• Member Since 13th May, 2013
  • offline last seen Jun 13th, 2014

Laterna Waverka


T
Source

After tragedy strikes the Apple family, a teenage Big McIntosh is left alone to struggle with taking care of the farm. It soon becomes apparent that he simply can't handle the load on his own, but is just too darn stubborn to admit that he needs help. It's not long before the community of Ponyville step in to offer their assistance, but not all for the same reasons and certainly not in the ways that Big Mac had expected.

I would like to thank SirMagicHooves for:
- proof-reading Chapter One - Help prior to its submission.
- helping me decide to slice the original Chapter Two in half and add an additional chapter.

I would like to thank BigMacintosh1 for:
- inspiring me to broaden my imagination and knowledge with this fic.
- invaluable farming information that will come into play from Chapter 03 onwards.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 15 )

I'm pretty sure it's Big Macintosh.
Like the Macintosh apple.
:eeyup:

2584433
Actually, the name of the apple is McIntosh :eeyup:
There's a bit of difficulty with this because there's discontinuity within the actual show itself as to how the name is spelled and, after looking into all of it (ie, reading this: http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Big_McIntosh#Development.2C_design.2C_name) I opted to go with how Lauren Faust herself spelled the name. :twilightsmile:

This happened to a friend of mine at school, his second name being McDermott, but people interchangeably spoke and spelled it as MacDermott even though he was adamant that it should lack the extra 'a'. Oddly enough, as a nickname, he was always referred to as Mac D, with the 'a'. So, I figured that Big McIntosh's name is probably a similar situation.

Thanks for the comment all the same - it's great to see a reader pick up on details like that :pinkiehappy:

Hm. So far, I quite like this. However, I think you'd get a lot more likes if you were to join this and this and put it in one of their folders. Please continue! :pinkiesmile:

2585846
Thanks very much - I'm glad that you're liking it so far :pinkiehappy:
This is the first fic I've written for a while and my first venture into pony fic :twilightblush: any advice on how to improve?

Also, thanks for the suggestion of the groups - I've joined both and submitted 'Learn Me to Read' to both of them - it is very much appreciated :heart:

2585874 Well, I was thinking that maybe you could have added a little more build-up to the end of the first chapter, as before that you've only got the mention that Caramel wants to help Mac finish school, and all of a sudden we learn he has a crush on him. You could do with adding, say, a few of Caramel's thoughts in, like after he explains why he wants to help, something like:

“Oh!” Caramel's eyes opened wide. “Right, um, o-okay...” He started to compose himself and explained, “well, um, you see, l-last year I was, erm, I was... I was in the same class as Big Mac.” Suddenly he stopped. “Oh! Sorry! I-I mean... Big McIntosh!” Caramel looked at the mayor sheepishly, who motioned him to continue. “Well, I thought that it was really unfair tha-that Mac had to leave sc-school and I thought that I could help him catch up on, um, you know, education in m-my own time so that he could be g-good and smart like everypony else.” Finally Caramel stopped. He took in several deep breaths and focused on his fast-paced heart beats.

And maybe to get closer to him...just a little He thought, heart still racing, though not entirely from the explanation he had just given.

Y'know, just give a few hints as to Caramel's feelings throughout the chapter. It makes it a little more even and justifies the ending better.

I love the story so far keep up the awesome work :pinkiesmile:

2586269

Thanks very much for the advice :raritystarry: I'll have another read through of it tonight or tomorrow and see if there is any where I can slot in a few 'hints' :twilightsmile:

Also, thanks CosmicThunder for your comment too - it is very much appreciated :heart:

Ok first off let me just say this I want more!!! And second Macintosh is how it is spell in the English interpretation McIntosh is more of a Scottish derived spelling of the name so it depends on the writer how they spell his name but I always spell it as Macintosh. Third I loved it I want to see more of it and so help me god if you do not continue this I will harass you until you do I don't get to read many caramac fics!!

I like how you start to story, very interesting how you slowly weave together the story of the death of the parents, giving an explanation why :ajbemused: is so forthwith and why our Stallion is so introverted, in a sense. (as the only person he really talks openly to, as we've seen is :ajbemused:)

Caramel seems timid, or generally scared shitless, which would probably leaved his surprised (hence the grin) at receiving permission to work alongside :eeyup:. It's a good enough reason as any. I see you also took some of this "giving back" malarkey from episodes where :ajbemused: hasn't taken help or asked when needed and songs like Raise this Barn where there has been a strong sense of community.

It does seem a bit short, and it did leave me wanting more. Perhaps this is an adequate chapter length for something like this, as it's written well and includes "pony-isms" and you can see where the stages are at through this. I feel that it's a nice end to the chapter.

Anyway lovely all round, me wants mooooooooooooooooore :)

2588887
Well I am actually Scottish and that brand of apples are McIntosh - didn't know it was different in England - yay, I learned something :twilightsmile:
Don't worry - I definitely will be continuing with this :yay:

Also, thanks SirMagicHooves for your comment (and now that you've finally joined I can credit you for proof-reading it and weeding out some silly spelling mistakes) - not sure if I told you this, but this was actually intended to be a one-shot but after writing what became this chapter, I felt it would be too long a one-shot and would be better divided.

On that note, Chapter 02 will be coming very soon :pinkiehappy:

2596008 Please please please hurry with the next chapter!!! I need my caramac fix badly!!!!! Also that's nice well I'm not in England I'm in America but my relatives and all are from Poland my ma's maiden name is klisciewcz I know it's a weird spelling but it is definitely polish. I'm part polish and I own a farm also. The polish language ended with my grandfather because my ma didn't bother to learn some of it while he was alive. But yeah do you live on a farm or something cause if not i would love to teach you some things about a farm in order to boost your stories content about the certain jobs on the farm. Just message me if you wan to get to know me. :eeyup:

I smell one hell of a story a brewin with this one.

Hehe dream sequence I dream like that too sometimes. I give chapter two a big thumbs up!!!

The dream romance story was most adorable. It was a neat way of showing Caramels feelings for Mac as well as underlining his intentions once more for offering his help earlier. I feel bad for Caramel with nothing really going as planned, but watching how he'll handle the new situation as well as how Mac will be responding to him promises to be quite cute. I cannot wait to read more ^^

I suspect something may go awry. Hee hee.

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