Sunburst winced, lightly gripping his bit bag in a light, orange aura. "Y-yes, I was wondering if you could help me find a particular title?" he sweated nervously, gazing at the salespony from the corner of his eye, face cast away.
"Of course. What was it that you were looking for?" the salespony --a young, petite mare he hadn't seen before-- asked in a lucklustre tone.
"I'll understand if you don't have it, but it is quite important to my work--" Sunburst cut himself off, averting his eyes. He hated visiting this particular all-purpose bookstore. Here, there were only two types of salesponies. The older, more studious types that would look down their snout and judge you based upon what you chose to read, and the young fashionable ponies, who would do the same thing, but for the opposite reasons.
The mare eyed him listlessly, waiting for him to continue. Of course, as fate would have it, he had found the latter. "I... I was hoping that you might be able to locate a first edition of The Introspective Musings of Garalph the Magus, if that wouldn't be too much trouble?"
The salespony choked a scoff back, it was badly hidden. "Sorry, could you repeat that?" she gave him a blank stare, "The title's a little wordy," she added, unnecessarily.
Sunburst was used to this kind of impertinence. It seemed to occur regularly amongst strangers, for reasons he had never truly understood. Were other ponies intimidated by his perceived intelligence, or did they just find him an unappealing bore? Sunburst repeated the book's name, feeling his throat tighten and his ears pin back.
The salespony appeared to be aware of his discomfort simply from the way she conducted herself, small snickers escaping her mouth as if she had momentarily forgotten her service training, and felt it acceptable to laugh at the customer. "Riiight, I'll go and see if we've got one in stock," unfortunately, being aware didn't mean she would do anything to alleviate it.
After her noncommittal and unenthusiastic answer, she walked away, heading for a back room. Sunburst waited until she was out of sight, then tried to release his pent up tension. A knot in his belly untightened as he flushed his lungs, before filling them with clear and invigorating air.
Sunburst had always been a little anxious around strangers, but the bookstore got to him especially. When he was but a colt, studying at Celestia's school, the campus bookstore had been one of his only reprieves. It had been the place to escape from the social pressures of studenthood --as well as his crippling inability to perform many complex magics-- and unwind with the company of a good book, and an equally good conversation. The library's lounge fostered a great deal of like minded ponies, and he had many a great discussion regarding literary theory and recommended reading, as well as contesting the best work of particular authors.
Sunburst was no longer a student, and this bookstore, the most comprehensive in the area, was not the haven that the one from his younger years had once been. To his shock and confusion, when he had first entered some time ago, trying to hit up a conversation with a worker regarding an enchanting story he had recently read, it had fallen on deaf ears. Some of the staff didn't appear to read at all. The vast disparity had upset Sunburst once, but he had grown to deal with it. Bookstores just weren't the environment to discuss reading any more, it seemed.
In the span of thirty seconds, the young mare had re-entered the room. "We have one copy left," she began, watching Sunburst's face rise in relieved anticipation, "But it's been pre-ordered already, so we can't sell it to you."
Sunburst's eyebrows narrowed, he was sure that was intentional. "Well, do you have any clue when you'll be getting more in? It's quite important that I have this text soon."
"How long is a strand of hay?" the salespony shrugged, her eyes lazily travelling down from Sunburst's to a popular drama book she held in her hooves, which she glanced at where she sat. Sunburst wasn't sure if she was actually reading it, she almost appeared to be zombified, her expression was completely vacant, and her eyes didn't appear to move along the words. Was this a tactic to get him to leave faster? Were they actively trying to lose customers here?
No, that can't be it. They just know they're the only store this side of town that'll get another copy in soon, so I can't go elsewhere no matter how much they aggravate me, Sunburst swallowed his rising irritation and managed to speak in a cordial tone, despite the ignorant mare refusing to acknowledge him. "Fine, if that's the case, I'd like to pre-order a copy for when you've restocked. You'll contact me when you have one, yes?"
The mare lazily glanced up from her book. Sighing, she placed it down before taking a pen in her mouth and proceeding to scribble the book's name before gesturing to Sunburst. "Namfpf andh addrhphess, prhease?"
