• Member Since 18th Jan, 2017
  • offline last seen Oct 16th, 2018

All Art Is Quite Useless


When I'm not writing stories, I'm writing essays. My keyboard sees fairly frequent use. University student, high functioning Rainbow Dash enthusiast, and satirical activist.

T

The Equestrian Inquisition have taken Twilight Sparkle for questioning. Usually, they would be deliberating over how they might conquer the strong princess's mind and force her to confess, but this time they have an ace up their robes.

They happen to be aware of her rather strong affinity for chairs.


Inspired by a certain scene in Triple Threat, as well as the Monty Python sketch of the same name.

Chapters (1)
E

After yet another heroic feat—during which Rainbow Dash saved hundreds of ponies from a terrible fate—Princess Celestia has decided that Rainbow is to be knighted.

Rainbow isn't sure whether she should be excited or terrified.

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T

Bob finds himself in the midst of a dilemma. On one hand, he’s spent the last twenty-something years as a human being. On the other hoof, the magical and wondrous lands of Equestria beckon.

Can Bob make his mind up in time? And if he does decide to stay, what adventure and companionship might await him? What might he find in this world that he couldn’t already have?

He’s only got five minutes to make his choice.

Chapters (1)
E
Source

For years, Sunset Shimmer has happily held her place at Celestia's side. She was her prized student, her number one prodigy. In return, Celestia was Sunset's world, her passion and drive. However, with time and age come change, and Sunset cannot take it any more.

She doesn't understand why Celestia won't look at her any more, why she is so enthralled by the talent and simple nature of her newest discovery. All she knows is that as much as she may aspire and hope, she'll never again be the object of Celestia's interest.

Sunset Shimmer intends to leave, and she has no plans of returning.


Written for Oroboro's Sunset Shipping Contest: Changing Seasons

Special thanks to Ceffyl Dwr for pre-reading as well as helping me to iron out the creases in my original idea.

Chapters (1)
T

Celestia, Twilight, and Starlight brainstorm methods to improve the economy. They're pretty unconventional.


Special thanks to JackRipper and Chapped Penguin Lips (and Disco) for pre-reading!

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T

It seems that no amount of stalling, negotiation, or bargaining will stop the council.

Since Princess Twilight's coronation, the Royal Council have insisted that she be tied to a Canterlot noble, so as not to lose their hold over the lands south of Canterlot.

Tied in marriage, that is, and they've got just the pony in mind, whether he's got a say in it or not.

A commission for Dusk Raven. Cover art here.

Chapters (3)
T

There's beef in the ends of Ponyville. Will T rise above, or will she get chiefed up by even bigger g's?

(I really should be sorry about this, but I'm not. Warning, gratuitous amounts of British slang ahead, read at your own risk. Curious about what the heck a roadman is? Linky link here.)

Cover art here.

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T

Sunburst has a new, unofficial title. He doesn't like it one bit.

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T

"I've thrown some pretty super parties in my time, but this one must be off the charts, cause two of my besties are finally trying to hook up! Wait, no, four of them are! Oh my gosh, they're all trying to hook up! ...Maybe this isn't the best party ever after all."

A fun and entertaining party at the Castle of Friendship takes a turn for the awkward (and strange). Rushed, predictable, and very forward romance ensues.

Chapters (1)
T

Rainbow Dash has no experience in dealing with doctrines nor demons. In fact, she doesn't have any knowledge of their existence. When she is thrust head first into a steadily building catastrophe, she will have to put her life on hold in an attempt to do her civic duty.

Discord, however, has a history with these creatures, being almost as ancient as them, but after three and a half thousand years encased in stone, he is feeling a little stiff. He also doesn't want to be stiffed, knowing that one of the ponies who incarcerated him in the first place will not release him lightly; not without an ace in her mane. Especially not Luna, she disliked him especially.

Luna knows a great deal of the past: Centuries of research and innumerous amounts of time spent delving into magics that no unicorn could hope to perform has allowed her that luxury.

The princess realises that those who do not learn from the past are destined to repeat it. She also wonders which of her companions will be the most difficult to control. The only thing she knows for certain is that her sister cannot catch wind of the situation arising, nor of her plans to suppress it.

If Celestia found out, Equestria would never survive.

***

"It has been theorised that this great land once had another ruler, one that shaped and molded it into the place we now know. One far older than our fair princesses and those who came before them, one that breathed our ancestors to life. Of course, no amount of theological discussion can lead to any concrete evidence, and the teleological debates regarding the extrinsic value of our own land and technology is inconclusive also. Epistomologically, we must assume that there is no greater power than the entities which we are aware of, until it is shown otherwise."

Swirl, Star. The Extrinsic Elements of Metaphysics: A Compendium of Theory and Conjecture. Canterlot, Royal Canterlot Library, 2988 ND. 3rd edition.

Chapters (8)