//------------------------------// // Just Good Business // Story: Over the Edge and Over Again // by Perpetual Motion //------------------------------// Over the Edge and Over Again: Chapter 21 Just Good Business Barbossa spared a moment to glance around at Canterlot as his mismatched entourage moved onward. Despite their earlier fears of being set upon by hordes of – well, himself – there weren't any such duplicates to be seen. The streets were disturbingly quiet, spare for only the most outlandishly inappropriate sounds in the moments that Discord felt so inclined. Or perhaps in the moments he didn’t? That would certainly be the more chaotic of the two. The distinctly decrepit nature of the streets gave a good idea as to why it was so empty: either a group of rogues had already ransacked the place clean or a sudden hurricane had gone by completely unnoticed. Though with Discord at the helm, Barbossa supposed both outcomes were equally as likely. If the beast could manipulate the universe with the mere flex of his wrist, then surely a storm or two were not out of the question. “How awful...” Rarity suddenly said through the quiet, her tone low and sombre. “There's nothing left…” She was mostly correct. Windows were smashed in and rags littered the street along with anything else the pirates had little desire or use for. They were likely things Barbossa himself wouldn't have found much interest in. The casual clothes and knick-knacks lying around confirmed as much; they weren't that strange or intriguing. They were just everyday items. Rubbish. “There be plenty left,” Barbossa mumbled, though he made sure Rarity could hear him. “Just nothin' fine nor fancy. Enough te keep ye all goin'.” Rarity didn’t seem quite sure whether he was being serious or not, though it seemed that she couldn’t argue with his logic in the end. Even she had to have seen that it did all look a lot worse than it actually was. “At least there's no more Barbossas,” Pintel said. Barbossa growled at that. “I wouldn't take that as a blessin'. They should be everywhere.” Barbossa wandered at the front as the others followed on behind. The ponies hadn't spoken an awful lot since their trek had begun, but the captain wasn't complaining. He had other things on his mind; his leg still hadn't healed as well as he would have liked and his knee shifted uncomfortably with each uneven step he took. If he had to be picky, his hips didn't feel quite right either but it was far from painful. It was a nuisance more than anything else. “We should use the time to plan ahead then,” Rarity said with a touch of finality. The ponies nodded along with her. “I trust Twilight with my life but if her plan hasn't worked out then we need to do whatever we can to help.” Barbossa didn't say anything, the gears in his mind already turning. He only listened.   ☠   The ponies nodded again with smiles on. Rarity looked to the captain for his approval but it never came. He kept walking, his mind on other matters. Rarity was about to continue her pep talk regardless when Rainbow interjected. “That would be good if we actually had a way to help. How are we supposed to stop Discord if we don't have the Elements of Harmony?” “I...I admit that is an issue,” Rarity conceded. “But that doesn't mean we have an excuse to sit on our behinds and do nothing while Discord has his way with the world.” Though, she admitted, it did leave them without many open options. Their only experience with Discord was their previous encounter and Princess Celestia had given little to no indication that there was any other realistic way to deal with him other than sealing him in stone. Even if there was – of which there was certainly no guarantee, the princess was apparently a bit too preoccupied at the moment to tell anypony about it. Twilight's lack of a return certainly didn't help matters. If they had gotten something out of her absence then it would have been more than worthwhile. But they hadn't. They'd also lost her in the process, which didn't exactly do them any favours. She voiced as much and the ponies around her weren’t quite sure how to respond. It was times like this that Twilight often came up with a miraculous conclusion to the events they were suffering through. Some spell or riddle they'd overlooked. A hidden answer to a question they hadn't considered to ask in quite the right way. But then, it had never just been about Twilight. It had been about all of them. Their friendship was the one thing that kept them all moving forward. They were stronger together than they ever were apart, even if one of their friends was missing in action. “We can still pull through this. I'm not quite sure how right now, but if we work together on this then something is sure to occur to us.” Rarity turned back to her friends. “We've pulled through before when everything has seemed lost.” “Yeah!” Pinkie chimed in. “We beat Discord's scaly butt last time!” “We can totally do it again!” Rainbow added. “And I wish ye all the best