• Member Since 22nd Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

The Ranger

I try to be a friend to everyone I meet


Long ago in the mythical land of Equestria, there lived a Stallion known far and wide for his bravery and courage. From the frozen mountains of Vanhoover to the dusty plains of Appleloosa, everypony had heard of this Stallion at one point in their life, and the stories told about him could almost be seen as legends, since they held such a special place in the hearts and minds of everyone who heard them.

Yet nopony knew his name.

On a stormy night, a group of ponies taking shelter at the town inn are startled by a loud banging at the door.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 9 )

What am I doing with a stallion?

Hooray for bad jokes...

Creepy, tragic, and a little humbling. This was a great ghost story.

I liked it.
Liked it very much, I did.

4576152 I'm glad you did :twilightsmile:

Really enjoyable short story :twilightsmile:
Dark, with tension, interesting setting and ideas with the slaves and the moral at the end.

7834593 Glad you liked it :twilightsmile:

This is really nice. I'm glad I read it :twilightsmile: Toward the end, though, when:

Suddenly, The Stallion could feel the presence of more ponies around him, moving in the shadows, breathing, wheezing. He felt them breathe down his neck and into his ears, but he remained unaffected and calm.

That area was a bit underdeveloped. I get that it was meant to be suspenseful, but it could have been even more suspenseful with some more description. Now, this quote is great, but the next dialogue could use that description. Say, what the voices sounded like, what the area looked like, etc.
The story itself is one of the best I've read. :yay: Nice job!

Login or register to comment