It's a beautiful day in the city of Cantershot, and Princess Killestia isn't taking Twifight Sparkill's suspicions seriously. How is she supposed to defeat an Ancient Good if she has to travel to Ponykill to make more minions? All the ponies there are crazy! And who is this strange creature with mismatched limbs that keeps trying to interfere with Spike's day?

This is a crackfic. It is a crackfic I have taken way too seriously. Please don't read into the crackfic, it's entirely an excuse to come up with a bunch of super edgy pony name substitutions.

Edit: Now with an excellent reading by Skijarama!

James is good friends with a couple of ponies.

James is not aware that he has a disorder.

Inspired by Admiral Biscuit's writing challenge.

Do you ever regret things you did in the past? Whether it was accidentally insulting someone, or waging war against a concept with chocolate rain and licorice trees? Well, Discord doesn’t “regret” it, but he can admit he made a mistake or two.

But his past certainly disagrees.

Audio Readings.
Read by StraightToThePointStudio
Read by Pony&Wolf Productions

After the debacle of the Storm King's short-lived invasion and the fall of Canterlot, the former attacker, Fizzlepop Berrytwist (Commander Tempest Shadow), muses that the princesses' ability to fight was sorely lacking. Considering that she pretty much took them all down in seconds.

In order to prevent such an abysmal display in the future she has, through a few contacts around Princess Twilight, recruited the aid of a combat master who should be able to teach four princesses avoid such embarrassments in the future...

...Or kill them trying.

Walter, human who has a door in his house that just-so happens to lead into Canterlot castle, is popping around for a cup of sugar. Little does he know that his judgement is about to called upon in a way he would never have expected...