"Of course, my name is Sunburst Zenith, and my address is--" Sunburst was cut off by a gasp.
"W-wait, you're Sunburst?" the mare asked, her eyes scintillating with wonder.
Sunburst cocked his head, riddled with confusion. What brought her back to life? "W-well yes, is that an issue?"
"O-of course not!" The mare practically screamed, a giddy smile on her face. "I'm really sorry, Mister Sunburst, you must think I'm so rude! Of course, I'll go and fetch you that book right away, just hold on."
The mare leapt to her feet, and suddently Sunburst felt even more uncomfortable, if that was possible. He had been prepared for another rude and emotionless encounter at the bookstore, but nothing could have led him to expect that the server might actually end up being nice to him, and because of his name no less. Not missing a beat, Sunburst held a hoof up, halting her. "Ah-- Are you sure that this is okay? I mean, I don't want another pony missing out on their book for my sake--"
"Of course it's okay!" the mare beamed, "If that old coot needed the book so bad, he should have come and collected it by now! Besides," she grinned, leaning in,"I'm sure a big, important wizard like you has much more use for it."
Sunburst allowed a moment for her words to sink in, and felt his eyes widening, awkwardly adjusting his cape and backing up a little. "Im-Important wizard?" Starlight flashbacks crept into his mind, he couldn't bear a repeat of that scene.
"Of course! You created the spell that saved the Crystal Heart and stopped the empire from freezing over, what else would you be?"
He wasn't falling down that hole again. "I'm not an important wizard," he stated resolutely, eyes hard, "And I didn't create any spell. All I did was help out a load of mages who are much more important and powerful than I'll ever be."
The entire sentence appeared to go over the salespony's head, who looked at him in awe the whole time. "All I know is that if it wasn't for you, the Crystal Empire wouldn't be around right now, we'd all be frozen! Sounds like some pretty important wizarding to me."
"Do you even know what 'wizard' means? It means a pony with magical power. I can use magic, but it's not powerful. I actually happen to be a magical adviser, I'm not typically involved in the casting."
The excited pony seemed to consider his words for a moment, then energetically shook her head. "Nah, still an important wizard. That's what everypony calls you now."
"B-but, I'm--" Sunburst stammered.
"An important wizard!" the salespony finished.
"N-no, I'm not, I'm a--"
"Important..." the salespony began, smiling with glee.
Sunburst's cheeks reddened. "N-no, I told you, I'm not a--"
"...Wizard."
Sunburst blushed; Sunburst scowled. After a few seconds of consideration, and a brief moral battle, he sighed, softly muttering. "Fine, I'm an important wizard. Just give me my book, please."
The mare was gone and back within twenty seconds.
"You really shouldn't be so humble, you know," the salespony chimed, "You're a national hero!"
Oh, what do you know? Sunburst grumbled to himself, subconsciously counting out the bits in his bag, flicking through them with a delicate mental touch and taking note of each. When a piece of paper was thrust before him, he looked up curiously at the mare. "What's this for?"
"New policy, all sales go in the ledger with a signature now," she replied smoothly.
Sunburst levitated the nearby pen, neatly scribbling his name across the paper. When he was finished, he grabbed the wrapped book, placing it in his saddlebags. "There, is that all?" honestly, he couldn't wait to leave.
The mare's grin spanned her entire muzzle. "I'll say, I just got the Important, Wizardly Sunburst's autograph!" she squealed, hugging the piece of paper to her chest. "Wait till I show my friends this!"
Sunburst shot a glare at her before throwing some bits on the counter, leaving without another word.
***
Sunburst walked down the cobblestone path leading towards his house, his mind riddled with concern. Well, that was... Bizarre. What the hay just happened? I mean, honestly, does anything escape the rumour mill around here?
As he walked, he noticed a couple of ponies looking his way, gesturing in his direction, appearing to be in the midst of a clandestine conversation. Curiosity and annoyance prompted Sunburst to cast a subtle noise amplification spell, effective for his ears only.
"--Heard he saved the crystal empire singlehoofed... Apparently he turned down the position of duke!"
Another voice answered back. "Well, I heard he bested Princess Twilight in a battle of skill, and she tried to make him swear not to tell anypony! Thing is, she couldn't control Sunburst, so now she can't do anything about it if he does!"
