• Member Since 16th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen March 16th

Satch


Comments ( 75 )

Well, for now it is interesting.
There are only two thing that could be better.

At the end, you use both present and past tenses, since you began with past, I suggest you don't use present, here it is weird, I think there are sentences with both tenses.
And the description of the white mare. I suppose it is not surprise that she is Vinyl Scratch, but all Twilight can see is that she is white. You should mention that she is a unicorn only after she begin to use her magic, like a discovery for Twilight POV and not like an established fact.

Well, it's only my opinion, the only thing that really bothered me was the tense at the end.

Anyway, I'm looking for the following chapters.

4297109 Glad to hear it was interesting.

And hm, I see. To both those, I guess those are things that ought to have been noticed by the proofreader, if I'd ever gotten their proofreading.

And can say your feedback makes sense imo. Both those tends to be things I forget about.

And will say said chapters most likely won't come soon, but there is a chance they'll be made.

On a side note though; Mind if I ask what you thought of the concept of equine glory holes? Instead of the usual human ones people write/draw for ponies.

4304285
Mmh, if I were to be neutral, I'd say it is weird for an inexperienced mare to want to use a glory hole (giving or receiving part).

But here we clearly see that Twilight is VERY curious, still it would be more logical to try something more classic for a first time.

The part where it is interesting is where she doesn't know with whom she does it. Well, that's how it is supposed to be, but we learn more about the 'white mare' life than the circumstance leading Twilight in this situation.

She discovers self-satisfaction, and some weeks later she is a virgin giving blowjob in a royal school bathroom during her learning class she is supposed to follow with Celestia herself.

I suppose you are planning to explain all this in the maybe upcoming chapters, but with the information you give right now, it is the only thing I can tell.

Well, I'm not really good to explain what I think about the plot so I may not be the best adviser, I'm better telling what I think could be better than telling what is good. So if I can give an advise, just continue like you planned. I'll tell you in the other chapter if I see something else:twilightsmile:

That's why I'm waiting for other chapters :raritywink:

Might I recommend amending the description to just:

'Twilight works a glory hole.'

4304394 Yeah, it is a bit weird. But I wanted to play on Twi's "act, don't think" she does quite often. Or well, she thinks it's a great idea, and then when she's about to do it...

And I kinda wanted to make glory holes a kinda common thing. Mainly as I don't think Equestria would have equally stupid societal rules as we have. Not to the "fuck anyone anywhere" levels ofc xD Just where it wouldn't be looked down upon or with scorn. Kinda at the point a mare could go with a "Oh, I just came from getting sucked off." as an excuse for being late. (if meeting friends ofc, and possibly said in a bit more "classy" way x3)

And well, I don't know if the term "blowjob" works, as that's not a unisex term, or is it? But yeah, she is going down on another mare in a quite upper class school xP

I had quite a plan of where to go with this actually. With a potential zebra or "saddle arabian" cameo xP

And thanks for the feedback. Was nice to read. And I can try to resume writing on this. Hit a bit of a snag in my life currently. But this is prolly the fic I'd like to work on the most. That, and the OctoScratch one heh.

4322413 Could do that, a brief description is prolly a good idea.

This just may be one of my most favourite fics :D
It triggers all of my fetishes, I love the voyeur themed POV, and lesbianism of course.
But my most favourite part is the usage of realistic-ish equine anatomy. That's something that you don't see too often in art, and even less so in fictions.
Very unique, very awesome :D

I hope you'll continue working on this one, seeing that it's marked as unfinished (I have to admit, I, uhm, didn't reach the end of the story X3)!

PS: No stallions, please, I'd keep that for a different story ;D

4500028 Heh, thanks :3
And hey, I use accurate anatomy, partially as it just feels respectful per se. That, and I would never half-ass anatomy... unless it's for the purpose of making a point of others half-assing either purposefully, or by being lazy. (might can tell I hate people doing a sloppy job on it, at least if they just go halfway, as all that do, only put effort into the male side)
And I aim to create unique things, and cater to areas not commonly catered too. We literally have dozens of versions of the same identical story with the same identical characters. Only (potential) difference is the location or what they call each other. And rambling again, my bad xP

And possibly. Semi-given up on writing. Trying to focus the little I have on animation. (and I tend to write a tad bit long chapters for many ^=^' Should split them up more often)

And don't worry, unlike... quite a lot of authors, I don't shove in males in fics stated to be lesbian :P Granted, this one in particular had a mention of potentially having males. But I've seen a lot shove in males in supposed "lesbian" fics, and then act like it's still two females. Trailing off here xP But yeah, there's plenty story's about that. For inventing a new fetish, I should honestly focus on it more than the generic counterpart x3

Found an inconsistency for ya, Satch.

