The Truth Revealed
“Thank you so much for this,” said Twilight with a large smile on her face. It was late in the day on Sunday, close to the time when Celestia would begin lowering the sun. The Princess of Friendship was in her library, seated in one of her large chairs while sipping on some tea as the faint smells of tonight’s dinner lingered into the room. From the smell of it, Spike was hard at work making another healthy meal for them in case Zecora’s cure was only temporary.
“It’s not a problem Twilight,” said Lyra who was seated on a loveseat across from her with a small crystal table littered with fancy snacks and tea separating them. Next to the mint colored unicorn was Bon-Bon who was nodding in agreement. “I mean, we’ve known each other ever since we were in school in Canterlot. Just let me know whenever you have to go out to do your world saving thing and we’ll come over here to keep an eye on Scootaloo. No problem!”
Twilight relaxed a bit as she set down her tea cup. “You have no idea how much of a load off my mind this is,” she said happily. “I must have spent hours trying to think of somepony who would be able to do this. Now all I need to do are a few more things Mr. Bubbles mentioned and I should be prepared for the next inspection. Hopefully he won’t blame me for what happened at the hospital.”
Bon-Bon gave the princess a light smile as Lyra looked thoughtful. “Well maybe he won’t find out,” said the earth pony. “Even if he does find out, Scootaloo was under the care and supervision of the hospital at the time. So I don’t think you have anything to worry about, especially given the fact that you were the one who went out to find her.”
“Mr. Bubbles,” muttered Lyra. “I could have sworn I’ve heard that name before.” Her eyes then suddenly lit up as she turned to look at her friend. “Hey, didn’t we have a stallion stop by yesterday with a cutie mark that looked like a-”
“Oh wow,” said Bon-Bon as she grabbed Lyra while also placing a hoof over the unicorn’s mouth. “Just look at the time! We’d better get going home!” Then at a speed that would make Rainbow Dash proud, Bon-Bon ran off with her friend out the door. As they ran, Twilight could still hear Lyra trying to talk through the other mare’s hoof until the sound of the castle door slamming shut echoed down the halls.
“Huh,” said Twilight to the empty room. “That was weird.” Shrugging, Twilight left her chair before heading out of the room. As she moved the princess was happily going over a checklist in her head of some of the other concerns Mr. Bubbles had. One of the concerns Mr. Bubbles had was the fact that enemies might seek revenge on her or attack Ponyville in general. Last night, both she and Scootaloo had sat down together to discuss an emergency plan. Several actually based on where Scootaloo was during a possible attack. For example, if she was in the castle then Scootaloo was to head down to the basement until she got the all clear for either her or Spike. As an added precaution in case it was a rogue changeling or other shapeshifter, they had agreed on a code phrase that they would use to confirm each other’s identity. If ‘Twilight’ answered it wrong then Scootaloo was to either bolt out of there or remain hidden in the basement. If the attack happened while she was at school, then the filly was to head over to either Sweet Apple Acres or Zecora’s hut depending on where the chaos was occurring. Sure there were a few things to iron out, but Twilight felt certain that they could do that before Mr. Bubbles arrived. Or she could ask him for his advice.
With that as well as finding somepony to look over Scootaloo during one of their sudden trips, all that was really left to do was to better secure her lab. Sadly there was no lock smith in Ponyville who could add a lock into the crystals of her palace. The only ponies who might know how to do that were the crystal ponies, meaning she’d have to send a letter to Cadence in the near future. After the whole family drama was sorted out of course. Or maybe she could just find a directory somewhere. That could work too.
As Twilight entered the main entrance she spotted movement from the stairway. Turning her head Twilight saw that it was Scootaloo with some papers in her mouth. Twilight could see the excitement in the filly’s eyes which wasn’t a big surprise. After their heart to heart the previous day, as well as Twilight going over Scootaloo’s homework, the princess had told her little sister about the study that was going on with pegasi who were suffering from the same condition she had. After hearing there was a chance that she might be able to fly, Scootaloo was a mix between a happiness explosion and small amount of down in the dumps. Happy because of the chance to actually fly under her own power and sad because of how she had treated the mare who had gone out of her way to find this just for her. After being consoled by Twilight, Scootaloo had begun to put some extra effort into her schoolwork. She was having some problems with it, probably due to having ignored her studies for so long, but Twilight was more than willing to help her catch up.
After dropping the papers on the ground, Scootaloo looked up at Twilight with a grin. “I finally got two full pages,” she said happily.
“That’s great,” said Twilight as her horn lit up to bring to papers closer to her for a closer inspection. Quickly her eyes began to roam over what was written with a pleased smile on her face. “Well, the structure is much better but there are a few grammar issues, but all in all I’d say this is a very well written paper.” Scootaloo beamed at the praise. “How about we see if Spike needs any help preparing dinner? If he’s got everything under control then we’ll go over the issues and make a few corrections together.”
Scootaloo’s ears flattened against her skull. “I, ah, think maybe we should get to work on this now,” replied a nervous sounding Scootaloo as her eyes darted from Twilight to the door leading to the kitchen. “You know, while it’s all still fresh in my head.”
Twilight frowned slightly at this. It had been easy for her to find out that Spike had exploded on Scootaloo. Even now that she was better there was still an air of tension between the two. Scootaloo looked like she was trying to walk on eggshells whenever she got too close to Spike. Meanwhile Spike mainly ignored Scootaloo, only talking to her in short sentences whenever Twilight told him too. While it did bother Twilight to see this, a part of her believed that she shouldn’t confront them directly. There was the chance that Spike might take it for her covering for Scootaloo and only pretending to forgive her for Twilight’s sake. It would be better to give them time to cool off and allow them to work out their differences at their own pace. But that didn’t mean that Twilight was going to ignore this completely. She would make sure that if nothing happened within the next few weeks she would take matters into her own hooves. Or if Spike crossed a line. Then she would confront them directly at the same time.
