• Member Since 4th May, 2017
  • offline last seen 47 minutes ago

Cackling Moron


"Fluff" in the same way what collects under the sofa is fluff.

T

Walter, human who has a door in his house that just-so happens to lead into Canterlot castle, is popping around for a cup of sugar. Little does he know that his judgement is about to called upon in a way he would never have expected...

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 33 )

The title sounds like a bad, British sex-farce play, the sort that I can envision running for one week in 1972. Well done.

And then each princess tries to set Walter up with the princess they thought he preferred.

I'm Royally confused. :applejackconfused:

I'll give it a go, Walter.

Cadence, Twilight Sparkle, Luna, and Celestia. In that order.

You're all pretty girls!

*whispers* "But you're the best Twilight."

11159971
this was the most specific description i had seen, good job

You know you're doing something right when the words "Painfully stupid" can be used as a complement.

Bottoms?

I swear that thing cracked me up

Hey, you sass that hoopy Walter? There's a frood who really knows where his cup is.

A benefit of having the door under the stairs inexplicably, inextricably linked with some sort of magical pony palace was that it was incredibly easy to pop across if you needed to, say, hypothetically, borrow a cup of sugar.

Ah nostalgia. For a scenario in a book series obviously, not the whole other dimension under the stairs thing.

11159971
Funny enough that is more or less exactly what it is. A British sex-farce play, (grumpy princess pony edition of course).

11159971

11160394

Carry On Up a Horse's Bottom.

...wait, that's gross.

That's just the problem with questions like those. You refuse to answer. Absolutely, under any circumstances, refuse to answer.

But then you put some distance between yourself and the nut jobs hounding you. And then a little time passes, and that's when the wondering starts. "Hypothetically, if I were to rank them, how would I do it?"

How indeed....

Biased toward not having three princesses cross with him, I should think. Truly harrowing.

The author is of course portraying a reinterpretation of the classical 'Judgement of Paris', in which the Greek mortal is asked to rate the beauty of several goddesses.
As such this is a deep philosophical statement about fairness and bias and is in no way about the parading of big-bootied assets, no sir.

11160430
Yet oddly reflective of their actual titles.

ROBCakeran53
Moderator

Poor Walter. He will have to bring it up in the next WALC meeting, maybe get some others inputs.

Reaching it, he fumbled for his knob in panic, gripped it firmly and, with a strong twist, granted himself release.

You couldn't resist could you? :facehoof: Lucky guy, he got to escape, now he just has to stay in that room for a few weeks and everything will be fine...right?

11161019
Speaking from experience a firm twist is unlikely to result in relief. Another action may be required.

And yes he's safe. Perfectly safe...

11160637
They're an objective group, they'd know.

11160531

There is actually a real answer to this one. What you need is a magical spell so they do not remember WHO made the unbiased decision, only that it was unbiased.

Wow, Dave Edmunds sang about this story 40 years ago, at the 1:42 mark!

11161281
I get all my story ideas (and titles) from the 1:42 mark of Dave Edmunds songs. If you look through my back catalogue knowing this it'll seem really obvious in hindsight.

11161288
Damn, shitpost game recognize shitpost game.

“How would I rank them…?”

I do believe this requires significant research and study, a veritable lifetime even. Needs plenty of studies and samples to ensure that the results are statistically significant. This is a serious issue and not something to be taken lightly. You could even say it it is a fundamental choice.

Also all this talk of bums, bottoms, and booties, and not one mention of Queen? For shame!
:derpytongue2:

(Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls)

see now THIS is when walter white became heisenburg

Wonder what his therapist will make of this situation.
Walter: "4 pony princesses that live in the closet under my stairs want me to review their rear ends. What do I do?"
Therapist: "Get sugar from somewhere else?"
Also I'd rate Luna at the top. :)

11161549
Considering two are sisters and the other two are inlaws, maybe this version is more spot on.

Bottoms?” Walter asked himself,

Hmm regarding ponies.... it's not a bottom, it's more a behind ^^;;;

11181393
The Permanente Vertical Smile! :pinkiehappy:

Poor poor Walter, he just wanted to get his daily dose of Tea with Sugar from the Princesses, and what does he get? being in a hot pursuit from the 4 only existing Alicorns that want to have him choose who was the best butt without knowing that it's all based on preference, BUT THEY HAVE TO TAKE THE ONLY AVAILABLE HUMAN WHO IS IMPARTIAL AND UNBIASED WOAH!!! Well if you ask me i would definetly say, no preference, all are amazing because i don't want to get killed by the last 3 incase i choose just 1

11161549
There's also Sir Mix-A-Lot's iconic hit "Baby Got Back", which most people know for the line "I like big butts and I cannot lie".

“I’m not neutral, I’m biased! Horribly, horribly biased!”

You idiot :facehoof:

Login or register to comment