Twilight levitated out her quill and notebook and placed it down next to her.

Off all the places to forget to bring her trusty notepad... There was a bunch of stuff she already would need to memorize.

Other than that, holy fuck this was hot. How does this not have more views?

p.s. Remember me by any chance?

4510420 Technically not, that was her notebook, not notepad, different things xP But going with how it's written, it does seem like an inconsistency...

And thanks heh. And well, it's not about one or more guys flopping their oversized dicks around, while labeling the story as "Lesbian"? xD I don't follow the norm as said. There's very many against anything being being new or out of the ordinary. People don't like role reversals most of the time. It scares them or something....

And actually yes. Mainly just name wise though.

Unless this is intentional - females do not have prostates.
The G-spot is the closest in female anatomy.
Of course - this is completely correct if they turn out to be Futa - but that seems like it'd have been mentioned already.

Otherwise - very hot!

4998283
The g-spot IS the prostate xP
And considering 90+ % of all futa, herm and shemale within the fandom are just flat, cardboard porn personality (or lack thereof) "guys with tits", I've been extremely deterred from them as a whole. But have as of late pondered some on making proper herms. As while almost all today got the "worst of both worlds" porn wise, it would be interesting to actually do it properly. Or at least without cardboard.

Anyhow, thanks. Can say I am a bit disappointed almost none of the fetishes I've invented over the past few years has ever been done before. Many of them are very obvious. That said though, people seem very sloppy and inapt to play around with things that doesn't have dicks, or dicks slapped onto them. Ah well. At least there's the rare occasional someone did a episode reference, without ruining it and/or turning it into a gender bent cock joke. Don't get me wrong, I do like those too, just not when they are the only ones...

This was... surprisingly sweet for an anonymous deflowering by a serial deflowerer :unsuresweetie: Also funny when Vinyl goes on rambling so long that Twilight loses her erection :rainbowlaugh:

But I must say, my favorite part was the beginning with Twilight's tube of squirt :twilightblush: Sometimes masturbation can be even sexier than sex. Especially when it involves a more elaborate plan than "rub until orgasm". Too bad she never got to taste it.

And if the yellow sign means what I think it means... I really want a sequel where Twilight forgets it again (believable because this experience has taught her that it's ok to forget it), and gets soaked before she knows what happened :twilightoops:

5351554 Ramblings are kinda a key factor in most my stuff xD

And heh, that's actually based on real events xD

And hum... I actually didn't even consider that, I feel a bit derp now xD
I just used them in ways of "beginner, novice and etc". There is a sequel almost finished soon though, or chapter 2 rather.

5359668

And heh, that's actually based on real events xD

derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/3/2/3691__solo_fluttershy_animated_suggestive_reaction+image_wingboner_artist-colon-speccysy.gif

And hum... I actually didn't even consider that, I feel a bit derp now xD
I just used them in ways of "beginner, novice and etc".

Well they are in a bathroom... and the yellow sign could double as one of those "caution, wet floor" signs after mopping up :rainbowlaugh:
But just using them as experience level works too. I'm sure it will be great, whatever you do :twilightsmile:

There is a sequel almost finished soon though, or chapter 2 rather.

:yay:

I have a habit of doing random stuff xD

And yeah, I get that in hindsight now xD It's meant more as "experience marks", but I should've used a different system now that I think of it haha.

And technically just one sentence away from the second chapter being done... but just so sluggish atm...

Whoot! New chapter! Yay!

5386300 A third one is planned out, but might take a while.

5386405

That's fine. I'm just glad that to see an update to a really cool story.

5386414 Okies :P
If I recall, it is still the first of it's kind ;3
Not the only one however, I did write a second equine gloryhole fic... albeit more on the extreme side of things haha.

At first I was like :twilightblush:
then, I was like :yay:
and then it ended :ajbemused:
Overall, I love the fic so far, I personally don't clop, but it's still interesting to read. and I hate to be that stupid generic internet guy, but when can chapter 3 be expected?:pinkiehappy:

5415529 Nice to hear it was of interest. Not overly sure what I'd class my fics as, but they're kinda in their own category xD
And well, gonna try to have it out before next year actually.

5417658 good to know that someone is actually working on their fic :yay: and one more question, will Vinyl/PON3 be re-appearing? :pinkiesmile: she's my favorite :twilightblush:

5419137 Hehe, well someone's gotta do it x3
And hm... dunno, it's meant to be a sorta "progressive" fic with new clients, but possibly. Have nothing planned after the third, but can see.
Might could plot a sort of "Vinyl's night out" fic. Could be fun having her swing around town like a stud, cruising glory holes and Gummy knows what xD

Maybe a chapter with Celestia or a teacher for the next ?

