Ten years after the events of Dust to dust, Equestria has fallen into despair, as the coldest winter in living memory strikes the land. With the icy winds, an ancient evil awakens..
So you've changed the setting, the premise of the entire world, the main characters are dead, the SIDE characters are dead. What, pray tell, is left for those that loved the original source material to gravitate to? This tale is morose, depressing, unhappy. Its cynical and coldhearted and unrealistic in how contrived things went downhill so fast. The story asks me to not think. To deny that things have been the way they were in Equestria for CENTURIES and to ignore cold, hard facts about how the world and its ways work. And I refuse that request because you've given me NOTHING to gravitate to. Worse still, you treat the most moral characters in this story, the ones who I SHOULD want to see succeed and make things right, like crap by KILLING OFF THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS HORRIFICALLY.
Do you not understand this goes above and beyond unnecessary? The entire story is like slamming a boot down on people's faces with its overly dark and grim tone. It's not "fun" to read.
I don't know how do you connect the major and side characters so well into the story. In fact, it is the art that made one of the big reasons why I read this story. This is what made it not only fun but interesting to read in general. Love the character development for this chapter. It was just a great thing. Never thought Crescent had a tender side either so I was with what Sawblade thought too.
You make the story very dark, but I love the fact the characters hold onto those strings of hope that carry them through the story. By those strings of hope it makes me read on to see if they all eventually meet their demise eventually or do they actually come to find it and have peace. One of the reasons I still love reading it. :)
5314825 Seriously, you always have something bad to say about this story...if you don't like the story, don't read it or even better, don't bother leaving a comment if your opinions will be crap anyway. I don't even know if you are trolling or just trying to confuse others but it seems like you did not read the story and that you, in fact have no idea about what you are writing. If you don't like it, don't bother commenting. All that time you use to bash on others, use it to achive something important instead of being rude. Now, I suggest you grow a pair (wich you clearly don't have) and grow up...thank you avd have a good day, bai!
My attempt at criticism is fair. There's nothing grounding those who'd look at this story to the old source material. And in fact, here's a very simple, easy way that this story could be improved. This entire chapter with Crescent? When it leads up to him finding Lyra? You know why it doesn't work?
There's not one scene. One chapter. One moment in the story where Lyra is present and he's with her. Talking, having fun. No flashbacks of him and his sister together. No meaningful interactions to lend emotional weight. If the author wanted to do this right, a better way would be to have several chapters in which we see the past, in which Crescent and Lyra are interacting, help us understand why he misses her so, and just how horrible it truly is that the person he loved and was seeking for for so long truly is gone. But because she wasn't in this story ONCE until now...it comes off like a Lian Harper. It's emotionally manipulative and not well done. You can't do this in writing. You have to build up to this kind of thing.
5316739 Actually, Lyra has been mentioned several times throughout the story. Not by name, but clearly as someone that Crescent loved and missed. As an example, in chapter twenty, Crescent had a conversation with Willow about why he carried a lyre, claiming that it belonged to someone very important to him, and he carried it around to never forget her.
Her identity was kept a secret on purpose, to let the reader develop their own theory about this Her that Crescent often thought about. She could'v been a close friend, a mother, a sister, or a lover. It was to make people guess and wonder. Furthermore, I'm working on a separate story about exactly what happened between Lyra and Crescent before all of this happened. Not to mention that they'll both show up in a second story where Crescent is a major supporting character, which takes place long before this, when the old king was still alive.
Characters develop, as does a story itself. Just because some things are bad at the beginning it doesn't mean they'll always be bad. Just because some characters are dead, it doesn't mean the every single one is. Things will always be bad before they get better, and that's what this entire plot is about; the refusal to give up hope, no matter how hard it gets. No matter what happens the characters refuse to break down, because they are all holding on to the dream of a better future. But it's always darkest just before the dawn, so to speak
The things that happen in the first out of three stories does not reflect the trilogy and its characters in it's entirety. In my view, it's a good thing to put your characters through hell in order for them to grow. Force them into situations that break them down. If the character can take it, they'll only grow stronger and develop. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, as they say.
