Having failed to reach Davy Jones' Locker with the rest of his crew, Captain Hector Barbossa finds himself stranded within a hell many times more terrifying; a land infested with magical talking horses and little baby dragons. Despite the odds being stacked against him and the inhabitants of Ponyville at his back every step of the way, he vows to return to his own world and finish the quest he started.

If only fate did not have a new adventure in store for him. An adventure that could very well change the fate of Equestria and the Caribbean seas forever...

You are a human in Equestria, forced to work as a for-hire 'stress management consultant' (ie, cuddler) in order to make ends meet in this strange world while others search for a way for you to get home.
However, you've just been assigned to your biggest job yet- 'managing the stress' of none other than Princess Celestia herself. How will you go about your job?
In this Choose-Your-Own-Adventure story, you make the decisions, you are responsible for the consequences, and many possible storylines await!

Featured 5/24/17! Thank you all so much!

You just want to be left alone. Pinkie won't let that happen. She's been there.

Lighter, fluffier sequel: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/373623/youre-getting-better

Drone 319, Queen Chrysalis's top spy in Ponyville, finds himself hovering over Ciderfest tied to a balloon. Why? He doesn't know. When asked what he's doing, he says the first thing that comes to mind to keep his cover.

"I'm a Zeppelin."

Picture art https://derpibooru.org/301934

[Featured 11/11-17/2016 ]

(Now with audio reading https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqaOKuSnH1I&feature=youtu.be)

As the apocalypse descends, Celestia flies upwards to give it battle.

When a freak reading accident causes Twilight to be admitted to the Ponyville hospital, Rainbow Dash is right by her side. Compelled by a sense of duty and repayment, she takes it upon herself to cheer up her friend.

Twilight Sparkle is replaced by a firetruck.

I'm never writing another story.

Seriously, this is it.

Pumpkin Munch the bat pony finds a baby on her doorstep one day, and she can’t wait to show everypony in Ponyville. Nopony can resist a cute little baby, after all. And it’s not just any baby, either; it’s a changeling baby! A rare subcategory of baby, indeed. That’ll get everypony talking.

Hopefully everypony.

Tirek had returned and this time there was nothing that could be done to stop him. The Elements of Harmony had been defeated, the Tree of Harmony had been ripped from the ground, and every spell that was thrown at Tirek was useless. It was only a matter of time before he found the alicorns and then all would be lost.

What happened next though, nopony saw coming.

Now with a Russian translation, which can be found here.
Big thanks to Armorer.

Changelings are mighty hunters, capable of imitating anything they choose to perfection. Naturally stealthy, soft on their hooves, and cunning to a fault, there is no doubt that they sit on top of the food chain. Incognito is a proud changeling and looks down on his friends prey from his lofty spot above them all, confident that his spot at the pinnacle of the food chain is secure. After all, his race is without equal, their strength unquestionable ...

With the exception of a small, little nerve cluster at the tip of their snouts. It doesn't help that everypony in Ponyville knows about it, too.

'Nito really wishes they didn't.

Preread by Timaeus and Cynewulf. Thanks, guys.
Cover art by the one and only Rossby Waves.