Before she could say anything to Scootaloo, there was a knock on the door. “Coming,” said Twilight as she moved towards the door with Scootaloo following her. Before she made it halfway the doors suddenly burst open surprising both sisters. Standing there in the doorway was a stallion who had a light red mane and a massive chin. Standing off to the side was another stallion dressed like a servant operating a portable fan which blew onto his master. The stallion in the doorway smiled so that his teeth twinkled at the two of them.
“Ah, my beloved Princess Twilight,” said the stallion as she walked into the castle without an invitation. As he walked, the servant moved as well so that the fan would always blow into his master’s mane. “It is so wonderful to see you once again! How long has it been? Ha! I think we can both agree it has been far too long.”
Twilight blinked. “Who are you?” she asked honestly. The stallion seemed to do a double take at this, as if the mere thought of a pony not knowing him right off the bat was the most shocking thing that has ever happened in the history of the world. Whatever confidence he had vanished and he seemed to lose a good foot of his height. He almost looked wounded or hurt. Then he shook his head quickly before bringing himself back up to his former height.
“Ha ha!” he laughed before his horn began to glow. In an instant, a dozen roses appeared before him. “I suppose it has been a while since we last saw each other at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. But I shall never forget the way that you always looked at me with those beautiful, shy eyes from across our lab table. Allow me to reintroduce myself: I am Baron Casanova. This wonderful evening I have come to sweep you off your hooves into the magnificent sunset. Together we shall make the most wonderful of memories that will live in the memories of all those to come for the next thousand years.”
Twilight let out a hum as she placed a hoof on her chin. She at least now had an idea of when they had met before, but it still didn’t help much. As much as she hated to admit it, back when she was a student in Canterlot she didn’t place much emphasis on her relationships with other ponies. Heck, it wasn’t too long ago that she was confronted with that fact and needed reminders of all of her friend’s names! Still, she found it odd that Spike had never reminded her of this stallion or any other stallion when she had asked.
“Sorry,” said Twilight at last in an honest tone. She glanced next to her for a moment to look at Scootaloo who was staring at Casanova with a deadpanned expression. “I still don’t remember you. Could you give me a little hint?”
Casanova blinked. “We were partners in Princess Celestia’s advanced chemistry class and were also in the same magical theories courses for three years,” he said while leaning forwards a bit.
Starting to sweat a bit, Twilight gave him an unease grin while here highly organized brain went into overdrive looking for any information on this stallion. Naturally she remembered everything that was ever taught in those classes, her sole focus being on what they were studying. She even remembered when they got brand new text books in chemistry, blushing madly as she stared at it in her hooves and hugging it tightly before giving into her desires to open it…oooohhhhh. Had Casanova thought that she had been giving him that look? Wait, if that was the case, they why hadn’t he said anything before now? Or had he and at the time she had been too enthralled in her studies to really pay attention to her? Still, if that was the case then why come here now of all times?
Head beginning to spin slightly, Twilight nodded while still grinning like an idiot. “Oh now I remember,” she said in probably the most unconvincing tone in the history of Equestria. “Casanova. It’s been a long time. The last time I saw you was-” Suddenly something clicked in Twilight. There was one memory she was sure about regarding Casanova. “Wait, didn’t you contact me saying you would be here on Monday? Today’s Sunday.”
“With a beauty like yours I could not wait,” replied Casanova as he gave a large smile. Before Twilight knew what was happening, Casanova reached out with his hoof to take a hold of her own and kissed it loudly. “I simply had to take in your brilliance with my own eyes once more. I hope you will forgive this transgression as I take you out to some of the finest, and most romantic, restaurants in all of Canterlot followed by a small get together of some of the Canterlot elites finest.”
Twilight’s eyes darted back and forth; sweat continuing to appear on her face as she struggled to keep her friendly smile on. She had to think of a polite way of turning him down. There was no way she was going to let Princess Celestia find out she was pointedly rude to a member of the nobility! She might think that Twilight had become a snob or something of that nature. That she was failing to live up to the model that she, Princess Luna, and Cadence had set. Would Princess Celestia think Twilight was showing signs that the power of her position had begun to corrupt her? That soon she would fall into her own darkness before trying to take over Equestria? Would her friends be called in to try and stop her or would the princesses combine their power to banish her? What would happen to Spike and Scootaloo then?!
“Hey sis,” said Scootaloo suddenly, getting the attention of the rest of the ponies in the room. Both of them could see Scootaloo smiling warmly at Casanova. “How about you go get ready for your date while me and this guy spend some time together?” Twilight was about to say something, but the baron’s facial expressions caught her eye. At first he looked shocked followed by a look that was clearly annoyance. His mouth had opened; ready to say something as he pointed a hoof at the filly only to pause as a look of understanding appeared. He then smiled the same smile Twilight saw in Rarity whenever she found a great deal when shopping.
“Why that is a splendid idea,” said Casanova as he moved over to Scootaloo’s side, never noticing the filly smirking slightly. “It would be a perfect chance for us to get to know each other better.”
“But-” began Twilight holding out a hoof as the two walked towards the door leaving the princess and the baron’s servant behind.
“Princess, my servant will attend you as you ready yourself for the evening of your life,” called Casanova. Out of the corner of her eye, Twilight saw the servant roll his eyes. “While I know that you’ll look ravishing no matter what, he’ll make sure that none of the other notable ponies will find something to complain about.” With that said, Scootaloo and Casanova walked out of the castle with the door closing behind them.
Twilight stood there for a moment, wondering if she should ask Spike what she should do, when the door suddenly opened again. Twilight’s eyes budged wide and her jaw dropped as she saw Baron Casanova standing in the middle of the entrance. However, there was now a look of horror on his face as if he had just seen Tirek stomping towards him. The stallion’s coat, which had a pristine look to it, was now stained with mud as well as tree sap. His mane was also coated in these substances while also containing pine needles which stuck out in various locations. Standing next to him was a smug looking Scootaloo who didn’t have a speck of dirt on her. Calmly, Scootaloo walked away from the frozen stallion and stood next to Twilight while the servant ran back to his master.
“Casanova, what in Equestria happened to you?” asked Twilight as she took a step forward. “You were barely gone for a second!”