There are no rules for what you can and can't do in writing, and you have no authority to say what anyone can or can't do in their work. That is up entirely to the person writing the story. Every person writes in a different way, and no one but themselves have the right to tell them what to do and not do.
Edit: And one final thing. You say there's no human. First, we have the character Thanatos, believed to somehow be the former king of Equestria that died ten years ago. Aside from that, there's Anton, the main character of the entire second part of the story. Anton Svanström, younger brother of Mattias Svanström, also known as Dust, Equestria's former king. Anton's been in the story for about six chapters. Almost 39.000 words were him and Lilly are the main characters, and his first chapter takes place only on Earth with several other human characters, including his girlfriend Jennifer.
So the fact that you say "There's no human here!" tells me that you haven't even read half of the story. Or maybe you'll try to tell me that Anton isn't in the story? That Willow wasn't the first pony he met after he was pulled into Equestria by some unknown force, right after seeing his assumed-dead brother? That he never saved Lilly from a crazed pony out to take her life? That he himself almost bled to death in the process? Try to tell me that nearly 39.000 words of the story never happened. Go on.
That's why I blocked you. If you're going to criticize, you should at least read the story before you do it.
"Actually, Lyra has been mentioned several times throughout the story. Not by name, but clearly as someone that Crescent loved and missed. As an example, in chapter twenty two, Crescent had a conversation with Willow about why he carried a lyre, claiming that it belonged to someone very important to him, and he carried it around to never forget her." So just one chapter ago and now this to indicate it was her?
"Her identity was kept a secret on purpose, to let the reader develop their own theory about this Her that Crescent often thought about. She could'v been a close friend, a mother, a sister, or a lover. It was to make people guess and wonder. Furthermore, I'm working on a separate story about exactly what happened between Lyra and Crescent before all of this happened. Not to mention that they'll both show up in a second story where Crescent is a major supporting character, which takes place long before this, when the old king was still alive." ...okay, nevermind. That's more forgivable.
"Characters develop, as does a story itself. Just because some things are bad at the beginning it doesn't mean they'll always be bad. Just because some characters are dead, it doesn't mean the every single one is. Things will always be bad before they get better, and that's what this entire plot is about; the refusal to give up hope, no matter how hard it gets. No matter what happens the characters refuse to break down, because they are all holding on to the dream of a better future. But it's always darkest just before the dawn, so to speak." They've been bad, depressing, unhappy and "Stomp the characters into the ground" for over twenty chapters straight. It's been over 70,000 words. And here's the thing: there has not only been ONE sighting of humans in this supposedly human-tagged Equestrian story, nothing has improved or even HINTED that things will improve. There's no magical source to seek out to try and revive the Princesses or any indication that any of the old family of the Mane Six survived or even any idea where the ELEMENTS OF HARMONY are. Remember them? Those things that are supposed to be living symbols that can't be destroyed, not even when Night Mare Moon broke them apart? Where are they? And furthermore, how did an invasion NOT get repelled considering one third of the population can fly, another third is super strong, another can do magic AND when you factor in the Elements of Harmony AND that there's more than just Princess Luna and Celestia as Alicorns? There's not really been any hint as to how that happened and again, I remind you, it's been over twenty chapters and 70,000 words. And you're going to tell me this is the first of THREE stories?
And no. It's NOT good to put your characters through Hell. Characters should grow through challenges that are natural and part of their environment, with things that put their abilities and character to the test, not just shoving a boot down on their face and demanding they get up, maggot. And don't tell me what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Maybe what doesn't kill you is just killing you slowly! The cliche is SO OLD, the response TO it is cliche.
