That's a very disappointing ending. Usually a story like this should end on something that, after chapter after chapter of our protagonists being put through hell, gives them something to reach for. Some kind of hope or goal to work towards. You haven't given them anything. Or even really explained HOW things massively went downhill as fast as they did. And again, this is the first story. You should immediately try to set up the setting and environment and explain just how your universe veered off from canon. But there isn't a lot of that explaining at all. The story is just morose, depressing and sad.

5476048 Actually, a goal was introduced in the previous chapter, where Lilly and Anton realized that they had both shared an almost identical dream, and after some research they found it to point towards the Crystal Empire. Whatever it means is meant to be vague, to instead be explained in the beginning of the next story. Seeing his supposed brother commit these vile acts also spurs Anton into action in the beginning of the next story. Of course, the aftermath of this chapter will cause other characters to change and set up their own goals as well. It's not a good ending because it's not supposed to be one, it's supposed to be an incident that completely changes every character that had a part in it, for good or bad.

Crescent and Sawblade have had the same goal all along; get out alive, get to The Heart(Ponyville) and alert them of what is happening before it's too late. I was going to introduce a "mystery character" at the end of their arc in this story, but couldn't find a good way of doing it. Again, that'll happen in the next story.

Originally, I was meaning to end this story at the Crystal Empire itself, but realized that it would add too much to the final parts of an already long story. I've said previously that most of the things that lead up to this story would be explained at the right point when Anton came into the story, because, naturally, he has no idea of what the hell happened. It was meant that these things would be explain in the Crystal Empire at the end of this story, but as it now stands, it'll happen in the next one instead.

5476096

I sure hope you've got one excellent set of explanations for why everything went down the crapper.

Your story has been reviewed by the PCaRG

Review can be found here.

This chapter was a really epic epic (yes I meant that being typed twice) chapter! I've come to love the characters even more, but I think I really come to like Sawblade as a favorite character, Crescent coming in second, and Lilly third for me. Although Lilly has a deeper back story, I really like the adventure you take us through with both Sawblade and Crescent as survivors through the cold wilderness and just watching them face their struggles. Kinda like the Walking Dead with those two. I feel that is why I'm interested in them mainly Sawblade so much.

The ending, to not spoil anything, was just very unexpected. I was thinking that there would be this definite haven in a world of sorrow and despair but I guess all good things must come to and end as some say. Again really good chapter, and I will now try keeping up with you on the sequel. Wonderful adventure from the first to the finish. Just wonderful. Each chapter was a movie in my head and was like a Walking Dead episode when I had to wait each week to see what happen next. The feeling that I would feel between those waits, just rolling around in my head to know what is going to happen next, you managed to keep that with me throughout most of the chapters and I really enjoyed that a lot.

Once again (for the second time, ha) really good chapter and really good story.

6024470 Funny you should mention The Walking Dead, since Crescent and Sawblade are kind of inspired by Daryl and Merle

6024679 Really? That is so awesome.^^