Princess Celestia has inspired many writers, artists and poets over her centuries as both ruler and Princess of the Sun. Now she invites one pony to do a special task for her.

A tale of poetry, pornography, puns, printing presses and pretty pony princesses.

Audiobook by Illya Leonov, ft Luna Farrowe and Shadow of Cygnus

Cover image by Linnpuzzle
Edited by Solstice Shimmer and BaeroRemedy.
Special thanks to Dr Bethan Tovey for help with the Old English.

“How is it that gems like these are always hidden so deep? I love your poetry, can't get enough of it.”

— SillyMare

“This is just really stellar, I hope everyone checks it out.”

— PresentPerfect

“A concept which in the hands of just about anyone would have become empty prurience is instead warm and brilliant and funny and just lovely.”

— GhostOfHeraclitus

There's a crime wave gripping the sleepy town of Apple-Morepone, and nopony on the City Watch seems to care. Corporal "Rainbow" M. Dash naps through her patrols, her partner Dobby is an infamous kleptomaniac, Captain Rhymes is a drunkard, and the entire Watch is a group of burnt-out misfits.

They're about to meet a batpony (adopted) by the name of Carrot, visiting town to return an overdue library book.

And none of their lives will ever be the same.

A crossover/homage to the "City Watch" books of Terry Pratchett's Discworld, written to be readable without any familiarity with the series (though they're excellent, and if you do read them you'll catch my Pratchett in-jokes).

Winner of Aragon's "Comedy Is Serious Business" Contest! "I was quoting this offline for days, forgetting where I was remembering the lines from. … This story made me legitimately jealous, both of its cleverness and of its funniness." –Contest judge MrNumbers

Rated ★★★★★ by Louder Yay! "The best comedy I've read in a long time."

"Highly Recommended" by Super Trampoline! (Video review here @ 09:17) "It's 13,000 words long, but it doesn't feel long, because so much fun stuff is happening."

Reviewed by Ghost Mike! "It features meticulously laboured-over prose, rhyming with actual metre for Zecora, perfectly-timed jokes and reveals that are often outrageous, a sneakily clever plot and character investment that works its magic throughout ... This is a phenomenally executed piece of work."

Other reviews: Present Perfect | City of Doors

Thank you to Themaskedferret and Caliaponia for prereading, and GaPJaxie for motivation/inspiration!

Twilight Sparkle's long journey had been aimless. Formless. A search for something she could not, or would not name. Her living, singing ship had plied the void for so long with no destination in sight.

But everything is different now. This is a mission of mercy.

Thank you to TheMaskedFerret for her help, and for being a friend when I needed one. And for ScarletWeather, who also read this and is also very good.
Cover Art from the animated "Echoes of the Past". Watch.

Hy•per•por•ten•tia noun \hī-pər-pȯr-ˌten-t(ē-)ə\
1. congenital fate disorder where the affected receives a disproportionate number of visions, prophecies, or warnings of the future directed at them.
2. severe pain in the butt.

It's common knowledge among ponies that Destiny is a natural occurrence. Much like a pony’s body, it grows and develops over time. Each pony’s Destiny is as unique and distinctive as their voice. The phenomenon manifests in the physical realm through the appearance of a cutie mark.

Unfortunately, like all natural occurrences, sometimes there's something off. A misplaced gene here, an excess chemical there, and what was supposed to be true Destiny becomes... aggravating.

So it is with Acacia Tree, the first seer Manehattan has seen in five-hundred years.

The concept for this story was submitted to The Idea Exchange group by GreyNoise. This group is a place to share story ideas you want to see written, but for one reason or another will not write yourself. Check it out!

Miss Cheerilee has always looked out for her former pupil, Pinkamena Diane Pie ("Pinkie" to her friends).

Hooves must always (always) look after his current employer, Roland Bertram Aethelnoth Whickers the Third, Viscount Astley ("Bertie" to his friends).

But when Bertie met Pinkie, something happened that neither the schoolteacher nor the butler had looked for.

Art: Giorgio de Chirico, "Oriental Horses"

It's been a long time since Adagio Dazzle lost her powers but she never lost her drive. In a small town far away from Canterlot High, she and her onetime rival Trixie share an apartment and make a tough living together off odd jobs, street racing, and Trixie's magic act. She hasn't thought about the other Dazzlings for years, but one summer night, Aria Blaze turns up on their doorstep with shocking news.

Basically a product of my rampant Ameriphilia. A little piece about independence and self-discovery.

In a nearly empty library, a librarian tears pages out of books and tosses them out an open window.

Twilight studies in the same library, alone.

They exchange words and a dance.

Obiter dicta -- things said in passing.

A collection of short stories, vignettes, and delete scenes, mostly based in the Civil Serviceverse and tending to be either slice of life or comedy. Also contains contest entries including FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns.

Currently contains:

1. An Afternoon For Dotted Line [slice of life] [comedy]
2. The Game The Princesses Play [comedy]
3. On the Inaccuracy of Proverbs [slice of life] [comedy][sad]
4. The Nature of War [history]
5. On Forensic Accounting & Choral Singing [comedy]
6. Hoofprints [human][sad]
7. Dr. Spinning Top—Specimen Annotated Daily Schedule [slice of life]
8. Love and Other Acquired Tastes [comedy][sad]
9. Any Other Business? [comedy]
10. Songs Like Snow [romance]
11. Civics [comedy]
12. The Other Princess [slice of life] [comedy]

Equestria is broken. An army is marching on Canterlot, and the city is alive with fire and the sounds of battle.

And when all hope seems lost, a dying Celestia is given one last choice.

Featured by the Royal Guard on 24th January, 2014!

Special thanks to Craine for help with suggestions and pre-reading.
Title shamelessly stolen from this awesome song.
Thanks to Sandara for the epic art.

In the wake of the Canterlot Wedding, Fluttershy has to ask Twilight a very difficult question.

Now available in spanish! Spinoff stories can be found in Would It Matter If I Made This Group?

Now with a TVTropes page.