And DON'T tell me there's no rules to writing. If there were, we would all loooove Uwe Boll and Stephanie Meyer and the like. Certain things are conventional because they work. There exist rules for a reason like "If you think being funny is a redeeming character trait, its not, because it means 99 times out of 100, they're an a-hole otherwise" or "If an antagonist does bad behavior your protagonist does all the time yet HE'S called out for it and not the protagonist, then you're a hypocrite". There are rules, man. Things you follow. Ways to write a story.
And again, because there is literally nothing left of the old Equestria within this story, not the side characters, main characters, nor even the elements of how the show worked...nor is there a human character we could gravitate towards as a kind of outsider looking in, trying to understand how and why things changed...then people who are reading this, like myself, don't understand what's left of the story we knew and loved. This tale comes off like the Highlander: The Source of MLP stories. You can't just do a story where you change EVERYTHING about the setting, characters and elements of the source material we were familiar with. How would you feel if they made a Highlander film where Duncan Macleod no longer trusted his friends, they were no longer in America but Eastern Europe, it didn't take place in modern times but after the Apocalypse, and by the way, the immortals aren't immortal anymore?
That's what happened with the film and that's the vibe I get from this story. NOTHING is familiar. And that, plus the lack of any humans in a supposedly human-tagged story, is REALLY bugging the hell out of me! And I don't understand how so many other people can ignore this elephant in the room!
5317019 ""The trolling is strong in this one"" Stop posting bait that makes no sence, it just looks like you are making fun of yourself. This comment clearly made my day, it was hilarious.
>>Trying to troll, fail's bad >>Trying to point out flaws that are not there >>Throwing a fit cuz the charaters are not the way you want it So much bait fishing
""You have to build up to this kind of thing"" Read the story and you will see she is there, yet another proof that you did not really read it
"Stop posting bait that makes no sence, it just looks like you are making fun of yourself. This comment clearly made my day, it was hilarious. >>Trying to troll, fail's bad >>Trying to point out flaws that are not there >>Throwing a fit cuz the charaters are not the way you want it So much bait fishing ""You have to build up to this kind of thing""
And finally
Read the story and you will see she is there, yet another proof that you did not really read it
Your last comment is the only one with any validity. Everything else is you just posting up buzzwords and stupid flash phrases, in essence, internet talking points. How about actual substance, like my critique has? You have yet to say how the flaws I pointed out AREN'T there, WHY it's a good thing there are NO side or main characters from the main stories included in this who AREN'T dead by now, WHY there's only been one sighting of a human being yet despite this being human-tagged, he's not even a real character in the story. Hasn't even really got a name. A background element that happens to be human doesn't warrant this story being labeled with a human tag. But no. You don't care about addressing real points like that. Nor how dark and depressing and "stomp you into the ground" the tale is.
Do you think this story is supposed to be in the "Don Bluth" school of storytelling? I know the whole "You put your characters through the wringer in the hopes that people can take it as long as it leads up to a happy ending". That's what he believed. Here is the thing: the things he led up to were made very possible and clear that, if the character endured, they could get what they wanted. It wasn't unreasonable to expect Fievel to reach his family or the Rats of NIHM to be united, etc. But here, the end goal seems quite impossible and far too nebulous. There's not exactly a definite plan to fix things. Not to mention, and this is the important thing, Don Bluth included humor and funny characters to balance out the dark moments in the tale.
This story has none of that. And unlike in politics, there IS a need for such balance in a story. Because otherwise it just becomes depressing if there's no lulls in the drama, no calmer, more humorous or "human" moments. And no, moments of sadness don't count. If the choice is between being sad or fearing for the character's lives, those are terrible choices. There's like, NO lighthearted moments in this story. Even 1984 had SOME! And I don't even LIKE reading 1984.
5318744 Wow, you really have your head so far up your ass that you can't even understand a story. Don't you get that more will come about the ponies and the human? Don't you get that we will get to know more about the human and the ponies? I don't think you do get it since it seems like you want the whole story told in 5 minutes.