5570025 Thanks :3
Trying my best to supply the fandom with equine/female gloryholes and deepthroating. Being the only person to write it on the site is a little pressure I guess xD Does help that I invented it hehe :P


5571007 Atm, got no ideas for the next chapter, but think it might get one sometime :P

This seems similar to Working the Stall...

New chapter!!! <3 that zebra was so hot holy shit! New favorite story. Please tell me you have a new chapter planned and this story won't die <3

5576494 Simply because it contains glory holes? Despite the fact they're using human ones, and I'm using equine ones? Atop being the only person to ever use them? (Along having invented/revised them granted, but that's beside the point xD)
Heck, can't recall when I last checked, but pretty sure this fic might have been written before that one even. My second fic with Shining however, is more similar to WtS. Granted, more over the top (and again, has equine glory holes, not human) than WtS, but it was made to serve as a counterpart to it, as Marshal can't do one. Or rather; have lost interest in the glory hole theme as a whole.

But yeah, there's barley anything relate-able between the two aside from Twilight being the main char. Approach and personality are greatly different. Along with performance and structure. It's bit like claiming Neverwinter and EVE as similar, just cuz both are MMO's.
Glorious Adultery is a bit similar to it, but has different concept, and is more over the top. But it does share the main character wanting to be a cumdump.


5578774 Atm, don't got much of anything planned. But this fic is kinda easy to jump in and out off. So new chapters are likely, but might can take quite a while.

Yay, another great chapter :pinkiehappy: I especially liked the tribbing/female creampie. I suppose it would probably feel better physically to have something to grip on, but mentally it's just so much sexier to try and fill up a vagina despite not having a way to penetrate it :twilightblush:

Twilight getting her horn and upper jaw into a vagina at the same time seems sort of... impossible, but otherwise the zebra scene was great as well.

IMO, Celestia should definitely be the grand finale of this story. Not anonymously, but a direct propositioning by Twilight after realizing that Celestia may not get satisfied very often because she's so intimidating. It would give a sort of higher purpose to the whole experience of Twilight's sexual studies :twilightsmile:

Also, there are a couple of pictures by Neko-me that are probably about what it would look like, since the description of the ginormous zebra vulva reminded me much of them already. Images 847614 and 847615 on Derpibooru.

5731678 Thanks :P And well, just grinding feels good enough to me ;P But yeah, it's a neat mental aspect ;3

Upper jaw (or lower) is somewhat easy. And it was explained how she got the horn in xP Possibly a little clunky, but eh x3
I never write (for the lolz fics not included xD) things that can't be done. I've studied female deepthroating, boh human and equine versions ever since I created it ;P It's possible, but limited and a bit tricky to perform. But toss some magic in, and it's a piece of cake ;D

And hum, it would technically be a fitting ending. Not 100 on how I'd introduce it, if/when I get back to writing. Can say the though of Twi DT-ing her clit is rather arousing though xD Would kinda break from the glory hole concept it's based around but :P

And I know of them. And she's just big, not disproportionate hehe x3 Though those pics are neat though. But yeah, huge clits are actually a thing for equines. Granted, it's hormonal imbalance, but I was aiming somewhere in between ;P

I gotta admit, I like Vinyl snagging all the 'firsts'. It's a trend I'd like to see continued :twilightblush:

6010044 That's a trend? Or something you'd like to see as one? xP

6016723
Well not so much a trend but its happened here. Wouldn't mind it being one though :rainbowwild:

6018476 Could be interesting, Gummy know's pony porn, and porn overall desperately needs more variety xD

5016548

The g-spot IS the prostate xP

Not really, the G-spot has been pretty conclusively shown to be the root of the clitoris. There's no other structure around the anterior vaginal wall with the density of nerve endings needed for sexual stimulation. The tissues that develop into the prostate in males form the lower third of the vagina and the hymen.

6432739 The G-spot is actually listed as "the female prostate" :P
It was just named after Graphenhiemer... or whatever he was called, as he was the one to first find it. It produces the same fluid as the male prostate and whatnot.
That said, on a side note: I'm still kinda derp they haven't correct the term "vagina" yet in US sex ed. They still have a vagina in the vagina xD While Swe has corrected "hymen", that was because the translation of it meant the incorrect thing now that we know it's a defect that cause it to bleed. But I guess even if it doesn't need a name change in the US, they still teach the defunct version as the "normal" one?