“I-I-I’m s-s-s-sorry P-P-Prin-n-ncess,” stammered Casanova as his body began to shake, his eyes seemingly unfocused. “I-I-I-I d-don-n’t think-k-k I-I-I ca-an keep o-o-our d-d-d-date. P-P-Pleas-se acc-ccept my ap-ap-apologizes.” With that said, Casanova began to walk away with the doors closing behind him.
Twilight instantly rounded on the still smug looking Scootaloo. “Scootaloo, what did you do to him?”
“Relax Twilight,” said Scootaloo as she sat down, waving a hoof in Twilight’s direction. “We just got to know each other a bit better, that’s all.”
“But how did he end up like that?” the princess demanded. “There aren’t any pine trees anywhere near the castle!”
“Ah” began Scootaloo as she scratched the back of her head. “I think it would be better if you didn’t ask any questions or think about this too hard Twilight. Some things are better left unknown after all. And I really don’t think he’ll ever tell anypony about what happened.”
To this, Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Have you met me before?” Despite everything, Twilight couldn’t help but allow some humor to be carried along with her voice. She took a breath in order to gain some control. “Scootaloo that was a baron. He-” At that moment, there was a knock on the castle door again.
“Heh, guess he came back for round two,” said Scootaloo with a smirk as she made her way to the door. “Tougher than he looks.” Twilight watched as Scootaloo opened the door, expecting to see a semi cleaned baron who had come back to his senses. What she did see was something that caused all the breath in her lungs to become trapped. It was a blue unicorn stallion that she had known all of her life. Her father, Night Light, was standing there looking down at Scootaloo.
The world seemed to pause in that moment. All Twilight could register was that her father was there, staring at Scootaloo with an unreadable expression. It was odd in a way. Twilight had expected him to look at her younger sister with a snarl or narrowed eyes. She thought he’d be anger to see the little filly. That or he would ignore her. Instead, he just looked at her as if he didn’t know what to feel with his mouth somewhat open. As for Scootaloo, the filly just stared back at him without knowing who she was looking at.
Finally, Twilight broke the silence. “Dad?” When she said that, Night Light jerked his head up to look at his daughter while Scootaloo quickly turned her head to look at her. Twilight could see the understanding in her eyes now as she became nervous.
“There you are!” yelled a voice very familiar to Twilight. Before anypony could move a muscle a whitish blur shot past Night Light towards Scootaloo. The blur took a hold of Scootaloo before stopped to reveal Twilight Velvet, smiling as she held Scootaloo who had gone from nervous to freak out. Twilight found herself at a loss for words as this was, once again, not what she expected. She had expected denial or ANYTHING other than this! As Velvet began to rub her cheek against Scootaloo’s, Twilight looked over at her father to see that he looked exasperated by all of this.
“Sorry,” came the voice of Shining Armor as he and Cadence came running up to the door. Flurry Heart was naturally with them, held in Cadence’s magic as she sucked on her hoof. Once they had stopped, Night Light looked over at his son who had begun to scratch the back of his head with his hoof, ears flat as he did so. “She managed to break through one of my shield spells before I had a chance to reinforce it. Guess I should have used a stronger spell.” He then looked over at his mother. “Hey, is that Scootaloo? Wow, she’s gotten so much bigger than the last time I saw her.”
“Wait! What?” cried Twilight as her eyes went wide and pupils became tiny. The princess could feel her mane beginning frizzle out a tad as all the other ponies in the room ignored her.
“I thought you were gone forever!” said Velvet as she tightened her hold on the pegasus filly. Said filly was now trying to push away after getting over her shock.
“I wanted to ease her into all of this,” Night Light said as he looked at his son. “We’ve been trying to keep your mother from doing something like this ever since we found out Scootaloo was still alive.”
Shining Armor rolled his eyes. “I know that dad. That’s why we locked her up in the dungeons for the last few days until she escaped. Also, do you have any idea who had it is to maintain a spell like that for an entire train ride. I haven’t had any rest because I had to constantly keep reinforcing it. Shielding an entire city was easier.”
“WOULD EVERYPONY LISTEN TO ME!?” shouted Twilight while jumping into the air. The room became quiet instantly as everypony in the room looked at her. The only exception was Flurry Heart who, thankfully, didn’t start crying. Instead she giggled before breaking out of Cadence’s magical hold and floating over to Shining Armor. Once she was close enough, little Flurry clung onto the back of her father’s neck. As Twilight took a deep breath, ready to find out what was going on, the door to the kitchen opened revealing Spike in a flowery apron. He looked around at the scene before him and sighed.
“Looks like I have more food to prepare,” he grumbled.
-x-
“I’m so sorry for all of this,” said Night Light. He and every other pony were now in the library, seated in a circle of chairs that Twilight had arranged with her magic. Sitting next to Twilight was Scootaloo and beside the pegasus was Velvet who seemed to refuse to let Scootaloo get too far away from her. Next to Velvet was Night Light which allowed Shining Armor and his family to fill in the gaps. Spike, despite Twilight’s offer to send out for food so that he could join them, was still in the kitchen. “I really wanted to write down everything that was going on and keep you both in the loop. But there was so much to do in the Crystal Empire that we didn’t have much time for anything besides a short note.”
“We’ve been talking to lawyers and going over the legal system to see your family held any claim towards Scootaloo’s custody,” said Cadence. “That and making sure your mother didn’t trample over everypony in her path towards Ponyville. We had to lock her up in a cell to keep her from heading on the first train here and she managed to escape. Twice!”
“Can you blame me?” asked Velvet. “I thought Scootaloo was dead!”
“Hold on, hold on,” said Twilight, fanning her wings as she spoke to get everypony’s attention. Once she saw that she had it she took a breath. “Can…Can we please start from the beginning. Like who is Scootaloo’s father.”
“And why was I left in an orphanage?” added Scootaloo.
