Jubilancy
Joined 10th Nov, 2012 ·
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I already like this story. It seems to be very well written, the characters have decent development for one chapter, and we have a bad guy. The names aren't bad either. I shall continue reading.
if it has sex, tag it with sex, and mature. It doesn't matter how graphic it is.
"As wondrous as it was, it dangerous"
"Fallenfeather thanks him"
Not really feeling the whole multilingual thing, but do what you need to do for the story. Liking it so far.
Not even reading until it's bumped up to mature.
1598928 I agree with your argument on the multilingual thing.
1598857 The only sex word in this entire thing is cum. I personally don't think that surfaces as a need for mature.
If it has sex, rate it 'mature' and tag it 'sex'. It's as simple as that.
Nice story so far.
... Not the best but not bad.
"its never too late for breakfast"
I'm starting to like this fallenfeather gal...
I feel lke beating the crap outta that Smack Down
Ill bring my mates and a couple baseball bats, and break his wings,legs and lower spine that should teach him
Why is there even FAKE meat in Equestria
This would mean Ponies ate meat before it was made into tofu to get the flavour right
Also multilanguages O wander what Languages RD can speak
probably Equestrian and Awesome
1603468 Then I succeeded in making a good villain!
1598928 I had an idea for multilingual when I first saw Dressed for Success. How Fluttershy pronounced the french words was flawless, so it just popped into my head.
Aw man, I was hoping Smack Down was going to get what he deserved..
As for POV, maybe try Strike, or a mix of Strike and Shy? And then the next possibly Fallenfeather's? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png
I do have a question, did you just tag Spike as a future character?
1606708 He will, don't worry. :D And yeah, I tagged him and the mane six, they'll all show up soon. I'm thinkin' about three more chapters before they come along.
1607634
Awesome! Just don't rush it!
Smack Down needs a beat down... Pun intended..
1607676 *Smack Down. :D Beat Down fits too though.
1607708
I just slapped myself.... Sorry...
Have all my Fluttershy's..
1607742
Luna is!
Though Fluttershy definitely is the cutest of the Mane 6..
It's not short it's about as long as your other chapters
I would love to see someone step up and tear Smack Down to pieces. there's no way he should be able to get away with what he's doing. Colorstrike and Fine Service are both witnesses.
GAAAAAHHHH
FLUTTER SMASH !!!!
FLUTTER MAD!!!
Hey Smack down I want you to meet my VERY good friends Celestia and Luna, they want to give you a special Present
1 month Dungeon followed by EXECUTION
1620002 ONNN THA MOOOOOOOONAA BEEE-YETCH.
1620216 banishment to the moon is too good for him
How about 1000 years dungeon with merciless beatings each day
Oh and have his 'child makers' (Balls) cut off and hung in front of his face to show little of a man he's been
1620216
It needs to be the sun...
Smack Down, I hope you get what you deserve!
STUPID SMACK DOWN! -Slap-
I lie what you did there with the rapid swiching of POV's, and my emotions. o_o
sorry, "like"
DUDE. WHAT ABOUT THE MATURE RATING!? I enjoy this fic and don't want it taken down.
I do not like where this is headed
1623087 Just rated it mature with a sex tag!
1625735
SWEETNESS!
Just as long as he's dead, I'm happy
1632736 I've been looking forward to writing his death for weeks
Wow... Just wow....
Excuse me, I need to go have a good cry...
Lol thought it said Nutela
Also I'm picturing a reeeeaaaaally painful death for that bastard
ahh, the feels!!
I had a few issues with this chapter. First: Ponies have guns? Second: Why did the police have to resort to deadly force. As far as I know, police only resort to lethal action when thy have no other options.
I understand your frustration, but I feel it has caused you to rush this chapter. As much as I want more, I want quality, and I feel it has slipped a bit. Please keep up the good work you had in previous chapters. I look forward to reading what you write next.
1633634 Yes, ponies have guns.
Also, yeah I understand your point, I rushed quite a bit. 
More chappies? Glad to hear it. Been waiting for Spike to show up.
1632878
Nuttella truly does haunt people.
Fluttershy seemed some kind of emotion I can't accurately name.
1636477 I kept it as a mixture of shock and and just hardness. I mean, when she was a filly, she was used to having people reacti horribly when they saw her on the streets because they knew her background. Now it doesn't really affect her. Ths shock part was about it too, that maybe the impact hadn't yet hit her.
I love this story
The plice should of made Smack Down fly into the ceiling fan..
Aw, Fluttermac. I love things with Fluttermac!
But sad story.. 
I'm more thinking along the lines of him having all his legs Brocken, shattered beyond repair, his wings cut off and the wound corterised so he doesn't bleed out, left to starve for a few days until he nothing but skin and bone. Get a scalpel and cut away his eyelids and pump him full of andrenilin so he cant do anything but witness as you cut him open and rip out his non-vital organs. Leave his heart and lungs in him so he suffers unbearable pain till he finally dies of starvation
1637624
1637641 Story ain't done yet!
1637666
Wow.. Best idea yet!
1637983
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!
Nice chapter. Too bad smack down died...