• Member Since 8th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen 16 minutes ago

Visiden Visidane


Is that a terrorist?!?

T

Stupid shipping story submitted for the approval of Jake the Army Guy's Horse Words Extravaganza, the theme being Obscure Shipping.

Limestone Pie is an expert in making things work. Taking charge of the sprawling family business? She'll take the job. Completely useless, airheaded sisters not helping out? She'll work around them. Lazy, incompetent workers? She'll beat them into shape. The only one concerned with keeping the line of Pies going? Not a problem.

So when the Choosing Stone picks a prospective husband...well, she's got her work cut out for her and she's not backing out.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 69 )

This ship came out of nowhere and I love it.

What the fuck.

This was fantastic. Your characterization and voicing were magnificent; the contrast between Limestone's tense, abrasive, judgemental outlook and Soarin's half-relaxed, half-weary attitude showcases both characters, celebrating their strengths and weaknesses alike. The world building was well thought-out and subtly folded in. And I especially love how this wasn't pure, instant sickbed romance. It took time and friendship and mutual respect. Excellently done. Best of luck in the contest.

I just hope that either Dash adapted to the Second Wing's expectations or Spitfire got that stick out of her rear.

Pulses translated from Rock: "Genetic diversity with the family is a good thing. Let me just wing this passing pegasus. (Oomph!) There we go. Now go tie him to something solid and visit him once a year for... Hey! No, don't... Well, I suppose you have to nurse him back to health before (ahem) that. I might have hit him a little hard when he was flying over, and I didn't think he'd break that bad on impact."

I like the idea here. I think you have a number of threads that really could add to the work through a sequel could also work. We know Pinkie has a are friend and it is one of her best friends. We also know Dash is in over her head and needs help. Neither of these have been addressed but I do think that they would work together. Pinkie and Dash being the couple and having to deal with the changes here would be interesting and would give a good excuse to have Pinkie and Limestone interact with each other.

I really well done piece. The dialogue, interactions, and general romance bewteen Lime and Soarin felt amazingly natural. I'm glad I took the time to read this.

Great work.

That was fun. Limestone is very, uh, colorful.

I like the idea and the crackship, but it didn't really have time to cook. The characters were well-written and characterized, but had basically no connection or chemistry between them other than "hey thanks for not leaving me to die in your field" and "a rock said I need to marry you and I'm clearly still not enthused by this". It sort of skipped the defrosting phase, and then a confession happened...two months later with literally no interaction in between (DERP no)?

8231119 Limestone's introspection at the start of this chapter says they've been on multiple dates since the airshow:

chased him to a show, then went on some kind of date afterwards, then another, then another, then another...

I agree that it was fast paced and would've worked better had it shown another date or two to build some more chemistry between them. Hadn't seen this ship before, so it was still enjoyable and both characters felt in-character.

As is, the story was decent. Just needed an extra chapter in the middle to flesh it out a little more. Would be interesting to see a sequel just to see how things continue to play out between these two.

"Stop whining," Limestone told herself. "You sound like Pinkamena. Of course this will be hard work. A husband doesn't just drop out of---"

A series of alarmed yells from the workers tore Limestone out of her reverie. Furious, she trotted towards them. "What's all this racket?" she demanded.

The quarry laborers had gathered around a rising cloud of dust. The farthest from the sight, Flim, looked to Limestone, then tapped his brother urgently on the shoulder. "We were just surprised when this pony fell out of the sky, Miss Limestone," he said.

daww limestone is taking all of my dawws recently

fck i need more daw juice i used all mine up on this story

Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight Sparkle in the Royal Box.

i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/430/609/3d9.png

That was lovely. Really nice work.

Wow, that felt kinda racist Limestone. :rainbowderp: Love where this is going. Diamond Dogs work on the farm and she's like the strict overlord. I like it!

8232058
Are we reading the same fic? I think you meant Soarin. :scootangel: Limestone is being angst as heck. Angst in an adorable tsundere way.

Oh, Liestone. Only this family could they yell at rocks, stones, and boulders and I wouldn't call them crazy for doing so. ;m

Oh, that question caught her off guard. Limestone's eyes widened before she suddenly turned away. "None of your business! I mean..."

Translation: "It's not like I came all this way to see a show I don't like to see you, baka."

Yeah, Limestone is so a typical tsundere pony. I love it. The tsundere in Limestone is so strong and I can see the spark of love this chapter! Take that Spitfire you b*****!! :flutterrage:

I love this story~! Make a sequel! (Also include a cat fight between Limestone and Spitfire in that sequel..PLEASE!!!)

8232754
i do belieave we are and yes i know sorin is cool but i liked limestone actions in this story it reminds me of something along the lines of its not that i like you or anything baka :rainbowdetermined2:

This is a cute little romance you got here. Not a pairing I would ever consider though that's hardly surprising given neither of them have ever met in the show but I felt like this worked well for what it was. I would have wanted it to be a little longer and more fleshed out but it's definitely good enough to get a thumbs up, even if not enough to get a favourite.

By the way Limestone needs to beat the hay out of Spitfire or at least Pinkie should for putting too much pressure on her marefriend (I'm assuming). :pinkiecrazy:

Welp, this is gonna win the contest. May as well not even try now. :ajsleepy:

8232903
LOL, I know right? :rainbowlaugh: This is what I wrote in another comment.

Oh, that question caught her off guard. Limestone's eyes widened before she suddenly turned away. "None of your business! I mean..."