of luck in yer endeavours.” Rarity's smile swiftly faded as she turned her eyes back to the pirate. He was wandering further away from the group, his two human cohorts in tow and the tiny monkey sat firmly on his shoulder. “W-what was that?” Surely, she had misheard. The man seemed to sigh as he came to a halt. He turned. “While I admire yer endurance and yer love of teamwork, it doesn’t quite fit me own rationale.” The ponies moved for him, more out of desperation than anything else. Rarity couldn't help but notice the creases lining her friends’ faces. Even Fluttershy, despite her already drab and scratched appearance, looked less composed than she had been moments before. “What are ya'll talkin' about? What rationale?” “Rationale, Miss Applejack: a set of reasons or a logical basis for course o' action. Or belief,” he added, a smug resting on his lips. “And right now, I don't believe yer own course of action quite fits me own idea of logical.” He turned away again and motioned for his men to follow, which they did. He even seemed to make a show of the action. The ponies stood on the cobbled streets for a few moments before they truly grasped what he was implying. Applejack called out and ran up to him before she cantered along at his side. “I know what rationale means!” She hadn't exactly, but she had certainly understood the implications of the word. Her lexicon may not have been as large as Twilight’s but that didn’t mean she was stupid. She knew the word lexicon, for a start. “And where do ya’ll think you're goin'?” “Home, o' course!” He yelled loud and proud out into the open air, his glare aimed down at her. “Why should I stay here and fight yer battles when I've got me own needin' me undivided attention? The only thing ye had goin' in yer favour was offerin' me a way back to me own world.” Applejack wasn't too sure she liked where he was going with this. “But as ye can see,” he waved his hand in Pintel and Ragetti's general direction, “I already have that. Moreover, why should I risk me own life, as well as two of me best men when there are creatures here more equipped than I am te deal with it?” He flapped his hands quickly through the air. “In case ye hadn't noticed, I can't fly.” “Or cast any magical spells,” Pintel added. Barbossa nodded, slyly smiling. As if there was a joke going around that only he understood. “Aye. Nor use magic.” “Neither can me or Pinkie! And we manage just fine!” “And what exactly have ye done to solve the current crisis at 'hoof'?” He tilted his head lower with the last word. He seemed determined to make as big a show of his betrayal as possible. That hurt all the more. “Last I checked, ye were strugglin' as much as the others! If ponies with magic and the world’s weather at their disposal can't stop a rampant God, then what hope do we, poor, impoverished pirates have?” The others had fully caught up, though they fumbled over any actual response they could have given. A part of them wondered why they wanted him to stay, but deep down they knew the likely reason; as much as had happened between them and the pirate, they had begun to trust him. They thought they had all become something close to friends. “Go on, I'm waitin'. What do we,” he pressed a hand to his chest and motioned to his crew and pet monkey, “mere mortal kind have te offer that ye cannot?” Rarity was the one who marched forward. It was infuriating that now was the time she truly realised just how much taller he really was than her. She had to balance on the tips of her hooves to get anywhere near his face. He leaned down, placing his hands on his knees and narrowing his eye with a grin. If there was such a comparison, she would liken it to an adult talking down to a child. Or princess Celestia putting a chancer in his place. She ignored both comparisons, sucking up her confidence. “Teamwork,” she stated, absolutely. “You obviously know a lot about that. Any captain worth his salt should. We all have our own talents and specialities, and anything we can add to an effort against Discord is a step in the right direction.” The pirate seemed to consider her words for a moment before he straightened his back and loomed over her once more. He looked over his nose towards the others before moving his attention back to Rarity. “Yer goin' up against a God, Miss Rarity; fine linen and stitchin' isn't goin' te go a long way. No amount of friendship or teamwork is goin' te change that. Ye have no surprises. No backup. No fail safe! If ye had ye would have announced it a long time ago.” He seemed to suck up every ounce of his own confidence. “I can't see ye gettin' anywhere with yer battle any time soon. Not with what ye have now.” He creased his brow before twisting his lips into a smirk. “And I have a meetin’ te keep.” He turned away again. It was only then that Rarity saw he was heading towards the castle at the edge of the city. “So, what?” Rainbow called out to him. “You're just leaving us here?!” Barbossa didn't turn to face Rainbow, nor