//------------------------------// // Moonlight Serenade // Story: Over the Edge and Over Again // by Perpetual Motion //------------------------------// Chapter 22 Moonlight Serenade Things were not going well, Twilight Sparkle had finally decided. It had taken her a while to truly accept this fact but, yes, the day had not gone entirely how she had expected. On the contrary, actually; the day had gone rather similarly to how she imagined a very terrible day to go. This particular day also showed very little signs of improving. The current state of her surroundings did nothing to alleviate that belief. The throne room of Canterlot Castle had never quite seemed so dire. There wasn’t exactly anything wrong with the duplicate in which she was imprisoned, for the most part. Spare for it being a facsimile of the real deal, of course. But there were no windows, no doors. In a room that usually held so much avenue for light and the endless sky through the glass ceiling above, the dim shade that now clung to every surface was truly alien to her. It simply made the place completely unlike itself, utterly different to what it was designed to be. The royal throne Room was supposed to be open and welcoming, a link between the royalty of Equestria and the world outside. A neutral ground where the common pony could meet with the princesses. The only remaining view into Equestria was through Discord’s ‘mirror’. A false window that saw only whatever Discord wanted them to see. And what she saw was anarchy. A distorted rendition of Pony Piracy created by Discord himself. And she couldn't do anything about it. “I’ve messed up, haven’t I?” Twilight eventually murmured, not quite sure who she was asking. “I’ve missed my chance to get the Elements back. And I've probably made it harder for the others to do anything at all...” “I wouldn’t say that, Twilight,” Celestia calmly replied. “You had very little you could do, so you chose the most logical way forward; find the Elements of Harmony to bring down Discord. You knew you needed them to succeed and you took your chance to get them.” “I didn’t get them though.” Well, she did. Technically. Just not in a way that she could use them. “Not in time.” “That is true. But since you haven’t returned from the castle, what do you suppose your friends will assume has happened?” Twilight thought on the question, searching for some hidden meaning. “That...I failed?” “And?” “And that we...don’t have access to Elements?” Celestia smiled knowingly in response. “Not returning gives them reason to assume that they need another way to deal with Discord this time around. Though far from a victory, it is still a step forwards.” “It’s not much of a step forwards though, is it?” Spike asked, waving his claw casually as he rested his heads against Celestia’s barrel. “I mean, we’re still stuck in here. And they’re still out there without anything that can actually help.” Celestia gently nudged her leg into the little dragon, brushing him off as she got to her hooves. Spike’s only response was to grumble under his breath and sit up straight on the tiled floor. “Help can come from the most unlikely of places, Spike. Now is one of the times to hold onto that belief.” “But where are we going to get help?” Spike asked casually, his tone less disgruntled than before. It was genuinely curious. “Discord’s, like, the most powerful thing in Equestria right now. He doesn’t exactly have many weak points.” “Maybe he will catch himself some horrid disease?” Luna suggested. The others merely looked back at her, their eyebrows in various states of ascension. The Lunar Princess shrunk back ever so slightly, clicking her tongue against her teeth. “It was merely an observation. He could catch something and grow weary from illness,” she said, her eyes narrowing as she slammed her dainty hoof against the floor. “And then we strike down with a mighty hoof!” “As favourable as that would, Sister, I doubt waiting for Discord to catch a cold is a viable course of action.” “But it is a course of action we could take, is it not? We are with few of them.” Celestia seemed to think on this for several moments before she nodded. “Duly noted. However, I’m in doubts as to whether we should rely on such a tactic.” Luna conceded there, nodding. “Admittedly, I am at odds as to what we should do from here on out,” Celestia added, her ears flatter than before. “From inside this mirror, we can only wait for something to change