Velvet turned to look at Night Light who only gave a short nod before returning to look at her two daughters. “Yes, I believe we should have started there. This all started back when I was a much younger mare, nothing more than a fresh recruit for the Equestria Special Forces at a time when I was just old enough to join. Alongside me was the only other mare to join, a pegasus by the name of Slip Stream. Neither of us wanted a job that consisted of standing around in one spot all day, doing nothing. We wanted to travel, fight monsters, and kick some major flank. Not to mention we both wanted to show those stallions how a mare gets the job done.” Velvet paused for a moment, closing her eyes as she remembered those times. “We had such dreams back then. We both pictured a future of the two of us exploring new lands or infiltrating enemy territory in the name of Celestia’s crown. But we were over eager at times. We got hurt. We got into trouble.” For a moment, Velvet paused as if she were remembering fond memories. During this time Twilight and Scootaloo glanced at each other. Their short gaze shared the same question they both had: where was this going?
“In the end, we passed basic training and were kept together in the same unit. From there our lives were one big adventure together. There was never a dull mission nor one where I felt unsafe. Together, we trekked through the densest jungles and wadded through the sands in the middle of the desert. Even simple recon missions were fun because I had Slip along for the ride. Of course, that didn’t mean that we only had our missions to keep our hooves occupied. The two of us had lives outside of the Special Forces. Slip was an avid Wonderbolts fan who dragged me along to their shows whenever they were near us. That’s actually how I met Night and, when we were married Slip was the Best Mare.
“Eventually, my time in the Equestria Special Forces came to an end. Me and Night Light had decided that we wanted a family, even though it meant slowing down of a while. Slip, well, wasn’t happy about it. She seemed to think that I was betraying and abandoning her. After we had a fight that ended with me have a black eye and her limping home, neither of us spoke again until Shining Armor was born.” Velvet let out a good natured laugh. “I can still remember how she, the mare who had once charged headlong into a shower of spears and arrows with a cocky grin was petrified at the thought of holding a foal. She was so scared that she might drop him or hurt him that her entire body began to shake. Little Shiny giggled and laughed, thinking it was some sort of ride or game.” Velvet then grinned as she looked over at Shining Armor. “In fact, I think she might be the reason for why you get air sick. When you were two, she came over to catch up and you wanted to play. So she took you for a ride on her back, forgetting that non-pegasi foals aren’t used to such high speeds or stunts.”
“That explains so much,” said Shining dryly as Cadence lightly giggled.
“Wait a moment,” said Twilight. “If she was so important to you then how come I never met her before?”
“Slip Stream was almost always away on missions,” replied Velvet sadly. “She’d be gone for months on end until her assignment was completed before she could return home where she’d pick up her next one. Sometimes I didn’t see her for a year or more. And you did see her a few times after you were born. You were just quick to put your nose back into your books.” At that, Twilight blushed before hiding her face behind one of her wings knowing it was most likely true.
“Now then,” continued Velvet as she looked at Scootaloo. “One day Slip came to my door with her husband, Barrel Roll, to ask me for a very important favor. They had decided to start their own family, but were having trouble. Back when we were in training, one of the other cadets got angry that he was shown up by a couple of mares. A fight broke out resulting in Slip getting stabbed by a spear. Of course she lived, but the injury destroyed her womb entirely meaning she’d never be able to have foals of her own. So…”
Twilight gasped as her eyes filled with understanding. “You were a surrogate mother!” she exclaimed. “The doctors teleported some of Scootaloo’s father’s sperm into your womb.”
Velvet nodded. “I was happy to help out my friend. At the time, Twilight had just left to stay at Princess Celestia’s School and Shining was spending more time out of the house. I guess it was a small case of the empty nest syndrome. Later on, when my pregnancy began to show I told Shining Armor.”
“Ok,” said Scootaloo as she got out of her seat. “So that explains how you’re my mother, but it doesn’t explain why I grew up in an orphanage my entire life. If Slip Stream wanted to have me so much, then why was I left in Ponyville? And why didn’t you come looking for me?” As Scootaloo spoke, there was no anger in her words. Instead, she sounded desperate to know the truth.
Velvet got out of her seat to slowly approach the filly. When she was close enough the older mare got down as far as she could to look the filly in the eye. “Scootaloo, we…we thought you had died along with Slip Stream and Barrel Roll.”
Scootaloo took a step back. “What?”
Velvet, who had not moved from where she was, nodded sadly. “While you were still in my womb, your parents were living in a small apartment in Canterlot. Barrel Roll was a stunt pony who never could make it into the Wonderbolts and instead became a weather pony for the area around Canterlot. With you on the way, both he and Slip Stream wanted what was best for you. They both agreed that in a city where the majority of ponies were magic users, it would be harder for you to fit in. So, Barrel went looking for another job and eventually landed one in Cloudsdale. Slip Stream used all of the money she had saved up over the years to buy a nice house by the Cloudsdale Stadium. By the time you were born, everything was finalized and set. Me, Night Light, and Shining Armor saw the three of you off.” Velvet paused as a tear appeared in her eye, wiping it away with her hoof. “The next day, I found out that your parents were dead.”
Twilight watched as Scootaloo’s flank landed on the floor. The filly’s face had lost a shade of its color while also losing all expression. To Twilight, it looked like Scootaloo didn’t know what she was supposed to feel in this situation. That she was so utterly lost and confused beyond her ability to process all of this. Getting to her hooves, the princess walked over to her younger sister before wrapping a wing around her barrel. Scootaloo flinched at this followed by looking up at Twilight, still appearing lost. Feeling lost herself, Twilight did the only thing she could think to do in this situation and didn’t let go of her younger sister.
After a moment, Scootaloo looked back at Velvet. “How…What happened?” When she asked this, her voice was almost hollow.
“There was an accident at the weather factory,” said Cadence before Velvet could. “I remember Aunt Celestia talking about it when it happened. Nopony knows how it happened exactly, but a powerful storm intended for the western area of Equestria escaped while Cloudsdale was in the heart of Equestria. It spilled out everywhere, taking everypony by surprise. The weather ponies did their best to take care of it, but the storm was just too powerful. Its sudden appearance created powerful winds that were powerful enough to knock down entire trees that went in all directions. It was like a tornado suddenly appeared. Then there were the lightning strikes that destroyed several homes.”