did he give any confirmation that he'd actually heard her. At barely a few metres away, that was unlikely. Rarity could swear she saw a smile gracing his lips as her turned, however. This only made Rainbow louder. “This… t-this is all your fault!” her voice came out distressed, unsure of itself. She glided through the air and her hooves hit heavy onto the ground in front of him. She inwardly chided herself for such a harsh landing, and winced when she did. “If you hadn't freed Discord from the statue-” “Oh, I'm sorry, Rainbow. Next time I'm in Pony Town I'll be sure te avoid goin' into the castle I was invited to by yer ruler – abidin' by yer own wishes, I might add – te be on me way home.” He spoke calmly, albeit under a thin layer of irritation. It was as if he'd always known how to reply to her accusation. He seemed to remember something, suddenly, His voice grew louder. “I'll also be sure te not excite the God o' Chaos that I was somehow supposed to know lay trapped and waiting inside a statue that I had no idea actually existed!” He moved around her and kept on his way. Despite herself, even Rainbow had to admit he had a point. She didn't really have much of an argument against him. He was right. She doubted that she ever believed otherwise, if she was honest. Not really. And she felt awful for grasping at straws the way she was. She just wanted an easy answer. A way out of all of this. And end to their terrible story. Fluttershy was the last to try “Y-you would be hero!” she cried. The others stared at her with puzzled expressions but they all soon cottoned on to her line of thinking. “Of course you would,” Rarity continued. A part of her was upset she'd resorted to such tactics, but it hardly mattered anymore. “You could repay us for our hospitality and become a hero in the process. You'd be remembered for centuries; others certainly have for much less.” Barbossa didn't stop walking. “If we won yer battle, o' course.” “Well, y-yes, of course, b-” “And even then, what becomes o' me fame? What do I gain from being famous in this world and still little more than a common stranger in me own by comparison?” Rarity struggled for a moment. “You will gain happiness in the knowledge that you helped those who were in need. That will be your reward.” He practically burst out laughing. Uproariously and downright condescending. “I'm a pirate, Miss Rarity. I live for creating unhappiness if it gains me own gains.” The little unicorn's ears fell then; she'd expected such a reaction, but not hoped for it. “Care te amend yer reasonin’s?” For a moment she wanted to. The cogs in her mind turned and rattled as she tried to find a reason for him to stay. A real reason that would convince him to stay, at least. Nothing came to her that she could honestly see working. The pirates offered numbers and members of a team but…what else? And what did they, the ponies offer? What did any of them actually offer in terms of a strong offence? Or even a defence against Discord… Barbossa raised a hand in the air, waving to the ponies behind him. His pace kept even and the two humans at his sides didn't so much as turn back as they wandered away. Both of them looked about as confused as the ponies were. The monkey in his shoulder was calm and silent, comfortable with his master. “In that case, I once again bid ye good-” More words were on the verge of being said, but Barbossa was stopped as a colossal shadow loomed over the road. He raised his head expectantly at the new arrival, smiling snidely. The man eagerly turned on his heel and the ponies followed to see Discord behind them, blocking sight of the sun. A smug smile was resting on his beastly maw. Discord wasn’t anywhere near large enough to cast the shadow that now coveted the land but everyone did their best to ignore it. It was almost normal, given what Discord was capable of. “And a very fond farewell to you too, Captain.” A banner appeared on high from behind the clouds stating as much. It fizzed and popped with the sound of fireworks. “It has been a most wonderful experience getting to know you. We should meet up for a coffee one day.” The ponies took a very brief step back, staring up at the draconequus. Pintel and Ragetti watched in awe as Discord moved, their mouths falling agape with every motion of his near-serpentine body. He just floated there as he always did, but their eyes were captivated by the logical fallacy that was his every movement. Illogical, but factually present. Rarity was glad she wasn’t in their position. She, at least, had seen the monster at work before. “But you know, I suppose this is for the best,” Discord slowly added. “Your moment in the spotlight appears to be ending.” And with that, the entire world began to rumble beneath their hooves.   ☠   Barbossa looked to the sky as the colours and bright hues swirled and clung into a sheer dark mass of clouds, huddling together over the city. Crackles of green lightning struck down from the inky darkness backed by a laughter born from the buzzing electricity itself. If Barbossa was being honest, he found the whole ordeal rather unsettling. Specks of sand flicked at Barbossa’s face and it began to blow from all sides. As he blinked away the itchiness it began to form into heaps. It coated the ground, a beach-side city came into being, caught against a sea that didn't exist. Palm trees burst angrily from beneath the cobblestones and grew to full height, then even taller still. They twisted and gnarled towards the sky, stretching on forever as coconuts the size of carriages fell to the ground in their wake. They hit the ground and cracked. Eels and octopi and fish and creatures Barbossa did not recognise began to swim through the stone en masse. “Am I close? Is this what the rest of your world looks  like, Captain?” Discord asked, snapping several wooden ships into the air and letting them crash to the streets below. Shipwrecked on land without a single sea in sight. The sharks began to fly. “If it is, I’m not sure I’m too fond. It has the energy but the colour scheme is just so droll!” “It isn't,” Barbossa begrudgingly answered. “Hmm, maybe I just need to do a little more research on the matter.” Crashing waves sounded from all sides, yet Barbossa still couldn't see any water. Or smell the salt. Illusions of the mind, he hazarded. “Who knows, we might be able to teach each other a thing or two in the process.” Discord leaned right down towards the captain, smiling. Barbossa calmly took a step back. “I would have thought that a monster brought down by a herd of little horses wouldn’t be quite so high and mighty.” Discord adopted a confident smirk. “Well, that was in the past. Very, very far back in the past. I think you’ll find that I took some precautions this time.” “That so? I weren’t aware Gods had precautions te take.” “Maybe in your world, but we do things differently here. I took the one thing that the ponies could use against me and locked it away. Really, that should have been the first thing on my list when I got free last time.” Discord was on a bed, dressed in pyjamas. “I just got lazy, I suppose.” “Seems like the ponies would have somethin’ in their stores for beasts like you.” Perhaps they did. It would certainly make his plan easier. Maybe… “Oh, they really don’t.” Discord couldn’t help but laugh. Barbossa let the idea go. “Believe me, Celestia doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to this sort of thing. If she can’t lock you in Tartarus or send you away with a gift basket full of smiles and sunshine then she barely has anything left to fall back on. She likes to plan ahead. But you weren’t expected, were you?” Barbossa didn’t give the draconequus a response worth enjoying. He merely took another step back, calmly. “I'm growin' tired o' all yer games, Discord.” Now confidently. “Ain't too fond of yer manner, either.” “And what's wrong with my manner?” “Yer a bastard.” Discord only huffed in response and crossed his arms over his chest. “Look, if you don't like how I do things here then you know where the door is.” As if to emphasise the point, several story-high arrows emblazoned with lights and flashing bulbs pointed down from the sky towards the base of Canterlot Castle. The briefest spark of a smile formed on Barbossa's lips. Things were going well. “Quite frankly, I think we'd all be a lot happier if you got on your merry way. You're really bringing down the mood around here.” Rainbow marched forward a step, just about failing to hide her limp. “If anyone's bringing down the mood around here's it's y-” the mare couldn't finish. A carrot cheesecake had, by sheer coincidence and certainly nothing more, flown into her mouth. The force flung her back an inch as she landed on her behind. Discord smiled at the result. Barbossa had to admit the silence was welcome, regardless of how it was dealt with. “Like I said, you're a mood bringer downer.” A suitcase and duffel bag found their way into Barbossa's hands. He struggled with the weight as a cigar was placed neatly onto his lips. “And you do want to go home, don’t you?” Discord asked, though it was far closer to a statement than an actual question. “To sail the piratey seas, be with your own kind and what not. It's rather fortunate you have a way back, isn't it? The palm trees began changing colour, patterns and shape. Some stopped being palm trees altogether and shifted through the ground until a botanical pathway lead through a large portion of the city. Buildings tiptoed out of the way with much complaining and verbal profanity until everything settled into a new normality. It was only then that Discord seemed to really notice that there was two new humans present in his company. “Oh, my! How rude of me! Rarity, why didn't you say we had guests?” The white mare only stood there, somewhat caught that  her name had even been said. “The pleasure is all mine, little humans.” Discord reached forwards and shook their hands with both paw and claw at the same time. Barbossa chose