in our favour.” Twilight frowned at the revelation. It wasn’t so much a surprise, really. It was simply an acknowledgement she rather wished hadn’t come to pass. Celestia was the one pony she usually counted on when times were at their worst. The Princess had certainly helped Twilight deal with several tough situations in the past. But here they were, trapped without a way to aid the cause and Celestia had readily admitted to it. And it was difficult to think about. Her friends were all likely trying their best on the outside and she was stuck inside a magic mirror. A small laugh courtesy of Spike drew her attention away from her inner turmoil. “What’s so funny?” Twilight asked, curious. The little dragon settled down before answering. “I just realised that I’m still out of the loop,” he joked. “I’m usually stuck in the library not being much help. Now I’m stuck in here not being much help, even though I'm part of the action.” Twilight cracked a weak smile at that. She wasn’t quite sure why Spike found it so funny but she could see the logic in his thinking. Shaking away the only mirth she’d received in the last few hours, Twilight glanced towards the abandoned chest inside the mostly empty throne room. The Element of Laughter lay on the floor several hoof-lengths away. It seemed oddly lonely and melancholy without Pinkie wearing it around her neck. She hadn’t even searched through the chest but something inside told her that the other pieces were there. Something just felt right in that chest. It all felt rather unfair, in a very Discord move; they readily had the Elements of Harmony. They had all of them, to the point they had been handed over in a pristine, little chest. Twilight and her friends just couldn’t get any use out of them. They even had the entirety of the royal guard on their side. Simply put, a very large amount of ponies willing to fight against Discord. Too bad they were now barely the size of new-born hamsters and about as useful when it came to getting anything done. Twilight waved gingerly towards the cage. There was no real response; she’d learned that it was best to leave the tiny soldiers to their own devices. Most of them were getting a tad emotional and the rest were trying to eat away their issues by way of the relatively gigantic cake that had been unceremoniously dropped into their cage. She wasn’t entirely sure where Shining Armour stood amidst those two categories, but the brief talk they’d had when she first arrived into the mirror implied he was possibly moving towards the former. He'd found it hard to revive morale after their previous capture ended with them being thrown back into a cage. As adorable as they all were, she could see their issue. They were being held back by a cage designed for pets. Hardly a great confidence boost. Even if the guards were their normal size, they'd be about as useful as everything else inside the mirror. Which was ‘not very’. Her musings were broken with the entrance of Discord himself into their faux throne room. There was no real fanfare or announcement of his arrival. One second there was nothing, and the next there was a fully stocked bar against one of the far walls. He stood behind it with cocktail shaker and a flawless white suit over his mismatched body. “I don’t suppose I could offer any of you fine mares a drink?” he asked, somehow pouring a martini glass into the shaker with the rest of the sordid concoction. “On the house, of course. It would be dreadfully unfair of me to ask for bits in your current situation.” Twilight just stormed straight up to the bar. She forced her hooves right onto the wooden counter once she arrived. Discord only peered down, still shaking the shaker. “You really do think you’re being funny, don’t you?” “Well, I do try. Though, in all honesty, I've had a lot of time to practise,” he admitted, pouring three glasses from the container. Not into glasses; he quite literally poured three filled glass from nothing. “Despair in the departure lounge, Twilight Sparkle?” “What?” “The drink; Despair in the Departure Lounge. Lemon, Apple. A dash of Zebraska! You simply must try it.” Twilight rolled her eyes and moved down from the counter. Luna and Celestia made their own way over, their own faces as still and displeased as Twilight’s. Discord offered each a drink as they approached, only for Luna to knock all three of them away. Discord watched placidly as the drinks shattered against the tiles and the