Fourth of July. Just any other date on the calendar for any typical pony. Stuck in the middle of the summer just like any other day with absolutely no significance. But for Celestia, it was different. For her, this day meant more than anything in the entire world. Since, well, all things considered, it could very well end the world as we know it.
So, to prepare, Celestia adjusted the buckles on her armor and made sure it was tight. A bit too tight around the thigh and rear end area, perhaps from an over-consumption of sweets without rigorous exercise taken into consideration, but it would do. There was always resizing, which in retrospect was easier than working out in the first place.
Staring at herself in the mirror, Celestia smirked. Golden armor polished to a glimmering sheen, her mane was neatly tucked into her helmet, and her coat was freshly washed and brushed to a healthy glow. Of course, this was all going to change with her being covered in grit and blood in only a few short hours, but hot damn did she look fine!
Luna passed by Celestia’s room in an easy-going trot, nonchalantly glancing inside and taking note of Celestia appreciating her own reflection. Smiling snidely, Luna lurked closely until she was directly behind her sister. “So, sister, you out on a hot date tonight?”
“If a date with death itself is considered hot, then sure,” Celestia replied without breaking stride. She grabbed her sword with her magic from her nightstand table and removed the blade from its scabbard. The blade reflected the faint light from the room in a beautiful imitation of a rainbow, its double edges sharpened to a fine point that it cut through the air itself when she took a swing—literally cut air molecules in half. Satisfied, she sheathed her sword and attached it to her side. “It is the fourth of July, after all.”
Luna’s snide smile quickly shattered, her eyes widening considerably as her pupils retracted to tiny pinpricks. “Wait, today is that day? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
“All things considered, I’d think you of all ponies would have remembered it.”
Luna groaned. “I’ve been trapped on the moon for the past thousand years and I work night shift! Of course I don’t know the specific date all the time!”
“Then buy a calendar.”
“Forget it. I have bigger problems to deal with.” Luna walked back to the door, stopped, then turned back to Celestia and asked, “You remember where my space helmet is?”
“I think you left it in the laundry room, last time I checked.”
“Thanks!” Luna trotted away from the doorway, only to reappear a moment later, sticking her head back inside. “Oh, and Twilight arrived sometime earlier. Wanted to know where you were.”
Celestia blinked, breaking away from the stunning figure reflected in the mirror to face her sister. “Wait, why?”
“Apparently another princess issue,” Luna said, turning tail right away. “Good luck with preventing the end of the world! I hope you’re still alive!”
“Damnit. I gave her that princess title so that she wouldn’t have to bug me with letters all the time. And then her own damn castle so she’d have others to pester.” Celestia sighed, feeling the telltale signs of anxiety creep up her spine at the mere mention of Twilight arriving shortly. “Okay, Celestia, just relax. It’s just your best student and newly appointed princess coming over for a short chat. I’m sure I can answer whatever question she has before I’m needed to prevent the apocalypse.”
"Princess Celestia!" Twilight shouted as she burst into the room. "I have an emergency on my hooves and I desperately need your help!"
"Join the club, Twilight." Celestia paused, as if in thought. "Wait, you already did."
Twilight stared up at her blankly, tilting her head slightly.
"Because of... the wings... princess..." Celestia sighed. "Never mind. There’s a reason the Element of Laughter was never my forte. What can I do for you, Twilight?”
“Well, I was going to ask something essential for the runnings of my kingdom to its topmost performance, but now I’m wondering why you’re dressed in armor?” Twilight glanced furtively around the room, backing away slowly. “Did I… interrupt something private?”
Celestia smiled fondly. “What ever do you mean?”
Twilight shrugged, a slight blush appearing on her cheeks. “Well, usually when you’re dressed like that it’s either for combat or some weird type of foreplay.”
Celestia's smile vanished, quickly replaced with a frown. “I beg your pardon?”
“I’ve only heard about it myself—maybe read about it from a few sources—but it does typically involve roleplaying in a costume of some sort and then enacting in debaucherous behavior with a significant other.” Twilight’s eyes scanned the room once more. “I’m just wondering where the ‘significant other’ is. Unless this is a chiefly solitary affair, which is also not too unusual and from what I’ve heard can help stimulate—”
“Twilight, please stop telling me about the articles you read in Playcolt,” Celestia said, her face fully enveloped in her hooves.
“Hey, I only read that magazine for the—oh, right, the articles.” Twilight coughed into her hoof, the awkward silence in the air hanging like a fog that slowly choked the room’s occupants in uncomfortableness.
“So… princess emergency?” Celestia asked, shattering the silence like a brick through a glass jaw.
“Oh, yeah, right, princess emergency.” Twilight stood up straighter. “Princess Celestia, how does one go about enacting a book tax?”
“Book tax?”
“Well, ever since the library got blown up, I’ve had to use my own funds on starting a new library in the castle. Unfortunately, books are very expensive, and the ones I do buy are quickly destroyed by the citizenry. Pages torn out, books dipped into spaghetti sauce, jam used as bookmarks! I don’t even know why they thought that was practical, but they did it anyhow!” Twilight’s smile grew to incredibly large sizes, along with her eyes, taking over half her face. “So… I was just wondering if it’d be possible to institute a tax on handling books?”
“Let me be clear on this: you want the crown to charge bits each time a pony touches a book?” Celestia asked.
Twilight nodded, her eyes positively sparkling with eagerness. “Books are to be treasured and loved. Whoever harms them deserves the strictest of punishments. Like being sent to Tartarus.” Twilight frowned momentarily and huffed under her breath. “But my friends said that’d only lead to a massive civil revolt. So taxing is the next best thing.”
“Um…” Celestia looked out her window, noting the sun sinking towards the horizon. She sighed to herself. Normally, this wasn't a problem; if she needed an extra five minutes of sleep in the morning—or fifteen minutes on occasion, with the odd half or full hour, and the rare six hour snooze after a particularly taxing day—holding back the sun would do little to avert this catastrophe. “Twilight, would you mind if we do a rain check on this? I have more pressing matters to deal with currently.”
“Does this have to do why you’re dressed up to enact in carnal activities?” Twilight asked.
“No, this has nothing to do with that!”
“Oh, so this is for after those pressing matters?”
Celestia groaned. “No, yes, just… I need this armor to deal with those pressing matters that are not of any sexual nature at all.”
“Oooh, can I help?” Twilight asked eagerly.
“Sorry to say, Twilight, but you cannot.” Celestia stepped forward to strike a pose in front of the window, her horn glowing for a moment to adjust the sun so that its rays shimmered off her armor dramatically. “For my duty right now is a yearly event of the utmost importance that only I can handle, lest the world itself ends.”
Twilight’s ears drooped and her head was downcast. “Aww, but I saved the world a bunch of times. Like… I’m pretty sure around three or four, maybe five.”
“It definitely wasn’t five.” Celestia bent down to pat her on the head, but then thought better of it and transitioned into a reassuring hug. “And don’t you worry. I’ll be back by tonight, unless I perish and all live in the world is extinguished.”
“That’s not exactly reassuring,” Twilight muttered, staring down at her hooves.
“It just needs to distract you long enough for me to escape through this window,” Celestia said, already jumping into the twilight sky with her wings unfurled. “Don’t wait up for me!”
Twilight approached the window, standing there and watching as Celestia flew upwards, disappearing into the clouds above. Twilight hummed to herself for a moment before smirking, gathering herself before springing out the window after her mentor, her wings spread regally... only to nearly crash into the ground as she rapidly began to sink down towards it, flapping her wings and rather spoiling the effect as she struggled up into the sky after the elder princess.