PIE: Patapon In Equestria

by Runa

A-hunting we will go

Note: I've put the drum beats in bold, and the Patapon's reply in italics. Just so you know.

The night was uneventful. No attacks, no strange noises, nothing. I had nothing to do but think. We would need a stable food supply soon, as the tribe would probably start getting hungry. Shelter would also be nice. Hunting would be first priority, but I should also see if we could get some sort of shelter started. But as it was, the sun couldn't rise soon enough.

As soon as the horizon started getting light, I decided that they had slept enough. I got Meden up, to much grumbling, and gave her the job of getting the others up and getting them to Mater. So a little while later, they were all there.

"Well, what's the plan for today Great One?" Asked Meden. She was ignoring the venomous glances that the others were giving her as she spoke.

"Simple," I said, "I will lead a hunting party while you guy's build shelter." Meden raised her hand. "Yes Meden?"

"How do we build a shelter?" I shrugged and said,

"I honestly don't know much about this kind of stuff. Just do your best, okay?" Meden slumped a bit before realizing something.

"Hey! Can I head this project?" I nodded.

"Sure, why not." Everyone else glared at Meden, but kept their peace. "I will lead a hunt. We will need food soon." Celestia objected at this.

"Why do you kill to eat! It's barbaric!"

I glared at her, and said, "We are omnivores, that means we need both meat and plants to survive. Sapient creatures take priority over animals. I will not let my tribe die just because I got squeamish." She glared at me.

"You probably use that as an excuse! No civilized creature needs to eat meat! Diamond dogs are reduced by their blood lust, the Gryphons are Barbarians because of their need to kill, the Dragons are Tribal because they eat meat! In every case the meat eaters are barbarians ruled by their instincts with only the vaguest veil of civilization!" By the time Celestia finished this, Luna was hiding behind a Yaripon, I was giving her the evil eye, and the Tribe was about ready to lynch her. I spoke softly.

"Do not judge people on what they are. Remember, we saved you and have kept you safe since then. What right do you have to judge us?" She glowered at me.

"I will stay quiet for now, but I wont bow to your 'needs'." I sighed.

"I probably can't ask for more than that. Now, let's get started on our tasks." With that, the noncombat part of tribe dispersed to to their tasks. the entire tribe was giving Celestia the evil eye, though. And Luna was clinging closely to Meden, seeming scared at her sisters tirade. There were the three Yaripon's and Hatapon left in front of me. "Well," I said, " let's go hunting."

---

We came back dragging a manticore corpse.

"I wish we had a cart." one of the Yaripons grumbled.

'I'll add it to the list." I said cheerfully. We would be eating well tonight. As we approached Mater, I noticed their attempts at shelter. There were sticks and leaves everywhere, there were holes in the ground that looked half dug, and tree's that were now tilted at an odd angle. Meden noticed our approach first.

She ran over to us, saying, "How did the hunt go, great one?"

"Well, I'll skip the part before we encountered the manticore, but..." I began to recount the tale.

---

I noticed it first, as I was in front. There was a snoring sound coming from ahead of our group. I started pounding the drums.

"Pata pata pata pon!" They echoed it back as we marched forward.

"Pata pata pata pon!" I drummed again.

"Pata pata pata pon!"

"Pata pata pata pon!" I then saw it. It was a huge bat-lion-scorpion thing. It was stirring from the drumming, so I decided to attack prematurely.

"Pon pon pata pon!"

"Pon pon pata pon!"The Yaripon's hurled their spears at the thing, waking it up and ticking it off. It roared, but that had no effect on the Yaripon's.

"Pon pon pata pon!" I heard a sort of 'ching' then, and the Yaripon's yelled in harmony.

"FEVER!" The Yaripons jumped and hurled their spears at the thing quite a bit more more forcefully than before. The thing retaliated by thrusting its barbed tail at one of them. The Yaripon was knocked back, but wasn't impaled like I would expect by such a strike. I saw hat he was only bleeding slightly as he got up in time to catch my next beat.

"Pon pon pata pon!"

"Pon pon pata pon!" They hurled spears from a jump again, and we got lucky. One of the spears caught the things head, and it toppled over. I stopped, and they let out a disappointed sigh. Now we had food, but we needed to get it back.

---

And we dragged that big thing all the way back.

I then saw that Celestia was dragging Luna away, speaking around a mouthful of Luna's fer as she said, "No Luna, you shouldn't see this!"