glasses splashed over the floor. “That was hardly sporting.” “And locking us inside this accursed space is fair game?” Luna asked back. Discord stroked thoughtfully at his beard. The thing purred eagerly under his touch. “Touché, Lulu. However, I deemed it the lesser of two evils. The ‘big evil’ being that you would take most of the fun out of this whole thing,” he said, and with a click of his hooves the bar was gone. “But being trapped in stone twice using the exact same tactic forced my claw somewhat, I’m afraid. Seriously, you have no idea how bad that was to see in hindsight. “By the way, what do you think of my new outfit?” He spun on the spot, an orange and pink buccaneer outfit adorning his body. It hadn’t been there before. Or ever. It came complete with a hat and matching eye-patch. “I thought I’d try and blend in with your new friend. This century’s theme is ‘pirate’, by the way. If only you were dressed for it! If you ask nicely, I could perhaps have you fitted for a jacket and-” “I don’t really care about your fashion choices, Discord,” Twilight butted in. “I just don’t see why we need to be stuck in here. You have the Elements; what point is there in keeping us captured?” To his credit, Discord seemed to think on the matter. “You raise an interesting point, Twilight Sparkle. But that leaves me at a crumby juncture: keeping you here means you miss out on all the fun, yet if I let you three go then the fun and games might come to an end altogether. You might have some fabulous friendship…” he mumbled, grasping at the empty air, “thing to use against me.” Twilight felt her face drop then. Goading him could have worked, she thought. He might have gone on a whim and let her out. He spoke again before she could add anything else. “So why risk losing the game when I can just take away all of your cards?” ☠ Shouldering the wood one last time, Barbossa and Pintel fell forward with the door to reveal a broken room. Just as it had been left, it very much befitted the style of any princess, all clean beige paint and hanging ornaments against the walls. Whether it was normal for the room or not, though, all signs of elegance ended there. Tables were overturned, books littered the floor in torn-up tatters. Equipment that had once been hung alongside the drapes was abandoned on the ground. They were perhaps in disrepair, dented and tarnished, but Barbossa could not rightly tell. But the distinct abnormality that had been promised was still very much present at the centre of the room. “Told ya!” Pintel cheered. “This is the place!” Just like his men had said, there was a wavering light at the centre of the room. Almost like a heavy moonlight shimmering against clear open waters. Barbossa could almost imagine it as the sight fish were welcomed to every time they looked up towards the whole new world living just above the surface. He took careful steps towards the light as his two cohorts shuffled along eagerly behind, followed closely by the ponies. Jack, while quiet, grew steadily more excited, shifting about the floor at his master’s feet. Mere feet away from the portal, Barbossa reached out his hand. He let his skin feel the warmth the light brought to the relative darkness of the room. He was sure he could hear queer sounds from beyond; strange, high-pitched sounds that he couldn’t place, but sounds just the same. He could practically see his world falling back into place around him, making way for some logic and resemblance of normality. Some sanity. But at the last moment he clenched his fist shut, as if it would somehow hold the moment in his grasp forever. His nails dig into the flesh as he refused to give in to the desire and, with effort, pulled his hand back and came to a definite stop. Pintel and Ragetti did not seem to have the same desire. Barbossa held out the other hand to stop them in place. Both men immediately ceased their gait, but Pintel still found it in himself to raise an ill-timed opinion. Barbossa ignored him completely. “Mister Ragetti,” Barbossa instead said. He opened a waiting palm to the man. “I’ll be havin’ that you-know-what back now, if ye please.” Ragetti shuffled on his feet, glancing between the portal and his captain as his sweaty hands rubbed against one another. The ponies looked on, curious, but without a single word between them. “I, uh, kept it safe and all. Just like you said!” “Aye, so it seems. But I’ll be needin’ it back.” Ragetti complied, digging