Translation: "It's not like I came all this way to see a show I don't like to see you, baka." That's what I think she was saying at least. It was still a fun story to read. I hope the writer will make another one. :raritystarry:

Well that was a pleasant read. I think I would have liked a bit more interaction between Spitfire and Limestone but that might have made it a bit to cliché.

Perhaps a sequel with how they get along in newly married life, hint hint nudge nudge.

I love the concept, the unusual pairing, and the lore with the Choosing Stone (I'm surprised I haven't seen it in more fics). I also love how all the dregs of society end up working on the rock farm. However, I agree with some other commenters that it was rushed toward the end. It could have used some descriptions of a couple more dates to build the relationship more. I guess that's one of the drawbacks to trying to meet a contest deadline. Still, have an upvote from me. :pinkiesmile:

8233660
same i dont know why but i have been reading a lot of limestone fiction lately

Sorry, but I couldn't get into this story after reading through the first two chapters. While the prose and sentence structure is superb, the actual content of the story has left me feeling either confused or disgruntled, sometimes both. Some of the exposition earlier on in the story felt a bit much, but the main reason I felt this way comes down to how the characters are portrayed, Limestone and Spitfire in particular.

In regards to Limestone, there's no denying that she's one of the grumpier ponies in the show, but her depiction in the first chapter made her unlikable in my opinion. The way she forced Trixie into indentured servitude after the latter tried stealing some food left a sour taste in my mouth, even if Trixie was asking for trouble by robbing someone, and her general attitude regarding the other Pie sisters made me feel uncomfortable. The way she described Pinkie and Maud in the narration, particularly in regards to their sexuality, came off as a little too mean-spirited. The fact that she also ditched the diamond dogs after two of them got trapped in a cave in didn't help matters.

Speaking of the exposition, I think the story would've been better if those paragraphs were either condensed or removed entirely. It takes away from the story, as reading through information dumps gets dull after a certain point, hoping that the story returns to its premise. The detail about how Gladmane, Flim, Flam, and Svengallop ended up working on the rock farm felt weird, especially when it comes to FlIm and Flam. Those two are con artists and have been chased out of town before, as some of their episodes have shown. I doubt they'd be in so much trouble to where they took the first job they saw, as they'd probably be figuring out their next scheme to get rich. It's a small detail in the grand scheme of things, but enough to shake my suspension of disbelief given what we know of the two.

However, what took me out of the story most of all was how Spitfire was depicted. The problem is that her implementation feels like the story needing an antagonist, and going for the one pony that has been written as unnaturally cruel to make Soarin-centric ships work. Spitfire isn't the kindest pony, I'll give you that, but the way she treats Soarin lines up with most stories that use this cliche. This specific issue is common enough to where it's mentioned in MLP's entry for the Ron the Death Eater trope. The justification for her behavior in this story is clearly based on how she was the main antagonist in Rainbow Falls, but the problem is that she actually learns her lesson at the end of the episode.

Spitfire: Huh. Rainbow Dash, you are something. Saw it at the Academy, seeing it again here. We could learn a lot from a competitor like you.
Fleetfoot: Think we already have.
Spitfire: Ready to fly?
Soarin: Really?
Spitfire: Never should've lied and tried to replace you to begin with.
Soarin: [gasps] Go, Cloudsdale!

That doesn't sound like this story's version of Spitfire, who basically lashes out at Soarin over a mere proposal. Also, Spitfire has been nice at times, even if they're usually for smaller scenes, which makes this version of her an even harder pill to swallow. Based on this story's other comments, this element seems to get worse in later chapters, which is why I'm not exactly enthused to continue reading the story. I'm not much of a Spitfire fan, but seeing her written this way takes me out of the story, and that coupled with Limestone's rudeness in the first chapter is why this story just didn't work for me.

Lastly, I should mention that you clearly have a penchant for writing, as the first two paragraphs were beautiful, and I hope you keep writing stories and improving.

Darn ponies with their predestination and all that.

8233931
Oh, that's easy Limestone is just awesome. :rainbowdetermined2:

8234534
dont let her catch you saying that she may just deck you XD

hnnng this hooked me from the start with its interesting personality's and is cool no fat story, man it was just so great that i want more now especially after that ending.

Well done bro.

Limestone is kind of hot.

I like what I like plain as simple.

"It's fine," Soarin said. "We call you dirt-muzzles sometimes. Not a big deal. At least, not with me."

Was that a petname?!

What do you think of Maud and Spike chosen by the Chosening Stone?

I personally like Limestone Pie and Lemon Hearts as best Limestone ship (lemon lime). But this was cute. Would love to see married life with these two.

"You're being selfish! I'm supposed to drop everything for you, am I? I have to be tied down for your fantasy family?"

Pots and kettles there, Spitfire.

This is a really great story. I would've liked more chapters before the ending, but I understand the rush of contest deadlines!

Marble's first letter from Canterlot University came just a few days ago. Apparently, she was taking this course called Gender Studies.

Oh no.

I kinda wish there was more to the ending, but it was good regardless. Cute, and I hope they have enough heirs to satisfy Limestone.

And they both lived happily ever after...

Ok, Soarin died in bed at the comparatively early age of sixty five and he was missed by his wife and their twenty three foals. :fluttercry:

The cause of death was a crushed pelvis. :rainbowhuh:

His last words were "Totally worth it!" :pinkiehappy:

Limestone was debating pressing versus the stocks with her father when a bizzare and new idea struck her: make the unicorn work as punishment.

Pressing charges maybe?

"Did you idiots dig up another balor? I told you to watch out for the smell of Sulfur!"

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
Was sulfur meant to be capitalized?


I would have been very impressed if you'd been able to link this into Upheaval somehow.

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