"Really? I knew he was a powerful wizard, but to beat a princess? He's gotta be pretty dang strong."
"I know, and so humble too! I heard they offered to build a statue of him, right next to the Great and Honourable Spike the Brave and Glorious's one, but twice the size, but he turned it down to save the crown bits. Powerful and caring!
Sunburst wasn't sure whether to roll his eyes or be sick. He hurried on before the urge to turn around and say something consumed him completely.
***
Sunburst shut the door behind him before letting out a heavy breath. He had taken a scenic route, so as to avoid the majority of ponies, but still managed to overhear two more wild stories, as well as a filly's comparison between Starswirl the Bearded and himself.
Growling, Sunburst deposited his saddlebags on the dining room table, not bothering to unpack, favouring an early visit to his bed. When he arrived at his bedroom, the simple furniture beckoned to him, and he eagerly obliged its demand. Climbing deep into the covers, he reached for his latest evening book with a hoof, before removing the bookmark with magic and allowing his eyes to trail the various contours of the page.
It took him a full minute to realise he had read the same paragraph six times, and even still couldn't remember what it had said. The events of the afternoon were weighing too heavily on his mind, it was so surreal, so out of place.
How could ponies consider him to be important and powerful? It couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, a pony making that assumption, and his impulsive reaction to it, almost led to him not being able to rekindle one of his oldest and most important friendships. When he looked back at that moment, he shunned his past behaviour, wishing he had come clean faster.
Sunburst considered the salespony's words some more. While he might have played his part in saving the Crystal Empire, she had failed to recognise that almost everypony else did the same thing, offering their love to the Crystal Heart as they did. While he might have provided the right means to accomplish their goal, he had not been the one to implement the plan. Of course he was proud of his actions, but he hated his own indecision, his reluctance to help, born from the lie that he had chosen to maintain in an effort to save face.
Sunburst was not a hero, to purport to be one would be completely immoral. There were other ponies more deserving of that title, ones that had put themselves in harm's way over and over, ones that had tried and tried to resolve a problem with limited success, learning from each failure, rather than being in the right place at the right time when all hope seemed lost with a solution already thought up.
Despite the fact that all he had done was share a little information, he was being treated as if he somehow special. Powerful and important, they had said, just like she did. The fact it had taken over a month for these rumours to start, he didn't understand. He wasn't even sure how ponies had caught wind of his direct involvement with the crystal heart's repair. Sunburst knew all he had done was what any pony with a measure of decency would have in his situation, and he barely even did that.
Yet he was still being treated like a celebrity. Like something he wasn't, like something he didn't deserve to be.
***
"Hello, Sunburst, did you wish to see Princess Cadence?" a guardspony asked, stationed outside the royal wing of the palace.
"Yes, quickly, if you wouldn't mind," Sunburst answered, attempting to sweep away the bags under his eyes. Try as he might, he hadn't slept much the night previous.
"I'll alert her straight away then," the guardspony nodded, opening the door behind him and making to walk through, before turning with a smile, "We wouldn't want to keep an important wizard such as yourself waiting."
Sunburst grit his teeth, shooting a painful look at the guard, who hurried off.
Seconds later, he appeared once more. "She's waiting for you, my lord."
Sunburst suppressed a sigh. "Good. Thank you for your help," without waiting for a response, he trotted on through.
He spotted Princess Cadence quickly, and was glad to find her alone. "I hope this isn't a bad time, your majesty."
"Not at all, Sunburst. What's on your mind?" Cadence asked, a placid smile on her face.
Sunburst hesitated. "Well, you see, it's, erm--"
"Take your time, Sunburst," Cadence said, "I'm in no hurry here."
"Thank you," Sunburst breathed, reevaluating for the umpteenth time just what it was that he wanted to say. Finally, when he felt that he had strung together enough words in his mind to form a sentence, he tried to voice his concern. "I recently became aware that a large number of ponies throughout the Crystal Empire believe me to be some kind of hero, or saviour."
"I see," Cadence commented, still smile clad, "And this bothers you, I presume?"
