics, and resources. Black Rose was different, and she made everything different. Oh, I tried reminding myself that they were all meant to die, and that they were going to be happy in the Eternal Herd. I just--" He raised a hoof to stomp, but he lowered it at the last moment. "I just couldn't bear facing the future without her."

Terrato's face hardened. He never thought that what he did next it was a good idea. He knew what the consequences were. The stupidity lay in that he wholly believed in its necessity. "So I decided to do something about it," he said. "Each mortal pony, no matter how far removed from their ancestors, has a spark of Oceanus within. A spark of alicornhood. If I could somehow enhance that, I could make Black Rose into one of us, and have her rule by my side."

Luna pressed her lips tightly. She had already pieced it together. Here was the sixth rebellion at last. It was a law given to all of the Eternal Herd when the children of Oceanus crawled forth from his blood: do not tamper with their fates. Lexarius broke that law by trapping the souls of ponies in this world in a vain attempt to keep what he was doing from the Eternal Herd. "I went as far as to contact the Eternal Herd," Terrato said. "I created the Ascendancy Ritual, a spell that would grant Black Rose the power of an alicorn. But, to enhance that spark, it had to be fed the sparks of others. If I wanted to extend Black Rose's life, I needed to sacrifice other ponies."

Luna's eyes widened. "You didn't…" she whispered. "Did you do exactly that?"

"I was determined to," Terrato replied. "Everything was ready. I had a village to the south about to be "overrun" by ophidite raiders." He closed his eyes. "But I decided against it at the last moment. I destroyed my research, and consigned myself to watching Black Rose eventually fade away." His voice grew harsh. That was the turning point. It was at that moment that he had realized that his faithful student was gone, and a monster of his own making had taken her place. "Black Rose discovered my work anyway. She recreated the Ascendancy Ritual, and secretly began to use it."

Terrato thrust a hoof towards the fire. Despite being so close, he could barely feel any warmth from the flames. How many ponies had Black Rose fed on before he killed her? He didn't know. What he knew was that they would have been fewer if he wasn't so blind. Memory was a strange thing. When had he really found out about the truth? How long did it take for him acknowledge it enough to act? How many years did he spend trying to convince himself that Black Rose was merely aging very, very slowly?

Silence, thick and distancing, fell across the room.

"Say it," Terrato said. He could barely look at Luna. He didn't want to see the judgment, or the horror.

"What?" was all Luna said. The genuine curiosity shocked him.

"Say what's on your mind," Terrato spat. "Say that this is all my fault. I gave Black Rose the means to become what she is today. My selfish desires, and blind infatuation caused all of this."

Luna shook her head. "You're looking at the wrong pony if you're looking for blame, big brother. You're forgetting that I've made my mistakes too. So has big sister."

"So you have." Terrato replied. "So much for being the best choice as stewards of this world."

Luna walked to his side. "Black Rose was not just the start of something bad, big brother. You've come to care about Equestria afterwards didn't you? That's a good thing."

Terrato put a foreleg around Luna, and pulled her closer. "The moon is at its most beautiful during the winter, little sister," he said with a smile. "Is that why you're on such a roll?"

Luna smiled at the compliment. They stared quietly at the fire for some time, wishing that the future would share even the slightest bit of its brightness.

Standing by the ruins of her old tower, Black Rose watched with a smile as the sun descended into the horizon, and the heat of day gave way to comforting shadow. The transition between day and night quickly became her favorite part of her new responsibility. It required a certain degree of cooperation between her and Princess Luna, who raised the moon as she lowered the sun. She liked to think that despite the tragic, but necessary, harm she had to do to Celestia, the Princess of the Night would be impressed, even slightly, by how quickly she took to her new role.

She made her way through the rubble, daintily picking through the pieces of obsidian, and indulging in feelings of nostalgia. Terrato had raised this tower for her, fashioning it from her favorite material. During the height of her command, the tower was the most beautiful structure in all of the Barrier Lands: an elegant tapering structure of gleaming blackness where she spent many a day crafting plan after plan to bring more glory to her prince's realm. And the nights…she closed her eyes, and let the familiar feelings flow through her. These past days had been one thrilling improvisation after another. Now that she was at this stage, she had some time to relax before starting the next part of her plans.

She stood before the great pillar of rock that her beloved had used to crush her. It was a rather crude, and brutal end for somepony like her. When she had found out that he was already heading for her home, she had imagined that scenario to have a bit more intimacy...more passion: a knife to the heart up close, a strangling with his bare hooves…having a giant rock drop on her head was rather impersonal. Perhaps, should another opportunity present itself, Terrato would choose more to her taste.

