BigMacintosh1
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I am open to comments if you want and at least comment before you give it a thumbs down. I worked hard on this and I need the criticism. Please just comment!!
ill add to my read later. it sounds pretty good
I'd warrant a guess that people were mostly bothered by:
1. The lightning-fast pace.
2. The unexplained OC out of nowhere.
3. The below-average mastery of grammar.
2177368 in that case MACINTOSH NERD WARNING
1)Totally OOC
2)Where was Caramel it was supposed to be a three way
3)Grammar I'm not one to talk but still
did you get a prereader other then that good job
Thank you for the input yes it was a little rushed I will smooth it out a little later. Plus there is more to come. Star Saber is in my other story and depicts his life story. I will have this story tie into my other story twilights true love. This is a personal excerpt from star saber but I will not leak it all you will have to wait for both stories to be finished. I have a friend who is currently helping me get the sex part but besides that it should be done soon. Yes my grammer is horrible though it is mainly for you to see the motions and not tell much of a story. Caramel is in the second and third chapters number one because we were going to add him in to make a three way. Yes it says three way, note the word incomplete for those who judge too quickly. You don't just start a three way unless leading to it and I hear caramel likes ponies that don't have a virginity thus losing the virginity part and he wants to get worked up first kind of like watching porn. He wants to see what he has to work with and caramel is a real person helping me with this too. That and I know a guy named Mel and I call him Caramel sometimes. Not a fetish just a nickname. Again thank you for the comments I will hammer out the details later ok thank you and have fun.