Luna resisted as she yelled, "But I want to see! Pleeeeeeeaaaaaase Tia!"

Celestia shook her head as she said, "No Luna! It's horrifying!"

Luna protested, "No it's not!" This went on for a little while, nether of them gaining any ground. The Tribe just ignored them as I thought about interfering. I finally decided that it wouldn't be worth it and floated towards Mater.

I touched Mater, and looked at the possible Patapon's. I nearly face palmed as I noticed civilian variants. Builders, lumberjacks, wood crafters and more. Getting some of these would make things much easier.

"Meden!" I yelled.

"Yes, great one?" I heard.

"Get me a hat, a stone, and a stick."

"Alright, great one." She brought it over quickly. She glanced to the disturbed earth at Mater's roots, and said. "I'm not doing that again."

"You will." I said. She harrumphed, but started doing as I asked. Soon enough, Mater shone, and a new Patapon was born. It was a variant that was labeled a Shaberupon. It had a shovel, and would make digging much faster.

"Get him ready to dig at Maters root's, alright?" I asked Meden. She nodded, looking overjoyed as she ran to the new Patapon. I then noticed that the sun was getting low in the sky, but I wanted a fire to cook the lion-bat-scorpion thing over. So I touched Mater again, and looked for a Patapon that would be appropriate. I found the Kasaipon, who does everything fire related. I called to Meden again.

"Meden, could you please get me a hat, the largest stick that you can get, and two smaller sticks." She looked annoyed at being interrupted, but complied. Soon, I had the Kasaipon maintaining a fire and the Yaripon's dragging the raw meat to the fire. But I noticed a distinct lack of our guests, so I left my Patapon's to it.

I found Luna trying to get away from her sister, saying, "But Tia, I want to see what they're doing!"

"No you don't Lulu. Just stay over here."

"But Tiiiaaaaaa!" Celestia snapped.

"NO LUNA!" She calmed down a little, saying. "You shouldn't see what those barbarians are doing! They're cooking meat to eat!"

"Why are you such a meany! They already told us why! Saying something like that is like saying..... I don't know, but I don't like how your treating them!" Celestia seemed to growl a little as Luna said that.

"Why are you being such an Idiot!"

"Why are you being such a meany!" They just stood there for a moment, glaring at each other. I didn't want to get involved, so I backed away before they could spot me. I went back to the campfire, and saw to my amusement that they were roasting bits of the scorpion-bat-lion thing over the fire like marshmallows.

I spoke up. "Once you eat your fill, go to sleep. You guy's need all the rest you can get for tomorrow." They all jumped up and spun to face me. One even dropped his food into the fire.

Meden stepped forward and said, "As you wish, great one." We just stood there for a moment before I got the fact that I was not welcome in their companionship. So I just drifted off into the forest. I was careful not to stray too far though. I mostly just wandered until I heard the ironically loud noise of people going to bed. But even then I just watched from a distance. I didn't want to disturb the warm companionship that was growing in the tribe. I was starting to understand what it meant to be a god. I stayed like that the rest of the night, paralyzed mentally in my own solitude.

Author's Note:

Well, it's done. Sorry for it being late. I feel bad right now. I feel that I should have written 2000 words to make up for the two, almost three, day's that it's late. But on to other matters! I might have to add the Slice of Life tag soon at the rate I'm going. And I generally dislike reading Slice of Life fics. I have enough of real life as it is.

Also, any suggestions on how to improve my writing would be appreciated, as would any constructive criticism about my story in general. So anything like that, or if you just want to chat, (Hey, that rhymed!) put it down below.

Comments

[Kris The Kris]

Yeah, Celestia is kind of a jerk in this chapter but I understand where's she's coming from.

It's not that she's wrong, it's that she hasn't experienced a lot of the world yet.

[Runa]

5498334 Yah, thats what I was going for.

5498398 Chika Chika pata pon! Don don Chika chika!

5498452 I've already dropped a few hints. Let's see if you can figure it out.

[Kris The Kris]

5499839
Hurray for believable extremists!

[Runa]

5502601 Oh, you said what TYPE. I meant who it will be. Sorry about that. I also suppose that I will need to come up with new types based on the hero... But still, sorry about that.

[ButtonMash]

Get the don drum and rain juju. Then it's Centura time, bitches.

[Grankuwaga]

I've been wondering but how does he look? Just a human shape out lined form like the 'God' of FMA?