It's time to learn about patience. I wonder if you ever have read any books in your life, all writers write different, there are no rules, they write like they want to and feel comfortable with. Btw, you should stop making yourself look like a major troll and making it look like you have no idea what you are saying... Also, there is a difference between giving critique and just being an asshole. You really don't know that, wich shows the level of your imaturity. And finally, all you do is useless trolling of (not only this story) but others also. You win nothing on that except hate from others but the "critique" as you call it, is nothing more than useless words from someone who dosen't seem to be able to read a story the right way or even give "critique" the right way. And one last thing...stop being so butthurt over that the story is not like you want it, stop reading it and more on with your shitty life instead, trust me, you will achive more by doing that. Re-read the story and stop reading things that aren't there, so simple. Thank you, now go on and find something usefull to do with your time instead of making people laugh at you. Bai!!!
You're still over relying on Internet buzzwords over substance. It's been over twenty chapters with 70K words. A bit more clarity and purpose is needed by now. And you have yet to explain why overly dark work with no lulls or lightheartedness to balance out the bleak subject matter is good. Especially since the author has insisted it is only going to get worse from here in blogs. And you got some nerve claiming I'M butt hurt when you won't even properly respond to actual authorial critique. And don't try to paint me with the kind of brush that says "I don't understand what real pain is, the only stories I want to read our sunshine and rainbows". I've ridden plenty of dark stories before, but I know how to balance them out because I don't want to slam my fist into the readers face, I never want those reading to feel that the story is oppressively disheartening. But THIS story is.
And before you tell me "you have to have read the first story in order to understand this", that's like handing somebody the Iliad before they go in to see Clash of the Titans. People should be able to enjoy a story on its own merits, especially considering this isn't like Lord of the rings. The story doesn't immediately take place after the first one in it's universes.
I just love it how guys like you can shut down actual critique with the stupid excuse of "haters going to hate", or by calling anybody who offers up anything that comes close to actual criticism a "troll".
You don't know real trolling. Trolling is telling somebody that they're an effing retard because they have Asperger's syndrome. Trolling is telling somebody they should go to hell simply because of their political views. Trolling is sprinkling in F bombs like jimmies over an ice cream.
Bringing up how a story has almost no connection to the original source material and is overly dark is not trolling. It is a legitimate critique.
So you've changed the setting, the premise of the entire world, the main characters are dead, the SIDE characters are dead. What, pray tell, is left for those that loved the original source material to gravitate to? This tale is morose, depressing, unhappy. Its cynical and coldhearted and unrealistic in how contrived things went downhill so fast. The story asks me to not think. To deny that things have been the way they were in Equestria for CENTURIES and to ignore cold, hard facts about how the world and its ways work. And I refuse that request because you've given me NOTHING to gravitate to. Worse still, you treat the most moral characters in this story, the ones who I SHOULD want to see succeed and make things right, like crap by KILLING OFF THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS HORRIFICALLY.
Do you not understand this goes above and beyond unnecessary? The entire story is like slamming a boot down on people's faces with its overly dark and grim tone. It's not "fun" to read.
I don't know how do you connect the major and side characters so well into the story. In fact, it is the art that made one of the big reasons why I read this story. This is what made it not only fun but interesting to read in general. Love the character development for this chapter. It was just a great thing. Never thought Crescent had a tender side either so I was with what Sawblade thought too.
You make the story very dark, but I love the fact the characters hold onto those strings of hope that carry them through the story. By those strings of hope it makes me read on to see if they all eventually meet their demise eventually or do they actually come to find it and have peace. One of the reasons I still love reading it. :)
5314825 Seriously, you always have something bad to say about this story...if you don't like the story, don't read it or even better, don't bother leaving a comment if your opinions will be crap anyway.
I don't even know if you are trolling or just trying to confuse others but it seems like you did not read the story and that you, in fact have no idea about what you are writing.
If you don't like it, don't bother commenting. All that time you use to bash on others, use it to achive something important instead of being rude.
Now, I suggest you grow a pair (wich you clearly don't have) and grow up...thank you avd have a good day, bai!