“When Slip and Barrel’s moving chariot was found, it was in pieces across several miles,” said Velvet. “Not too long after, they found their bodies. But not yours Scootaloo. We looked all over the area where they were found, but there was no sign of you there. We never thought to check around Ponyville or its surround areas since it was in the complete opposite direction. If we had known…”
As Velvet began to tear up, Night Light got to his hooves. Calmly he walked over to his wife and comforted her. “The officials helped as much as they could,” he said. “But they didn’t hold out much hope. If two adult pegasi couldn’t survive that then there was little to no chance that a newly born filly could. In the end, we had to accept the possibility that you had passed.” Night Light then looked at his daughter. “We decided not to tell you about this Twilight. You had had a stressful semester, taking all of your classes while also raising Spike on your own. We were afraid how this might affect you.”
Twilight was barely paying attention at this point. Instead her mind was ablaze with the new information she had received. She remembered the documents regarding how Scootaloo had been found the night after a horrible storm. Specifically she was found in a cloud carrier. While there was no description of the carrier, after hearing this story Twilight had a hunch that it was the Grebes model. Twilight remembered researching it alongside Princess Celestia years ago. It had been specifically designed and enchanted to safely lower a foal to the ground in the event of an emergency. At the time, Twilight had felt a sense of pity that the line had been discontinued due to the high costs as well as the need to have the spells recast every six months. It had been, in her mind, a real shame to let such a magical product go to waste.
If it had been the Grebes model, it would explain how Scootaloo survived that night. The Princess of Friendship could almost see it clearly in her mind what might have happened. A family moving across Equestria when a sudden, unexpected storm appeared. Heavy winds blowing in every direction while they pulled their chariot. Maybe they had tried to detach it so it wouldn’t weight them down or perhaps they were going to land on the ground so they could wait out the storm. But they never got the chance. Twilight could see a pegasus mare reach for the foal carrier, removing it from the rest of the chariot so that the foal inside would at least have a chance. Perhaps even her husband telling her to take the foal and try and fly her to safety. In the end, however, she never got the chance. Slip Stream probably pushed the carrier away from the chariot at the last moment where it was carried off by the wind in a different direction. The truth was that they would never know.
-x-
It was some time later and Scootaloo was in her room looking out of her window without really looking at anything. After hearing about how her parents died she had simply asked to be excused and left the room. Nopony had tried to stop her, allowing her time to grieve or whatever. That was maybe two hours ago. Or it could have been two minutes. Scootaloo didn’t really know right now. She didn’t know what she was looking at right now as she tried to sort out this uncomfortable feeling she had inside of her.
There was a knock on her door that Scootaloo barely heard. She did, however, hear the door open behind her. Taking a deep breath, Scootaloo turned to see Twilight standing behind her looking worried.
“Some day,” said Twilight with a brief smile. It faded quickly as she approached the small pegasus and sat down next to her. “How are you feeling?”
“Weird,” muttered Scootaloo as she looked out at the scene outside the window. It looked like just another average day in Ponyville.
“Do you want to talk about it?” asked Twilight.
At first, Scootaloo didn’t say anything. Time seemed to slow down as she considered talking to Twilight about this. A part of her didn’t want to or, rather, she was afraid to. Afraid of what Twilight might think of her if she told her everything she was and wasn’t feeling right now. Afraid that Twilight would think of her as a monster or something. But as she looked over at her older sister, Scootaloo saw her waiting for an answer. She’d probably wait there for any answer and if Scootaloo said no thanks that would probably be it for now. Yet Scootaloo knew Twilight well enough that the alicorn would dwell on this matter, bringing it up from for time to time until Scootaloo talked about it. Until she did, Twilight would worry herself sick as she checked her books looking for something that might help her. Realizing this, Scootaloo let out a sigh.
“I always hoped that my parents were dead,” said Scootaloo finally, Twilight’s ears perking in order to give the filly her full attention. “When Spike asked me about it, I told him about how uncool it was to hope that your parents were alive and they’d whisk you away to some fancy castle or mansion before living happily ever after. It’s better just to hope they were gone rather than to know that they didn’t want or even love you.” Scootaloo then turned to look her sister in the eyes, feeling her heart race a little as she did. “I feel a little happy that they didn’t abandon me. I’m also sad that they’re dead. B-But not as sad as I think I should be! Shouldn’t I be crying my eyes out now?!? Shouldn’t I be overcome with grief? I feel sadder for our mom than I did them and I hate myself for that!”
“Scootaloo, its ok,” said Twilight gently as she moved her wing around Scootaloo again. However, Scootaloo pulled away while shaking her head.
“No it's not ok!” said the filly as she looked Twilight in the eyes. “Shouldn’t I be feeling more right now? I feel like a couple of strangers just died! Why am I-” Before Scootaloo could finish, Twilight had moved to wrap Scootaloo in a hug. Caught off guard, the filly could only stare at Twilight’s barrel for a moment as she felt her sister’s warmth surround her. She felt safe like this. As if it was ok to be vulnerable. That there was no need to impress Twilight or act cool. So Scootaloo began to cry. “I’m horrible.”
“I don’t think you are Scootaloo,” replied Twilight as Scootaloo felt the alicorn’s hoof rub her back. “And I’m sure nopony in this castle thinks so either. Everything is just happening really quickly. Just give yourself some time to process this.”
Scootaloo pulled back a bit so she could look Twilight in the eyes. “But, what if I never see them as anything more than just Slip Stream and Barrel Roll? Just two ponies who died but I can’t remember anything about them?”
“If that happens then we’ll deal with it together,” replied Twilight instantly. “Your BSBFF won’t let you go through this alone.” Despite herself, Scootaloo couldn’t help but smile while rolling her eyes at Twilight’s acronym. Hearing her say that helped the filly calm down more than she thought it would. “Now then, let’s go downstairs. Spike should be almost finished with dinner. I’m sure after all of that you must be famished. Plus this is a good opportunity to get to know mom.”
Feeling her stomach rumble slightly, Scootaloo nodded. “Sounds great,” she said before wiping away the tears from her face. The two began to make their way to the door, before a new thought popped into Scootaloo’s head. “So, ah, what happens now?”