A second one would have to be placed in the far future. Preparing for the first one required immense resources, and careful planning in the form of hundreds of stasis clones scattered all throughout the Barrier Lands, a few even being carefully hidden in enemy territory. Most of them were eventually rooted out and destroyed by Terrato, but all she needed was one to survive to anchor herself to this world. She had placed them in a dormant state to make detection more difficult, even at the cost of leaving her in stasis for several centuries. And it did just that. Seven hundred years passed before she awoke to continue her plans. It was just in time as well. She had predicted that Nightmare Moon's return would move King Fenrir to make a major assault, and she had awakened before that required time.

Black Rose's thoughts went fondly towards a certain unicorn mare. Twilight Sparkle, even the name was music to her ears. She had braced herself for watching more of her beloved Equestria being ravaged by a horde of wolven before the opportunity to act arrived. Instead, she witnessed the miracle that was Twilight Sparkle's rebellion. The change that mare brought with her was exhilarating. It was as if the entire world accelerated upon the arrival of Twilight Sparkle. The rebels that she had resigned herself to keeping alive for a long time were rendered obsolete after merely aiding the fall of Fangbreaker Fortress. The wolven had barely penetrated the north when Celestia was ready to be brought to the Barrier Lands. There was no need to wait for Sun Gazer to educate his children about "the conspiracy", and there was certainly no more need to keep the Order of True Equestrians around. All the tools she had carefully procured, and maintained over the years since she awakened had all been thrown out the window by a Twilight and her band of loyal friends.

It wasn't just the acceleration that excited her. The Elements of Harmony presented the crux of her plans: a challenge that she was more than glad to accept. She already had plans laid out for each one of them thanks to the extensive profiling that Spike had provided her. To implement each of them would be a wonderful gamble.

At a small, untended corner of Black Rose's island were several unmarked graves. Throughout the centuries they had remained untouched. She was glad that the Legion respected her enough to leave her home alone despite her "death". Here, she sacrificed her most loyal servants in preparation for her demise, and transition into the future. She concentrated on her new power, and channeled it through spells she had long researched from the ancient library of Lexarius. The dormant spirits of her agents were close by. They were trapped by enchantments that a powerful pony from the Eternal Herd itself had developed, then they were kept dormant to keep them from being noticed. Arcs of powerful magic coursed through the ground, and crackled all around her as they awakened.

The shadows coalesced, and her former officers materialized one by one. There was no need for words. With a sound like the quick passing of a gentle breeze, they recognized her and what her presence meant. All they needed now were physical bodies which she would have to craft or procure some time soon. Of the six she had preserved, only four had arisen. A troubling development. The spells around the remaining two must have deteriorated.

'Such a shame,' she thought. 'And I wanted to pit my six against Celestia's. I'll just have to acquire two new ones from the Legion…perhaps even the Heartland.' She let out a brief laugh, then turned her gaze towards the beautiful winter moon. How bright the future looked. How clear and sublime like Princess Luna's moon!

"Just a little more, beloved," she whispered. "I promise."

Comments ( 226 )

Sooooo glad to see this up here =) This was the first fanfic I've read, and it got me hooked =) Keep it up! love it

Wheee! New chapter! I'm liking the soul-stasis, I've been toying around with similar ideas. :pinkiesmile:


Glad to see this has been uploaded here, I was following it on EQD but this is much more convenient.

So this is the end of part 1, if I remember reading the author's note correctly. I wait in anticipation for the next part.

That was the sweetest brother sister talk ever... taking into account thet he used to hate Luna. I love this sidestory about the three siblings relation, Terrato is so well crafted. Bravo. :twilightsmile:

Waiting eagerly for the next part of Upheaval.

Love your stuff man been reading it since i first seen it on EQD.

This is just too bleeding amazing. I have no words. Have my vote, watch, track and favorite.

welp there goes my spare time after finding this, oh well

Two more officers for Black Rose? I'm calling it right now: Trixie. :trixieshiftleft: And for the other: somepony to cause even more heartsickness. I would say she'd try for Big Macintosh, but how willing do the Subjects have to be? Perhaps Twocolt would be a suitable candidate?

The Mane Six need to bolster their friendship once again, though there's more space between them this time around. It'll take some Doing. But Applejack will be the linchpin.
Celestia will have to be protected until they can get her power back. Maybe they can use that same mana battery trick? Or perhaps appeal to the justice of the Eternal Herd through the Ignis Equi?
Whatever happens, the journey is far from over for our faithful Chosen.

Well, I finally finished it. I'll be Tracking you from now on, and I'm eager to see where you take Things.