at the right side of his face until the wooden orb came free from his eye socket. Rarity practically wretched onto the floor and Fluttershy rushed to hold her friend’s mane back. Just in case. Barbossa did his utmost to hold back a smirk. She really was like an uppity noble. Ragetti rubbed the wooden ball against his grubby shirt and meagrely handed it over to his captain. Smiling at it, Barbossa then looked around the room. Ideas and suggestions flickered through his head. Whispers of ideas that, perhaps, he could consider possibly putting into action at some point in the near future. As always, he briefly wondered how much Jack actually planned ahead in his escapades. Or if smarmy bastard even planned ahead at all. He looked past his men and even wondered at Pinkie for a moment before looking back to his monkey. The better of the two Jacks, in his opinion. In most opinions. Choices… So many situations in which it could all go horribly, horribly wrong. In the end, his eyes landed firmly on Applejack. The third of the Jacks, he supposed. He wandered over and, much to her evident displeasure, held out the eye to her. “Hide this,” he said, his voice steady. Razor sharp and filled with as much importance as he could impart to a talking pony in a fine hat. “Do not lose it. Yer world’s surely at stake if ye do.” He didn't know how much standing he had with them any more. After all, he lied to and displeased them practically on the hour. But they had a common goal and the farmer recognised this enough to simply nod and take the eye from him. She promptly hid it beneath her hat. He threw her a new look. One that was more than slightly less impressed. “And yer hat’s safe, is it?” “I won't lose it,” she confirmed. The gaze she returned was as sure as his own. “Not if it'll help my friends.” Barbossa nodded in response. Despite his calm demeanour, his fellow pirates seemed intent on giving him doubting looks. “Didn’t we… uh, need that?” Pintel meekly asked. “Cap’n?” “I’m not denyin’ that we do,” Barbossa replied. “Last I checked it weren’t in yer description te question me authority. Or are ye suggestin’ I’m goin’ senile in me old age?” Both men swiftly shook their heads. “Correct answer,” he confirmed with sly smile. “Besides, we ain’t leavin’. Applejack can be trusted for the mean time.” “We…” Pintel mumbled. “We ain’t going home?” Barbossa merely stared back in surprise, as if any of his potential answers weren’t so blindingly obvious. “No. No, of course not! Not till Discord gets what’s comin’ te him. And somethin’ is surely comin’ his way.” A rough laugh escaped is throat. “I may not know how te kill a god like Discord, but I do know how to ruin him.” With that, Barbossa moved back to the portal. He had no earthly idea what he was looking for inside, or if there was anything worth finding, but he did it anyway. If Jack could use casual sight to further his plans and keep them changing, then he could certainly try as well. “How long did ye say ye were in the Locker?” “Uh…” Pintel and Ragetti shared an uneasy look. After a brief few seconds of inherent muttering, Ragetti turned back to his captain. “Two hours, we’d say?” They compared looks and both shrugged. “Maybe. At the most, o’ course.” “And I’ve been here a week,” Barbossa replied. He slid his tongue over his teeth as he closed his eyes and tapped his fingers against one another. “That’s a hundred and sixty-eight odd hours here…for your two hours there. That’s eighty-four hours for every one hour. Which means-” “You want to divide that by six!” Pinkie suddenly squealed. “Then it’s just fourteen hours in Equestria for every ten minutes over there, which is waaaay easier to remember.” She pursed her lips and tapped a hoof against the floor. Then again. “Or an hour and twenty-four minutes for every one minute, I guess. Or forty-two minutes for every thirty seconds…” Even Barbossa found himself caught off-guard in the ensuing silence. Rarity, he might have expected mathematics from. Being a seamstress, it would be a very practical part of her livelihood. But Pinkie? He’d barely seen her do anything remotely impressive. “-would be twenty-one minutes for every fifteen seconds, fourteen minutes for every ten minutes, a minute and twenty-four seconds for every second-” Then again, the mare was a baker. And smarter than she seemed, to boot. She was making his head hurt now, and that was coming from a man who had a grasp on how most numbers known to England