Caramel had a lot of things, love, happiness, a nice job until his world was wrecked by one big secret. Scared and alone after running away from his home, Caramel finds Big Macintosh, A Stallion who just wants to talk to and befriend Caramel. Little does Caramel know this friendship will blossom into something so much greater.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Oh, God. A ship fic...
I'm not downvoting, that would be unnecessarily mean, but seriously. Come on.
2763905 I did say if you don't like it don't read it :p
2763905
listen you fedora hauling jackass
1. no one asked for your shitty opinion
it's like running up to a couple with a baby and saying "i never want kids" and running away
wtf are you doing no one gives two flying fucking shits what you think and they arent here to cater to you you self-entitled asswhistle
2. "oh no someone ships something i dont like let me minge about it on the internet.com"
well what a shame
you arent a furry thats cool man
but dont bash on people who are that makes you a dick droplet so shut the fuck up and leave this person and their fanfiction alone and stop trying to make yourself sound important and privileged ok goodbye
The pacing and wording seems a bit awkward. Story has potential, but it polish with the writing. I'm sorry I'm not a good critic, but yeah, something about the way it's written doesn't feel like it "flows" properly
2764507 Nah, you're fine. Thanks for the help! I'll take another look at it and see what I can do from there.
There are so many words that are needlessly capitalized. Stuff like "her" and "colt" only get capitalized if they're at the beginning of a sentence.
2766194 Meh that's what I get for trying to write/proofread at like 2 in the morning, thanks!
2769146 hey please tell me your not quiting on this story cause i like it so far mattere of fact it is nice to see a new story start and forget those who dont like it i think its a good start and a caramac...... well im a caramac fanatic so i like all caramacs instantly but this one seems good and yes its not quite smooth but i like it so please make a new chapter cause i feel like a giddy filly!!
2770206 OF COURSE I WOULD NEVER QUIT ON THIS STORY! What made you think that? Oh and expect a new chapter either end of this week or sometime next week. Ps. I love Caramac too~
2775624 well its just thaty some caramacs either never get finished or a story is cancelled and then i get upset and cry cause they are what i liv for on this site. thanks for continuing!!!
2775717 Welcome
love it already!!!!!
the story itself is all right, it just seems a little too rushed in my opinion. I also think that you should add more detail to give the reader a better visualization of what's going on. other than these minor details, the story is great.
I'm a bit confused at times reading it at times. The flow is somehow...not smooth. I can't explain it
2912335 Completely understandable, thank you for letting me know.
2857912 I'll try Chapter 3 seems to be taking forever... And thank you.
who was the mare?
3111713 I haven't given it much though... Pretty much who ever you like? I just wrote it as a mare, No pony in particular..