I just finished reading this the other day. I. Am. Amazed. Literally one of the best stories I've read in quite some time, even including real novels. I absolutely love it, and I can't wait for the rest.

I found myself wondering why this fic was marked "Complete," when it obviously isn't. I'mma slink off and read the sequel now... :twilightblush:

:raritydespair: How does this story only have 41 up votes?!?!
You are an amazing author, keep up the good work.
Can't wait to see what you do in the next arc.

PHEW! Quite the marathon I submitted myself to. Finished this in 2 days. I could've gone faster, but hey, this is the internet. I have like 50 tabs open at once. :pinkiehappy:

Best story I've read in quite a while. I kept tossing it aside because of the grimdark tag and the art I got a glimpse of (the one with AJ lying on a hospital bed, with RD crying her eyes out). Boy am I glad I gave it a fair chance. The world you created just blows my mind. I tried to guess what would happen next or where the story was going, but every 5 chapter or so you proved me wrong. Every single time. I did manage to point out the major plot points that would happen by the end of it though. :twilightblush:

Celestia is one of my favorite characters. THAT BEING SAID. You managed to make me hate her guts beyond belief. I tried to understand her thought process, I really did, but she acted like a 12 year old foal would, not like an immortal ruler. Buuuuuuuut I guess that part was essential to the flow of the story. I like how it all turned out though.

Oh, by the way, I cried like a little girl after that one major battle. You know which one. It was heartbreaking, to say the least. :heart:

Dude, just feel I should let you know: This was the first fanfiction I ever read! Way back on FanFiction.net! Didn't realise you've moved here! Anyhow, thanks for a great story bro, I mean it.

553119 oh yeah, i've caught up by now and this has to be the best fic i've read, besides Echo

557512 i know rite!!!
i sugesed that he uploaded the story on this site... now its easy to keep up and there are pll who dont look on EQD sugh a shame... but its getting way more fiews this way... and thats how it suposed to be... ^^ now i look a few times a day if it has a update... nice you like it *bro hoove!* /)*

Awesome work. Loved it from beginning to end.That being said I'm off to read the sequel.

220853 i know rite!!! thats why i ask him to upload it here its so much easyer to track >.<

Alas, the length of your story has caused me peruse it and read it I did!
I quite enjoyed it towards the end and anticipate the completion of your sequel.

I read the story in Word 2010 with Arial and size 11
the following typos are marked off according to the page I was on when I read them:

[directly after being banished] “The wolven were a good thirty feet or so when they spotted Twilight and her friends.”
[500] “Her protest was completely driven her head”
[539] “starts”
[663] “aptian”
[746] “those strange set”
[852] “us laugh as staggers”
[854] “that look like she”

I hope that my reporting these of these typos doesn't annoy you :)

It's finally on FimFiction! You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this; makes it much easier to track...

Anyways, fantastic writing, keep up the good work!


730119 keep reading, it's all explained

754716 you can have all those 'firsts' :facehoof:, the rest of us have moved onto the sequel :trollestia:

"so many chapterrssss, so many riches of plenty"

this is gunna take me age to read :derpyderp2: but i'm gunna love it ^^

Well, after three days of reading, I've finally finished this. I must say, you've done an amazing job at worldbuilding, and Twilight Sparkle (not to mention Black Rose) is a badass at war.

Looking forward to reading Part II over the next week.

Have you been editing/rewriting? I see many chapters were updated today. :derpyderp2:


Going through the chapters to fix sudden shifts in PoV. They're quite prevalent and have to be rewritten .

985142 I remember seeing a word in chapter 36 that was misspelled when I was reading it just a minute ago, but now I can't seem to find it, just an FYI

how did you manage to get 10 characters? I thought that only 5 was allowed.

1008925 I'm not sure if the Mane6 count as one character, because I've seen them made into just one icon sometimes
plus when did the 'only five character tags' rule come into being anyway? because this story could've been grandfathered in

Interesting story so far. Lots of intrigue and action which is fun. Also possible D&D references especially in the spells (I swear there are too many references to specific spells to be coincidences). I also like your characters.

Only one nitpick and it is a selfish one and that is the lack of Pinkie Pie. Being my favorite character I found myself searching chapters just to get a little glimpse. Granted what I did see was good I just wish there was more of it. Perhaps in the equal she will do more? I guess I will have to read and see.

This is an interesting advanture fiction.
Cong. I saw it from EqD.

I love the character of Twilight here. She's brave, wisdom, and does not act like other Twilight in some ponyballZ-style advanture ficitons..
In addition, it looks like that some part of personality of Luna in other advanture fictions transfer to the OC Alicorn prince.
The Luna here acts more like Luna before S2 E4.
But it's fine. She's still a charming in this fiction.
Poor Celestia.. Sigh..