“What do you mean?” asked Twilight.
“Well, about what your dad said,” replied Scootaloo calmly. “About the lawyers and-”
“Oh right, that,” interrupted Twilight with a hint of a smile on her face. “Well, according to the Equestrian legal system, custody falls to the next of kin which would be our mother or any relatives on your father’s side. So, naturally, mom has already filled out the paperwork and it helps that you already started living with me. Cadence and Shining Armor have their ponies looking for ponies on your father’s side as we speak. If any of them wish to take you in, we can either go before the courts or ask Princess Celestia. However, I’m personally hoping that it won’t come to that. We might be able to settle things outside of court so that everypony wins.” Twilight stopped in her tracks before glancing down at Scootaloo. “Unless, what you want is to-”
“No, no,” said Scootaloo quickly, understanding what Twilight was trying to say. She had to admit that she was curious about her father’s side of the family. However, this was her home and Twilight was her older sister. She didn’t want to give that up for all the bits in Equestria. “I’d rather be here.”
“You never know,” said Twilight with a playful smile. “They could be really, really cool. Probably much better than your geeky older sister and her friends.”
Scootaloo laughed at that. “I doubt that,” she said. “They probably don’t go on adventures every week.”
-x-
“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us to Canterlot?” asked Velvet. It was later that evening and the sun was dipping below the horizon. The entire family, including Spike, were now at the train station in front of a train ready to depart to the capital. Most of their things had been taken on board by Night Light and Shining Armor…only to have Flurry Heart dumping it out with her magic while giggling. Cadence did her best to keep the foal under control; however Flurry just kept flying out of her reach.
“I…I’m sure,” said Scootaloo, feeling and looking uneasy as she said this to the mare that was her biological mother. “I mean, I’m sure Canterlot is a great place with a lot to do. But…” Her voice trailed off as she looked over at Twilight before looking back at Velvet. Said mare looked somewhat hurt. “It’s just that all my friends are here.”
For a moment, Velvet said nothing before letting out a deep sigh. “I see,” she said while lowering her head. Scootaloo’s wings rose as she looked around in a panic. The last thing she wanted to do was upset another member of her family! Not knowing what to say or do, Scootaloo only took a step forward before Velvet raised her head. The older mare was now grinning like mad. “Well then, looks like I’m going to be taking more trips to Ponyville then! It’s only a train ride away after all. We’re also going to have to have more family trips!”
As she said this, both Night Light and Shining Armor became very still as if they had been hit by a freezing spell. Their awkward positions, both of them had been standing on their hind legs trying to grab their things, caused them to fall over. After hitting the ground they both quickly got to their hooves before rushing over to Velvet. Both of them looked a little more than scared for some reason.
“Dear, before you start planning anything,” began Night Light who paused to gulp loudly while Velvet shot him an annoyed look. “Maybe we should sit down and consider things that are more appropriate for her age than some of our…usual family fun.”
“Like, for example, no hang gliding or swimming with the sharks…again,” said Shining Armor quickly causing Velvet to let out a huff. “Maybe something like a nice, safe, completely calm-”
“Wait, you like to hang glide?” asked Scootaloo as she jumped into the air. “What about zip lining or white river rafting? Or how about bungee jumping? Oh, and what about that thing where you’re in a barrel and dropped off a waterfall? Have you ever done that because I would totally do that!” Both stallions looked at Scootaloo, their jaws dropping in unison as Velvet stepped closer to Scootaloo with a big grin on her face.
“You know, there’s this big bungee jumping event going on in two weeks near the Foal Mountains,” said Velvet as she wrapped a hoof around Scootaloo. “It would make the perfect bounding experience.”
“That sounds AWESOME!” shouted Scootaloo as she looked at Velvet in a new light.
“I don’t know,” said Twilight as she brought a hoof to her chin. While the two stallions looked relieved to hear this, Scootaloo felt her heart sink a bit. As her ears flattened against her skulls, she couldn’t help but wonder why Twilight would say something like that. She was preventing her from getting to know her mother in perhaps the most awesome way ever! Was this because of her grades again? Because, if that was the case, she had two weeks to bring them up or at the very least put more of an effort into them!
Velvet seemed to agree as she walked over to her elder daughter with a frown on her face. “Are you telling me I shouldn’t spend time getting to know Scootaloo?” she asked firmly.
“What?” said Twilight, her eyes growing wide. “Oh, no. that’s not what I meant at all! It’s just that Scootaloo has a doctor’s appointment for that study I was telling her about in two weeks so I don’t know how her schedule is going to be affected.”
“Oh that’s right,” said a calmer Velvet as Scootaloo let out a sigh of relief. She found it odd that she had forgotten something so important.
As Twilight and Velvet began to talk, Scootaloo looked around herself once more. Spike was over by himself, reading a comic he had brought along but occasionally glancing around to see what everypony was doing. Shining and Night Light were back to work putting their things into the train with the heads low. The only difference now was that Cadence had taken control of Flurry Heart, making sure the filly wouldn’t interrupt their work. As she looked back at Twilight, a smile crossed the filly’s lips. This was her family now and she was excited to see how well she fit in with them.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- RaylanKrios · 20k words · 596 8 · 6.7k views
- deadpansnarker · 50k words · 690 55 · 13k views
- Rose Quill · 15k words · 356 16 · 4.3k views
- GigaBowser · 19k words · 736 26 · 19k views
- Astral Phoenix · 9.7k words · 274 10 · 17k views
- Matt11 · 33k words · 309 25 · 11k views
- All Art Is Quite Useless · 18k words · 558 27 · 8.5k views
- Phoenix Nebula · 3.8k words · 43 3 · 1.2k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.178 seconds
Total duration
662 users online
868,467 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
An excellent story! I was honestly worried it would go darker places, but I am very relieved it is not. You did magnificently in setting up the dramatic moments like Night Light reading the letter first and looking to his wife. And the whole jail thing. And more! It was wonderfully suspenseful!