to ignore the fact that two Discord's were present – yet, somehow not present at the same time in order to do so. “I am Discord. I'm sure your captain has told you all about me.” The two men didn't move. Their eyes were wide open and Ragetti's false eye was aimed straight ahead. They mumbled what could have been called an attempt at gibberish, but even they weren't too sure. Discord's face suddenly became less giddy. He gave Pintel and Ragetti a once over, squirming through the air looking down at them from every angle he possibly good – and then a few more just for good measure. The two men stood frozen on the spot the entire time, their eyes following the serpentine body looking back at them. Finally, he gave them a quick sniff before twitching his nose and tossing it far beyond the horizon. His gaze lingered on Ragetti for a moment longer before they grew bored. “Yes…well, I'm glad one of you was interesting, anyway. Twilight gave him a bath, too.” A suitcase appeared in Pintel's hand too, followed by a folded scroll in Ragetti's. Discord moved back to the air, looking over the horizon and the things forming in every direction. Ragetti slowly unrolled the scroll, leaning further back the more it revealed. In the end, it only held a map. A bright red spot marked with the words “Ye Be-eth Hereth!” within a maze of thin black lines. Barbossa took a gander himself. “A m-map?” Ragetti managed to ask. “Oh, no need to thank me.” Discord waved the words away. They drifted calmly away from him. “I know you want to get on your way, so I took the liberty of making the trip easier for you. Right down to the room number!” It was true. Away from the lines and scratches that made up the streets, there was a separate map connected at the side with floors and rooms marked instead. A single room was marked with a red cross in one of them. There also appeared to be several dozen restaurant recommendation. There was also a good winery not far from their current location. “Hardly yer usual modus operandi,” or so Barbossa assumed. It was how he wanted things, but it was too easy. Far, far too easy. But then again… “I'll say,” Applejack interjected. It appeared that the ponies had finally had their backbones tightened as they made their way towards Discord. Rainbow was still fighting her way through the cheesecake that only seemed to grow the more she struggled against it. “What have ya'll done with Twilight and the Princesses?!” Even Pinkie marched forward with a glare set in her features. Barbossa thought it slightly unnerving to see the bubbly mare anything but happy. He made a note to remedy that as soon as possible, lest he regret it. “Oh, nothing. In fact, they're having tea on the pirate ship. Your little dragon friend is there too. I do look after my guests, you know.” The ponies didn't change their expression, none too convinced. “Honestly, you ponies are far too quick to judge me. When I left, Twilight Sparkle was relaxing with a very nice glass of green tea. She's even playing a game of chess with Celestia herself.”   ☠   Twilight sat there, unflinching as the glass of green tea occasionally looked over at her. It sat on the chair to her left, mulling over the chessboard that she and Celestia had no intent on actually using. The pieces were set about as normal, with each of her friends acting as one of the pieces. She was the white side, while Celestia sat behind the black pieces. “It could really go either way at this point,” the glass of green tea said. “It really is quite exciting.” Celestia was much the same; rather unsure how to act around a glass of tea. It wasn't even a regular glass. It was pony-esque in shape and size, complete with eyes and teeth. All made of glass but hollow inside. Green tea was sloshing around in lieu of any of the usual internal organs a pony might have. Steam came from the mouth every time it spoke. The eyes were empty and glazed. “I can’t wait to see who moves first,” the glass said, it’s motions growing excited. “This could be the game of the century!”   ☠   “See? You really shouldn't worry yourselves.” Not quite sure what they were meant to be seeing, Barbossa failed to give Discord any attention at all and continued his march towards the castle. Pintel and Ragetti stood in a dumb stupor, unsure of what to do. They looked between Discord and the ponies before going with the sanest thing they knew. Catching up with Barbossa, the two men wandered along by his side as Discord spoke again. “Yes, that's right. Walks away, now. We don't want you here anyway! Right gang?” He looked down to the ponies for reassurance, but they did nothing but glare up at him. Discord merely shrugged his shoulders. “Either way, I do believe I have more important things do.” Rain began to drip from the sky, wetting the sand already scattered over every inch of available ground. It became wet and stiff, not unlike a beach when the tide came in. Colours spread as more and more droplets scattered over the ground. The sand became a