Twilight asks Zecora why she rhymes.

Have you ever heard strange voices in your head? Have you ever felt like your life is being observed or controlled by some omnipotent being? Twilight Sparkle has, and it's driving her up a wall; the FOURTH wall! Watch the hilarity ensue as Twilight hears the soothingly manly voice of yours truly!

Everypony knows the stories of Twilight Sparkle's adventures with the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Their heroism in cleansing Princess Luna of the Nightmare, their courage in facing Discord and his anarchy, their resolve to help Ponyville face its many disasters. What everypony doesn't know is that none of those stories ever happened.

This is Big Macintosh's story. And it is true.

This story is a sequel to Cool Story Bro, But It Needs More... Ponies?

Gosh dang it, Angela!

I finally ask the girl I'm crushing on out on a date, and you decide to turn both me and her into ponies just for fun?!
What the hell has happened to my life?

Edit: Made Featured Box June 9th, 2014. (Woot! Woot!)

Oh, you had a bad day at high school?
A couple of douches duct tape your car to a light pole in the parking lot?
Phht, that's nothin'.
Buddy, just kick back, relax, and let me tell you what happens when friends experiment with witchcraft on you.

It all started with the mane... My mane.

Rated Teen for an occasional cuss here or there.

This story is a sequel to If You Came to Conquer

Princess Nightmare Moon had tried to keep it secret. She had suppressed her power, feigned ignorance, played the outdated fool at every opportunity. She should have known that something like this would happen. A threat that would reveal her, whether she played dumb or not.

If she had to reveal herself, then at least she could protect Equestria in the process. She nocked the arrow. The bow felt so flimsy, but she could not risk him absorbing a spell. She laced magic across the arrow and the string and the air, enough to make it fly faster and aim smoother. She sighted him easily; Tirek was a large target. Now he only had to turn around. An arrow to the spine would kill him simply and instantly, no matter how much magic he had absorbed.

Once he was dead, the hard part would come: explaining herself to Celestia.

Prereading thanks; Meta Four, Blank!, Yami Vizzini, and especially Craine

Russian translation by Doof
Chinese Translation by Dreams Set Free

Comments contain spoilers.

Nightmare Moon won. She defeated Celestia, broke the Elements, banished the sun. This all happened a very long time ago. So long ago, that she has had plenty of time to change her mind.

Of course, fixing our mistakes is never so simple, and never without consequences. Even with particularly potent help.

"If you came to conquer, you'll be king for a day. / But you too will deteriorate and quickly fade away."
— "No Control" by Bad Religion

A big thanks to Craine, Sorren, and Idylia for prereading and editing. If you enjoyed the story, don't forget to check out their pages.

Equestria Daily
Royal Canterlot Library (FIMfic version)
Russian translation by Doof
Chinese translation by Dreams Set Free

Kitsune Heart has done a dramatic reading of this story! Find it over here.
ObabScribbler has done a dramatic reading of this story! It includes a full cast of voice actors. Find it over here.

Comments contain spoilers.

Twilight faces the thought of immortality with her usual aplomb: falling down into a ball of misery and confusion about her role, and what she will do in the eventual absence of her friends and family.

That is, until a much older Twilight Sparkle takes the time to talk to her.

A guy buys a replica of the Pon drum from patapon on Etsy, and is sent to Equestria as the great Patapon. He then plants Mater, the Patapon tree of life, and brings the Patapon tribe to the new land. Now it is time for the Patapons to march!

A Displaced fic. Tags and characters will be added as I go on. Rated T just in case. I do not own Patapon or MLP. Also, thanks to 'DIE: Dwarf In Equestria' for the title idea.
2/1/2015 4:10 PM: Wait...... I was FEATURED!?!?! How did that happen! Thank all you readers for helping me get here! This really means a lot to me! Now, I'm going to go party! (March 26th and another feature! Thank you so very much!) (Another feature as of April 18, 2015! Thanks so much!) (Okay, I'm going to stop tracking when I got featured, but thank you all so much!.)

Or: "The Most Important Coin Flip in the History of Everything"

Celestia wakes up next to Celestia. This could change the free world forever, unless she works together to preserve the peace.

My attempt at a Random one-shot. I'm not sure if I can make anything silly and inconsequential.