5316302
My attempt at criticism is fair. There's nothing grounding those who'd look at this story to the old source material. And in fact, here's a very simple, easy way that this story could be improved. This entire chapter with Crescent? When it leads up to him finding Lyra? You know why it doesn't work?
There's not one scene. One chapter. One moment in the story where Lyra is present and he's with her. Talking, having fun. No flashbacks of him and his sister together. No meaningful interactions to lend emotional weight. If the author wanted to do this right, a better way would be to have several chapters in which we see the past, in which Crescent and Lyra are interacting, help us understand why he misses her so, and just how horrible it truly is that the person he loved and was seeking for for so long truly is gone. But because she wasn't in this story ONCE until now...it comes off like a Lian Harper. It's emotionally manipulative and not well done. You can't do this in writing. You have to build up to this kind of thing.
5316739 Actually, Lyra has been mentioned several times throughout the story. Not by name, but clearly as someone that Crescent loved and missed. As an example, in chapter twenty, Crescent had a conversation with Willow about why he carried a lyre, claiming that it belonged to someone very important to him, and he carried it around to never forget her.
Her identity was kept a secret on purpose, to let the reader develop their own theory about this Her that Crescent often thought about. She could'v been a close friend, a mother, a sister, or a lover. It was to make people guess and wonder. Furthermore, I'm working on a separate story about exactly what happened between Lyra and Crescent before all of this happened. Not to mention that they'll both show up in a second story where Crescent is a major supporting character, which takes place long before this, when the old king was still alive.
Characters develop, as does a story itself. Just because some things are bad at the beginning it doesn't mean they'll always be bad. Just because some characters are dead, it doesn't mean the every single one is. Things will always be bad before they get better, and that's what this entire plot is about; the refusal to give up hope, no matter how hard it gets. No matter what happens the characters refuse to break down, because they are all holding on to the dream of a better future. But it's always darkest just before the dawn, so to speak
The things that happen in the first out of three stories does not reflect the trilogy and its characters in it's entirety.
In my view, it's a good thing to put your characters through hell in order for them to grow. Force them into situations that break them down. If the character can take it, they'll only grow stronger and develop. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, as they say.
There are no rules for what you can and can't do in writing, and you have no authority to say what anyone can or can't do in their work. That is up entirely to the person writing the story. Every person writes in a different way, and no one but themselves have the right to tell them what to do and not do.
Edit:
And one final thing. You say there's no human. First, we have the character Thanatos, believed to somehow be the former king of Equestria that died ten years ago. Aside from that, there's Anton, the main character of the entire second part of the story. Anton Svanström, younger brother of Mattias Svanström, also known as Dust, Equestria's former king. Anton's been in the story for about six chapters. Almost 39.000 words were him and Lilly are the main characters, and his first chapter takes place only on Earth with several other human characters, including his girlfriend Jennifer.
So the fact that you say "There's no human here!" tells me that you haven't even read half of the story. Or maybe you'll try to tell me that Anton isn't in the story? That Willow wasn't the first pony he met after he was pulled into Equestria by some unknown force, right after seeing his assumed-dead brother? That he never saved Lilly from a crazed pony out to take her life? That he himself almost bled to death in the process? Try to tell me that nearly 39.000 words of the story never happened. Go on.
That's why I blocked you. If you're going to criticize, you should at least read the story before you do it.
5316952
"Actually, Lyra has been mentioned several times throughout the story. Not by name, but clearly as someone that Crescent loved and missed. As an example, in chapter twenty two, Crescent had a conversation with Willow about why he carried a lyre, claiming that it belonged to someone very important to him, and he carried it around to never forget her." So just one chapter ago and now this to indicate it was her?