It's interesting, Luna is hot in some epic advanture fictions.
Ferrir wants her as a bribe. Titan (Immortal Game) also wants her as a bribe.


ponyballZ-style adventure fictions

ponyball Z?

The Luna here acts more like Luna before S2 E4.

that's because it was written before S2 Ep4, Visiden just edited it to make it work with S2 canon (nothing from season 3 will be included, as it's running on it's own mythos now/too separated from the show)

Fenrir wants her as a bride. Titan (Immortal Game) also wants her as a bride. [fixed your spelling for you]

well in Norse mythology, Fenrir is the giant wolf who tried/was trying/fated to eat the moon (well technically it's Fenrir's son, but close enough...), guess this version of Fenrir wants to eat Luna in a different way...
plus Upheaval came out before The Immortal Game (then called Ponies Make War), check the dates on EQD if you don't believe me

Thank you for replying and answering. (and fixing my spelling).

I like Twilight here. She fights not because she's a gifted and powerful unicorn.
She has her faith and courage to sacrifice herself.
She said "no" to her mentor for the truth, she shared the lashes while she's a unicorn (physical weakness).
She may not have very strong power but she has strong mind here.

Thanks for the information of the original story about Fenrir and the moon.
That's an interesting idea and I love it.
Sorry for my misunderstanding and not checking that date first.
I saw the fanart from EqD before reading this fiction,

I joined the herd lately. Most advanture fim-fictions that I read are based on S2 canon (Especially of Luna).
So the Luna in this fiction is new for me.
(This is my first time seaing her using Heal/Regeneration magic.. )

It also brings lot of fun and I'll keep reading.
Thank Visiden again for the awesome work.


Thank you again for your awesome work.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, I don't deserve your thanks :twilightsheepish:, I'm just the local internet dweller, who has WAY too much free time, all praise goes to the great and reclusive Visiden, who only comes down from his (metaphorical) high mountain cave to Word of God the occasional thing which doesn't/wouldn't get answered in-story
see you in the sequel!

Oh my..
How embarassed.. :facehoof:
Thank you for answering.
And thank the author for this good job :D

1139246 ICYDK (in case you didn't know) author's comments have the place where the username is have a red red background with the text being white, rather then the standard black text on a yellow-ish background

Darn, why is Black Rose so likable! I know she is evil but I keep wondering if she has to really be stopped... lol Very good work on the story so far, I can't wait to read the next story in the series.

I kinda wish I could buy this story and put it in my library. :twilightsmile:

Thanks. Google Translate can only take me so far.

just finished the marathon xD
took me almost 2 or 3 weeks but i loved it. now for the next story over x3

1270725 well, that's one of the best aspects of a Magnificent Bastard; we want to see them succeed, they have a goal, and seen in the right light it could even be a better plan then the heroes', plus they rarely, if ever, are pointlessly cruel...
I swear, Visiden copy-pasted the character sheet for a Magnificent Bastard into Black Rose's description/traits list, and it works, brilliantly
the only fault I can see with Black Rose that would (and probably will) lead to her downfall, is her dedication to her 'beloved'
See you in the sequel!

Brilliant story sir and/or madam. I shirked important university readings to marathon this beast in 3 days and it was entirely worth it. Very few fanfictions have ever grabbed me and this is easily in the top 3. Moving on to the sequel instead of sleeping/reading course material — keep up the superb work!

Finally finished this after months of putting it off, now on to the sequel!

Really good story, you go a bit grim dark but that doesn't stop it from being compelling. Although I was really hoping that Pinkie would get to infect more of the legion with her personality, looks like at best she got Vanguards dad, it also would have been cool to see Fluttershy stare down a wolfen and get a pet that hung around. But I guess either of those things would take away from the grimdark. Black Rose is also the most annoying type of villain, the kind that seems to make really long term plans that just workout, she is a pretty good villain but having all her plans just work makes her more annoying than anything, so far her only weakness seems to be her plans working too well. I know its too late by this point but it probably would have made it more compelling if at least Celestia managed to pull some of her power back from her so she had to cut off her transfer, just something to make her less of a villain sue.

Are you close to being finished with Reckoning? I hate to start a story when its not finished but I would like to keep going.

Great story.
Now I shall plunge into sequel!

Thank you very much!!!!!!!!!! :fluttercry:

Not bad mate. Not bad at all.

1634937 yup thats me! but first i checked your profile to make sure you still used fimfiction so yo could reply to my comment :pinkiehappy:

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