This was good one, and i'm certainly into gloryholes thingy now, thought:moustache:
Hope you will be back to this:twilightsmile:

This story is so hot. I hope you'll eventually keep on going. <3

6534383 Thanks :3
It's been partially visualized into a comic by Neko-Me on a side note ;P
And yeah, was fun imo to invent the equine glory hole x3 Think it's a bit silly how it took so long though xP Along with how so many was all "how would that work?" when they had no idea using male ponies in human glory holes xD
And hm... it's a bit doubtful, but it is one of my more favorite works tbh...

6537256 Thanks, and like said above: Bit doubtful, but it's not impossible. I do really like the concept of it :3
I did do the first equine glory hole story... feels a bit shame to cut it short tbh... especially as don't know if anyone else but me has even written any... though it feels like at least someone ought to have xP

Congratulations on your story!
Wait.
No, that was the description. Sorry, I got confused by that clusterfuck of absolute uselessness.
My bad.
~TOOWC

7268737 It is a bit of a mess :P
Still beats all those that lie about or leave out the content of their stories on purpose, and just tell people to "just read it", then bitch about people giving them negative reviews due to them claiming a mindless gay, hyper dick story is a lesbian romance fic because "Hey, those characters are ORIGINALLY female. That means I can still tag them as such even if I genderswap one or both!".
And it's understandable if you're jealous over that I was the one that invented the equine glory hole genre~

And oh, what a not surprise: You're part of FiMFictions very own futa fanatics hate group. Going around bashing stories that have true femdom, or that aren't all about cock worship, and how every other story HAS to have a guy with tits in it :twilightsmile:

7273019

It is a bit of a mess :P

No. It is a lot of a mess. That description is longer than most people's attention spans, which is why- despite being on the site for two years- your story only has 2,531 views.

Still beats all those that lie about or leave out the content of their stories on purpose, and just tell people to "just read it", then bitch about people giving them negative reviews due to them claiming a mindless gay, hyper dick story is a lesbian romance fic because "Hey, those characters are ORIGINALLY female. That means I can still tag them as such even if I genderswap one or both!".

After struggling to read this mess for a few minutes, I've deduced that you don't think futa characters should be female. Congratulations! That's an opinion, you idiot, not a fact. Neither, though, is the idea that futas are female. People- and ponies- can be whichever gender they identify as.

And it's understandable if you're jealous over that I was the one that invented the equine glory hole genre~

When the fuck did I give you that idea? Don't put bullshit words in your comment just to bloat it out and make yourself seem better than everyone else. Someone smarter usually comes along and laughs at you for your stupid attempt. Luckily for you, someone doesn't have to- I did.

And oh, what a not surprise: You're part of FiMFictions very own futa fanatics hate group. Going around bashing stories that have true femdom, or that aren't all about cock worship, and how every other story HAS to have a guy with tits in it :twilightsmile:

I'll have you know that I love femdom. And cock worship, yes. Boys with tits, though? Nah. Give me a girl with a dick anyday. Just ask my own girlfriend- a MtF Trans woman. Oh sorry, I hit a sour note there. A girlfriend is something you'll never have with your idiotic attitude.

Good talk.

7274023 Not blatantly, and immediately promising a bunch of hyper cocks also has a lot to do with it.
But yes, it somehow ended up a jumbled mess. Not entirely sure how it ended up like that to begin with, but ah well. Can't fix things in post~ Which is a shame, as, as the first and largest equine glory hole fic. It could honestly have done with a lot better presentation.

Most futa characters are just glorified "guys with tits" archetypes. That's a fact. You, and others pretending or wishing they aren't, is just a preference or delusional ignorance. A futa CAN be female. But few even attempt to pretend to be. They just slap on a "no homo!" and dash off. Relying on the rest of the bunch to being too thick to question it.
When it comes to tagging however. They are each their own separate thing. For a reason. Even if your character see's themselves as x, you can't tag them as such in search. Unless it actually correlates with what they are physiologically. Much like you can't ex: Tag Twilight as a female equine, if you made her into a dragon, then genderbent her because "hey, she's normally a female horse!". A simpler example is EQG. You don't tag EQG Twilight as "alicorn", "unicorn" or "equine". (at most if you also include a "transformation" or whatever. But point being: Tags are there for a reason. But if you're too stupid to understand why if someone searching for ex: "equine Fluttershy female" might want to actually find a Fluttershy that's both equine AND female. Then I can't enlighten you on that matter.

Well, you crawl out of no-where, and have a hissy fit for no justified reason whatsoever. And then, as predicted spout some shit about how this isn't as popular as half-assed, generic sell-out stories to try and further slander it as you are incapable to attack me on a intellectual level. It's quite obvious that you are butthurt about something.

