So it turns out ponies like to race cars around sometimes.

Except none of them know about drifting.

This will not stand.

Derpy resolves to better focus on her mailmare duties after her latest performance review.

You are Anon, a human living in Equestria. Your good friend Rarity has suggested, or rather forced you, to work at the Ponyville Day Spa as a masseuse. This won't get awkward, right? Right? Right?!

While working on a spell to see if Pinkie and Applejack are related, Twilight discovers that she has a little sister: Scootaloo! But how is this possible? And, more importantly, how will this affect them?

Featured 11/6/17

Anon shaves his head. The ponies think he has cancer. What could possibly happen?

Edited/Proofread by Enigmatic Otaku and Vylon

Narrated by Straight To The Point Studio

Anon's dead, apparently, and Death has come to claim his soul. There's just one problem: he doesn't want to go. And there's nothing Death can do to make him.

Anonymous is not from Equestria, he'd never even heard of it before he crashed. But looking around he sees things he shouldn't. Despair, resignation, sadness. No life form, however big or small should be forced to live that way, so Anonymous and his new friend set out to bring hope back to the kingdom no matter the odds, alone if they have to.

The Mane Six have a problem with Anon. He never sings or dances along with their songs! They resolve themselves to deal with this problem once and for all.

Proofread and Completely Fixed by RobCakeRan53, Vengeful Spirit (Socks), Flammenwerfer, Cynewulf, Distored Flare, The Abyss, Majin Syeekoh, Daemon of Decay

Horns are a dangerous weapon. You can't just wave it around and use it willy-nilly. You need to be careful. You must use your horn safely. Anon goes on a journey to ensure that horns in Ponyville are properly protected.

Written for The Barcast
Spanish Translation by Spaniard Kiwi

This story is contained in my book "Dash Tries to Win Your Heart and Other Short Pony Stories"

If you have interest in purchasing this non-profit book, check out my online store at this link: https://www.lulu.com/search?adult_audience_rating=00&q=flutterpriest

This story is a sequel to Pirate Hats and Whatnot

Time flows on, the seasons change, and Anon continues to acclimate to his new life in a bizarre land of marshmallow horses. Thankfully, even in such a strange world, there are still some familiar truths he can depend on. The sun will rise in the east each day, the bare trees will soon be covered by brilliant green leaves, and the songbirds will return to the forest near his home at the first hint of spring...

Yes, even in a new world, there are certainties. And though he may not yet realize it, the fact that he lives in the same town as a particular pink pony means his latest plan to catch fish is most certainly going to be interrupted.