"Well, it's not just that," Sunburst admitted, scratching the back of his ear with a hoof. "The ponies seem to have decided that I'm some kind of powerful mage, and I'm perplexed as to why. I mean, honestly, it doesn't make any sense to me, and I don't feel deserving of it."
"What exactly do they say?" Cadence leaned forwards, listening intently.
Sunburst leaned forwards in return, lowering his voice, as if afraid someone else might hear him say it. "They call me an important wizard, and they tell these strange and fantastic stories about me. They say I'm more powerful than Twilight and a greater magician than Starswirl, but that's preposterous!" Sunburst felt a strange irascibility rising in him, as did his volume rise, "To think that ponies are comparing me to one of the greatest unicorn mages alive, it besmirches his name! I'm not worthy of this adoration, and I don't want it! Once upon a time, nopony even knew who I was, and honestly, I think I preferred that!" panting, he lowered his voice, gazing apologetically, "I'm sorry, princess, I don't mean to shout, but it annoys me so much!"
Cadence took a second to think over what he said, before standing, beginning to pace around the room in delicate strides. "And you think that you're not important? Sunburst, you're the Crystaller, and the future Princess of the Crystal Empire's magical adviser! You have been trusted to teach the first naturally born alicorn to use magic! Do you really think such a role, paying such a key part in my daughter's development, isn't important?"
Sunburst looked down at the floor, he hadn't meant to infer that. "O-of course I don't, princess, I know that it's important, but I think I'm communicating my issue in the wrong way. My problem isn't with ponies considering my role as an important one, it's with them believing that I'm actually a mage of any renown, and making these wild stories about me!"
"Is it really a problem?" Cadence asked, turning to look at him, "If anything, you'll command the respect suitable for your station, I doubt that could be an issue?"
"But that's not it either!" Sunburst frowned, looking at Cadence directly, "Surely you know what I'm talking about, princess. You know as well as I do that in truth, I'm not all that powerful. I can't perform strong and complex spells, I merely know a lot about them."
"Sometimes, knowledge is power," Cadence responded, her tone tranquil.
"Don't give me that," Sunburst snapped, Is she mocking me? "You know it isn't the same thing. Put it this way: What would really happen if I participated in a magic duel with Starlight, Twilight, or even you or your husband? I would very quickly and convincingly lose, because I'm not powerful, and I'm not a wizard. In fact, I only have a good command over a handful of spells! The kinds of things a pony like Twilight might have mastered when she was a filly, I still struggle to perform now!"
"Whose to say that you're not powerful in your own way? The position you hold in my court is high, does that not count for anything?"
"Look, with all due respect, Cadence, please cut the shit," Sunburst snapped, eyes narrowed on her, "We both know you're dancing around every word I'm saying, so can you please just do me a favour and try to help me out here?"
If Cadence had been shocked or upset due to Sunburst's sudden change in tone, she didn't show it outwardly. Instead, she stopped pacing, and settled for sitting in a chair, facing Sunburst. "Fine, let's talk about it. In my honest opinion, you're making a big deal out of what basically equates to a few silly stories, I don't think you should worry about it so much."
Sunburst closed his eyes. "I'm a simple stallion, Cadence. I don't want ponies staring at me in the street, I don't want them whispering about me. I don't want ponies to treat me differently for a load of false reasons... It doesn't feel right, to be idolised like that."
"The ponies of the Crystal Empire could always use a hero." Cadence commented, her voice still soft and calming, though its effects were currently being stretched thin.
"They already have Spike," Sunburst bluntly stated, "Why would they need me too?"
"Because Spike isn't here all the time, Sunburst, and your heroism serves to remind the Crystal Ponies that there are dangers around us other than King Sombra, which is an important thing to be aware of."
"My heroism?" Sunburst spat, staring fiercly at Cadence, "Don't make me laugh. All I did was tell you how to cast a spell, you did all the work. And as a result, I'm the one that's exalted and praised? Where's the justice in that? It's all a big lie, and by participating in that lie, I'm more deceptive than good. And let me ask you, where are everyone else's commendations? Twilight and her friends fought to stop the empire from freezing over, you, your husband, and even the princesses stepped in, and I'm the one who is remembered for it? Why?"