actually worked. “-we could try, but then that’s just getting silly. So fourteen hours for every ten minutes it is!” Barbossa bowed his head with a wide smile, regardless. Pinkie was right. It was simple, mostly; for every ten minutes that pass by in the Locker, near enough fourteen hours go by on his end. Probably. More or less, by his calculation at the very least. And by Pinkie’s too, if her logic was sound. The two other pirates stared back with absolutely nothing close to understanding upon their faces. “And that…means?” Ragetti began. “It means,” Barbossa goaded. “That we have a basis for time! We fell off the world at the same moment. Our ship went over and I came here. Yet you lot wound up in the Locker. Either that portal is broken and it don’t matter what we work out, or there's a pattern.” He looked towards the portal. “And we might’ve just found it.” Neither man could even begin to pick apart that logic. Not that they wanted to go against Barbossa – which they didn’t. And never would, if anyone asked – but they were no closer to knowing how to read, let alone add up the hours in the day and work ‘mathematics’ from them. A few hours at a time was their lot. Barbossa and the ponies could have made the whole thing up for all they knew. They wouldn’t put it past him and they didn’t even want to get started on the ponies. “Ye haven’t said why we’re stayin’ here though,” Pintel meekly spoke up. His resolve shrivelled beneath Barbossa’s stare. “Pardon the words Cap’n, honestly now, but ye wanted to leave yersel’ not even an hour ago.” “If we leave we’d be leavin’ Discord te go on his merry way! I don’t know if ye can stand te have yer mind and brain muddled beyond all recognition but I for one will not stand by as the likes of him deal a sordid hand to the likes of me! And what good men would we be if we didn’t deal with the beast when we had the means to do so? So nice and ready just beyond our personal portal, too.” “What ‘means to do so’ is that?” Rarity asked. “You haven't explained anything.” Barbossa turned back to her. He addressed them all as a group, human and pony alike. “Ye’ll find out when ye need te know,” he briefly scolded. Conversation over. “Now! We have ten minutes te get our hides through that portal, find our men, get Tia Dalma and drag her back through here.” It was clear on the ponies’ faces that they had questions, but Barbossa carried on regardless. He wandered over to them, eyeing each of them carefully. He spent an especially long time on Rainbow and Rarity. “I’ll be needin’ one o’ ye te join us,” he announced. “As beloved and cherished by all as we are, I doubt there’ll be many men believin’ us if we make claim of what’s happened here.” Not to mention Tia Dalma. But, then again, you could never tell with her. She might have foreseen all of this. God damn her to all Hell and back if she had. “And why were you looking at us?” Rainbow asked, standing closer to Rarity. “Because, Rainbow, Miss Rarity looks very much like somethin’ we’d see in a fairy-tale. You don’t look like you come from anythin’ a sane man would imagine at all.” He pattered her roughly on the head. “Both could go a long way to further yer cause.” Rarity motioned towards him with a pained smile. “And our cause is…?” She was ignored. They were all a valid option, if he was being honest. None of them looked remotely like a real horse. None of them would pass for anything ‘normal’ if looked at by even the drunkest idiot. But Rarity’s likeness to mythical unicorn could prove useful. Rainbow would just prove that he wasn’t insane. “Oh!” Pinkie was very suddenly up in his face. “Take me! Please, I’ve barely done anything with you.” And then there was Pinkie Pie. Pinkie would just drive the other men insane before he got a word in edgeways. But then again… she was offering. The other two hardly seemed inclined. And Pinkie Pie did have- He was suddenly aware that the pink mare was still talking. He was very glad he had somehow missed this fact. “-pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease” She took in a deep breath. He was reminded of a fishing begging for water. “Pleasepleasewithcherriesonto -” He grabbed her muzzle and he swore to God Himself that he'd never let go of the blasted thing if he could. “Aye,” he said, his mouth strained. “If ye shut up long enough te get there.” She sat on the ground, wiped her hoof across her faced and mimed something ludicrously complicated that Barbossa