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Pumpkin Munch the bat pony finds a baby on her doorstep one day, and she can’t wait to show everypony in Ponyville. Nopony can resist a cute little baby, after all. And it’s not just any baby, either; it’s a changeling baby! A rare subcategory of baby, indeed. That’ll get everypony talking.
Hopefully everypony.
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This reminds me of the theatre class I taught this summer. In our big production, part of the plot has the main characters going to a club. In the script, this is the last line of the description: "The party is hoppin'." Our young students taunted and teased us mercilessly for this line.
The whole bit with Twilight made me laugh.
I love this and need more Pumpkin Munch in my life.
7646972 Theatre class? C'mon, Dubs, quit dorkin' :v
I died.
This was brilliant.
Look at my baby
My baby's amazing
Give it a pinch
"Ooh, it's just so adorable!"
nice
That was amusing, especially the stroke joke.
That sounded worse than I intended, but I refuse to change my wording.
7647519
I found your unintentional wording amusing and I stand by your decision :>
This is not how I imagined this story going.
Damn, Fluttershy can be a bitch when she wants to.
What with the part with Lyra, Bon Bon, Dr Hooves and Minutte? I don't get why that's there.
Ah, Pumpkin Munch will slowly take on responsibilities and stop going for attention. Nice.
Good story.
This was a cute little story.
7647746
It's not how I imagined the story going either :O
7647794
The Lyra, etc. scene is there to help show the range of reactions to Pumpkin Munch. It's to show some ponies are desensitized enough to Pumpkin that they instinctively tune her out.
It's as long as it is to poke a bit of fun at reaction stories like this, where sometimes the reaction scenes start out unnecessarily long with too much establishment. However, I did try not to dwell too long on that scene, even though the point was to dwell. I do hope it was right length. >.>
Aren't you usually only in a bedroom to sleep, though?
It was at that moment that Pumpkin knew...
That she done goofed.
Are you sure that it's not a Megaton?
I doubt anyone will get that reference.
When I read that, I thought that Pinkie Pie was going to steal Fluffy, and raise her as a Pie.
That's still the only thing I can think that that meant.
Thought the story was cute on the whole, but the Stroke joke was a reach. I wouldn't go around telling people that my wife had a John.
7648108
>3>
The idea was that Pinkie was excited to care for a child, not necessarily to steal her. Then, after a short exchange with Pumpkin, recognizes that Fluffy is really still Pumpkin's kid.
I probably could've handled that better, perhaps by making Pinkie not quite so excited over the Pie thing.
7648118
Yeah, which is why I had Twilight point out how convoluted Pumpkin's phrasing was. The point is that it's a really stilted thing to say for the sake of catching people's attention.
7648068 Well it seemed a fine length to me. Although as an improving author, I'm not sure you can take my word for it.
7648165
I do appreciate your opinion as a reader, and/or a writer of whatever skill level. If it seemed fine to you, that's still helpful. ^^
Great story.
This story is adequately funny.
7648118 Of course not.
You'd say she had Billy and Kevin too.
Ooooh, I get it.
It's about how many people see their kids as status symbols/social tools, and don't think about the responsibility of actually taking care of them, and thus end up neglecting them, so they go without unless someone more responsible steps in.
Biting social commentary, dear author. Well done.
Just one thing about continuity.
Lyra and Minuette went to the "Celestia's school for gifted unicorns" together, as classmates.
You can see from the Moondancer episode. Probably episode 1 too.
7648471
And it's got jokes, too! :v
7648611
Darn, I forgot. I went under the assumption their relationship was completely fanon. >.>
That's my bad :x
Poor Pumpkin, now you need to become responsible. The horror!
7648108 I was in Megaton once. It wasn't just hoppin'. It was da bomb.
Cute story, got kind of repetitive near the end though. And for as funny and well-written the scene with the Doctor was, it felt much too long for the one line casually mentioning Pumpkin in passing. Ending was great though, having that scene of "Oh wait I actually have to take care of a baby now" was a great choice.
Also, this story reminds me a lot of absurdist fiction and that's hopefully what you were going for.
7650159
Yeah, I hear you on the Doctor scene, but I'm glad you liked the story overall.
And yeah, I tend to write absurd-ish stuff.
Thumbs up for the scene with Twilight.
Hahaha. Ooooh I'm so using that from now on.
...Stroke was a better name than Fluffy.
Also, the first half of the story was better than the latter half, with her exclamation to Rarity "I had a stroke!" being the climax.
One more thing! I hate Pinkie for misusing 'literal'!
haha, i love your humor.
fluffy is a waaaay better name than stroke, but the humor!!!
7651817
But she's totally the type of pony that would misuse 'literal' :v
At first I thought this was going to be a felly story
Then when i realized it wasn't serious
I started thinking about squids cosplaying as samon
Awesome story!!
Now I just need MOAR!!! <3
Not sure how I feel about this...the ending just offset the whole thing for me.
7652962
Do you mind elaborating? I'm just curious as to why.
7653301 It was just sudden and random...
She is Fluffy Munch. End of story. #BestNameEver
I don't get that one. What's so bad about falling asleep in a bedroom?
There is only one explanation: That Pinkie is a
spychangeling!Nice story.
But somehow it feels somehow incomplete. Sure this story is finished already?
Found an error:
Don't let Twilight see that. You will never hear the end of it.
7698895
Thanks for the spelling catch! Fixed it before Twilight even noticed. >o>
That's the joke :v She doesn't realize a colour putting her to sleep would be a good thing for the bedroom.
Also, yeah, the story's complete. It's true that Pumpkin hasn't fully learned responsibility and not-selfishness yet, but by the end of the story, the resolution is that she chooses to start taking care of Fluffy. Like, actually taking care of her, and not just showing her off. She's still a flawed pony and has a lot to learn, but she took her first step to fixing that by the end, and so I do think this story has a somewhat complete arc.
Lol that's what I named my bird! I still don't know if it's a male or female yet; they're still too young to tell.
Has anybody seen my heart wandering around nearby? I can't seem to feel it beating anymore, is that natural?
Alright, jokes aside, the story was adorable. Good grammar, plus cute pony baby, plus bat pony, equals a Like, automatically.
7798340
I'm pretty sure it was on its way to the mall.
Found it:
7803987 Well, thank you for that. Between the dangers of getting lost, run over, or freezing, I have no clue what it was thinking.