I love the surrogate mother story and the moment when Velvet and Scootaloo realized they were both going to do crazy things like all those extreme sports together. That was glorious and tied things together wonderfully.
Thanks for writing this. Adding it to my favs.
so scootaloo is more her mothers daughter huh? how nice
Nice. I like that Twilight either know Scoots will be okay due to what the CMC usually gets up to or has been through so much worse that bungee jumping isn’t even an eyebrow raiser.
Okay, this reason... I did not expect, and honestly? I love it. Even more so, I love that Scootaloo's wild streak is apparently a surprising trait she shares with Velvet. Completely unexpected and completely awesome!
That. Was. MAGNIFICENT! The sheer degree of misdirection & careful phrasing need to facilitate that fakeout! I'm positively GLEEFUL at this turn of events! I tip my hat to you, my dear Author!
only talking to her in short sentences whenever Twilight told him too
Twilight gave him an unease grin while here highly organized brain
She thought he’d be anger to see the little filly
Also, do you have any idea who had it is to maintain a spell like that for an entire train ride
We never thought to check around Ponyville or its surround areas since
It would make the perfect bounding experience
1. To.
2. Uneasy, Her.
3. Angrier.
4. How hard.
5. Surrounding.
6. Bonding.
Huh I wasn't expecting it to go that way. We'll done sir or ma'am well done
...
...
...
Beautiful
Keep up the good work my good man
I was wondering when he was going to show up...
On the contrary, I suspect Celestia would praise her for having the guts to give a noble what for. And even if not Celestia, Luna most definitely would.
Either way, at least Scootaloo has absolutely no qualms about that issue.
That said, little disappointed that the not-so-good Baron was effectively a red herring, of no bearing on the story at all except as a brief (very brief) distraction. I feel he wasn't necessary to have included in the story at all.
This explains so much.
In conclusion, glad there was a happy ending in store for everybody after all, and indeed, the truth explains everything nicely. The only fault I can think of is that there really wasn't any good reason to hold off telling Scootaloo and Twilight any of this immediately after learning Scootaloo was alive. It didn't even need to be in person, a letter would've been sufficient. Not only did they deserve to know the truth right away, all that delaying did was create unnecessary confusion and stress for the both of them, and in a way for Velvet and Night as well in trying to hold off telling them. It feels very forced and only there for drama's sake. Story-wise, I get why you wanted to hold off telling it until now, but in-story, there's no good justification given as to why there had to be such a delay--waiting to sort out the legal issues over custody aren't sufficient, because Scootaloo and Twilight still had a right to know what the situation was and to sit tight until that was resolved straightaway, and no reason why they needed to be kept out any longer than that.
If there was some communications blackout preventing them from getting word out sooner, either by letter or in person, like some sort of unexpected snow storm hitting the Crystal Empire snowing everypony in until it had passed, that would've helped waive that way. But without such an explanation, it does sort of leave an obvious plot hole that really should've been easy enough to fill so much so it shouldn't need to be there at all.
I was also disappointed that we got no real closure on the matter between Spike and Scootaloo. Didn't need them to have to make up completely or anything, just needed them addressing the matter between them on a more one-on-one level, showing that they acknowledged it and could resolve to try and fix it in the future. But the fact we don't get that doesn't necessarily break the story for me though, it just feels like a loose end that's left untied and it kind of weighs heavily on one's attention.
Otherwise, the story feels like it turned out decently enough. By the sounds of it, you delaying in writing it when you first got the idea probably worked to its advantage, enabling the story to become a bit better formed in terms of structure during that stretch of time.
A thought I had that wasn't addressed in the story--is Scootaloo's name actually her given name? Or a name given to her after the fact when she was found, seemingly abandoned? If the latter, then what would her given name be? Because given the circumstances of how Scootaloo was found, unless her name was written on something found with her, like her carrier or anything she might've been wearing, it seems unlikely those who found her would've known what her name was and would've had to come up with something else to call her. It's not an important matter of course, it's just a thought worth thinking about, I felt.
Didn't see the surrogate thing coming so nice touch. And yes sequel other wise to abrupt ending.
Wow, this was a good charming reading :D and im happy with it, hope there is a sequel.
personal i want twilgiht to go "oh mom we have done that in years mind if i join in" only for scoot to learn that both twilights love the extream sports stuff
I am looking forward to a sequel to this story! I guess Scootaloo definitely takes after her father and her mother. Hopefully everyone will bond well as they get to know one another.
Neat, it’s over. Send a blog post if/when the sequel goes up, ‘kay?
Whoa! plot twist.
Very nice story.
Also I freakin’ called it about how Scootaloo ended up being Velvet’s daughter and how she ended up in the orphanage! (Had to look it back up: Called it WAY back in chapter 3. Post #57.)
8771194
I predicted it, just had to think how they could’ve been related without Velvet cheating so there can be a happy ending.
Sadly I was dead wrong in that exact same post on the reason why Scoots was acting the way she was (thought it was due to puberty and hormones messing with her mind, not yet another case of extreme hero worship lol).
Great job. I’m hoping there will be a sequel. You left a big cliffhanger at the end. Like will Scootaloo get taken away or not. I’m eager to find out
Question, did scoots ever make up with Spike? or are they still having issues?
Awesome chapter looking forward to more
That scene of Velvet’s love of extreme sports turned out to be a clue of all things. Whoda thunk Scoot would take after her?
.... Wait..... That's it!? Its over & Velvet didn't give birth to Scootaloo bcuz of an affair!?
What about Spike still hating Scootaloo!? What about Lyra possibly recognizing Mr. Bubbles!? What about Scootaloo's surgery!? It can't end like it, the potential is too strong to stop now!
I both did and did not expect that. It was an even better outcome than I thought it'd be.
I'd love to see a sequal to this, as it stands now this feels unfinished with a lot of unresolved story left to be told.
But it was a good story over-all ;3!
Well that was a sad reveal.
But at least Velvet didn't do anything wrong.
Scootaloo know has a loving family, and a mother who shares her thirst for thrill.
This is a great fanfic, and I sure would like to see a sequel.