That would define a boy with tits. Just because you call a dude a girl, doesn't make it true.
I most context, "cock worship" and "femdom" doesn't work in conjunction. 95+ % of all porn with both those tags are just blatant fakes.
"chick with cock" DOES exist. But they're almost NEVER portrayed properly in porn. (same with femdom, most of it is just a fake porn dominatrix, which is as much femdom as titjobs are a gay male exclusive fetish.) Just slapping a female body to a dick doesn't just automatically make it female be default.
->
If you only response would be either "Because!" or "Otherwise it would be gay!" to "why does x identify as female?", chances are that is a "guy with tits" archetype. They're generally hyper, they have the classic male porn star personality. And everything is just about their dick. That's 3 of the most telltale signs of a "guy with tits" archetype tropes.
And a bit of a sour note yes. You're being a dick to insult transgender people by pretending to have one as a partner. Along with slandering them by seeming to endorse the notion that anything with breasts HAS to be referred to female pronouns. Like has been said by several of the bigoted popfurs, such as thehorsesays. Heck, even that lazy fuck BlackguyJr admits that all of his futa are "dudes". As he needs to have at least one "guy" in each porn he makes to have interest. Plus, he cba to create an actual female model, or find more than one set of voices, so he just crams both into one.
->
I actually had a intelligent discussion with someone that wrote a genderswapped Chrysalis story. Can't recall the authors name, but can prolly find them. Was pretty specific story. Chrys used his dick to rape the three sirens and shit.
After some back and forth, he realized that "oh shit, I made Chrys a guy!" while he was originally supposed to be a true herm. But any sign of that, was in the authors head. So any proof of that, hadn't been written out. So all the story currently had, was a 100 % male Chrysalis. They supposedly fixed that in post, by releasing more chapters, and attempted to flesh out that Chrys identified as both. Though, if I recall, their first draft just seemed to make it like if Chrys had split personality of one selfish, dominant male side, and a submissive female side. That swapped depending what genital they manifested. Never looked up if they managed to solve that tbh... but either case. All trans people, and non-fanatic futa fans I know find the most commonly used futa archetype to be utterly retarded, insulting and not in the slightest bit female. (aside from physically at a first glance.) And the fans in particular, find it humerus how most fanatics point out they claim they love femdom, but how they are repulsed by female genitalia or reading about a female being in focus.

7285275
First? Yes, you can fox things in post. Idiot.
Second?

And a bit of a sour note yes. You're being a dick to insult transgender people by pretending to have one as a partner. Along with slandering them by seeming to endorse the notion that anything with breasts HAS to be referred to female pronouns.

Fuck you. Why the hell would I make that up? In fact, we've been in a committed relationship for over a year.

And yes, she. Right now you're the one being an asshole, because that's the pronoun she wants. MtF means Male to Female, you fucking moron. That means that she is currently in the process of having her body match what she feels is right. Don't even fucking pretend you know what you're talking about.

Third,

A futa CAN be female. But few even attempt to pretend to be. They just slap on a "no homo!" and dash off.

Congratulations. You've just assumed that nearly every single person to make a futa character is straight.
Gods, you're such a fucking brain-dead asshole.

7285275 are you legitimately retarded or just very good at pretending

7288123 Coming from people that use contradictions, and treat said contradictions as a legit arguments. Atop proudly boast being in hate groups that slander minorities and/or people that doesn't share their opinion, then act as if they are doing a moral thing... yeah, I'm the one in need of help in that situation.

I'm not the one that toss a hissy fit when my preferences doesn't line up with facts.
Or attacks the whistle blower when a hack/scandal is revealed.
Your kind are just so far up your own asses backwards that you literally can't see anything outside of your small, narrow minded bubbles. You claim to stand for something, but you only pick and chose what you guys actually support. Then sweep the rest under the rug, pretending it doesn't exist. You people make me sick with your utter contempt and disregard for trans, females and literally anyone that isn't you, or directly negatively affect you. Giving 0 fucks about them, yet demanding that they all respect you.

7289858 Haha, alright, you see how far this way of thinking gets you in life.

Having read all the comments, what really fucking gets me is that you think you're so progressive that you've actually gone full circle and ended up presenting some of the most sexist bullshit I've ever read.

There is no one right way to write characters of a certain gender. If the character claims they're a certain gender, they're that gender. Just like in real life. You seem to make a hobby out of getting massively offended and then dwelling in a false state of moral superiority when you tell off anyone who disagrees with you.

And then you have the gall to call those folks who came before me close minded.

Thanks for the laughs, I needed them. :heart:

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