had no idea where to begin with. He turned to Applejack. “She’s zippin’ her mouth shut and throwin’ away the key,” she said, tiredly. Barbossa supposed she had explained this to others before him. “Then hidin’ the key somewhere.” That was good, he supposed. He turned back to Pintel and Ragetti. Things were finally going his way. At least, as far as his current plan had been thought out. He had a team at his command, too. His men were ready and willing to obey him without question. So were the ponies, mind you. To a lesser degree, but still. “How we goin’ te get Tia Dalma through ‘ere?” Pintel asked. “She ain’t a very nice lady.” Barbossa put a hand on Pintel’s shoulder. “It just so happens that a grave misfortune befell me durin’ me stay here. A naughty pony ran off with yer nephew’s wooden eye and we’ll be needin’ her magic help on gettin’ it back safe and sound.” “What you on about? You just told the pony to hide the bloody the-” There was a brief click. Before Pintel could even finish, Barbossa was holding a pistol loosely to the lesser man’s chest. The entire room drew quiet. The good captain pursed his lips and looked to Pintel with a thickly worn frown. “Are ye sure o’ that Pintel?” he asked, waving the flintlock. “Ye be lookin’ a mite confused there. Surely ye saw the thievin’ pony steal your nephew’s eye.” He pointed to Applejack. “Hey!” Applejack yelled. Barbossa waved her to be quiet. Pintel visibly gulped along with his nephew. Suddenly, he wasn’t quite sure what he had saw. Lots of things had happened since he'd arrived. How was he meant to know what was real and what wasn’t? “N-now that ye mention it…” “Good man,” Barbossa awarded as he calmly stored away his pistol. “Looks like we’re set then,” he said, looking around. He motioned to his men and Pinkie Pie. “You three will be stickin’ wi’ me. We need te be fast and we ain’t got time dawdle. That means you, Pinkie.” Pinkie saluted. “You still haven’t told us what you’re doing!” Rarity exclaimed. She stomped right up to him, trying to be as tall as her stature allowed. “And ye shouldn’t be told until we’re back,” he explained. “As much of an arse as ye think I am, it’s for good reason; the least we can have Discord figurin’ out, the better. Ye said so yersel’; there ain’t nothin’ any of ye can do. All because the bastard prepared himsel’. And if he can do that te the Elements o’ Harmony then he can do that to whatever I have planned.” “Well…” She simmered, for a moment. he had a retort ready, of course. She was the most likely to go against him in any given situation. next to Rainbow. And most of the other ponies he knew. Finally, she seemed to accept the logic presented. She nodded to him. No rebuttal needed. Then she suddenly seemed to remember the maths that Pinkie had worked out for him earlier. “Wait. Wait, a minute. Are you telling me you’re going to be gone for half a day?” “O’ course not. We’ll be gone ten minutes. Ye’ll be the ones who see us gone fer half a day,” he said, grinning. “But believe me when I say we have someone in the Locker who could bring Discord down te level ye can handle. Ye won't be needin’ the Elements, ye wouldn't be needin’ yer princesses. Ye could just lock him away through any old door and toss the key.” Rarity’s eyes widened at the prospect. Applejack and Rainbow couldn’t help but do the same. It was all they had, at this point. But it was something new. Something horrendously promising. Her face, while unsure, held something brighter and Barbossa knew it would be enough to pull them along. Fluttershy seemed especially elated by his idea. Or perhaps she was just glad he was stabbing them all in the back? Both were entirely plausible. “And you really think this will work?” Rainbow asked. “This… whatever it is? Tia Dalma?” “Best chance I see. And since ye have nothin’ else, I can’t see the shot worth forgettin’,” he replied. With a sense of finality, he motioned for Pinkie, Pintel and Ragetti to come towards him. “Just be back here in fourteen hours. Or stay nearby." He didn't really care which. "I ain't sure what else we’ll need so gather any ponies ye can. Amass yerselves. Build an army if ye have to. Just be ready to have some magic on yer side.” The four ponies took a step away and nodded. And with that, Barbossa ushered his group towards the portal. He stuck close to them, until all were constantly touching. Then all five of them – Pinkie, pet monkey and all – vanished into the wavering light.