Really liked all the characterisation from the sparkle family. Will say if there’s gunna be a sequel then mits gotta probably be about Scootaloo and Spike, as well as his relationship to the family. Feels like that’s the only thing that hasn’t had closure. As well as the final outcome with Bubbles
Yay!
I noticed a few minor errors, but this was the most glaring to me, did you mean to say “bonding experience”?
then
attend to you
see if your
Good ending, can't wait for MORE.
8771511
8771471
8771405
8771191
I think that was done so that there could be a sequel as well as adding to the realism. Rather than ending everything in one chapter, we know that Spike is at least cooling down a tad and Twilight is working on the issues brought up by Mr. Bubbles. There are honestly more directions the author can take by leaving these things open as opposed to ending them.
Also, Scootaloos name was on the foal carrier mentioned briefly in chapter 3
8771773
well, bungie jumping does have rebounds. maybe it was intentional
Very nicely done.
I would definitely be interested in a sequel, to tie up the last few loose ends (e.g. Spike), should you choose to write one.
8771814
If is that is true, it was pretty lackluster pun.
Sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel,!!!!!!!!
Wait wait wait, finished? B-but you just got started! Scootaloo only just got to terms with having an actual family, she and Spike are still on thin ice, she just found out that her biological mom shares her desire for awesome, Twilight only just had a suitor going after her, all dem plot threads!
Sequel please.
Well, it was a good story, maybe a little short, but I liked it, too bad it finished. It could be good if you decide to make a sequel but if you decide to not make a sequel I suppose it will be also okay.
Not really what I was expecting for the family meeting, although I'm not really sure what I was expecting... Still nice closure.
Nicely done conclusion with resolution and potential for a sequel. I really enjoyed this story, thank you!
This was an all around enjoyable read. I look forward to future potential.
Aside from a few typos and OOC dialog moments, this was a really good story.
I did find Casanova's existence in the the story to be questionable as well as distracting considering how little he contributed to the overall plot as well.
In the future, please try not to create unnecessary characters. They reduce the overall quality of the story. 
Even gag characters need to serve a purpose to the main plot in some shape or form. Not that Casanova doesn't serve any purpose to the main plot AT ALL, just that his role is too small to really be of any major significance to it. It feels like he was just shoved into the last chapter at the last second just because he was briefly mentioned in the earlier chapters. 😒
Way to go incorporating velvet's extreme streak into this story. It makes sense given scoots pension for extreme stunts.
I honestly expected it to last a bit longer, so I'm truly hoping that there'll be a sequel. Also, I can't say how relieved I am that Velvet didn't end up cheating on Night Light. Not sure if it was planned like that or not, but either way, great job.
8771805
Honestly, from a literary standpoint I have to argue the point. The story had just reached the climax with the appearance of Velvet and co, on top of tye fact that he's been stressing Bubbles and the foal protective services heavily which is something that alludes to him showing up again after the story ends.
Truthfully, this story is just unresolved, as it ended too quickly after the major event that it we were anticipating, and it ended too easily.
8772246
I think that the main point of the story was on Scootaloo and Twilight. How could they be sisters? Could this work? For me that's the heart of this tale which this story concludes by telling us how this came to be.
I never thought mr. Bubbles was ever supposed to be an antagonist towards Twilight. I get that some people like to think he was trying to make a name or do something nefarious, but that's not how I saw him. He was just a guy doing his job and that's looking out for the well-being of a little filly. Besides this chapter started with Twilight working on the list that Bubbles gave her. She's well on the road to getting that done. Add to the fact that Velvet has entered the scene, the rights of the mother should take propriety. Any additional impact he might have will have to wait for a sequel.
8772138
Personally I found the scene with Casanova to be honestly refreshing. Not only did we get some adorable moments with little Twilight, that was a nice breather from all the hecticness that has happened. Plus we get to see a new way Scootaloo can help with the Dynamics of her new family. Spike will always be there to support Twilight. Twilight will panic and over think things. Scootaloo will approach the problem head on as this scene showed us.
8772284
I never said Mr Bubbles was an antagonist, I own Lelo and Stitch after all, but the way it was built up in the story alluded to a longer plot line than just him showing up once, then Twilight works on his list in the background.
Which really is the major thing, the story has a major build up to larger events, then just ends suddenly. There should be more, but there isn't, even with the main thing being Twilight and Scootaloo's bond as sisters there is still more to flesh out and explore.
8771805
True, like I said in my comment, I didn't need a perfectly clean resolution on that. But it still needed addressing, so to give a hint that there is some sort of resolution on the way with that, because obviously Spike and Scootaloo can't stay on bad terms, not speaking with each other, forever like this. Even with consideration for a sequel, it still needs something to close it in some manner, even if just setting it aside for now for another day.
Besides, I should point out that it's a little early to assume a sequel is on the way--the author said he might write one, but hasn't made any guarantees of it as of yet. What if one never comes along? What if the reader only reads this story but never the sequel, for whatever reason? Leaving Spike and Scootaloo like this feels unsatisfactory with such thoughts in consideration. Thus, I find that, unless you're deliberately writing the tale in an episodic format and want to leave it on a cliffhanger because you have EVERY intention of following up on it, it's best to write every story in a sense that doesn't presume there will be a sequel, even if you're planning on one. That way enough of the plot can be self-contained to one story that, should no sequel be found, a reader can still be satisfied enough with that single entry. The trick is to do it while also leaving things open enough for a possible sequel. In this case, I feel the author left things too open on the matter of Spike and Scootaloo.
But like I said before, the fact that's so doesn't kill the story for me. It's still a sweet little tale, and overall, I'm still pretty satisified with the final product.
Darn it, I forgot about that. That's what I get for bringing it up without double-checking to make sure I wasn't forgetting something.
HA! I freaking called it, I knew Velvet was a surrogate mother, wow this was beautiful, still seems incomplete tho, I hope you continue this.
Would be nice to see some interaction between the CMC and Flurry Heart.
Yeah, she's Velvet's kid all right.
awesome story totally a amazing read.
Damn It! It ended.
This has truly been a very enjoyable story, and part of me is sad to see it end.