"Her identity was kept a secret on purpose, to let the reader develop their own theory about this Her that Crescent often thought about. She could'v been a close friend, a mother, a sister, or a lover. It was to make people guess and wonder. Furthermore, I'm working on a separate story about exactly what happened between Lyra and Crescent before all of this happened. Not to mention that they'll both show up in a second story where Crescent is a major supporting character, which takes place long before this, when the old king was still alive." ...okay, nevermind. That's more forgivable.
"Characters develop, as does a story itself. Just because some things are bad at the beginning it doesn't mean they'll always be bad. Just because some characters are dead, it doesn't mean the every single one is. Things will always be bad before they get better, and that's what this entire plot is about; the refusal to give up hope, no matter how hard it gets. No matter what happens the characters refuse to break down, because they are all holding on to the dream of a better future. But it's always darkest just before the dawn, so to speak." They've been bad, depressing, unhappy and "Stomp the characters into the ground" for over twenty chapters straight. It's been over 70,000 words. And here's the thing: there has not only been ONE sighting of humans in this supposedly human-tagged Equestrian story, nothing has improved or even HINTED that things will improve. There's no magical source to seek out to try and revive the Princesses or any indication that any of the old family of the Mane Six survived or even any idea where the ELEMENTS OF HARMONY are. Remember them? Those things that are supposed to be living symbols that can't be destroyed, not even when Night Mare Moon broke them apart? Where are they? And furthermore, how did an invasion NOT get repelled considering one third of the population can fly, another third is super strong, another can do magic AND when you factor in the Elements of Harmony AND that there's more than just Princess Luna and Celestia as Alicorns? There's not really been any hint as to how that happened and again, I remind you, it's been over twenty chapters and 70,000 words. And you're going to tell me this is the first of THREE stories?
And no. It's NOT good to put your characters through Hell. Characters should grow through challenges that are natural and part of their environment, with things that put their abilities and character to the test, not just shoving a boot down on their face and demanding they get up, maggot. And don't tell me what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Maybe what doesn't kill you is just killing you slowly! The cliche is SO OLD, the response TO it is cliche.
And DON'T tell me there's no rules to writing. If there were, we would all loooove Uwe Boll and Stephanie Meyer and the like. Certain things are conventional because they work. There exist rules for a reason like "If you think being funny is a redeeming character trait, its not, because it means 99 times out of 100, they're an a-hole otherwise" or "If an antagonist does bad behavior your protagonist does all the time yet HE'S called out for it and not the protagonist, then you're a hypocrite". There are rules, man. Things you follow. Ways to write a story.
And again, because there is literally nothing left of the old Equestria within this story, not the side characters, main characters, nor even the elements of how the show worked...nor is there a human character we could gravitate towards as a kind of outsider looking in, trying to understand how and why things changed...then people who are reading this, like myself, don't understand what's left of the story we knew and loved. This tale comes off like the Highlander: The Source of MLP stories. You can't just do a story where you change EVERYTHING about the setting, characters and elements of the source material we were familiar with. How would you feel if they made a Highlander film where Duncan Macleod no longer trusted his friends, they were no longer in America but Eastern Europe, it didn't take place in modern times but after the Apocalypse, and by the way, the immortals aren't immortal anymore?
That's what happened with the film and that's the vibe I get from this story. NOTHING is familiar. And that, plus the lack of any humans in a supposedly human-tagged story, is REALLY bugging the hell out of me! And I don't understand how so many other people can ignore this elephant in the room!
5317019 ""The trolling is strong in this one""
Stop posting bait that makes no sence, it just looks like you are making fun of yourself.
This comment clearly made my day, it was hilarious.
>>Trying to troll, fail's bad
>>Trying to point out flaws that are not there
>>Throwing a fit cuz the charaters are not the way you want it
So much bait fishing
""You have to build up to this kind of thing""
Read the story and you will see she is there, yet another proof that you did not really read it
5318102
And finally
Your last comment is the only one with any validity. Everything else is you just posting up buzzwords and stupid flash phrases, in essence, internet talking points. How about actual substance, like my critique has? You have yet to say how the flaws I pointed out AREN'T there, WHY it's a good thing there are NO side or main characters from the main stories included in this who AREN'T dead by now, WHY there's only been one sighting of a human being yet despite this being human-tagged, he's not even a real character in the story. Hasn't even really got a name. A background element that happens to be human doesn't warrant this story being labeled with a human tag. But no. You don't care about addressing real points like that. Nor how dark and depressing and "stomp you into the ground" the tale is.