layer of colour over the streets. A dirty rainbow over the city. “That's better,” Discord decided, wiping his paw and claw together. “Good luck with your plight, heroes. I know it’s all been rather slow going lately – and I am very sorry about that. Truly, I am. But I assure you, I have the most exciting things planned for this place!” Without even a hint of smoke or illusion, Discord was gone from sight. His massive form reappeared above the pirate ship, though the ponies hardly cared at this point. The meeting could have been useful, or worthwhile. It could have given them something to work with. But it hadn't. Rarity looked back to Barbossa, once again marching up to him as the group followed. The map Discord had supplied was unrolled in his hands as he gave it a stern looking over. “Ye remember the way te where ye came from?” he asked Pintel. A short moment of thought passed before Pintel replied, “A-aye, I think so. We weren't walkin' through many turns.” “We'll be ignorin' his map, then.” It was folded away into Barbossa's coat. Jack the monkey barely shifted as he did so. He hadn’t done much as of late. The captain took notice of the ponies wandering up behind him, their hooves shifting the coloured sand at his feet. He heard them stop, but he didn't offer them the same pleasure. “You're really just going to leave?” Fluttershy asked. Then he did stop, but only for a moment. A second passed, and then another. One more and he gave a curt nod before moving back on his way. “Why?” she continued. “I have me reasons, Miss Fluttershy.” He looked in the direction of the castle, eyeing the very clear path that lead straight to it. He then turned up to the sky and watched Discord work his magic on whatever distorted project he’d found to amuse himself with. Much to his pleasure, the draconequus was seemingly taken with something on-board the ship. Sparks and plumes of colour came and went from reality as the almighty child played with his dolls. “And yer assumin’,” he added, quieter than he had spoken before. “Wrongly, I might add.” “Assuming what?” Rarity asked. He didn’t answer but he continued his walk towards the castle. He vaguely motioned for Pintel and Ragetti to follow on next to him. Several strides were taken before he peered back at his entourage of ponies and slyly beckoned them to follow as well. With a mixed shift in emotion and a lack of anything else to do with their time, the ponies wandered behind him. When they reached the innards of Canterlot Castle, Barbossa made sure that Pintel and Ragetti were the ones to lead. He followed them in silence for the most part, mumbling under his breath with the occasional glance towards the space that Discord might still reside in. At least, towards the location he hoped Discord still presided. “What can’t Discord do?” Barbossa eventually asked through the silence. Rarity came out of a stupor, surprised that words had been spoken at all. Frankly, she had wondered why the man had beckoned them to follow. He hardly seemed inclined to help them anymore. He seemed set on the opposite. “I have no idea,” Rarity responded, tiredly. “He can do anything he wants, whenever he wants. Or so he says. I’m not sure we’ve seen anything that contradicts his little boast.” “Is he all seein’?” he tried, hopeful. “All knowin’?” Rarity actually had an answer for that, it seemed. “No! No, Twilight said he isn’t. She used that to her advantage when she snuck into the Castle.” That appeared to have failed miserably, but that wasn’t quite the point. “So if he thinks I’m leavin’ te never return, then there ain’t nothin’ to tell him otherwise?” All the ponies stopped there. They were all very careful to pick their next words. Applejack even chanced a glance out of the window to the world outside. Discord was still very much preoccupied. When the ponies looked to him next, they did not look happy, nor did they seem to appreciate his second change of heart. But then, neither did they look especially angry. There was something else in there that he definitely recognised, however. Hope. “So…wait, are you now telling us that everything you said back there was fake?” Rainbow asked, her jaw falling open. “Dude! Choose a side alread-” “Will he be any the wiser?” Barbossa reiterated, ignoring the question. Sides didn’t matter, Barbossa had decided. He was always ready to play for the winning team if it meant he could get his way. That was the way the world worked, and he was very willing to play the game. If upsetting the ponies meant he was closer to his goal, then so be it. If anything, upsetting the ponies would leave him in Discord’s good graces. It was fortunate, too, that Discord was growing bored with him. That wasn’t something he had foreseen. Regardless, some thing were just more important than keeping people happy. Revenge was high among them. “Not if we’re all super, duper careful,” Pinkie said with a dark gleam in her eye. “In that case, I believe we mere pirates may have somethin’ te offer ye after all.”