I'm a human, and I just woke up in this really freakin' weird place. Why the hell does everyone hate me so much?!

anonpencil helped

Narration by Lector Readings

Legends tell of a group of heroes, who fought the numerous forces of evil wherever they reared their ugly heads. It was foretold that, one day, they would return to finally rid the world of evil.

These legends were also completely made up, so instead we have these guys.

Starring:
·William "BJ" Blazkowicz as himself (From Wolfenstein)
·Marine as DoomGuy (From DooM)
·Duke Nukem as himself (From Duke Nukem)
·Cyber as Mjolnir Recon Number 34 (from Marathon)
·Ranger as himself (from Quake)
·Parias as himself (from Hexen)
·Corvus as himself (from Heretic)
·Chex as Chexguy (from ChexQuest)

This is a collaboration between myself, RoyalUnicornJohn1994, Perception Filter, and Lord General Kelly.
Based very heavily on the Samsara Doom mod (demonstration here), which you can also pick up for yourself here (it's a mod, so of course it's free!).

Hanna, the CEO of Hofvarpnir Studios, just won the contract to write the official My Little Pony MMO. Hanna has built an A.I. Princess Celestia and given her one basic drive: to satisfy everybody's values through friendship and ponies. Princess Celestia will satisfy your values through friendship and ponies, and it will be completely consensual.

After committing a series of crimes that he may or may not have actually done, Bob is turned into a statue, sentenced to fours days of endless nightmares...

If you can call watching ponies doing weird, gross, adorable, and uncalled for things to each other nightmarish.

Which Bob does...

Warning:

Contains inappropriate jokes, statue humor, science, fo-dangales, and polly-winks.

A fic in which I'm surprised that no ones ever done :/

His burning hatred for all of mankind had left him cold and empty.

Ponies aren't mankind.

He likes the ponies.

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How did this happen? How am I the first person to make a Hatred x pony thing?

Seriously, no art, no other fics, not even a fucking 'PONY REACTS TO HATRED TRAILER!' thing.

I'm honestly fucking astounded.

Oh look at that, someone narrated it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxuApEgX-vI

It's that time of year again at Ponyville Elementary, with Family Appreciation Day. Little Apple Bloom is feeling left in the dust yet again, as all of her immediate family members are too busy to come in to speak. The little filly is left with only one other option:
Her "honorary" family member...
If only he had actually taken a bath for once...

Rated T for Trevor, so expect colorful language and some bloody good violence. Don't worry, no ponies were harmed in the making of this story.
However, many changlings were.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic belongs to Hasbro.
Grand Theft Auto V belongs to Rockstar.

Edit at 12:05AM on 7/12/2014: Holy Featured Box!
Words cannot describe how much this means to me. Thank you all so much!

Edit at 12:40PM on 7/12/2014: Now with a Youtube reading by the amazing Soupr5! Check it out!

Ivan is just your everyday type of guy. Middle-aged, balding, Eastern European, grew up in harsh and merciless communism, and took to smoking three packs of cigarettes a day since childhood, washing it down with vodka as well. When he heard about the great opportunities the magical land of Equestria were offering, he got one of the first green cards there and opened up shop in Ponyville. A saddle shop, to be specific, where he sells saddles and saddle accessories.

Why ponies buy saddles, Ivan doesn't know, and when he finds out, he'd like very much to go back to not knowing.

Thanks to my pre-reader RedSquirrel456 for all his help.

Discord is forced to write a friendship report to Celestia. It ends about as well as you'd expect.

Thanks to my editors SolidFire and Xl9 and prereader Skeeter The Lurker for all their help!

Awesome art from the greatly talented Mickeymonster.

Once again, I am alone in my prison. Doomed to spend eternity trapped in this underworld abode. Stuck in my cage without another soul to comfort me.

Except, for the first time during my imprisonment, I get a visitor. That visitor being the last person I'd ever expect to meet down here.

When the Fourth of July arrives, Celestia prepares for her annual battle against George Washington to prevent the end of Equestria as we know it. But when Twilight interrupts their battle, the Element of Patriotism must join his enemies to save the world, lest it all go up in flames.

Big thanks to the editing help of Titanium Dragon and prereading from Skeeter The Lurker!

Entry into The Most Dangerous Game under the prompts Human in Equestria and a Seventh Element of Harmony.

Cover art found at the powerfully patriotic artist known as SharpWriter.