Do you think this story is supposed to be in the "Don Bluth" school of storytelling? I know the whole "You put your characters through the wringer in the hopes that people can take it as long as it leads up to a happy ending". That's what he believed. Here is the thing: the things he led up to were made very possible and clear that, if the character endured, they could get what they wanted. It wasn't unreasonable to expect Fievel to reach his family or the Rats of NIHM to be united, etc. But here, the end goal seems quite impossible and far too nebulous. There's not exactly a definite plan to fix things. Not to mention, and this is the important thing, Don Bluth included humor and funny characters to balance out the dark moments in the tale.
This story has none of that. And unlike in politics, there IS a need for such balance in a story. Because otherwise it just becomes depressing if there's no lulls in the drama, no calmer, more humorous or "human" moments. And no, moments of sadness don't count. If the choice is between being sad or fearing for the character's lives, those are terrible choices. There's like, NO lighthearted moments in this story. Even 1984 had SOME! And I don't even LIKE reading 1984.
5318744 Wow, you really have your head so far up your ass that you can't even understand a story.
Don't you get that more will come about the ponies and the human? Don't you get that we will get to know more about the human and the ponies? I don't think you do get it since it seems like you want the whole story told in 5 minutes.
It's time to learn about patience.
I wonder if you ever have read any books in your life, all writers write different, there are no rules, they write like they want to and feel comfortable with.
Btw, you should stop making yourself look like a major troll and making it look like you have no idea what you are saying...
Also, there is a difference between giving critique and just being an asshole. You really don't know that, wich shows the level of your imaturity.
And finally, all you do is useless trolling of (not only this story) but others also. You win nothing on that except hate from others but the "critique" as you call it, is nothing more than useless words from someone who dosen't seem to be able to read a story the right way or even give "critique" the right way.
And one last thing...stop being so butthurt over that the story is not like you want it, stop reading it and more on with your shitty life instead, trust me, you will achive more by doing that.
Re-read the story and stop reading things that aren't there, so simple.
Thank you, now go on and find something usefull to do with your time instead of making people laugh at you.
Bai!!!
5319499
You're still over relying on Internet buzzwords over substance. It's been over twenty chapters with 70K words. A bit more clarity and purpose is needed by now. And you have yet to explain why overly dark work with no lulls or lightheartedness to balance out the bleak subject matter is good. Especially since the author has insisted it is only going to get worse from here in blogs. And you got some nerve claiming I'M butt hurt when you won't even properly respond to actual authorial critique. And don't try to paint me with the kind of brush that says "I don't understand what real pain is, the only stories I want to read our sunshine and rainbows". I've ridden plenty of dark stories before, but I know how to balance them out because I don't want to slam my fist into the readers face, I never want those reading to feel that the story is oppressively disheartening. But THIS story is.
And before you tell me "you have to have read the first story in order to understand this", that's like handing somebody the Iliad before they go in to see Clash of the Titans. People should be able to enjoy a story on its own merits, especially considering this isn't like Lord of the rings. The story doesn't immediately take place after the first one in it's universes.
I just love it how guys like you can shut down actual critique with the stupid excuse of "haters going to hate", or by calling anybody who offers up anything that comes close to actual criticism a "troll".
You don't know real trolling. Trolling is telling somebody that they're an effing retard because they have Asperger's syndrome. Trolling is telling somebody they should go to hell simply because of their political views. Trolling is sprinkling in F bombs like jimmies over an ice cream.
Bringing up how a story has almost no connection to the original source material and is overly dark is not trolling. It is a legitimate critique.