Cadence answered instantly, as if it was an obvious question. "Because, without you, we--"
"I almost stayed at home, you know?" Sunburst barked, catching Cadence off guard, "I almost stayed at home and left everyone to freeze to death. Do you want to know why I did that, princess?"
Cadence was silent for a few moments. When she spoke, her pristine voice was fractured. "Why, Sunburst?"
"The same lie that's plaguing me now. Do you know how humiliating it is, walking down the street and hearing your name praised as if you're some kind of god, but deep down you know that you can barely lift the table to sweep with your magic? I didn't, until yesterday. Back when the empire was freezing over, or rather, just before, Starlight came to my door. We hadn't seen each other in almost twenty years. She was convinced that I had become something great, that I had utilised all of my magical potential, and really achieved something with it," Sunburst paused, chuckling, "You know what? She was half right. I used all of my potential, turned out it just wasn't that much."
Cadence pawed at the ground as she listened on, empathy in her eyes as she looked upon Sunburst's fluctuating anger.
"And I, like the idiot I am, decided to play along, to pretend to be something I wasn't. And you know what? In doing that, I drove her away. She was too afraid to open up to me, because I acted as if I was too busy to spend time with her. Then, when she came to fetch me, hoping that I could help you all, my admission crushed her hope. You know, if I hadn't changed my mind, her last thoughts might have been on how I let her down, how I lied to her about who I was. Lying almost cost me a great deal, my guilt and self deprecation almost got all of us killed, and now I'm expected to continue in the same manner?"
"The important thing is that you came around, Sunburst, please remember that."
"Every time I heard a pony say my name today, it was only to remind me of all the things I always wished I could be. The things I could never be. When I got my cutie mark and went to Celestia's school, I envisioned great things for myself. In the end, I got nothing."
Cadence's voice became stern. "Nonsense, you got to reconcile with your oldest friend, you have an important role in the Crystal Empire, you're trusted and respected."
"But still... It doesn't feel right to act as if I'm this important wizard, when really I'm anything but that."
Cadence let loose a small, musical laugh. "Sunburst, do you really think that Spike the Brave and Glorious saved the Crystal Empire?"
"Well, yes, that's what I've always heard, and--"
Cadence raised an eyebrow. "Really? A baby dragon took down Sombra all by himself? I mean, granted, he helped, but he wasn't the sole hero of that story by any means. So why is there a statue of him in the city centre? Why is he revered as he is?"
Sunburst put a hoof to his beard, slowly stroking it. "I... Honestly don't know, princess."
"It gives them hope, Sunburst. If King Sombra, the mighty sovereign that enslaved an entire nation, can be defeated by none other than a baby, wingless dragon, what reason is there to fear him? Not only that, but why can't any crystal pony do the same?"
Sunburst was silent for a second. "Huh. I've never considered it from that perspective."
"You think the Great and Powerful Trixie is really all that strong? It's essentially a misnomer. Trixie performs for an audience to bring magic and wonder into their lives, it has nothing to do with her magical aptitude."
"But, surely some ponies who earn their titles are worthy of them, right?" Sunburst asked, unsure, "I mean, what about Princess Twilight? Her alicorn ascension was due to her good acts, and she earnt her wings and title through that!"
"Princess Twilight is a bad example," Cadence murmured.
"How's that? She runs her own kingdom now, I'd say that's a more than suitable reward for her good deeds."
"Princess Twilight doesn't run a kingdom, Sunburst, she runs errands. That's the truth of it. The truth is, Sunburst, our society is a diarchy, Celestia and Luna are its rulers. While me and Twilight might have some sway in our own lands, ultimately, all decisions fall to Celestia and Luna. Twilight's castle appeared magically and inexplicably, but even the map inside only provides her with problems suitable to her station, below Celestia, just as I am."
"Didn't she foster relations with Yakyakistan without informing the princesses?"
Cadence's eyebrows straightened. "As far as I can tell, Prince Rutherford's dominion expands over a single village in a snowy mountain, I'd hardly call that a highly important diplomatic process. Of course, it helps that the yaks aren't our enemies, but a pony like Celestia would be more suited to communicating with an established nation, such as the Changeling Hive. Don't you see the difference?"
