Ten years have passed since the fall of Queen Luna and her husband Dust, and Equestria has been forever changed thanks to the death of the rulers and the events that followed. There is no government, no laws. No morality. The concept of family and friends no longer exist, taking loyalty and love with it. The only thing that governs the land now is the icy winds and deep snow; the longest and coldest winter in living memory has struck the land, and is holding it in its tight grip. Famine and hate brews as the cities and towns fall one by one. The people have no hope left, and only care about surviving another day, no matter the cost.

Through unforeseen events, a group of Stalkers and unlikely friends are forced into the frozen lands of the once proud kingdom. A young Unicorn named Lilly dreams of becoming a Stalker herself, but her desire to do good may bring her more terror than she ever thought possible...

In this new world, a world of swift, cold death, a new threat rises out of the ashes of the Lunar Republic. An ancient evil has awoken, unknown yet all too familiar. With it, it brings one simple question.

How do you fight something that doesn't exist?

Story is rated Mature, so access to story is through authors user page.

Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning!

This story is rated mature for a reason, and contains mature themes such as: Violence/Gore, Language, Necrophilia, cruel assault and rape, an environment that leaves you hopeless, and the rhythmic sounds of ones neighbors going at it. This story is not for those sensitive to nature, those prone to depression, and those who enjoy My Little Pony as the kind and friendly environment as shown on TV. If you fall under this category, and are disturbed by the reasons above, I can not and will not recommend this story to you. If, however, you enjoyed a story much like Fallout: Equestria, you may find some entertainment in this story. Be sure you are in the best of mental health before touching this story.

Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning!

Honestly, I'm still thinking on where I should start... so I'll just say this. This story holds impact. Is it perfect? Far from it, if anything, it feels incomplete. If the next installment were to be published right now, I would of moved on immediately to that next chapter. So in this review, I'll be going into much more detail than I usually do, because I found so much potential, yet also found faults in the story that hurt its presentation. There is so much good, yet also so many things that hurt the story that I have to take my time with this review. So stick with me, and understand that there may be some heavy spoilers involved in this review. So, let's start with the narrative.

The story starts of strong, with a beautiful description of a dream, a dream being had by our main character, Lilly. Okay, it does not exactly start of that way... You remember the last thing I mention to why it was mature... Ya, apply that here... still back to the dream. It was well written and it painted the picture extremely well! Of course, that is my opinion, but one I will defend till the end. Also, one thing, if I remember correctly, is that StalkerPony's primary language is not English. So to see such descriptive talent here is amazing. You can tell it was not done by a translator. With that, here are the first few sentences in the dream.

A forest grew up around her, birch trees sprouted up towards the sky with leaves green as emeralds. The grass around her hooves swayed lightly in the breeze, creating the image of waves across a vast green ocean. The breeze gently stroked her chin, and Lilly closed her eyes and smiled. As she opened them again, the sun was high in the sky, spreading its rays through the leaves above her.

I don't know about you guys, but I want to see more of that! Simple, yet awesome!

For one, I love the description there. It's as if the world has turned into a paradise, and though the only sense you are given is sight, it still enhanced my reading experience. Was there any doubt? StalkerPony has some great talent here!

How, here is where I have a small issue... no... a big issue.

With all the wonderful emotion you gave this fic, and of all the amazing description you gave, by the time I made it to the end, I felt the story went nowhere. That alone would have made me give this work a *needs work* rating. Everything was going great for the first fourteen chapters, then everything starts to slip. Let me explain, as pacing has a huge factor in this.

In the first fourteen chapters, things are going smooth, we are getting somewhere, action is around everywhere. Then, we get them captured... That is where the pacing falls apart, instead of keeping the reader in a great grip of awesomeness, The story begins to drag, heavily. I was tossed in a situation that though was meant to seem stressful and long, was only painfully tedious. Events that could of allowed more story in part one, were stretched out to give information the currently seems irrelevant. I was getting allot of character actions, with no background to why. I'll cover more on that in the Characterization section.

It was around the time you introduced Anton as a main character to the story. I enjoyed his story, but this story could have easily gotten two more chapters to balance his involvement. We have fifteen chapters to introduce pony characters, but are only given less than nine to even come close to understanding the nature of Anton... there I go again bleeding into the characterization section.

Next thing I had a hard time with was why the story had to drag. I mentioned this earlier, but I need to say it again... why do we the readers, have to go through the punishment of feeling like we read through something incredible, only to feel it worth nothing in the end? I was taken for an amazing ride, only to be derailed and left in a ditch. It hurt man, it really hurt. So, please, redeem yourself and complete this series, right now, that is the only way to fix this issue. Your a great writer, I know you have a vision, so don't let the story end the way you had it end. Continue it!

Now, where to start with this... I wanted to cry Stalker, I really did. You did so wonderful in so many areas, yet at the same time... Not so well in others. Enjoy the sugar, but please accept the salt.

Lilly, also known as Lillith, is the primary character introduced in this story. We know she was cared for by Applebloom, after her parents were brutally murdered right before her young eyes. We learn that past, and we then start to care for Lilly more. She is a tough cookie to say the least, and though is still weak, you can see the will and heart that gives her so much potential. When it comes to Lilly, she is developed near perfection. I have no problem with how you had set her up.

