• Member Since 28th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

chief maximus

Why do I write? Because I can't draw! I write mainly as an outlet, and don't take it too seriously. If you like what I write, awesome! If not, that's cool too.


Working in a nation of ponies wasn't all bad. As a migrant worker from the small kingdom of humanity, the Apples were kind enough to pay you a decent wage, and let you live in the hay loft of their barn. It wasn't the Waldorf Astoria, but you've made it into a cozy little homestead. Most of the money you earn is sent back to your wife and son, but after a visit from a certain prince, you realize there are other services you could render for a considerable sum.

Hooray 2nd person HIE!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 20 )

Ah. I had a good chuckle from this one! This is a fine piece of literature and it shall be graced with a like and a favourite.

Great story man! Just what I needed to recover from the con.

That was a long way to go.

You worked your way backwards, didn't you?

6309512 started with the picture, then the punchline, the reversed. So yes.

6308828 the actual dire straights video might be more 80's than the actual 1980's

6309036 glad you liked it! I saw some of the vids, it looked like fun!

6309542 My liver is still recovering. Still want some MacDash from you... maybe Princess MacDash?

I could probably manage something. Maybe mac waking up with wings and a horn and such.

In fact, your wife and son were granted an audience with the royals themselves! Where they then explained how you were bestowed the official title 'Lord of Hand Jobs'.


you.. what.. how... why... that was great :rainbowlaugh:
well, it was too late to change the name when it begun, so yeah.

6310647 No thank you :pinkiesmile:

:rainbowlaugh: Gawd, I LOVE wordplay fics. This was great. I BET his wife was thrilled. To find it wasn't what she likely thought was something else no doubt BEFORE said explanation took place. :rainbowlaugh:

I feel like it crash ended a bit, but it was nonetheless an enjoyable read.

I like how ponies in this universe get ticks. It's a little detail that makes way for a lot of world building when you think about it.

This made me think of Dire Straits the moment I saw the title. :rainbowlaugh:
I will have to read this later.

Where they then explained how you were bestowed the official title 'Lord of Hand Jobs'.

Eh!? Wow! Wow! Wow! Is this chump tryin' to steal my title!?
There's only one Lord of Hand Jobs around here, and that's me! I challenge this motherbucker to a hand off! We'll see who the HJ king is around here.

Is there any microwave ovens in this story?

That was great. Dammit, Mac, you daft sod! :rainbowlaugh:

Also thank you for having a story where stallions also receive bellyrubs. Not enough of that on this site.

I think I know what career his son is going to go into...and maybe his wife.

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