"Yes, but I don't see your point," Sunburst replied unsurely.
"There's a reason Celestia chose to aid me and Twilight in our ascensions, she considered us to be deserving. But there's another, too. When an entire country has been ruled by two immortal goddesses for so long, having the everyday pony perform a miraculous feat every now and then makes the princesses feel a little less alien. In other words, if ponies feel like there are regular unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies that can do what the princesses can, and succeed where they fail, they're less opposed to having them on the throne. Our ascension factors into that too, it shows that any pony can indeed become an alicorn, should they have earnt it."
Sunburst's eyes widened, it was beginning to make more and more sense each second. "But, if that's the case--"
"Starswirl was much like you, Sunburst. Celestia told me that, not long after everything that happened here. Apparently, he didn't have the intense magical ability of an alicorn, or even close to it, but his magical knowledge was unrivaled. He likely would not have called himself an 'important wizard' either, much for the same reasons that you've stated, but he is considered to be one of the most brilliant unicorn minds that ever lived to this day. She told me she was wrong to have not paid you more attention when you attended her school, and that you were capable of great things, you had demonstrated that."
"She... Really said that?" Sunburst gaped, taken aback.
"She did," Cadence sighed, "Honestly, Sunburst, I understand your trepidation, surely it's not an easy thing to hear, considering your past. But really, I suggest that you embrace it going forwards. Think of yourself as a brilliant scholar, one that will likely continue to push boundaries and make new discoveries for as long as he lives. And hey," Cadence smirked, "You may not have bested Twilight in a duel, but you definitely showed her something she couldn't work out on her own, and that's an achievement in of itself."
Sunburst laughed softly, feeling a grin pulling at the edge of his muzzle. "Yeah, I guess it is. So, you're saying I should just roll with it, then? Learn to accept it?"
Cadence looked at him sincerely. "It would be much easier if you could. Ponies look up to you, Sunburst. I'm no fool, I know my subjects discuss Flurry Heart, they worry she might be a danger to the empire. If they believe that you're all powerful, they'll soon forget that concern, and things will be simpler for all of us, don't you agree?"
Sunburst considered her words, then smiled with the beginning of a newfound confidence. "I think you make a good point, princess."
"I think I do, oh wise and powerful one." Cadence replied, straight faced.
They looked at each other for a moment, speechless.
Then they both burst out laughing.
*Three months Later*
Dear Starlight,
Those photos of you and Maud were hilarious! I really liked the one where her expression changed a little. Thanks for sending them. I hope your post-grad studies are going well? How's Trixie, by the way? If she's coming to the Crystal Empire any time soon, introduce us? I'd like to see her perform at some point.
By the way, a little bit of important wizard business has come up, I was wondering if you could help me take care of that? Basically, a group of ambitious unicorns at the Crystal College have managed to create a localised window to five seconds in the past. Every time they get close enough to close it, they get sucked back to a time in which they haven't closed it yet.
Honestly, the window's pretty much redundant, seeing as that's all it does, but if you'd be able to swing by and give me a hand with it any time soon, I'd be eternally grateful. I realise this is like the fourth time I've asked you to do this now, but hey, that's life for you, huh? Hopefully, the next time we meet up won't be due to one of these circumstances.
Then again, if the journey (and spending all day pretending to be me) tires you out too much, you can always spend the night again? I'll get the guest room made up again, and I can show you around the empire a little the next day? I know your studies have been pretty intense up till now, but here's hoping.
I really do miss you. Things have been great here lately, but it'd be nice to spend some time with my closest friend again. I guess that's the only problem with being a hero, right? Ponies expect you to be around to save them all the time, but really, you're the one doing the saving, and, well, you know.
On the plus side, Flurry appears to be developing well! She's starting to get a basic grasp of how to control her magic, but she's prone to sudden outbursts when she's upset. I mean, it's nothing a big, important wizard can't handle, but you know. (Have I done that one to death yet?)
I think that's just about everything. Let me know if you're free to help, and if you've got plans of staying in the Crystal Empire afterwards, and I'll get everything set up. Thanks again, and I'll look forward to seeing you soon!
Love,
Sunburst.