Duskshine: This is where my first disappointment comes in. Not because I don't like this character, but because I did. I'm not upset for you killing him off, not the slightest, It's what makes part of this story good. No, what got to me was the lack of information we got on him before he died. We only just found out he had a brother, the bam! Ambush, captured again, and killed. On top of that, we find out he is a changeling. I need more information on this guy, please let his legacy continue. Please bring in memories, let us know him more so we can properly morn with Lilly. Good news is, I still cared about Duskshine... rest in peace the comical yet serious pervert of the story.

I would also like more information on all the Stalkers. You have an awesome world here, give us more. Remember, at this point, you can only redeem yourself by continuing the promised story. All faults I have pointed out can be corrected by continuation. All that we the readers are asking for are answers to pressing questions.

Anton: Human, brother to King Dust. You can find information on King Dust from PonyStalker's other stories. Check them out, I know I will.

Anyway, Anton, was suddenly sucked into Equestria in the middle of chaos. I first met Willow, who I want to say is the son of Big Mac and possibly... Rainbow Dash.... I don't know yet, I'm just going off from his rainbow mane. Wow, per-related tangent... Anton, Human, huge potential, nice guy who cares and would rather not kill. Forced into a situation that forces him to do desperate things to desperately survive. I honestly am still trying to digest Anton. So, I really have no problem with his involvement. It's just hard for me to define his character.

Willow: Pegasus, with deformed wings. Red in coat, probably the same color as Big Mac. A sliced apple as a cutie mark, and a rainbow mane... most likely from Rainbow Dash... I don't know though, still a mystery. Least to say I like Willow and desire to learn more about him.

Bucket Most likely the son of Fluttershy. Even though he is a Stalker, he caries the same attitude as Fluttershy... that is timid. However, he also has that powerful backlash if taken lightly. Moral of story is, don't mess with Bucket, me met a great and powerful unicorn after all.

Crescent: Leader of the stalkers, with attitude, of mild and smart proportions. I like his quip as reply to Sawblade's vulgar sayings. "Ya, love you too buddy." Now, that's a bit of fun development. I like his tragic story with his sister, that got to me. I won't spoil it here more than I already have.

Saweblade: All I know of him right now is that he can rage... don't get him angry. He also served with Shining Armor in times past. He may even be a character in past stories, but I really don't know since I have yet to read the previous installment.

All in all, I enjoyed each character. Yet, I just want to know more. Give us more in the next part, You may hear me say that a few more times.

Still not my greatest section. But I did notice some places that needed to be looked at. Forgive me, since my notes were mostly focused on the more... plot driven factor of the story. That is my main focus.

Grammar for the most part was excellent. There were some parts that tied my tongue, but that is ok. I can re-read the story latter and help you find them. I think I will search for that one paragraph that made little sense to me though. I'll PM that one to you.

Though I found quite a few issues with this story, I over all enjoyed it. Even though the next day was... rough... the story is still well written. StalkerPony has a great talent in the written word. He puts description where is needed, and emotion to where it is it's most powerful. I look forward to reading more by the author. I hope this review helps you see what many readers are complaining about, and inspires you to complete the series.

Mr. Flare

3966133 Great review, as always

I have to agree with pretty much every flaw you pointed out here; after finishing the story, I read through it again and really took it in, without the previous constant worry of "what happens next, where should they go!", and yeah, the story does fall apart when they get captured. I dragged it for too long since I just couldn't find a good way to get out of it, and to this day it is the one part that I really hate about the entire story.

Everything dropped in quality at a certain point in the story, when I got to a point where I just felt like it sucked and I couldn't make it any better. Low self-esteem and nothing but negative and hateful comments for months really affected me, and the story suffered because of it. Much of it became rushed and shallow, due to me thinking that since no one enjoyed it, why give a shit? Yeah, stupid thing to think.

On Duskshine, you've pretty much already said what I'm going to do; ever since the start, the idea was to have a character die, and then still continue the character through other means. Even though he's dead, he's not gone and his character is not done. And since I want to make it a trilogy, there's still a lot more to learn about the characters, of course, before the end. But I will say this; as of now, Sawblade has not been in any other story. He might though, I have something planned for him..

Same with Crescent and his sister, they're going to be in one, maybe two, stories. If I ever get around to writing them, that is. That's the worst part; so many ideas, so little patience. I could probably write ten-or-so stories on the events before Black Dawn, and probably even more after, and honestly, while I love having so much that I want to do, it's actually a little intimidating to think of.

Again, great review, thank you so much for taking the time to do it

3966738
No problem friend.

3966133

In the first fourteen chapters, things are going smooth, we are getting somewhere, action is around everywhere. Then, we get them captured... That is where the pacing falls apart, instead of keeping the reader in a great grip of awesomeness, The story begins to drag, heavily. I was tossed in a situation that though was meant to seem stressful and long, was only painfully tedious. Events that could of allowed more story in part one, were stretched out to give information the currently seems irrelevant. I was getting allot of character actions, with no background to why. I'll cover more on that in the Characterization section.

I don't know it may have felt slow after the fourteenth chapter but for me it was like watching the Walking Dead. At that point, if the episode after his fourteenth chapter was slow it just would not have mattered for me. I was already in love. I say fourteen chapters is enough for anyone to fall in love with a story.

However, I liked the review though. It was indeed a good review.